61 comments

Historical Fiction Sad Speculative

September 1, 1939

The coffee's aroma reminded me of the last night, where my body was aching and craving for Anna. I saw a wild side of her yesterday and could not contain myself. The proposal was not planned but came out abruptly from my mouth.

Last night when we were laying on the terrace gazing at stars all I could demand was love for eternity. To my amazement, she agreed and nodded her head in yes, the rest of the night was marked upon my neck with red blotches.

As I remembered it, my neck tingled and I flushed like a red rose. All this morning I was planning about the intricate details of our wedding, and soon was going to post a letter to mother informing her about the good news.

It was 9’0 clock in the morning and we all were waiting in the café for the news on the radio. The German and USSR agreement was very watched upon and people were nervous about the upcoming war. The scars of World War I hadn't gone yet and the German Expansion was giving a fright, leaving everybody sleepless.

Good morning to the people of Britain. We have some bad news for all.”

The voice from the radio snatched the breath out of the people.

“…German has invaded Poland. Britain who had promised Poland Protection is going to Allie with it and give German a befitting reply. I urge youth from age 18-31 years to take it as an opportunity to serve the nation. Don’t be afraid gentlemen there is always light at the end of the tunnel…..”

People did not have the patience to listen to the whole bulletin. They ran on the streets howling and cursing Hitler for snatching the peace from their lives. People were on the streets discussing ways and plans to run away from the allotment camps.

Walking down the street I knew what would be my next step.

“What's your name Sire?”

“Mark Butler.”

I reached my home, the light was beaming from the kitchen's window indicating the presence of Anna.

I opened the door and smelled the strong aroma of grilled chicken and inhaled it like a soothing scent.

“I was waiting for you. Where were you? I was missing you so much.”

Her doe-like eyes shined in the dim light of the lantern and she hoped in my arms like a fawn. I kissed her immensely like it was the last chance I would ever get to do it.

“What happened, why are you restless?” she asked with a pause.

I placed a badge in her palms and her eyes shot in remorse.

September 2, 1939

“Think about it again, Mark. If you don’t hop on this train then we will have a sustained future, house, and children. Just like you dreamt,” tears had occupied her dull eyes. She clenched my hand, requesting me not to go.

“I promise you, Anna, I will try my best to come back. Don’t stop me.”

She clenched my chest with her soft hands and soaked my vest with her tears.

“Promise me you will try with every power to come back to me.” She fumbled with every word but held my hand with the last hope that she had.

“I promise you,” I said to her with an assuring kiss.

The train's horn blew, signaling all the wailing lovers to embark on the new journey for their nation. I gently removed Annas scarf from her neck and wrapped it along my wrists.

Her scarf will witness my future glories and my only hope in this war.

June 10, 1940

It's been a year since World War II. Germany has captured Belgium and Luxembourg. His marching footsteps are going towards Paris, which must be stopped at all costs.

The war is not going to stop on its own.

Anna is getting anxious day by day and our chance to get united is failing by each moment.

She joined as a nurse to serve the soldiers and the nation. Here I was taking lives and there she was giving lives to the people.

Due to work and war, we could not write each other letters. We did not have a specific location nor place to address them. All we had memories of each other in this dark phase of life.

June 24, 1940

General Charles De Gaulle's has created the Free France movement. We are supposed to march down towards the German army and give them a befitting reply.

Paris is the City of Lights and the City Of Love which shouldn’t be corrupted by hate and dictatorship.

Our batch was ready with rifles, guns, and grenades. But did our hearts dared to kill people and destroy cities?

We never found an answer to this question.

I wrapped Anna's scarf along my wrist to gain the courage that we all were missing of.

August 24, 1940

We were standing on the tanks howling on top of our lungs. Celebrating the defeat of the Germans was the long-standing dream of Britain and the rest of the world. We paid a huge price for it though.

We lost a million people till now, I lost my friend, our commander, and the city lost its luster and love. We all posed for the cameras, freezing our smile in this biting cold. The news was transmitted through the telegram to the general, and we all were hugging each other for being alive.

Ou win did not matter much. All we wanted was the scent of the earth of our homelands. Greed, inhumanity towards specific people, massacre, gas chambers, and hate had blinded the minds of the dictators. Their actions were no longer indicating peace or purpose.

We may have won the war of guns, but winning the war of mind and hearts was way tougher.

This war has shown everybody the plight that humanity has suffered.

We were deployed to the gas chambers to rescue all the bondage people and children. The German soldiers had already left in fear. All we could find were dirty, hunger-stricken, and diseased people.

We rescued them, freed them from their bondage, and took them to the health clinics.

The clinics were in the worst state. The air was condensed with the smell of blood, and the pungent smell of iodine roasted the hair of my nostrils.

Some soldiers were calling for life, some were calling for death.

Their amputated hands and feet showed us the true face of war.

The win did not change the mood of the people nor did it bring shine to their eyes.

Hopes were still clinging to us just like Annas scarf, which needed to get back to its owner.

February 07, 2021 09:24

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61 comments

Radhika Diksha
10:46 Feb 07, 2021

A new story is out would love your feedback.

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Amarah Friedman
19:40 Mar 20, 2021

What a beautiful portrayal of war-time romance. Lovely descriptions in the beginning. It's sad, but it comes full circle. I particularly like how you juxtapose the narrator bringing death while his fiancé brings life. When you echoed the sentiment again towards the end with the sentence, "some soldiers were calling for life, some were calling for death," it made clear how easily the narrator could have been thrust into misfortune. The scarf was like a talisman, keeping him safe. I enjoyed reading this.

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Nainika Gupta
03:02 Feb 11, 2021

Ohmygawd, this is such a sad story....GOOD but sad :( I loved how you described the feelings of war and soldiers..tied the story together beautifully. Also, I loved the way you separated out the story with the dates - gave the reader a sense of setting which played well. I would like to have seen you incorporate a little more drama and intrigue into the story...that would have helped the reader want more...NEED more! And also, I think you stated too blatantly at the end..you started to get a little philosophical which takes away from the...

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Radhika Diksha
03:03 Feb 11, 2021

Thank you so much Nanika. Your feedback matters.

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Nainika Gupta
03:08 Feb 11, 2021

Of course Radhika, I really enjoy your stories and your ideas because you have a VERY unique style that I can't help but come back to again, and again!! <3

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Yolanda Wu
10:46 Feb 08, 2021

Wow, Radhika, you're really getting me with these historical fictions. I loved how you perfectly balanced out the factual, historical side of it, with the emotional side. Honestly, you should be so proud, your writing has really improved so much! I really mean this genuinely, like your descriptions and plot and character interactions have gotten so much better. I especially loved your first sentence, and the way your wrote the main character and Anna's relationship, of course your ending was so beautiful and poetic. There's just one part wh...

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Radhika Diksha
11:30 Feb 08, 2021

Thank you so much. Your awesome feedbacks have improved me a lot. I will see if I can make any changes.

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Yolanda Wu
20:17 Feb 08, 2021

You're welcome!

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Danny
04:23 Feb 08, 2021

Great stoy Radhika! I love the descriptions you used, the surrounding scents, imagery, everything is written so well! Like Isaac said, I think the dates were a great idea, it doesnt give like... big time skips (is that the word? i forgot), it feels more organized, and gives a better theme of the story. You really outdid yourself this time, you said you would make a better story for the upcoming prompts, and you did! Great job! :DDD

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Radhika Diksha
04:29 Feb 08, 2021

Thank you so much Danny. i felt nice that i proved my worth and outdid my self.

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Danny
04:49 Feb 08, 2021

Of course, and you did! great job! :DDD

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Rhondalise Mitza
00:46 Feb 08, 2021

I'll get back to you for feedback but, um, why have we not talked about Eleanor and Park before??

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Radhika Diksha
01:54 Feb 08, 2021

Do you too like the book?

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Rhondalise Mitza
03:38 Feb 08, 2021

absolutely

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Radhika Diksha
03:55 Feb 08, 2021

I love the book too. So when did you read it.

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Rhondalise Mitza
13:28 Feb 09, 2021

Oh I read it first when I was about thirteen but it's still one of my favorite books now.

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Wow Radhika! Lovely story, really beautifully described. how you showed the pain and everything was like watching a history movie. Great work!!!

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Radhika Diksha
02:54 Feb 11, 2021

Happy Birthday Varsha.

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Thank you so much Radhika!!!

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Radhika Diksha
15:30 Feb 11, 2021

Stay happy and healthy in your life. How did you celebrate it.

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Thank you so much!!! i got a lot of wishes from friends and cake!!! and just relax:)

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14:00 Feb 07, 2021

Oh wow, so I hate historical fiction when it's really old, but I love 20th-century stories! Truly powerful and haunting, especially when you've studied these events so in-depth. Those last lines really tied the entire thing together. One thing I've noticed with this work, and some of your others, is that you always tie emotions to items. It's a really amazing way to add in metaphors!

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Radhika Diksha
14:02 Feb 07, 2021

Thank you so much ethan, its kinda hard to write historical fiction.

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14:04 Feb 07, 2021

I understand that so much; I remember a certain time when I wanted to write a covid story the day we were let out of school, thinking that it was temporary...

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Radhika Diksha
14:13 Feb 07, 2021

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

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14:15 Feb 07, 2021

It was going to be a zombie apocalypse one too... what was I thinking????

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13:47 Feb 07, 2021

Loved the characters and plot, even though it was so sad :). Everything flowed beautifully and the title was just amazing! The last line tied the whole story together, and I really enjoyed reading this. I know you asked for more constructive feedback, but I'm pretty bad at providing that kind of thing, and previous comments basically mentioned all the critique I noticed :P Great post Radhika! It was a great read!

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Radhika Diksha
13:49 Feb 07, 2021

Thank you so much. Looking forward to reading your stories.

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15:32 Feb 08, 2021

Thanks!! I'd love it if you would read Lacuna, mostly because it hasn't gotten much constructive criticism :P Thank you so much!!

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Frances Reine
13:23 Feb 07, 2021

Strong plot and admirable character. I could only find one typo: Ou win did not matter much. All we wanted was the scent of the earth of our homelands. ---> "Our win" My favourite line is "we all were hugging each other for being alive." This one image is all I need.

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Radhika Diksha
13:28 Feb 07, 2021

Thanks for pointing out the typo. And your feedback is valuable.

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Frances Reine
13:37 Feb 07, 2021

No problem. Sorry if it's a little rushed today, I got sidetracked.

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Radhika Diksha
13:29 Feb 07, 2021

So are you submitting any stories this week.

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Frances Reine
13:39 Feb 07, 2021

As of now, I am banging my head over these prompts. History's not for me. If I do I'll let you know :)

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Radhika Diksha
13:43 Feb 07, 2021

Its ok. I thought some prompts will be on Valentine's day but reedsy surprised me.

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Frances Reine
13:55 Feb 07, 2021

Oh, you're right--Valentine's Day! I'd be much more inclined to write if I got a handful of valentines prompts.

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Radhika Diksha
14:02 Feb 07, 2021

me too.

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Writer Maniac
11:37 Feb 07, 2021

Woah! I really liked the main idea of the story, how the narrator is incredibly patriotic and chooses to fight for his country rather than taking the easy way out and getting a wife and family. I found a few grammar mistakes and a few unnecessary words, and if you would like me to point them out to you, I would be happy to. Other than that, I really loved the plot and characters. Well done!

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Radhika Diksha
11:41 Feb 07, 2021

Ya, I would love it if you point out the grammar mistakes and words. Thank you for the feedback.

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Writer Maniac
12:00 Feb 07, 2021

Okay, here you go: 1. "The coffee's aroma reminded me of the last night" - remove 'the'. 2. "...she agreed and nodded her head in yes" - in this, it is more to do with 'show not tell'. If she nods it is obvious that she has agreed. You don't need to mention that she agreed and nodded her head in yes, you can just say that 'she nodded' or 'she nodded with tears in her eyes'. 3. "...I was planning about the intricate details" - remove the 'about'. 4. "Good morning to the people of Britain. We have some bad news for all. “…German has invade...

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Radhika Diksha
12:22 Feb 07, 2021

Thank you so much. I will work on it immediately. Do you like the plot and the story.

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Writer Maniac
12:27 Feb 07, 2021

Yes, really liked the plot and the story, have mentioned in my first comment.

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Writer Maniac
12:28 Feb 07, 2021

Would appreciate some feedback on my latest story :)

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Writer Maniac
13:38 Feb 07, 2021

I have also posted another story called 'The Lucky Ones' right now, so please check that out as well :)

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Radhika Diksha
13:45 Feb 07, 2021

Actually, i keep a reedsy day in the week, where I read all stories and give feedback. i am busy right now hence cant give you feedback right now.

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Danny
10:11 Feb 07, 2021

Ooooooohhhhhh, new storyyyy from youuu! :DDD

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Maya
13:59 Feb 10, 2021

Nice name!!! :)

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. .
13:12 Feb 09, 2021

NEW STORY

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The title was great. Loved how sad it was you done great in this story! i loved the ending paragraphs, as i could feel the pain the soilders were in you could change the title to Anna's scarf :D keep on writing <3

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Radhika Diksha
16:52 Feb 07, 2021

Thanks for the feedback. Well your suggested title is too good.

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. .
14:31 Feb 07, 2021

This was great!! I loved the symbolism, but I would certainly recommend that you try to use more description of the outside world, not just hte people in it, because I feel like all of your stories are centered solely around the people and with very little description of the world they live in. Other than that, *chef's kiss*

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Radhika Diksha
15:04 Feb 07, 2021

Actually, initially, I included the war, battles, and the sir bombarding. But in the end, I did not like it personally. I wanted to focus on the emotions rather than action. Hence I focused on the people more. I worked on the facts as you had said earlier. How did you like it?

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. .
15:06 Feb 07, 2021

Yeah, but I think that emotions need grounding in a setting. I loved it!! Seemed much more realistic because of the factual background. You've gotten so much betterrrrr Radhika its crazyyyyyyyyy

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Radhika Diksha
15:32 Feb 07, 2021

Thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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. .
16:23 Feb 07, 2021

No problemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Kate Reynolds
14:18 Feb 07, 2021

OMG I LOVED THIS!!! IT WAS SO INSPIRATIONALLLLLLL But maybe you could add some details about the war itself, like a scene on the battlefield or something? I really liked it though!!!

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Radhika Diksha
15:02 Feb 07, 2021

i like to keep my plot maximin to 1200 words. So, i kept it small.

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Kate Reynolds
15:47 Feb 07, 2021

Oh ok!

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