From the Eyes of a Bird – A Funny Short Story by Kaitlyn Haffner – Reedsy Prompts

Kaitlyn Haffner

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(Author's note: I don't expect to win. I saw the prompt and thought it would be funny.)

Posted Oct 09, 2020

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74 likes 72 comments

Elle Clark

08:04 Oct 18, 2020

A truly moving story with excellent character progression and insight. There’s not a single improvement I can suggest - it’s magnificent.

Lisa Hills

06:07 Oct 18, 2020

Three words: I. Love. This. 😂 Honestly, probably one of the best stories I've ever read in my life.

Dorra Bohli

18:44 Oct 17, 2020

Hahaha! A real bird's perspective

Yunya Yang

15:11 Oct 17, 2020

Love it. Very poetic.

Felicity Anne

13:47 Oct 17, 2020

I cannot tell you how moved I am by your beautiful story! Keep up the fantastic work! :)

L.A. Nolan

11:37 Oct 17, 2020

Good laugh, well done!

Carlos Mendoza

09:37 Oct 17, 2020

Who knew such a simple creature would convey the struggles that plague humanity so clearly, truly revolutionary work.

Andrew Krey

05:00 Oct 17, 2020

Did anyone else notice the typo....

Ben To

04:58 Oct 17, 2020

Ngl you had me in the first half.

Love it!

D. Jahan

04:56 Oct 17, 2020

"Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack "
I'm gonna get this quote tattooed on my arm.

Kaitlyn Haffner

18:35 Oct 19, 2020

Please don't lol

Kylee Kat

04:35 Oct 17, 2020

Omg, this story was life-changing! It was so inspiring to see such a little creature go through so much. It’s now what motivates me to get up in the morning.
;-; When the duck died, I cried. Quack the duck will forever be in my heart! RIP Quacky! Always and forever! 🦆 😭

Hope Rivers

04:38 Oct 17, 2020

Quacky. When I read this I almost burst into tears. Quacky will live forever in our hearts. R.I.P🐥

Kylee Kat

04:41 Oct 17, 2020

I don’t care if Quacky is made up or not! These issues are real and serious! We should start a fundraiser called “The Quacky Foundation.” It will be dedidcated to Quacky and all he did for the world, and it will consist of us handing out this story to inspire people to help the environment! LONG LIVE QUACKY!! 🦆🦆🦆 👑 👑👑👑

Hope Rivers

04:42 Oct 17, 2020

YASS quacky is the real queen!!! 🦆👑
I used a duck this time (yay go me)

Hope Rivers

04:40 Oct 17, 2020

I just realized that’s a chicken. 🙊🙊🙊

Kaitlyn Haffner

11:55 Oct 17, 2020

Thank you for the kind words about quacky, RIP. It honestly hurt me to write that but I’m glad it is inspiring to you. Long live quacky!

Kate Enoch

16:38 Oct 28, 2020

I'm not sure this is quite what the people who choose the prompt had in mind... but I'm not gonna lie, it was definitely entertaining.

Kaitlyn Haffner

18:45 Oct 28, 2020

I know. It reminded me of something I saw, where a kid was asked to write a job application from the perspective of a superhero and he chose groot. You can imagine what happened next

Karen McDermott

15:49 Oct 22, 2020

A strangely hypnotic piece of writing. 10/10

Llind Kam

13:40 Oct 19, 2020

Quack quack quack quack?

Vicky S

19:52 Oct 18, 2020

I love this so much 🦆

K V CHIDAMBARAM

17:57 Oct 18, 2020

Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack quack. Best Wishes

𝗢wen 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿

17:33 Oct 18, 2020

A cross-species tour-de-force, filled with web-footed suspense, sly political allegory, and gritty avian truth-bombs that drop from the sky like guano. A true postmodern masterpiece.

Serious Sri

12:54 Oct 18, 2020

Damn it. This got to me

Never felt like this.
The hook was sooo strong

Princemark Okibe

09:28 Oct 18, 2020

Have you been looking for me, have you been looking for the guy the critique circle sent.
Well... I am here at last. After moving to and fro on the earth. I have come to see that great work of art I was requested to review.

I know whatever edit/suggestion that I give cannot be implemented as the story has already been approved but I will give them anyway. I must fulfill my duty - honor to the very end. Just kidding on the honor part.

God! I now spell honor like an american, see what american authors have caused. Anyway, I digress.

This story is amazing in that it has expressed the mind of a duck perfectly. I never could understand their minds anyway.

Critique time. Let me now give my edits and suggestions.
In the first paragraph, in the third sentence you wrote
[Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack.]
I believe it should be
[Quack Quack Quack, Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack.]
Because the first paragraph does not explain the magnitude of the stream of consciousness of that specific thought due to some things I cannot explain. Hahaha

😅😅

You guys are crazy.

Clara D Berry

06:59 Oct 18, 2020

Hi Kaitlyn. I really enjoyed reading your story. I wrote in my bio that I especially like stories that use a language other than English and don't translate, and this story definitely qualified. It was also very creative. You really captured the bird's perspective.

One question: All 342 sentences have the exact same number of words. How did you manage that? Were you going for poetry?

Here are a few things you might want to think about:
1. Your seventh paragraph, the one that begins "Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack." is rather long. You might want to break that up a little in order to maintain the reader's attention.
2. Check your capitalization. It seems that almost every word in the story starts with a capital letter. Only the first word of each sentence and any proper nouns should be capitalized.
3. This story has no dialogue. It was a great read even without dialogue, but I think it would be even better if you added some dialogue between the bird and the other birds, or even dialogue with some other animals.

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