I peer into the clearing through the thick foliage of the forest floor. The decaying leaves below me are wet and soften my shifting as I stretch my body up to get a closer look. I inhale, the humid atmosphere tastes like rain on my tongue. I’ve been waiting here for hours. I’ve watched the forest go from warm gold to cool blue around me as the sunset, all the plants seeming to morph into one as the light shrank back into the heavens. It’s midnight now, the clearing provides the only ground the moonlight touches enough to count as light. They should be arriving soon, I’ve tracked them here.
My targets are called Soul-Catchers, they are beginnings shrouded in blood-red robes and masks of black that seek out and capture living souls. They leave the bodies behind to harden into living statues that die of thirst or are eaten, unable to move, to care for, or defend themselves. Two passed through my town yesterday and attacked the Palace.
No one knows why they take souls; some have theorized that they are the Catcher’s energy supply or food source, others have said it grants them eternal youth. In the end, it doesn’t matter why, only that we lose the ones we love.
I am just about to rise to stretch my aching legs when, finally, through the trees opposite me, I see them. Two figures shrouded in robes of rich red emerge side by side, from the forest into the clearing. I duck down, flat against the ground, and press myself into the earth before I can be spotted. They’re here. I wait for what seems like forever before I allow myself to rise. I don’t dare breathe.
One is kneeled, hovering over the ground, and tracing something in a clear patch. They’re summoning a door. The door leads to a realm where captured souls reside.
The ground around where the Catcher drew begins to glow a faint blue, A soul is tossed in, the soul I’m after.
I ready myself, shifting into a crouch that will propel me forward into the realm. I try not to think about how this will be my last time feeling the earth beneath my feet. Or the last time I will breathe real air and feel the coolness of night on my skin. I said my last goodbyes last night to the last people I will ever see. They don’t know it was the last time. The one hundred and fifty thousand penn prize will keep my family in comfort for many years but, I won’t be there with them. I’ll be trapped, a soul in the catcher’s realm.
I’m trading my life to retrieve the captured daughter of the King. He’s promised my family freedom from servitude, the penns, and a place in court for my older brother if his daughter’s soul is returned safely. I should feel grief at the loss of my life at only twenty-three but, I can only smile when I imagine my little sister, only twelve, learning to read, taught by a proper tutor. And my mother and father, able to spend the rest of their lives lying on soft beds, eating good food, and seeing their grandchildren grow up to be healthy adults. I am extremely lucky, I think, to be given this opportunity.
Once I’m inside, I’ll have only until midnight tomorrow, when the door closes, to retrieve Princess Anika and trade her soul for mine. If I don’t, both of our souls will be tethered to the realm forever.
As I propel myself forward, I see a flash out of the corner of my eye. A figure races by, charging toward the door. I realize, in horror, that they intend to go through. They shout something to me which alerts the Catchers.
I was hoping to catch them by surprise. That’s no longer an option. But I have to do it. I race for the door, extremely aware of the weapons pointed at me but not caring. An arrow whizzes past me and I almost stumble, the thought of losing keeps me balanced. I lob a rock I’d been holding at one of their heads as he tries to grab my arm. It hits and allows me precious seconds to jump, without a second thought, into the door.
-
I am surrounded by blackness. I reach out and my hand greets nothing, it’s like being in the night sky. Then, slowly, colors and fuzzy shapes start to appear. Piece by piece the landscape forms until I find myself lying flat on my back, staring up at a blood-red sky. I’m here…
I rise to my feet and look around. The land around me is barren, the red of the sky has morphed any natural colors into red-tinged blacks and browns. The landscape is anything but flat. I stand at the top of one of many rolling hills that culminate in a tall mountain range along the horizon. There’s no life that I can see, just tall hills covered in rocks. I see rivers running through the dips in the hills, but I doubt they contain any real water.
That’s when I remember my cover blower and look around to see if they made it. I spot them lying on the ground a few feet away and race over to confront them.
“What the hell! You almost got me killed out there!”
“Huh…?” they groan. It’s a girl, roughly my age with tied back black hair and a single satchel. She looks dazed.
I decide she’s not worth my time, I’ve already wasted enough coming out of the darkness. I’m about to turn away when she says;
“I’m sorry…you just…” her voice is meek; she might be a little younger than me by the sound of it.
I sigh, “It doesn’t matter, I’m here now.” I start to walk away again but she grabs my arm. My reflexes kick in and I twist out of her grip before shoving her down again. She hits her head and groans.
I just grit my teeth and move away again to turn my attention to the land. There’s a faint whiteish glow coming from over several hills. That’s where the souls are.
I get halfway down the hill before I realize she’s following me too close to just be going in the same direction, and stop, “What do you want?”
She just shrugs, she probably wants to go together. Is that such a bad idea?
I scan her, she’s short, not very strong looking so probably not a very fast runner or fighter. And she’s another soul in this place to trade…hope fills my heart. I could trade her instead, I could leave with the princess and make it back to my family.
“Alright fine.” I snap, pretending to be unwilling “You can come with me, but don’t expect me to help you find whoever you’re looking for.”
“O-Okay.” She agrees and takes a place beside me.
We walk in silence. I can’t believe my luck. She may have almost gotten me killed but, this naïve girl is the key to being with my family again.
After a while she introduces herself as Kathrine and asks my name “Nola” I respond, breathing heavily as we climb uphill, wind rushing around us.
It’s a steep one, mostly rough and unstable rocks, I try and stick to the big ones. It’s still climbable but my arms are aching halfway up it. Suddenly, I hear a high-pitched scream and the clattering of rocks coming loose. My arms go out and catch hers. It’s a real yank but, I’m anchored by my grip on a heavy bolder.
She just manages to grip mine back and I pull her, with all of my energy, up to a stable place on the pile. She looks shell shocked, tears welling in her eyes. She’s definitely younger than me, sixteen or seventeen. We don’t have time to stop but I know that she isn’t going anywhere after that. I need to calm her down.
I use a technique my older sister used when I used to get yelled at by higher-ranking servants, distraction.
“Why are you here?” I ask. I try to sound as patient as possible. If she wasn’t so important, I’d leave her here.
Through tears, she shakily roots through her satchel for a picture of a young boy,
“M-My brother, Sage…H-He’s five…caught last night…he’s the only family I’ve got…”
Sage…that name sounds familiar. Come to think of it, so does Kathrine’s.
“Are you…from the Palace?”
She nods “W-We both are…we’re servants.”
“You followed me here, didn’t you?” this time, my impatience shows. She probably doesn’t know that no soul can leave after being captured without a sacrifice, balance must remain.
“I did...” she admits after a long beat, “I heard about your plan and just thought”
“That you’d come along?”
She nods again.
Stupid girl. I sigh and get to my feet “Get up, we don’t have much time.”
She scrambles to her feet and hulls her bag over her shoulder awkwardly, it’s obviously too heavy for her. I offer to take it to speed us up and she accepts
We scale the hill; she only loses her foot once more. At the top, she collapses, chest heaving. At this rate, we’ll never get there in time. I urge her on again and, after several wasted minutes, we continue.
-
We watch the sky go from blood red to deep pink as we climb. Around us, the land seems to brighten. The rocks show a greyer hue and the wind, once harsh, becomes a breeze. This is taking too long.
“You have to keep up,” I say. We’re almost there, only two more hills to go but I can tell she’s fading.
“I-I can’t…I…”
“Yes you can,” I urge, the annoyance clear in my tone. Even I feel exhausted but, I’m strong enough to keep my head high. “Think about something you like, a happy memory.”
“What…?”
“Your brother, think about him and how good it’ll be to be home with him again.” Saying that makes my stomach twist. It’s her fault, I have to remind myself, she chose this fate, it’s not my fault.
She smiles “he likes to watch me help in the kitchen. Sometimes I sneak him cookies.”
My stomach does another flip, I see a memory of my sister and I working side by side on bread for a royal feast. I shake the image away. I don’t know this girl; I owe her nothing. If she truly has no family then she’s as good a sacrifice as I can get.
“Is something wrong?” she asks.
“No, keep talking, It’ll pass the time.”
-
After the next hill, we have to stop. She simply can’t keep up and my legs are wobbly. A stone’s sharp edge has caught and ripped my shirt and my hands are littered with little cuts. We stop on the bank of one of the rivers. I was right about it. I have no idea what flows there but it’s not water.
I let her sleep for a little, thankful for the reason to rest for longer than five minutes but anxious about it nonetheless. Worse yet, my mind wanders to things I’ve been trying to forget about.
I’ve never been someone to get close to anyone. I had my family, that was it. I didn’t make friends because people were unpredictable. They either got transferred to another part of the Palace or…sent away. I assumed to die but, I wasn’t sure. It was by sheer luck that I’d had the opportunity to leave the kitchens to become a part of the King’s personal guard and earn a real wage, though not enough to feed more than myself. Making friends was even more of an impossibility there, the men and women didn’t always last long. So, whatever I’m feeling for this girl now…is new to me.
Guilt crawls up the back of my spine like spiders, I hate it.
I wait for what my best guess of an hour is before waking her. She’s still exhausted, so am I but we must carry on. The sky, a pale pink by now, helps to encourage me along.
-
We make it when the sky is almost white. It’s barren, still a wasteland. Shallow, glowing holes pocket flat, rocky earth for at least a mile, each with its own hue of color. The holes are where the souls are trapped. This is the long part. I bring out Anika’s favorite doll, something with a special memory to her. That’s how you find a soul here, you tempt it with its memories of physical life.
I look to Kathrine the guilt is as strong as ever, but I force it down
“They’ll be close together since they were taken at the same time.”
“What are we looking for?” she’s holding a doll too.
“We walk along the holes until one of them glows strong, that’s where it is.”
We walk and talk the whole time. I learn about her mother and father, the friends she has. I tell her about my family. It hurts me to think that I’m actually starting to like this girl. Despite my best efforts to resist it, the guilt is almost overwhelming. Finally, finally, we arrive at two pockets, both glowing strong. Anika’s is red. Like it, the sky is starting to redden, we don’t have much time.
I hold the doll out, watching as the soul finds its way inside. Kathrine copies me.
“Let's go,” I say.
-
Deep, almost blood red. That’s what I see as we approach the top of the last hill. The color is almost identical to the one I saw when we first came in. I’m going quicker now; I need to get to the door first. Anika and I must pass through. No matter how much my heart hurts to think about it, I’ve made up my mind.
“Nola! Slow down!” She calls, I don’t. “Nola, please, I don’t think I can-“
“Just shut up!” I yell over the roaring wind. By the time she gets to the top, I’m about to run to the door. She grabs my arm before I can.
“Nola what’s going on-“
“Nothing!” I yank away from her and start towards it; I can taste the night already.
She runs after me, finally catching up again as we approach the door. I’m almost there. My mind is screaming for me to stop but, I don’t. she doesn’t have a family, it's not your fault. The two sentences repeat in my mind.
I feel the wind being knocked out of me as I fall to the ground, Kathrine landing on top. “You’re not telling me something!”
The sharp stones I fall on dig into my worn skin. I see the door flicker.
“Kathrine get off of me!” using all the strength I have left; I hull her off and scramble back. She tries to jump at me again but misses and falls against the ground. I heave to my feet. The door is only about a hundred yards away now.
“Nola you can’t leave!” I ignore it.
“Not without Anika.” She says. I stop in my tracks and whip around to see her holding my bag.
“Kathrine-"
“You were going to leave me here…” her voice is shaking. “I figured it out when you started to get ahead. There’s a reason you came alone…isn’t there?”
I feel sick, the door’s light is beginning to fade. “If you don’t give me that, none of us leave.”
“It’s better than being trapped here alone!” her tears fall, they gut me.
“Kathrine I-"
She glares at me through the tears, her rage evident. “You pretended to be my friend!”
That hits me hard, I did, I used her. And so, for any comfort to me that its worth, I shout;
“Kathrine if you want to go you have to go now!” the door flickers again.
Her eyes go wide, then a look of understanding washes over her and I feel everything I’ve dreamed of fade away.
She mutters a bitter “thank you” as she passes.
I fall to my knees, exhausted and defeated. The flickering is more intense now. It’s all slipping away.
She makes her way to the door and I let her. She’s young, sixteen or seventeen with a dead brother and a couple friends. And I’m twenty-three with a family that could be killed for my failure, and I just let it happen. I’m so stupid.
I hear two things go through the door and it fizzes closed with me still inside. I expect tears to fall but they don’t, instead, I feel numbness wash over me. I should never have allowed myself to taste freedom, the hangover that comes after is devastating. Not even my family-
“Nola hurry!” a voice calls
What? A voice? I suddenly hear the flicking again and whip around to see Kathrine, standing there, satchel outstretched to me.
“You passed.”
What? I can barely register what’s going on. “I…passed?” Am I dreaming?
She shakes her head and places the satchel in my hand, “It doesn’t matter, now go.”
I’m about to stay something when Katherine pushes my satchel and me in.
-
I wake, satchel clutched in my arms. My head is pounding, and my body is screaming in pain. Still, I sit up and spot the husk of a figure. The same figure I saw before I entered the door. Her soul has been Caught. It’s not Kathrine…did Kathrine even exist? It’s all too much and my head is spinning. I lie back in the grass and let a peaceful darkness wash over me. Anika and I made it out, that’s all I need to know.
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7 comments
Also, if you have time, I'd love to get your feedback on my latest story.
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Sure!
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Hello, what an amazing story. It's a tremendous improvement from Lydia's Gambit. - The grammar has significantly improved, no longer rife with mistakes nor sound amateurish. - Nola's characterization is very well done. We can see her backstory from snippets of her memory, which explains her motive and character. Such as how she cares about her family, how she connects to the mission and the king and princess, as well as her physical abilities. Personality-wise, she is three dimensional and morally grey, but it makes perfect...
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Thank you so much! Your advice on Lydia's Gambit did a lot to help me improve. It was difficult to stay within the moment so I'm glad it paid off. :)
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Anytime!
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Hi Your words paint a vivid portrait of this setting and its effects on your characters. Keep writing.
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Thank you!
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