What Is A Superhero?

Submitted into Contest #48 in response to: Write about someone who has a superpower.... view prompt

55 comments

Fantasy

What is a superhero?

It is a title given for those having the superpower and using it to represent hope, opportunity, and strength for everybody.

Because when you only have a superpower without the right attitude, you are not a superhero.

You are just someone with a superpower.

---

I was nine years old when I realized that I have a superpower.

When I was five, I walked near a TV, then the screen turned blurry and then blacks out completely. Since then, my Mom blocked my way near the new TV in the house.

When I was seven, I touched a light bulb, and the electrical wire zapped. It could never turn on anymore. Since then, my Dad banned me from helping him to change the light bulb.

When I was nine, I found a random electrical wire at the backyard, and all the electricity got absorbed into my body. Since then, both of my parents agreed to send me out to the prison where I am currently living.

---

“Five,” the sound from the back of the door called me. “It’s your turn.”

Following that call for my presence, the door is wide open. From inside the blanket, I can see a woman walking towards me.

“Let’s go, Five,” standing in front of me, the woman put her hands unto the pocket of her white coat.

I tighten my grasp into the blanket. “I don’t want to go.”

The woman frowns. Her face looks agitated by my rejection. With her big green eyes, she brings her face closer and glares intensely right at my eyes. “Let’s go, right now.”

“I don’t want to! It hurts!” I yelled at her. I quickly pull my blanket, hiding my face away from this ruthless woman in front of me. The woman clicks her tongue in annoyance. I can imagine her facial expression turns even worse by the second. 

She tries to jerk off my blanket, tries to get me out of the tiny, dark room where she keeps me the past couple of months. However, I hold on to that piece of fabric as if my life depends on it. 

Why? Because I’d rather stay in this stinky hole forever than to follow her. 

Because even if I am not allowed to do anything as I please, cannot go anywhere else, no longer eat tasty food on the outside world, I know I can stay alive if I stay inside this fully-guarded, concrete-walled room.

Because when I am inside those white room that she calls her office, she will force me to do all those dangerous things that may end up costing my own life.

---

When she realizes that she has no strength to bring me over by herself, she walks out of the room, still clicking her tongue in annoyance.

When the sound of her steps fades away, I uncover my head out of the blanket. I turn my head around, clarifying that the evil is no longer in my room, and let a sigh out of relief as I relax my grip on the blanket. I lie down comfortably, thinking that I have successfully dodged a bullet.

But that feeling does not last long.

The woman comes back, with two muscular guys in black uniform who are pinning me down. 

I gather all my strength, desperately trying to break free from the two guys on top of me. 

Yet my effort is meaningless. The physical strength of a nine-year-old kid falls way below those trained guys.

From the opened door, I can see the woman gradually getting close to me. And when she reaches the side of my bed, I can see a needle on her hand. 

That second, I can see her scariest grin before all goes black.

---

The next moment, I find myself chained to a large wooden chair. I can move neither my hands nor my legs. I cannot even move my neck to observe the situation, but I know I am inside the so-called office. 

“Let’s begin with the smallest voltage first,” I can hear a sound from my right-hand side, a man’s voice. Using the corner of my eyes, I glance at the owner of the voice, who is standing behind a glass wall, beside the damned woman who dragged me down here.

“Experiment five, o, one begins in 3, 2, 1,” the woman clicked a button on her hands. A series of electric shock runs down from my head and goes all over my body, taking me by shock for a second.

And off it goes, all inside my body. I wince from the tingling sparks on my fingertips.

“Success. Moving on to experiment five, o, two.” 

More electric spark coming through, but this time, stronger.

And I can feel the electricity gradually creeping inside, into my internal organs, and slowly disrupting my nerves.

I scream out of pain, right before all the sparks get its way inside of me.

“Two hundred volts, success. Begin experiment five, o, three.” 

I struggle to catch my breath, yet another set of electricity strikes again.

“It…, it hurts. Please stop!” I yell in between my breath, begging to those people behind the glass wall.

But the electricity continues to run.

“P-please, please stop it!” I screamed out. 

I know my body cannot intake any more electricity. 

I know I have exceeded my capacity. 

I know that if this continues, those sparks will soon hit my brain and kills me off.

Yet, the two stood still, kept watching me behind the glass wall, with an amused expression on their face.

I try to withstand the incoming pain for as long as I can remember. I scream, again and again. I beg for their mercy to let me live, again and again. 

But, it is more than I can handle. I give up; I let the electricity cuts my brain off.

---

The two muscular guys unlocked the chains on Five’s limbs, taking the lifeless boy away from the electrocution chair.

“Ah, seems like a failure,” the woman said, watching through the glass.

“Oh well, every cloud has a silver lining. At least, now we know that the kid can only absorb the maximum of 500 volts,” the man said.

A grin shows up on the woman’s face. “Let’s replace the kid with sample number six and test that hypothesis.”

---

What is a superhero?

It is a title given for those having the superpower and using it to represent hope, opportunity, and strength for everybody.

Because when you only have a superpower without the right attitude, you are not a superhero.

You become a guinea pig, a test subject for those mad scientists.

July 03, 2020 07:49

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55 comments

Zilla Babbitt
14:05 Jul 04, 2020

You asked me to read, so here I am. Surprising ending! Your dialogue is good and your descriptions are vivid. It looks like typos but you switch tense sometimes in the middle of a sentence. More importantly, this is a good message. However, it wasn't the main character's fault that he become a test subject. Perhaps if in the beginning he refused to use his powers for good, and then the researchers kidnapped him, it would be more meaningful. Vivid and scary. Keep it up!

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Deborah Angevin
21:28 Jul 04, 2020

Thank you for the feedback, Zilla! Will definitely ensure the consistent tenses next time! :)

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Raven Quill
03:09 Jul 10, 2020

The imagery of this was very intense, it had that desired suspenseful intent. I also really liked your methods of separating everything and the varying sentence lengths for drama. I think there were a few tenses issues and the ending could have been a little less specific. Maybe instead if you had done something about being used? Either way I loved this dark spin and I look forward to more!!

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Reena B.
17:06 Jul 09, 2020

I like how you wrote about a superhero as a test subject—super creative. I loved your use of imagery and your message. Wonderful job!

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Nandan Prasad
13:12 Jul 09, 2020

Hey, wonderful story! The premise puts just the right amount of curiosity into the mind of the reader. But as someone before has aid, maybe you can use slightly worse examples to show the powers of the main character. But otherwise, fantastic job with the scary details and especially the ending.

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Deborah Angevin
20:59 Jul 09, 2020

Thank you for the feedback, Nandan! :)

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Charles Stucker
12:55 Jul 09, 2020

I like your style. Two stories, both with endings I might write. I'm not always dark, but often enough to keep people guessing. Just like One Hour Inside, you have a good tale with solid pacing. However you still have the little fiddly bits. The aspect of coming full cycle is very appealing, starting with the question about superheroes, but I think you might shorten the opening background as well as tightening the bookend question. It just doesn't flow quite as smoothly as elsewhere in those sections. You have a great style, so keep up ...

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Deborah Angevin
21:00 Jul 09, 2020

Thank you for the feedback, Charles. Would keep that in mind for the next submission! :)

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11:18 Jul 09, 2020

Deborah, I feel for the kid. Oh my! All along I kept hoping he would rescue himself and put to death all those against him by using his superpowers. But the message is very well taken, someone without the ability to protect himself (the weak) and the ones without the right attitude are just merely owners of a superpower and not supermen or superwomen. Excellent work.

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Deborah Angevin
11:56 Jul 09, 2020

Thank you for checking it out, Jayashree! :)

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Zan Lexus
22:53 Jul 08, 2020

Great ending. ^_^

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Deborah Angevin
22:56 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you for reading and enjoying it :)

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Conner Williams
22:16 Jul 08, 2020

really cool story and ending, I liked the parallels in the beginning and end, I wish there was more build-up and background with the parents, seems pretty extreme to send a kid to prison for breaking 3 things

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Deborah Angevin
22:58 Jul 08, 2020

In my mind, the parents send him to the laboratory not because of breaking things, but more because they are afraid of the superpower! My bad, probably should have that written out more clearly in the story :D

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Arie Toro
01:38 Jul 08, 2020

Wow! I love the change of perspective here in this story. It shows us a whole other story starring people with superpowers. I enjoyed your story a lot :) If you have any spare time, would you check mine out? Thanks!

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Deborah Angevin
08:22 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you for reading it and glad that you enjoyed it! Sure, I will check out your story too :)

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Aqsa Malik
22:41 Jul 06, 2020

Hey Deborah! You starting off with the definition of a superhero was really cool because it set the tone for the rest of the story and made the ending so much more engaging. The sentiment of the definition too was really nice, I loved it. I also like the use of short sentences, especially in stories like these where the premise is a bit more dark. The impact of the short sentences really struck out! There were a few things I noticed which I'll point out: -in the definition, you said "the superpower" which made it sound like there...

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Deborah Angevin
23:03 Jul 08, 2020

Thanks for the feedback! A couple more readers also pointed out my grammar (and the changing tense); would make sure it won't happen again on my next submission! As for the ending: it is actually as you said - he has done nothing but scaring his parents with his power and ends up in the experiment :).

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Batool Hussain
04:53 Jul 06, 2020

Hi Deborah! Another wonderful story from an equally wonderful author like you🌟 The ending, moreover was very unexpected but to the point. Good! Also if you don't mind will you please check out my new story and hive your views on it? Thanks

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Deborah Angevin
09:30 Jul 06, 2020

Glad that you enjoyed in, Batool! Will definitely check yours out :)

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Harken Void
09:31 Jul 04, 2020

Well this was a surprise! I like the ending, it's different from the norm where the hero always seems to do soemthing incredible and save the day. Nope, not this time. Nicely done! I feel it's exactly what scientists would do if they found someone with superpowers. Then again, how do we know that they aren't doing that already? It's not like they'd broadcast it on the news. I noticed you using past and present tense throughout the story (within the same POV). Might want to keep an eye out for that and stick with one or the other.

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Deborah Angevin
21:31 Jul 04, 2020

Agree with that! As someone who works in the science area myself, I realize that most of our jobs are behind the scene and never actually shown out to the mass. Sorry about the changing tenses! Will keep it in mind for the upcoming submission. Thank you for the feedback :)

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Harken Void
07:47 Jul 05, 2020

So... do you secretly work on people with superpowers? Was this a true story afer all? :D

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Deborah Angevin
09:17 Jul 05, 2020

Lol, unfortunately (or fortunately?), no! :D

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Iman Fatima
05:32 Jul 04, 2020

I would've never thought about people with superpowers beu]ing mistreated this way. It's always the superheroes who PREVENT people from being mistreated. A very fresh and original idea. Keep striving.

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Deborah Angevin
05:58 Jul 04, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Iman! :)

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05:16 Jul 04, 2020

A really interesting story Deborah! Honestly, I did not except such a fresh perspective of a superhero story. Loved it Deborah. Looking forward to more stories.

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Deborah Angevin
05:58 Jul 04, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Lakshya! :)

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𝔸. Triangle
02:00 Jul 04, 2020

I loved all the build-up and anticipation is found throughout your stories. Great job this week! Sincerely, A.

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Deborah Angevin
05:58 Jul 04, 2020

Glad that you liked the story! :)

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𝔸. Triangle
20:28 Jul 04, 2020

You're welcome! -A.

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00:35 Jul 04, 2020

GREAT story Deborah! I had to agree with Corey that this might happen in reality if people happen to display their powers! Such a beautiful story Deborah! Loved it!😄 Keep writing and have a great day Deborah!❤️️

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Deborah Angevin
06:03 Jul 04, 2020

Glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you for your time reading it :)

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07:17 Jul 04, 2020

You're welcome Deborah! :)))

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Corey Melin
23:20 Jul 03, 2020

Loved the story. Probably would happen in reality if people displayed powers. Maybe it does? 😥

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Deborah Angevin
06:03 Jul 04, 2020

I'd imagine that to happen (hence the story!)

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Roshna Rusiniya
16:24 Jul 03, 2020

This was a very cute story. Some interesting observations throughout too. Loved the first paragraph. Great job Deborah!

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Deborah Angevin
20:16 Jul 03, 2020

Thank you for reading it, Roshna! :)

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Roshna Rusiniya
02:08 Jul 04, 2020

You are welcome Deborah! And when you get time, have a look at mine too! ☺️

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Deborah Angevin
05:59 Jul 04, 2020

Sure thing!

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Sunny 🌼
19:00 Aug 30, 2020

Very cool!

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Deborah Angevin
09:47 Aug 31, 2020

Thank you, Sarah! :D

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Akshat .
14:21 Aug 28, 2020

Wow! I loved this story! Five's end was perfectly written, and the end was amazing! I would recommend this story to any one with superpowers! Awesome! PS. Could you read my newest story? Thanks!

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Deborah Angevin
22:39 Aug 28, 2020

Thank you for checking the story out, Akshat! Sure, I will read yours :)

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Akshat .
05:10 Aug 29, 2020

You're welcome! Thanks!

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