Lurking In The Shadows

Submitted into Contest #102 in response to: Write about a mysterious figure in one’s neighborhood.... view prompt

316 comments

Adventure Crime Drama

"Who's that?"




"Who's who?"




"That person."




"Which person?"




"THAT ONE!"




"Which one?"




"Oh come on! You can't even see this person? It's shadow is

large as the silhouette of an elephant!"




"The silho... WHAT?!"




"The silhouette...the shadow."




"Oh...No. Wait."




"Wait what?"




"Wait, I forgot my glasses. I am as good as blind without

them."




"Ok."




There's a silence.




Akanksha looks up at her twin, Akash. He hasn't budged. She

says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING HERE? Go! Get your glasses."




"Oh! Sorry. I thought you wanted me to stay with you."




"What is the use of you staying with me here if you can't

even see?"




"You're right."




"Thank you. Now please, GET YOUR GLASSES."




"Okay-okay. I am going."




Akanksha sighs. It had always been like this. Though they were

twins and were supposed to be 'identical', Akash had always been the mindless

one, while she was the witty counterpart.




Finally, Akash returned. He carried a pair of glasses. 




"Now, can you see? That person has been standing there for

about ten minutes now. Don't know what they want, though."




"Wait a minute, Akanksha, I am still cleaning them."




"Well, do it fast. The person is moving, and I am pretty

sure that they're coming towards us."




"Great! Finalement, I can finally see. Oh! This person is

huge. I can't believe they are standing in this alley for ten minutes, how do

they even fit in here?" Akash had a habit of speaking some words in French

every now and then. It was like a secret language that only Akanksha could

understand.




"You're really caring about the size of this person?"




"What else do you want me to care about? It's not like I

know him."




"Okay, now it's official, you're way too naive for this

world. I mean, don't you get it - THAT PERSON IS LURKING IN THE SHADOWS FOR THE

PAST FIFTEEN MINUTES AND THEY ARE MOVING TOWARDS US EVERY SECOND."



"Oh yes! Now I understand. Couldn't tell me earlier?"



"I was saying this from the start."



"Okay. Let's forget all this and focus on this person. Who is it? What are they doing here?"



"I think it's a guy."



"How can you say that, Akanksha?"



"Look how he is walking. Also, his dressing sense from here is looking like the how a boy dresses."



"Yeah...now that you say, even I think that he is a boy. What does he want?" Akash said, squinting his eyes, "I can barely see in this dark. How come you can notice every single detail and I can't?"



"Oh my little brother," Akanksha started to explain, but in his mind, Akash said, 'Only by a minute and a half.'



His sister continued, "You are wearing your glasses to improve your vision, but my eyes are as good as the world's finest binoculars. I can see things tres clear."



"Okay."



While they were talking, the shadow just disappeared from their sight and was nowhere to be seen now. As their bedtime was approaching, the twins decided to go to sleep and think about the whole affair in the morning.



"Ow! Ow! Ow! What's this in my eye?"



"What are you talking about Akash? Yoo were sleeping. There is nothing that can get into your eyes when they are closed."



"Yes, b-but."



"Nevermind. Now I'm up. Let's get ready."



"Ready for what, Akanksha?"



"Ready for keeping an eye on the shadow from last night."



"How do you know if he's still here?"



"I don't know it, Akash. I feel it in my guts. Something's about to happen. Something interesting."



"Oh! I love interesting. Let's go. Oh my! Why are these pyjamas not coming off of my legs. Have I grown fat overnight? Akanksha, do I look fat?"



"No silly, you are trying to pull down your shirt again." Akanksha said with a sigh from the other side of the washroom door.



A few hours later, the twins went out to the balcony again. Same as before, they saw a person lurking in the shadows.



This continued happening for several days before Akanksha said, "I've had enough. I am going to get out there and check who this person is and what does he want with Mr. Patel's house"

July 17, 2021 03:51

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316 comments

13:25 Jul 19, 2021

Loved this story so much! It got me hooked from the beginning and the dialogue is great! This was so funny! If you want, you should definitely do a second part to this. I'd love to see what happened with the shadow. Can't wait to read more of your stories! Great writing!

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Dhwani Jain
13:29 Jul 19, 2021

Thanks Bella! This is actually in-the-making. So, there will not be any further parts of it, but I'll definitely update this when I'm done writing. That's really kind of you! :)

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14:10 Jul 19, 2021

Okay! :)

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14:10 Jul 19, 2021

Okay! :) Can't wait to read the updated parts!

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Dhwani Jain
16:41 Jul 19, 2021

Thanks!

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23:47 Jul 21, 2021

Hi- would you mind taking a look and maybe giving me critique on my new story, titled "The Alive Museum"?

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Dhwani Jain
06:30 Jul 22, 2021

Sure! I'll get to it soon. I'll give you the in-depth critique, okay?

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Dhwani Jain
10:25 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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22:02 Aug 19, 2021

kk! Getting to it as fast as I can. . . :D

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Dhwani Jain
04:16 Aug 20, 2021

Yeah

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Dhwani Jain
07:11 Aug 20, 2021

Join me here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l1H9SUk-Z4VvSKhPYAV_z1kZJLRN9UgmdaxXxKii_TM/edit?usp=sharing

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21:27 Aug 01, 2021

this was really good! The relationship between the twins was realistic from what I've seen and I think you did great with the characters in this story. There were a few minor errors, just some spelling and stuff like that. This felt a little vague like we didn't have enough information and we were skipping over some parts. I read in the comments that you werent gonna do a part two but I hope you'll keep adding on because I'm hooked to see who this shadow person is!! Great job and cant wait to read your future stories!

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Dhwani Jain
02:49 Aug 02, 2021

Thanks Lunana (lol, I find it funny everytime!!!!) Yeah, I was aiming for that only. Cool! On popular request, I WILL be coming up with a second part soon.

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11:44 Aug 02, 2021

lollll omg yayyyy!!!! please let me know when pt 2 is out! Cant wait to read it!!! <3

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Dhwani Jain
11:56 Aug 02, 2021

Thank you Luna! Will do!!!

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Dhwani Jain
13:53 Aug 18, 2021

Bio updated

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Dhwani Jain
10:25 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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20:48 Aug 21, 2021

ooh ok, I'll check it out soon!

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23:24 Jul 27, 2021

This was so much fun to read! Funny too XD I loved the dialogue! Will there be another part to this story? I really want to see what happens next! :D 🐈‍⬛

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Dhwani Jain
02:52 Jul 28, 2021

Thanks! XD Yeah, I am planning on another part.... I like your sign off....

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11:54 Jul 28, 2021

No problem! :)) Yay, can’t wait to read it! Lol thanks :D

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Dhwani Jain
12:32 Jul 28, 2021

Hey, I got a new blogpost....get it's link in my bio! Will love to see your comment there!

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15:28 Jul 28, 2021

Cool! I’ll check it out! :)))

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Dhwani Jain
15:50 Jul 28, 2021

How did you like it?

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Dhwani Jain
10:25 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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22:28 Aug 19, 2021

Great! Reading it now :D

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Dhwani Jain
04:17 Aug 20, 2021

Thanks =D

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TJ Squared
01:13 Jul 19, 2021

XDDDD nice short one lol. despite it's length, it was actually very comical lololoolol

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Dhwani Jain
03:13 Jul 19, 2021

Yeah...it is actually in progress. Will complete it soon!

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TJ Squared
03:22 Jul 19, 2021

Coolio :D

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Dhwani Jain
03:24 Jul 19, 2021

How have you been this past week?

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TJ Squared
04:01 Jul 19, 2021

Doing pretty well, hbu?

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Dhwani Jain
04:04 Jul 19, 2021

Good (as far as I can think of....). The week went by pretty fast...

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Palak Shah
17:35 Jul 17, 2021

Nice sweet story :)) I have just looked at your bio and its great :)))

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Dhwani Jain
10:14 Jul 18, 2021

Thanks Actually, I am still working on this story. Will update the full story soon!

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Palak Shah
13:26 Jul 18, 2021

That's nice :))

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Dhwani Jain
13:29 Jul 18, 2021

Aap kaise ho?

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Palak Shah
13:31 Jul 18, 2021

I am good. How about you? Sorry, I am not very good at writing Hindi and I spell it wrong most of the time nevertheless I am able to understand it perfectly lol :))

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Dhwani Jain
13:35 Jul 18, 2021

Nice. I am great too! No problem...at least you understood it. Fun Fact: Most of us Indians too don't know the 'correct' spellings of most of the Hinglish words. Also, I read your bio and I want to brag something (which is allowed, I guess?)

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Dhwani Jain
10:25 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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Palak Shah
08:57 Aug 21, 2021

I am coming over right now :))

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Palak Shah
08:57 Aug 21, 2021

Also I like the new nickname for you so it is a yes from meeeeeeee

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Hey Dhwani! How are you in India? Is covid bad there?

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Dhwani Jain
03:14 Aug 05, 2021

Hey! I am good. Yeah, I don't really know. It is like going down and coming back up again and again. To be really honest, I don't really 'watch' news anymore 'cause it is so depressing and monotonous..... What about in your country?

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Palak Shah
08:51 Aug 04, 2021

I have just upvoted you :)))

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Dhwani Jain
08:56 Aug 04, 2021

Ah! There was no need for it, really. I had just asked to restore back the points that I had. Now that they're back, I am all good!

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Palak Shah
08:42 Aug 05, 2021

Oh okay that's great :))

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Dhwani Jain
10:32 Aug 05, 2021

Yup!

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Give me my teddy!

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Dhwani Jain
02:48 Aug 04, 2021

I am sorry, but I didn't get any of your previous single-line comments.....

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I want it in halves!

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Dhwani Jain
02:48 Aug 04, 2021

Did I miss something?

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Wheres my bologna sandwich, mommy!?

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Dhwani Jain
02:47 Aug 04, 2021

What's going on?

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Feed me. Me hungry. Me want food.

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Dhwani Jain
02:47 Aug 04, 2021

Huh?

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Dhwani Jain
14:55 Aug 04, 2021

What are you saying/doing?

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Constantly reloading until I see the yellow dot in the right top corner.

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Dhwani Jain
15:03 Aug 04, 2021

Oh no no... I meant why did you send me these random messages here?

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Hey Dhwani! Congrats on making it on the leaderboard!

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Dhwani Jain
03:22 Aug 03, 2021

Thanks! But that wasn't THAT good, 'cause I was downvoted (like, a lot.) Rn, I am even afraid to check my Karma.

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Haha! Ever since I knew you were on reedsy I wondered how you had 17 stories and over 1,500 karma points. Then I looked in your comments and realized you had over 1,400 comments!

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Dhwani Jain
02:46 Aug 04, 2021

Haha yeesh. that's funny, 'cause I am a very talkative person on the internet and I have found really talkative people here too......

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Is it Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney?

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Dhwani Jain
05:04 Jul 31, 2021

Yeah, but it's P. Sherman.... I'll give you the point

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This story was great! I loved how you used the dialogue. This was one of the funniest stories I have read on Reedsy so far. I wish I could know what happened with the shadow! I love your writing so much. -Breckin N. ;)

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Dhwani Jain
02:58 Jul 28, 2021

Thanks a lot! XD Of course, I am still working on Part 2! Where are you from? You are too kind. If you want to check more of my writing, you can go and visit my blog: www.djdhwanijain.wordpress.com !!! {waiting for your comments there!}

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Ok! Also, I am from CA

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Dhwani Jain
14:03 Jul 30, 2021

Cool!

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Yeah. Where are you from?

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Dhwani Jain
15:06 Jul 30, 2021

I'm from India.... :)

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Hey Dhwani! I was wondering if you could check out one of my storys. If you want, can you check out Lost and Open Road, Here We Come? Those are my favorites! Can you give me some deep critique on one of those. I'd love it if you could! -Breckin N. ;)

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Dhwani Jain
15:27 Jul 30, 2021

Sure, I'll get to them soon! (probably the day after tomorrow....you don't mind, right?)

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Nope! Don't mind at all!

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Dhwani Jain
15:31 Jul 30, 2021

Nice.... I am sorry, I am not familiar with your name....What does it mean? {P.S: You're name's really cool, BTW}

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Dhwani Jain
10:26 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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Eliza Entwistle
16:54 Jul 27, 2021

Hey, tell as many people as you can that Reedsy's updating this Thursday-Friday and to remember your password, because after it updates you'll need to know it to prove it's you, and we don't want people getting locked out

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Dhwani Jain
02:50 Jul 28, 2021

Hey, It was me who told you this XD Thanks anyways.... ;)

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Eliza Entwistle
03:27 Jul 28, 2021

Lol someone else sent it to me also and I guess I forgot...

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Dhwani Jain
05:11 Aug 01, 2021

I HAVE BEEN DOWNVOTED!!!!!!! I HAD ABOUT 1100+ POINTS, AND NOW I AM LEFT AT 660+.... PLEASE HELP ME, MY REEDSY FRIENDS STOP DOWNVOTING NOW!!!!!

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Dhwani Jain
03:57 Jul 28, 2021

Cool!

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Dhwani Jain
13:54 Aug 18, 2021

Bio updated

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Eliza Entwistle
18:39 Jul 26, 2021

I love the dialogue and the personalities of the twins - I have a brother and our conversations are similar ;) Can't wait to see what happens with the shadow!

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Dhwani Jain
03:06 Jul 27, 2021

Haha! Whoa! I can't believe that I finally got the dialogues thing right! Sure, I will get to the second part soon!

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Dhwani Jain
10:26 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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Moon Fox
12:35 Jul 26, 2021

I liked how you formatted it, and the character conflict was marvelous. Maybe add what happens? In another prompt. ;)

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Dhwani Jain
12:35 Jul 26, 2021

Thanks...yeah, it is in the making only....

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Dhwani Jain
13:54 Aug 18, 2021

Bio updated

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Dhwani Jain
10:26 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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Moon Fox
12:33 Jul 26, 2021

Pretty cool!

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Dhwani Jain
12:34 Jul 26, 2021

Thanks!

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Dhwani Jain
10:26 Aug 19, 2021

New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.

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Svara Narasiah
10:11 Jul 26, 2021

Funny and entertaining :) good job. You did say “yoo” instead of “you” in one part but other than that it was great

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Dhwani Jain
10:14 Jul 26, 2021

Thanks Oh my! XD Will get to it and change it right away

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Svara Narasiah
10:16 Jul 26, 2021

:)

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Dhwani Jain
10:17 Jul 26, 2021

You can check out my bio, it has a form, two quizzes and a lot of other things.... :)

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Svara Narasiah
10:18 Jul 26, 2021

Sure

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Dhwani Jain
10:19 Jul 26, 2021

Any other story of yours you want me to read?

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Svara Narasiah
10:21 Jul 26, 2021

Hmmm… I can’t figure out the song, is the Disney character Cruella? Not very familiar with these 😝 Would you mind giving me an in-depth review on my story The Violin in the Grave? :D

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Dhwani Jain
10:22 Jul 26, 2021

Nope....and no again. XD Sure, will get to it soon!

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Eliza Entwistle
23:14 Jul 25, 2021

Hi! Could you please write a review on my story “The Mind Game”?

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Dhwani Jain
03:01 Jul 26, 2021

Sure, I'll get to it whenever I can.

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Eliza Entwistle
03:04 Jul 26, 2021

Thanks :)

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