"Who's that?"
"Who's who?"
"That person."
"Which person?"
"THAT ONE!"
"Which one?"
"Oh come on! You can't even see this person? It's shadow is
large as the silhouette of an elephant!"
"The silho... WHAT?!"
"The silhouette...the shadow."
"Oh...No. Wait."
"Wait what?"
"Wait, I forgot my glasses. I am as good as blind without
them."
"Ok."
There's a silence.
Akanksha looks up at her twin, Akash. He hasn't budged. She
says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING HERE? Go! Get your glasses."
"Oh! Sorry. I thought you wanted me to stay with you."
"What is the use of you staying with me here if you can't
even see?"
"You're right."
"Thank you. Now please, GET YOUR GLASSES."
"Okay-okay. I am going."
Akanksha sighs. It had always been like this. Though they were
twins and were supposed to be 'identical', Akash had always been the mindless
one, while she was the witty counterpart.
Finally, Akash returned. He carried a pair of glasses.
"Now, can you see? That person has been standing there for
about ten minutes now. Don't know what they want, though."
"Wait a minute, Akanksha, I am still cleaning them."
"Well, do it fast. The person is moving, and I am pretty
sure that they're coming towards us."
"Great! Finalement, I can finally see. Oh! This person is
huge. I can't believe they are standing in this alley for ten minutes, how do
they even fit in here?" Akash had a habit of speaking some words in French
every now and then. It was like a secret language that only Akanksha could
understand.
"You're really caring about the size of this person?"
"What else do you want me to care about? It's not like I
know him."
"Okay, now it's official, you're way too naive for this
world. I mean, don't you get it - THAT PERSON IS LURKING IN THE SHADOWS FOR THE
PAST FIFTEEN MINUTES AND THEY ARE MOVING TOWARDS US EVERY SECOND."
"Oh yes! Now I understand. Couldn't tell me earlier?"
"I was saying this from the start."
"Okay. Let's forget all this and focus on this person. Who is it? What are they doing here?"
"I think it's a guy."
"How can you say that, Akanksha?"
"Look how he is walking. Also, his dressing sense from here is looking like the how a boy dresses."
"Yeah...now that you say, even I think that he is a boy. What does he want?" Akash said, squinting his eyes, "I can barely see in this dark. How come you can notice every single detail and I can't?"
"Oh my little brother," Akanksha started to explain, but in his mind, Akash said, 'Only by a minute and a half.'
His sister continued, "You are wearing your glasses to improve your vision, but my eyes are as good as the world's finest binoculars. I can see things tres clear."
"Okay."
While they were talking, the shadow just disappeared from their sight and was nowhere to be seen now. As their bedtime was approaching, the twins decided to go to sleep and think about the whole affair in the morning.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! What's this in my eye?"
"What are you talking about Akash? Yoo were sleeping. There is nothing that can get into your eyes when they are closed."
"Yes, b-but."
"Nevermind. Now I'm up. Let's get ready."
"Ready for what, Akanksha?"
"Ready for keeping an eye on the shadow from last night."
"How do you know if he's still here?"
"I don't know it, Akash. I feel it in my guts. Something's about to happen. Something interesting."
"Oh! I love interesting. Let's go. Oh my! Why are these pyjamas not coming off of my legs. Have I grown fat overnight? Akanksha, do I look fat?"
"No silly, you are trying to pull down your shirt again." Akanksha said with a sigh from the other side of the washroom door.
A few hours later, the twins went out to the balcony again. Same as before, they saw a person lurking in the shadows.
This continued happening for several days before Akanksha said, "I've had enough. I am going to get out there and check who this person is and what does he want with Mr. Patel's house"
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316 comments
Loved this story so much! It got me hooked from the beginning and the dialogue is great! This was so funny! If you want, you should definitely do a second part to this. I'd love to see what happened with the shadow. Can't wait to read more of your stories! Great writing!
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Thanks Bella! This is actually in-the-making. So, there will not be any further parts of it, but I'll definitely update this when I'm done writing. That's really kind of you! :)
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Okay! :)
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Okay! :) Can't wait to read the updated parts!
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Thanks!
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Hi- would you mind taking a look and maybe giving me critique on my new story, titled "The Alive Museum"?
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Sure! I'll get to it soon. I'll give you the in-depth critique, okay?
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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kk! Getting to it as fast as I can. . . :D
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Yeah
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Join me here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l1H9SUk-Z4VvSKhPYAV_z1kZJLRN9UgmdaxXxKii_TM/edit?usp=sharing
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this was really good! The relationship between the twins was realistic from what I've seen and I think you did great with the characters in this story. There were a few minor errors, just some spelling and stuff like that. This felt a little vague like we didn't have enough information and we were skipping over some parts. I read in the comments that you werent gonna do a part two but I hope you'll keep adding on because I'm hooked to see who this shadow person is!! Great job and cant wait to read your future stories!
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Thanks Lunana (lol, I find it funny everytime!!!!) Yeah, I was aiming for that only. Cool! On popular request, I WILL be coming up with a second part soon.
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lollll omg yayyyy!!!! please let me know when pt 2 is out! Cant wait to read it!!! <3
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Thank you Luna! Will do!!!
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Bio updated
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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ooh ok, I'll check it out soon!
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This was so much fun to read! Funny too XD I loved the dialogue! Will there be another part to this story? I really want to see what happens next! :D 🐈⬛
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Thanks! XD Yeah, I am planning on another part.... I like your sign off....
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No problem! :)) Yay, can’t wait to read it! Lol thanks :D
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Hey, I got a new blogpost....get it's link in my bio! Will love to see your comment there!
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Cool! I’ll check it out! :)))
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How did you like it?
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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Great! Reading it now :D
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Thanks =D
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XDDDD nice short one lol. despite it's length, it was actually very comical lololoolol
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Yeah...it is actually in progress. Will complete it soon!
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Coolio :D
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How have you been this past week?
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Doing pretty well, hbu?
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Good (as far as I can think of....). The week went by pretty fast...
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Nice sweet story :)) I have just looked at your bio and its great :)))
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Thanks Actually, I am still working on this story. Will update the full story soon!
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That's nice :))
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Aap kaise ho?
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I am good. How about you? Sorry, I am not very good at writing Hindi and I spell it wrong most of the time nevertheless I am able to understand it perfectly lol :))
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Nice. I am great too! No problem...at least you understood it. Fun Fact: Most of us Indians too don't know the 'correct' spellings of most of the Hinglish words. Also, I read your bio and I want to brag something (which is allowed, I guess?)
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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I am coming over right now :))
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Also I like the new nickname for you so it is a yes from meeeeeeee
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Hey Dhwani! How are you in India? Is covid bad there?
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Hey! I am good. Yeah, I don't really know. It is like going down and coming back up again and again. To be really honest, I don't really 'watch' news anymore 'cause it is so depressing and monotonous..... What about in your country?
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I have just upvoted you :)))
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Ah! There was no need for it, really. I had just asked to restore back the points that I had. Now that they're back, I am all good!
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Oh okay that's great :))
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Yup!
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Give me my teddy!
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I am sorry, but I didn't get any of your previous single-line comments.....
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I want it in halves!
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Did I miss something?
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Wheres my bologna sandwich, mommy!?
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What's going on?
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Feed me. Me hungry. Me want food.
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Huh?
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Hehe.
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What are you saying/doing?
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Constantly reloading until I see the yellow dot in the right top corner.
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Oh no no... I meant why did you send me these random messages here?
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Hey Dhwani! Congrats on making it on the leaderboard!
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Thanks! But that wasn't THAT good, 'cause I was downvoted (like, a lot.) Rn, I am even afraid to check my Karma.
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Haha! Ever since I knew you were on reedsy I wondered how you had 17 stories and over 1,500 karma points. Then I looked in your comments and realized you had over 1,400 comments!
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Haha yeesh. that's funny, 'cause I am a very talkative person on the internet and I have found really talkative people here too......
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Is it Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney?
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Yeah, but it's P. Sherman.... I'll give you the point
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This story was great! I loved how you used the dialogue. This was one of the funniest stories I have read on Reedsy so far. I wish I could know what happened with the shadow! I love your writing so much. -Breckin N. ;)
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Thanks a lot! XD Of course, I am still working on Part 2! Where are you from? You are too kind. If you want to check more of my writing, you can go and visit my blog: www.djdhwanijain.wordpress.com !!! {waiting for your comments there!}
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Ok! Also, I am from CA
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Cool!
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Yeah. Where are you from?
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I'm from India.... :)
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Hey Dhwani! I was wondering if you could check out one of my storys. If you want, can you check out Lost and Open Road, Here We Come? Those are my favorites! Can you give me some deep critique on one of those. I'd love it if you could! -Breckin N. ;)
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Sure, I'll get to them soon! (probably the day after tomorrow....you don't mind, right?)
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Nope! Don't mind at all!
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Nice.... I am sorry, I am not familiar with your name....What does it mean? {P.S: You're name's really cool, BTW}
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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Hey, tell as many people as you can that Reedsy's updating this Thursday-Friday and to remember your password, because after it updates you'll need to know it to prove it's you, and we don't want people getting locked out
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Hey, It was me who told you this XD Thanks anyways.... ;)
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Lol someone else sent it to me also and I guess I forgot...
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I HAVE BEEN DOWNVOTED!!!!!!! I HAD ABOUT 1100+ POINTS, AND NOW I AM LEFT AT 660+.... PLEASE HELP ME, MY REEDSY FRIENDS STOP DOWNVOTING NOW!!!!!
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Cool!
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Bio updated
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I love the dialogue and the personalities of the twins - I have a brother and our conversations are similar ;) Can't wait to see what happens with the shadow!
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Haha! Whoa! I can't believe that I finally got the dialogues thing right! Sure, I will get to the second part soon!
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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I liked how you formatted it, and the character conflict was marvelous. Maybe add what happens? In another prompt. ;)
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Thanks...yeah, it is in the making only....
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Bio updated
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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Pretty cool!
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Thanks!
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New story! If you like this one, you'll LOVE that.
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Funny and entertaining :) good job. You did say “yoo” instead of “you” in one part but other than that it was great
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Thanks Oh my! XD Will get to it and change it right away
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:)
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You can check out my bio, it has a form, two quizzes and a lot of other things.... :)
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Sure
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Any other story of yours you want me to read?
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Hmmm… I can’t figure out the song, is the Disney character Cruella? Not very familiar with these 😝 Would you mind giving me an in-depth review on my story The Violin in the Grave? :D
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Nope....and no again. XD Sure, will get to it soon!
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Hi! Could you please write a review on my story “The Mind Game”?
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Sure, I'll get to it whenever I can.
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Thanks :)
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