TW: Mentions of Anorexia and anxiety
Authors Note: hehe so a few things. This is supposed to be submitted under the prompt "Write about two people reconnecting after a rough in their relationship." However, stupid me when submitting a story a few days ago that didnt go with any of the prompts, submitted it under the exact one that this story was written to. Sorry if that made no sense at all, but basically, this story goes with this prompt: "Write about two people reconnecting after a rough in their relationship."
Not the one it's actually submitted under.
Second thing, this is a collab!!!! The wonderful Eleanor Eclipse wrote this story from Emilila's perspective, so make sure to go read that, her profile will be linked in my comment! Enjoy!
Lexieโs POV
I had formed my room to be perfect.
And then I wanted to form myself to be exactly like my room.
Perfect.
Dad told me it would be better if I was perfect.
Well, heโs never really said much to me at all, but maybe if I was enough he would care.
He would care if I was skinnier.
He would care if my stomach didn't poke out when I wear swimsuits.
He would care if I looked like all the girls on the front of magazines, their ribs visible, no fat. Maybe then he would notice me instead of always fighting with Lacy or Emilila.
Maybe heโd like me if my hair wasn't so straight, or if I wasn't covered in freckles.
I felt like I needed his approval on everything, but I wouldn't get his approval until I was his perfect little daughter.
And then Emilila and Lacy were introduced.
Father fell head over heels for that woman.
That woman and her perfect little daughter who fit in immediately.
When I turned 16 and got my driver's license, it was my only way to escape everything. The yelling, the fighting, the blaming, the insults. In father's mind everything is pinned on a certain person. I just don't know how to trust him anymore. I went out to buy my first car right when I could. It was the escape I needed.
I snap out of my daze as the front door slams shut.
Father is a stickler for timing and he always comes home at five o'clock, never a minute under or a minute over.
Emilila scampers up the stairs, her tight brown curls bouncing up and down as she reaches the top.
We meet eyes as I step slowly out of my room and a look of fear is plastered on her face. Her pale blue eyes darting around as her hands tremble. She bites her lip and I can see the tears she holds back.
As the word loudly leaves my fatherโs mouth, Iโm stunned halfway down the stairs.
โDivorce.โ
Great, now I was gonna be stuck with my father alone in this hell house. I slipped past Emilila and ventured my way downstairs, avoiding the beast in the living room. And yet his stone cold eyes catch me like a hawk.
โGo back upstairs. I don't need any more worthless kids running around my house.โ
The words hit me like a bullet and I stand there shocked. I can't move my feet as father glares at me.
โLexie Madden, do your ears not work? I told you to go upstairs.โ
He repeats, his voice becoming even more stern the second time.
Lacy inches past my father and runs over to me, resting a hand on my shoulder.
โDid you need anything, dear?โ
A father that cares. Is what I think about saying but I shake my head in response.
Lacy smiles sweetly and nods.
โI can make you a snack! Your appetite seems a little low lately.โ
I shake my head again, wanting to avoid that situation and force a smile back.
โIโm ok, thanks Lacy. Iโve got a lot of homework anyways, so I should go upstairs.โ
I duck under Lacyโs arm and hurry back to my room, shutting the door and grabbing my ear buds. I can feel the tears rising in my throat as I snatch my iPod off my desk and collapse onto my bed, the guilt rising in my head. I should've done a workout today, should've eaten less for breakfast, and forgot to weigh myself. God, I hate my brain.
After 20 minutes of the fighting, the voices grow quiet and I hear father retreat to his room, and Emilila trotting down the stairs.
I follow her, knowing Lacy will suspect something if I don't come for dinner and slip into my usual spot at the table.
Lacy spoons out soup for each of us and sits down next to Emilila. Silence rests over us, tension sending us off into our own worlds.
I force myself out of it and glance over at Lacy, who stares at Emilila with a worried look on her face.
โYou alright?โ I ask, standing up.
Emilila nods, but I donโt believe it as I rest the back of my hand against her forehead.
โYouโre burning up!โ I watch as Emilila nods again and closes her eyes, Lacy standing up.
โIโm just tired, probably a bug from school.โ She mumbles.
Lacy grabs an ice pack and sends Emilila upstairs and I take it as my opportunity to escape the table.
Once Iโm safely in my room, I drag over my desk chair to the window next to my bed and disappear into the world of music. Salty tears roll down my cheeks as I pull my hair out of the bun and rest my head against the window.
The music drowns out noises from downstairs, fatherโs complaints from his bedroom and sends me into a peaceful abyss.
Halfway through my playlist, someone taps my shoulder.
My hand flies up and I pull the earbuds out of my ears and turn to find a shaking Emilila who stutters as she tries to muster some words. โ
โNot here, ok?โ I say, pushing my window open.
The outdoors greets me with a cool breeze, drying the tears still smudged on my cheeks.
I climb out into a tree right next to my window and climb down, Emilila close behind me.
I get in my car and let Emilila into the passenger street and start it up, pulling out of the driveway.
After moments of silence, Emilila bursts into tears and tucks her knees into her chest.
I turn on my headlights and sigh, unsure what to say.
โSo Iโm getting the feeling somethingโs going on thatโs more than school?โ
Emilila shrugs, then slowly nods, glancing over at me.
โWhat happened at dinner?โ I ask.
โTheyโre not working!โ
โWhatโs not working?โ I ask again, turning off our street.
โThose stupid pills! I get so nervous that I canโt breathe so I shove one of those stupid pills down my throat and it just makes it worse!!!โ She yells, heavy tears streaming down her cheeks.
โI feel like I canโt ever catch my breath, like Iโm always on the verge of running out of air. Like Iโm drowning in a pool of my thoughts.โ Emilila finishes, her voice shaky.
โWhat are you afraid of happening?โ
Emilila opens her mouth then closes it, going silent.
โI-I don't know I always convince myself that someone's gonna die or Iโm gonna die or someone's gonna take me, or that no one likes me, I just end up getting trapped in my own thoughts.โ
I pull into a parking lot and stop the car, turning to face Emilila. She shakes in the seat, her eyes focused ahead and her breath quickens.
โLetโs play a game,โ I suggest, and she looks at me but nods, snapping her head back to a forwards position.
โTell me about that really annoying kid in your class. What was his name, Joel?โ
Emilila nods, still dazed and afraid.
โAnd he always tries to bring his rat to school?โ
Emilila nods again, her lips curving a bit, but quickly goes back to a frown as her hands shake more.
โAnd he always talks about his business?โ
Emilila lets out a small laugh, and my heart slows down a bit.
โWhatโs his business?โ
โH-he makes cardboard weapons.โ She said through a mix of a laugh and a sob.
โAnd corrects the teachers.โ She adds, taking a deep breath. She closes her eyes and wipes a few tears off her face.
โWhy don't we go home, alright?โ
She nods and I pull out of the parking lot and start on the road home, putting on a Broadway playlist. For the first time in a while, the drive home didn't feel so lonely. Itโs people who had never gotten along quite like they just did. Emilila and I.
Itโs a year later and god am I ready to turn 18.
Emilila has been moping around the house for about a month now because even if father is gone and Lacy takes care of both of us, sheโs definitely not ideal to take care of a 13-year-old. Though her basically living at the gym helped Emilila and I grow closer.
We got better at sticking together through her anxiety attacks and my anorexia.
Everything just feels so real now. Emilila has helped me build the reality I wanted. Itโs far from perfect, and definitely still has its problems, but itโs improved. And Emililaโs gonna have to quit her moping by next week. Iโve got a few surprises up my sleeve.
18 was probably my best birthday since like 3.
Emilila and I spent the entire day driving around blaring our Broadway playlist and belting our hearts out.
Itโs the end of the night and Emilila is in my room helping me pack.
I can tell sheโs holding in tears and Iโm struggling to hold in my surprise.
Once the last suitcase is zipped, Emilila starts to leave when I stop her and run over to my desk. I pull out a large yellow envelope and she looks at me, cocking her head.
โOpen it,โ I say, my smile growing. My heart flutters as her long fingers rip open the seal.
She glances up at me after a few seconds and I nod, uncontrolable excitement building in side of me.
Her hand reaches in and pulls out one of the many adoption papers that I had stuffed in there the other day.
Her blue eyes well with tears as she holds up the paper.
โIs this?โ
โAll you have to do is sign it.โ I say, wrapping my arms around her. As I hold her in my arms my life-with it's many struggles-feels put together.
I'm no longer trapped in the cage of numbers and sizes. No longer shoved down by words and insults.
Emilila had set me free.
And just hours later, we were finally together permanently. Itโs just us. Emilila and I.
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Hey there! Just checking in...You okay?
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Aw, you're so nice! Thanks for checking in! I'm doing ok, a little sad since many people are leaving, but I've been having a sort of me day so it's going ok:) How are you doing?
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If anythings going on-just talk to someone aight? 'Cuz I've been reading yours and Sapphires profile picture.
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Ok:) Yeah, there've been some things going on, but the crazy sisters have risen from the groundXD Thanks for asking and being here:)
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Aww-okay. I know I'm not the first person on your list to talk to (the last, most likely.) But still talk to anyone okay? Don't leaveee!
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It's always nice to know someone cares, and I promise I'll talk it out if I need to:) Thank you so much and I also promise I wont leaveee:))) Are you doing ok?
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I-
*whispers* It's so beautiful.....
This was such a great collab (like all your collabs) and I loved it so much!
I think the ending could've had more elaboration, you know, more emotion, but the last sentence is absolutely perfect. (don't you dare change it)
It was such a beautiful story filled to the rim with emotion I don't know how you manage to do it, to write so great! Once again Luna, spectacular job :)
(gah now whenever I type Luna I think of Lulu gosh)
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tank uuuuuuu
lol ok, I wont change the last line, but I will go back and fix the resttttt:)
thank youuuu Saphhh
hehe Lulu is gonna be my next name changeXDD
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Mhm :)
NO PROBLEMM!!!!
Oh crap XD
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FIRST STORY OUT!!!!!
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OMG CONGRATS!!!!!
I'll read it in a few minutes!!!!!!!
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Yay!
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part 4 out! Don't ask me how i write so fast :)
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jkhdfjkj I cant keep upppppppp
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XDDD Part 5 will defiantly be out this week....maybe even tomorrow XDDDD But if it doesn't happen tomorrow, it won't happen until Monday :) And take your time! No body is forcing you to read this right this second! I'm just alerting you that it's up :)
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XDDD I need it soonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn;)
lol I'm responding to this after reading it alreadyXDD They're too good, I cant waittttt
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XDDD
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Hi Luna! Wanna be in my friends clan?
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sure!! How does it work?
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We basically do reedsy cast stuff together, and I have cool quizzes I've been making where you can come up with cool names based off words you choose. I only have one so far, but I'll make more! And if anyone's getting bullied or downvoted you can reach out to other people in the clan and we'll spread the word.
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oooh ok! Couple questions:
1. By "reedsy cast stuff" do you mean we write them together or something else?
2. Do I have to put the name I get/make up using the words from the quiz thing in my reedsy name? And if I do, is that like all the time?
I think that's it, and this sounds like a really cool idea!!
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Basically, if I do a reedsy cast, you get the link first because I can reach you faster. Other people can still get in, but you're more likely to get it first. I had to look all over to find friends I wanted to be in my first, and it took a while, so I was hoping this could help us find friends to put in your stories.
I will make more name things, and you CAN put them in your Reedsy name, but you can ALSO put them in your bio. I'd suggest doing the fonts, so it doesn't get lowercased if you put it in your name. The name quizzes are gonna change sometime, though, so you can make a new one every week or so if you want to.
All you have to do is say that you're in my friends clan, which I haven't decided on naming yet: should it be Thorncry or Hidden Gem?
Thank you!!
By the way caps lock is because I can't do italics.
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oooh ok, that makes sense
ok! I'll probably switch between name and bio because sometimes I like just having the regular name, ya know?:)
ok! hmmm kdfhkj Idk I like bothhhhhhhh
Thanks for answering!!
lolXD
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Diamond Blade is posteddd!
(I made you set a painting of your tomato ex on fire) XDD
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yuktgvhbuguylgeaipgebKAIURBF;AIEUBGF
SO FREAKING EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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HEHEHEHEEHHE XDDDD
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part 2 out! (Legions of Legends)
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yay! I'll read it after school!!
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okay!
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This was soo cotton candy-y!
Ok, weird compliment, I know, but that means that this was soo sweet!XD
=)
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lol thank you!!!
:D
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Oh my gosh, Anson Seabra? I kind of just more discovered his music, and right now I love "the Dawning of Spring" by him!
Ok, Gotta read your story.
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Yes I love The Dawning of Spring! I also really like "Welcome to Wonderland", "Hurricane", and "Walked through Hell."
:)
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Thanks for the recommendations!!! How did you hear about him? Or is he more popular than I realize XD
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hmmm I dont remember? Maybe youtube? I think he's becoming more popular but not like crazy popular:)
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okay! (thumbs up) Gonna look one up :) .
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ok!
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Luna? You there?
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hehe sorry, my mom had to drag me away from my reedsy addiction for a few hours to go shoppingXDDD Everything alright?
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*this convo has been moved im pretty sure*
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k
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MARELLAA
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BIANAAAAAA
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WOOOP XD
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XDD
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lol-
THoFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
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it's struggling under my procrastination and writers block tbdXD
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I was looking through my followers and I saw Marella and I was like who is this? did I follow someone accidentally? But then of course I clicked on you and I was like ohhhhhh its still Luna. I personally like Keefe the most but Marella has some spunk.
Okay about the story. I thought it was really really sweet and so perfect! Another great story!
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yea, I feel like I'm always changing my nameXD I was lulu 20 minutes ago sooooooXD
I love Keefe, but Marella is probably one of my fav female characters, idk why, but I just like herXD
thanks Rachel!! I'm so glad you liked it!!
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I love the name lulu. Lulu and lola I lvoe those names.
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yea, they're really pretty:)
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Wait Nainika left? JUST NOW? SHE WAS ON MY PAGE....... :(
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yea:( She said she might come back, but it's not definite or anything:(((
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I checked it out, she said she'd be back someday.
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oh good:) She'll definitely be missed while she's gone tho:/
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Yeah.
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I really like this story. I could connect to what Emilia was saying when she was talking about how she gets lost in her own thoughts and convinces herself that she's gonna die. I always wonder right before I go to bed if I'm going to wake up the next morning in the same spot I went to bed in or wake up at all. You were the first person to fill out that form for the Reedsy cast story I am writing! I did forget to put one question though the question was gonna be "What's your character's hobby?" please answer that! I have a question about your character and it's totally fine if not but is it ok if your character is my character's younger sister? I have figured out what I want the story to be about and it's gonna be about how my character's sister goes missing. I know that it might seem like that means that your character won't be in the story that much, but in the story, there will have lots of flashbacks from before she went missing. If you want this could also kind of be like a collab where you could write Beatrice's POV. Again totally ok if you decide you don't want Beatrice to be my character's younger sister! -CJ
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thanks CJ! Glad you could relate to the character a little:)
now answers to your questions!
Hobby: Archery and horseback riding
I would be totally fine with Beatrice being your characters little sister! You're welcome to craft your story how ever you like and Bea will do what you tell her:) Thanks for including my character!!:D
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You're welcome!!! :DDDDDD
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hi luna!
i love this story, the emotion was felt really well throughout the whole thing. great job!
also, I wanna talk to someone XD
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hi!
aw thank youuuuu
glad you liked it!!!:)
sry this response is a little late, I was at practice:)
how are you doing? Anything fun going on? Or happening over the weekend?
Thanks for reading it!!:D
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oh ok :)
im writing a story and its ma cousins bday!
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oh cool!!
is the story for reedsy? Are you doing anything fun with your cousin to celebrate?
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yeha the story is :)
we're in the middle of the bday party rn
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oooh what prompt?
aw fun!!
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pls stay with me
D::::::::::
I hate when people leave :(
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you're not getting rid of me that easy, Celeste<3
I might take some brief breaks, a day or two at a time, but I'm not leaving permanently any time soon:)
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:D
YES
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:))))<33
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15th story!!! Yay!!!
This one was a little short but I had so much fun writing it!! Here's the link to Eleanor's side of the story: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/81/submissions/55713/
She's an amazing author and I had a lot of fun with this collab!
Ok a few notes!
1. THotF pt 3 will be out by hopefully this coming friday or the one after! If you want to be included in it let me know and I'll add you in!!
2. I need some feedbackkkkkkk!!!!! Feedback is the best way for an writer to grow so it's greatly appreciated!!
3. Thank you guys for all the support on my writing!! I've been a lot more active in the past few months and I've made so many amazing friends!!! I'm always open to talk, I love commenting with everyone:D And I'm always open for story recommendations!(reedsy stories or published books!!)
Thanks for reading!!
-Luna
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Seriously?, can I be a character?
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yessssssss lemme grab the questions
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Yeah! I wanna be an evil mastermind who always burns pizza.
Or something like that, I don't care much.
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XDDD That sounds like an interesting characterXD
here are the questions
Name(can be your pen name or a dif name):
Eye Color:
Hair(type color style):
Skin tone:
Power(magical):
Element:
Species(you can be human, just thought I'd throw it in):
Personality:
Clothes:
Weakness(not physical, so like jealousy or smth):
Weapon:
And then would you mind choosing a job at the castle?
There's guards, explorers, detective work, part of the royal family, or if you have another idea lmk and I can work it in!!:D
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WARNING: this is looooooong because I added โsomeโ additional info EVERYWHERE. Itโs all not needed actually, itโs better if you said less about this character, they are actually shady and all but what to do, I love character designing. Sorry!
AKHE
Name- Akhenelen Efer, or just Akhe. Even Akhe canโt remember the full name without some effort so it is never used, except by old spirits or prophesies or stuff like that. But the chance of Akheโs name getting into anything that sinister is just 0.001% and even if it does get into something like that, nobody will know that it was Akhe who was mentioned, because nobody, not even Akhe sometimes, can recognise Akheโs full name.
Eyes- wide, bolting, opaque black pupil, which looks like if itโs tracing every movement in the room, inside a lifeless, shrunken and dim eye. Eyelids are hooded, eyebrows are thick and really dark patches are there below the eyes [sorrrrrryyyy, I always drag out eye details!, sorry]
Hair- ear long, dark brown, rough, never-cared-about hair
Skin tone- Tan-turned-slightly-pale-because-of-sickness skin
Build- Average height, average skinniness, though is kinda strong for looking really flimsy.
Species- technically three quarter human, and one quarter โLornesseโ, which is a kind of eaglish hunterish rare supernatural animals. (I just invented a new species!). But nobody, with whom anybody in the castle can connect with, knows that fact, not even Akhe, so that information stays out. However, I said that there as a justification for Akheโs concentration, memory and really thick eyebrows.
Clothes- checked shirt, combat trousers and an overly washed and to the knees hoodie-jacket-cloak (hojacloak?, em, maybe) (ok, I admit, I AM NOT the fashion-person, so what?)
Job- Akhe is the cooksโ assistant who is banned in the kitchen because whatever Akhe makes is sure to burn. The actual job is to run around the ENORMOUS castle and ask EVERYONE what they want for breakfast, lunch, tea, or something else EVERYDAY. So, if you stay at the castle for at least one day, you are bound to meet Akhe, holding a long flimsy book and a absolutely weird pen, but donโt expect them to stay long. And because of meeting everyone in the castle Akhe is often asked to pass messages between people, and is always trusted. (Howโs my made up job? None of the others were uniquely mundane enough for me XD)
Powers- Very weak but hidden telepathy, means that can convey โunsaidโ messages but canโt read otherโs thoughts. Itโs also weird, ie. Akhe loves to use the powers simply but as nobody knows that Akhe is telepathic, you know, itโs weird, some think that they are going insane, some thinks that their inner selves is talking to them and the others think that the castle is haunted and the voice they are hearing belongs to the ghost. Akhe has also found a way to shield his mind from being read.
Element: Who knows? Akheโs powers are so weak, none of it shows up. Though Akhe โthinksโ that it is air.
Weapon: didnโt I say that Akhe has a weird pen?, well that thing can be turned into a cross between a hammer and sword (complete with little spikes). The hammer-sword thing is called a kaline (just imagine an almost hammer-head sitting on top of a sword with a non-pointy end) and is a very unpopular weapon. Akheโs mother, who is a half- Lornesse witch, gave this one to Akhe before she found an okay job for Akhe in the castle. The kaline Akhe has is made of increnise, also called black bronze, which โseemโ to have no magical properties but is REALLY heavy and also black. And guess what, Akhe has no idea how to use it. (Just a note; the names I am using here is just made up and is for fun, this is all just additional info and no need for anything to be used)
Hobbies- 1) collecting information, but Akhe too loyal to let that info slip 2) simply creating stupid arguments and love-interests in the castle by slyly using the telepathy powers. 3)Trying to increase his telepathy and perfecting an original attack which drains sanity, this attack is too energy-killing to be used in combat presently but once perfected can be used to startle, paralyse or kill the enemy. (ya, it can kill, Akhe accidently killed four prisoners while practicing it on them but, it took too much energy. Wait!, that info was not supposed to slip, but what to do now)
Weakness(es)- 1) Hesitates a lot, Akhe is a very good strategiser and planner but is hesitates too much to put it into action. 2) Kinda loyal to everyone, Akhe has got information from both the good guys and the bad guys and is also loyal to both of them. But that is the problem, nobody can prove if Akhe is really loyal. Also hates to take sides or help anyone, what if the other side turns against Akhe? 3) Loves to talk but hates to talk about themselves so usually stops conversations out of dread.
Personality: ok, ok, this field was actually filled up by me by giving the additional info.
So, bye, sorry about the additional info, tell me is something doesnโt work. Sorry.
Happy today.
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wowowwowowowwoww nice one. Interesting one. coolio one XD
i like how they bonded and decided to help each other out, that must be nice. There was not much descriptiveness but other than that, everything went so smoothly.
kjhgfghjkjhgghjhgjkjhvjkjhgghjjhv
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XDD
thanks!! yeah, I always find collabs a bit harder to describe...not sure why
I'm also rly bad at descriptions soooooo
thx for reading all of these!! Like I said before, it means a lot!!
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it happens, prolly cause collabs are action packed lol.
you're very welcome! It's a pleasure!
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haha yea
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yesh
How have you been?
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eh I've been ok:)
hbu?
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Hi there, Luna! I saw you (well, I hope it's you) did my creative form, so I wanted to say hi. So, HI! I saw your ranty bio, and honestly, I think I have found someone who matches my ranting powers, because, yes, I do it a lot. Anyway, onto your story. I really liked reading this story, it was nice to see Lexie was set free.
[I'm no longer trapped in the cage of numbers and sizes. No longer shoved down by words and insults.] That was my favourite part. Amazing work! :D
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Hi!!!
lol ranty powers ruleeeeeeeeeeeeee
that's probably one of my fav lines too. Thank you for reading and it was nice to talk to/meet you!!
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:D
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Hello!, have you disappeared from the face of earth or something?
(em, let me guess, on an unexpected vacation to Mars? To Jupiter's moons? Saturn's rings?)
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XDD I might have. Been a bit of a uh lazy week you could say so I'm gonna speed write today on my flight to my cousins houseXD
oooh Mars sounds a lot more fun then just my bedroomXDD
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yaa, like there is nothing sinister than boredom
right now
i am bored to death
i am bored to death
Arh, i am bored to Afterlife!
XD
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ikkkkkkkkkkkkXD
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are you working on ANYTHING right now?
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Lol I working on pt 3 of THotF a stand-alone for one of the prompts and a collab with Sia:D
Wbu
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