20 Questions (A Star Wars Fanfiction)

“Let’s play 20 Questions.”

“How about no?”

“If you don’t play 20 Questions with me, I’ll tell Master Windu I saw you at the docks talking with a Separatist.”

“I hate you.”

“I know. Anyways, Question 1 – How do you know Senator Chuchi?”

“Ugh, why do you care? My Master and I spent a few months protecting her family when I was a Padawan. We grew close, and we’ve been good friends. Question for you, where did you grow up? You were 10 when you came to the Order on Coruscant.”

“Interesting. I grew up as a slave on Tatooine with my mother.”

“Oh! I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know! You should be less annoying if you want people to not pry into those things, Anakin.”

“It’s fine, I’ve come to terms with it. It’s been nearly 13 years now. Besides, your question – What’s your favourite colour?”

“Seriously? Ugh. It’s the colour of my hair. A cross between wine, dark fuchsia and plum. Same question.”

“Stop being a grouch, Valerie. Cerulean Blue. Happiest memory?”

“I was 15. Me and Riyo-“

“Who’s Riyo?”

“Quit interrupting me!”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t pout at me, Skywalker. Riyo is Senator Chuchi’s first name. You didn’t know?”

“Umm… no? Why would I?”

“Silly Bantha. Anyways, we were sitting at the edge of her pool at her family’s estate on Celiin. We were talking, swinging our feet in the crystal-blue water of the pool, and cloud-watching. There were white puffy clouds; it was picturesque. It was sunny, there was a light breeze, spring, smelled fresh outside. Birds chirping, ya know? Then she pushed me into the pool, and I pulled her in with the Force. After that, we just hung out, and it was just so… fun. Amazing.”

“Sweet. You sound like you cherish it.”

“I do. Same question.”

“I guess… the day I won the Podrace on Tatooine and Master Qui-Gon brought me to Coruscant to begin my training. Question 4, how old are you?”

“Has no one ever told you not to ask a girl’s age?!”

“Don’t act like you take offense, Diamant. For starters, you’re a Jedi Knight, not an ordinary girl. And don’t grunt at me!”

“I’m 21. You? And this isn’t one of my questions.”

“Happy to oblige, General Diamant. 22. Nearly 23.”

“My question 4. How long have you been flying?”

“Since forever, I guess. Can’t remember a time I couldn’t fly.”

“That sounds nearly sad.”

“It’s not.”

“Question 5, get this over with, Anakin Annoyingwalker.”

“Who was your Master when you were a Padawan?”

“I was Master Romulus Tark’s Padawan. Question 5, what’s the worst punishment Master Obi-Wan gave you for misbehaving?”

“Oh, this is a great story! You see, I was 12. Master Obi-Wan was going on a mission. He didn’t let me come, but I wanted to go so bad, I stowed away on his ship. Turns out, there was a change of plan, and Master Windu was with us, too. Thankfully, Master Obi-Wan found me before Master Windu did. He looked like he might have had a stroke it was hilarious. He shoved me into the air vent and refused to let me on a starship for a month after that. Hey, stop laughing! It’s not funny, I love ships!”

“Shut up. This is hilarious, Skywalker. I’m trying to visualize Master Obi-Wan stuffing a 12-year-old you into an air vent to hide you from Master Windu.”

“Meanie.”

“I’m not known for my kindness, Skywalker.”

“Question 6, do you want a Padawan? Why or why not?”

“Hm… I guess I would, after this mission, though. It’s part of a Jedi’s responsibility to teach the next generation, and I find that teaching comes naturally to me. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to have someone I could trust, and count on. Your turn, why didn’t you want a Padawan?”

“Well, I thought a Padawan would just hold me back. Snips didn’t, and I found I was wrong. But then she had to be the one that- that uh, betrayed the Order.”

“Well, it wasn’t your fault, anyways. You couldn’t have done anything else, it was her turn to the Dark Side.”

“Valerie, let’s please not dwell on Ahsoka. Anyways, Question 7, why is your lightsaber purple- OW! Why the hell did you do that?!”

“Because you’re being an idiot. You deserved that. I hope your jaw bruises in the shape of my fist.”

“I’m going to get you back for that someday.”

“Try me. At least I don’t let other Jedi get the jump on me. And I don’t force them to play 20 Questions with me, either.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh, pardon me. My answer is: Why is your lightsaber blue?”

“Quit the sass, Diamant. And fine.”

“You wasted one good question.”

“Sometimes you’re so sarcastic, I can’t tell if you’re being sassy or genuine.”

“I only learnt from the best.”

“And who would that be?”

“That’s question 8! And it’s Obi-Wan, duh.”

“I’ll pass on the compliments. Your turn.”

“Um… What’s one thing you admire about your old Master?”

“Seriously? Not that it’s a bad question, or anything, but of all the questions you could ask me, you choose to ask me this?”

“Yes.”

“I admire Obi-Wan’s wisdom. He’s the wisest Jedi I’ll ever meet.”

“Ouch.”

“Swallow your pride, Diamant.”

“Whatever. Aren’t you going to ask me Question 9?”

“I am. Ever been mad at Master Windu?”

“I refuse to answer that. Same question.”

“I have. Question 10, What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Don’t laugh at me, but it’s Theed.”

“Theed as in the capital city of Naboo?!”

“I told you not to laugh!”

“Don’t whine, Val-“

“My name is Valerie, not Val.”

“Okay, grumpy-“

“I am not grumpy!”

“I don’t blame you. Naboo is one of the most beautiful planets I’ve ever seen, but one of the most beautiful sights in the galaxy is standing right in front of me.”

“Goodness, you’re such an obnoxious flirt. Should I call Senator Amidala?”

“What do you mean?”

“Question 11, and I’m going first now, what’s with you and her?”

“I refuse to answer that. I’m a Jedi.”

“Jedi don’t flirt.”

“You flatter yourself.”

“I know.”

“*sigh* You’re exhausting. Question 11, if you were invisible for a day, what would you do?”

“Hey, you signed up for this when you asked me to play 20 Questions. I’d simply finish my missions, invisibility’s an added perk.”

“Question 12, do you believe in soulmates?”

“Anakin!”

“I’m the answer?”

“I hate you. I don’t know. Question 12, the invisibility one.”

“I’d prank Obi-Wan all day long. Maybe get the jump on some Seppies. I’d have fun, because I’m not a square.”

“Neither am I, I’m just a responsible Jedi.”

“The problem with you is that you don’t know the meaning of the word fun.”

“Oh, so it’s like that? You don’t know the meaning of responsibility.”

“Question 13, what’s your favourite food?”

“Roasted Porg.”

“Now that’s just mean.”

“You idiot, Jedi are supposed to have hearts of compassion. I couldn’t eat a Porg to save my life. My favourite food is Colo Claw Fish. Same question.”

“Fancy. Mine’s Hot Chocolate. It’s exotic.”

“I’ve had it plenty of times with Riyo.”

“Question 14, favorite planet?”

“Alderaan and Christophsis.”

“So you’re into beauty, huh?”

“When it comes to planets. Not when it comes to people. Same question.”

“So you’d date a Mythosaur?”

‘”No, I wouldn’t date at all. I’m a Jedi. And you didn’t answer my question.”

“You’re no fun.”

“If I wasn’t, you wouldn’t keep bothering me.”

“Coruscant. It’s where I came after being rescued from the trash-can in the Outer Rim known as Tatooine.”

“Deep.”

“Question 15, if you weren’t a Jedi, what would you have done in life?”

“I might have become a pilot. Or done something on Alderaan or Pantora. Same question.”

“Quit saying ‘Same Question’, be original. I’d have become a pilot or a mechanic.”

“Sweet.”

“Question 16, and don’t throw this back at me, you wimp, what’s the most reckless thing you’ve ever done?”

“I… I jumped into a pit of Ice Beasts as a padawan. I thought I could take them, but found out I was pitifully inexperienced the hard way. I was fine, save for a broken leg, a spear through the stomach, a fractured cheekbone, a punctured lung, and 4 broken ribs.”

“Ouch. Mine I can’t say, because I’ve been reckless far too many times to count.”

“I agree. Master Obi-Wan has said enough. What’s the weirdest dream you ever had?”

“I dreamed I was a Wampa and destroyed Tatooine with my bare hands.”

“You sure hate Tatooine.”

“Question 17, how old were you when you were given the rank of Padawan?”

“14 and a half. How old were you when you first wanted to be a Jedi?”

“5.”

“Ha! I was already a Youngling then.”

“Oh, but I never was a Youngling. I skipped to Padawan, ha!”

“Show off.”

“Anyhow, Question 18. Is one life sacrificed worth saving 10?

“It depends. Is the person willing to sacrifice themselves? Who are they? Who are they saving? For example, a Senator shouldn’t be forced to sacrifice themself for a bunch of lowlifes, thieving gangsters that are wastes of air and space. But if it’s a Jedi willing to give their life for 10 younglings, or Senators, or something like that, it could be acceptable. Yours, how much do you change when no one’s around?”

“Not much. I’m still an arrogant twat.”

“I knew that.”

“Question 19, how much do you change when no one’s around?”

“But you-“

“No, this is like, my second time turning the question around. I still get to do this.”

“I don’t change when no one’s around. I’m the same person in any situation.”

“Badass.”

“Question 20, wat do most people assume about you that isn’t true?

“Everyone thinks that just because I’m the Chosen One, I don’t have any emotions, character, feelings or personality, you know? Like, sometime I feel like the Order just wants me because of my strength and knowledge of the Force instead of because I’m a Jedi, a person.”

“Deep.”

“Question 20, play again?”

“NO! I will never play this wretched game, with you or anyone else, for that matter. Get lost now.”