64 comments

Fiction

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, a princess was yelling in the palace.


“I don’t need servants; I know how to dress myself!”


Diane pushed away the maids that were around her. The comment, however, was intended for her husband, Percival, whose focus suddenly went to the buttons of his shirt.


It had been only a few days since she had moved into the royal palace. She had been convinced that when Percival had got down on one knee, he was just playing a practical joke on her. What would a dashing prince like him want with a peasant girl like her? But he hadn’t been joking, it hadn’t been a dream.


Within a few months, the wedding had happened, and she had become a princess, along with becoming the future queen. But she always stopped herself from thinking about the ‘future queen’ part. That part just made her stomach ache.


Percival was a kind-hearted man with a real interest in what was happening in the kingdom. He had disguised himself well and made his way to the bordering towns, staying in inns like a simple traveler, and noting the meagre lifestyle of the people. He intended to do as much as he could to help the people once he returned to his palace.


Diane’s father ran one of these inns, and when she met Percival for the first time, she was struck immediately by how blue his eyes were. It didn’t take long for them to start talking to each other. She gave her perspective on things without even knowing who he really was, and she treated him like an ordinary man for the first time in his life.


When she inevitably found out that he was the prince, she was astonished for sure, but it also made sense to her. His nobility, his thoughtfulness and his genuine love for his people had always shined through, even when she hadn’t known.


People of similar minds tend to become friends, and that was what had happened.


Their first kiss had been unexpected, but perfect.


But she had thought that their love would be enough to become a princess overnight. She had thought that the world would accept her and love her just like Percival did.


She had been so horribly wrong.


His mother, the queen, never left any opportunity to taunt her upbringing, and the king expressed his disapproval with his frowns and narrowed eyes every time she put forward her opinion.


She was waited on every moment of the day, and she could do nothing about it but scream at the maids and hope that they hated her enough to leave her alone. But they kept coming back every single day and night.


She wasn’t a part of the family. Sometimes she slipped away, and no one would even notice, except for Percival, of course.


He was the only reason she put a smile on her face, his hopeful eyes were the only image that kept her going, that made her keep trying with the family.


She planned a grand ball for the queen’s birthday, she organized a private picnic on the king and queen’s wedding anniversary and she even commissioned a painter with Percival’s help to make a painting of the king and queen to hang on their wall.


But nothing worked.


One day, she entered the dining room only to find the king and queen laughing with each other in low voices while Percival had a weak smile on his face.


She immediately knew that the topic of their scintillating discussion was none other than herself.


She made her entrance and made sure to make a lot of sound to catch their attention.


When finally, their eyes were on her, she swallowed and tried to calm her racing heart. She was going to say it. She just needed to get it out.


“I know that it is not my place to say this, I know that I’m overstepping the line, and you can throw me in the dungeons for all I care. But I need to say this. I know that I’m not the perfect daughter-in-law that you would have wanted for your son, I know I’m not a perfect wife, and I’m certainly not the perfect princess.”


She took a deep breath in and out. She didn’t have the courage to continue. Percival looked at her and smiled that smile of his which she knew was him offering support. She cleared her throat.


“I know that I don’t fit in here, and I probably never will. But I also know that I love Percival, and he loves me right back. If he had been anyone else, that would have been enough. But in this case, it isn’t. All I ask is that you try to be more accepting of his decision, more accepting of me. Since I’ve stepped in this palace, I’ve only felt like an unwelcome guest. If you both don’t approve of us, I will be forced to leave. I will leave right now if that is what you want. But I really am trying my best to make a good impression on you both. I know it isn’t working in the way I would have wished, but I would appreciate it if you both tried too. Please. If I am to spend the rest of my life here, I do not want to be unhappy, and make everyone else unhappy too.”


She stormed out of the dining room in tears after her outburst, with Percival right at her heels. She entered their bedroom and started to pack her clothes in a bag.


“I have completely blown it. I knew that I wasn’t cut out for this princess thing. I had to open my big mouth.”


“Diane.”


“Committing treason was all that I had left to do, and now I’ve done that as well.”


“Diane.”


“Now before they come to kill me, I must escape. You know I love you etcetera, but I must be selfish now.”


“Diane!”


She turned to look at him, and to her surprise, he had a huge smile on his face. He placed his hands on her shoulders.


“You don’t have to go anywhere,” he said, and her eyebrows scrunched together.


“What do you mean? I just insulted the rulers of this kingdom who also happen to be my in-laws, thereby committing treason and condemning myself to certain death. I most definitely need to go, otherwise, they’ll find me and then – mmph!”


He had cut her off mid-sentence by kissing her, and she found herself getting lost in his tender embrace.


Once they broke apart, he scratched his head sheepishly.


“I needed to make you stop talking,” he said, and she smiled widely.


“If this is my punishment for talking, then I won’t remain silent ever again,” she said, and he laughed.


“As I was saying, you don’t have to go anywhere. My parents were very impressed by you standing up to them and are terribly sorry for the way they treated you. They even forgive you for overstepping. They are willing to try,” he said, and she squealed.


“Oh, thank you thank you thank you!” she said, and hugged him in pure joy.


From that day, she became a valued and respected member of the royal family. And when she eventually became queen, she made sure to give every opportunity to her silent subjects to raise their voice for what they believe in.


Stand up for what you believe in. Don’t give up. You will find your place and you will find the people you are meant to be with. You may feel alone, you may feel like you don’t fit in. Maybe it’s not your fault. Maybe they need to move over and give you some space.

April 07, 2021 13:28

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64 comments

Eden Arbon
00:55 Apr 13, 2021

I loved this! Thank you soooo much for writing it! I love the era (It is my favourite era to write about) ;) Good job!!

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Writer Maniac
02:14 Apr 13, 2021

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it!

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Cookie Carla🍪
17:01 Apr 15, 2021

Heyo!! I just wanted to say Amel Parvez asked me to shout you out in my bio so I did :) She also said you are one of the best writers on Reedsy. Congrats!!

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Writer Maniac
17:19 Apr 15, 2021

Aww that's so sweet! Thank her from my side :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
17:23 Apr 15, 2021

Of course!

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21:27 Apr 13, 2021

I love Diane's growth, how she goes from not fitting in and not saying anything about it to bursting out telling everyone that she knows she isn't like them. The theme was powerful, and you implemented it really well into your story!!!

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Writer Maniac
02:15 Apr 14, 2021

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! I would love some feedback on 'Forget-Me-Not' :)

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20:44 Apr 14, 2021

Of course! I'm going to read it right now!

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20:44 Apr 14, 2021

Of course! I'm going to read it right now!

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R. B. Leyland
04:21 Apr 13, 2021

The rift between the nobility and common folk is explained really well here! It's got a real fairy tale feel to the story.

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Writer Maniac
05:04 Apr 13, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! Have you read my story 'Game Over'? If not, could you please read it and leave some feedback?

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R. B. Leyland
05:56 Apr 13, 2021

I've already read and thoroughly enjoyed it!

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Writer Maniac
06:00 Apr 13, 2021

Thank you! What about 'Not Worth It'?

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R. B. Leyland
06:23 Apr 13, 2021

I've 100% read that one and am sure there is a comment there too, but I cant find it amongst the 227 that live there 😂 forgot to like though, just done so now! I've just posted a new one, if you have time :)

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Writer Maniac
06:27 Apr 13, 2021

Thank you! I'll read it when I'm free :)

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Kristin Neubauer
18:46 Apr 12, 2021

Wonderful! It was this unique cross between a fairy tale and a fable with a contemporary touch, a bit of lightness and an important message. I loved this and will remember the lesson!

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Writer Maniac
02:15 Apr 13, 2021

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it!

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13:07 Apr 09, 2021

Wow! I absolutely love this story, and especially stories in general that are set in this time period...if that makes sense. Mania, I don't really know how you managed to express a story like this in 3,000 ish words, I find it hard to not write a whole story! I really loved this, and I'm following now :))))))

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Writer Maniac
14:01 Apr 09, 2021

Aww thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked it! I would love some feedback on 'Forget-Me-Not' :)

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14:19 Apr 08, 2021

i liked this story- some dialogue was a bit stiff, yes (were you going for an victorian-style way of talking?), but the theme was wholesome and you managed to turn a bit of a cliched situation into a heartwarming story with a wonderful plot. great job.

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Writer Maniac
16:12 Apr 08, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! Yes, I was going for a bit of old English and royal family type of conversation. Thanks for reading!

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Kat Sencen
03:55 Apr 08, 2021

This was an awesome story that I think you really made fairy tale-like! It was short, but still a good length. I think it could have more backstory, but this is still awesome! I loved it soooo much!

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Writer Maniac
03:58 Apr 08, 2021

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! I didn't like it very much because I had to force it out, but I'm working on making it better. Thanks for reading!

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Space Human 🌌
18:13 Apr 07, 2021

This was amazingly written! I love the little flashbacks, and how you tell the story. I would say one thing though, the ending feels a tiny bit rushed. But it is still awesome! You also spread the lesson/message of the story great!

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Writer Maniac
18:14 Apr 07, 2021

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! This story isn't really my best work as I had to push it out without wanting to, so I get what you mean by the ending. I'll be sure to work on it, thanks for reading!

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:17 Apr 07, 2021

I loved the first few lines of the story. It really was the thing that drawn me to it and as I read on it got better and better. I got a clear picture of all of your characters although I probably would've wanted a little more imagery. You know the part where you Diane confronts the king and queen, like that big chunk of dialogue, I think it would've been better executed if you put lines in there that said that she was fidgeting or nervous or that she held her chin. Any type of movement would've been great right there. I loved the ending ...

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Writer Maniac
14:29 Apr 07, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the feedback! I pushed this story out though I really didn't have any motivation for it, so it's probably in need of some more editing. I'll be sure to look into all that you suggested, thank you so much once again! I would love to hear your thoughts on a story of mine called 'Forget-Me-Not' :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:48 Apr 07, 2021

No problamo!! And sure I'll be there in a sec!!

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Radhika Diksha
04:54 Apr 15, 2021

she was struck immediately by how blue his eyes were.---> I would suggest something here. (His blue yes fascinated her the moment she laid her eyes on him.) Nothing else. There were some tense and punctuation errors, which never matter to me. Because a story is made up of ideas and imagination. Grammar is nothing. The story felt rushed from the middle section. Like after her standing up to his parents, after that the story felt as if eager to get just finished. Coming to the glass half full. You wrote the story despite not being motivated. ...

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Writer Maniac
05:15 Apr 15, 2021

Thank you so much for the feedback, I appreciate it! I did read the story many times, so if you could tell me some of the tenses and punctuation errors, I would appreciate it. I know it was rushed, I didn't have much time left to write it and I wanted to put it out quickly like you said. So I'll work on that too. Thanks again! Check your hangouts, I sent a message

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Radhika Diksha
17:05 Apr 12, 2021

New story out would love your feedback.

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Writer Maniac
17:15 Apr 12, 2021

Yes will read it

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02:24 Apr 12, 2021

Hello! This story was awesome and had a fairy tale feel....you are a great writer and I hope you don't mind me asking but can you maybe read one of my stories? I would appreciate feedback! Oh, and I did your form!

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Writer Maniac
02:50 Apr 12, 2021

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! Which one of your stories would you like me to read? Thank you for filling the form. I would love some feedback on 'Forget-Me-Not', a story I'm really proud of and one that has touched quite a few people :)

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23:25 Apr 12, 2021

Maybe 'War?' or if it's visible: 'Dragon Queen?' And I will definitely read your story!

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Writer Maniac
02:17 Apr 13, 2021

I'll read 'Dragon Queen' soon, and it is visible :)

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23:25 Apr 12, 2021

Maybe 'War?' or if it's visible: 'Dragon Queen?' And I will definitely read your story!

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23:25 Apr 12, 2021

Maybe 'War?' or if it's visible: 'Dragon Queen?' And I will definitely read your story!

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Amarah Friedman
22:23 Apr 10, 2021

Such a sweet story. I was smiling the whole time and snapping in approval at the princess's angry-yet-mature situation-management. Good for her! Also, nice moral wrap-up at the end. Very fable-esque. My favorite part was the transition into "she had been so horribly wrong." That is comedy gold. I actually laughed out loud. If you are interested in a bit of editing, I would consider making the opening dialogue snappier. Maybe something like: "I can dress myself!" Cutting down on words in the beginning could help snag the audience even more....

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Writer Maniac
02:28 Apr 11, 2021

Thank you so much for your kind words and the feedback, I'll definitely consider changing it! I would love some feedback on 'Forget-Me-Not' :)

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Amarah Friedman
16:54 Apr 11, 2021

Of course! I'll take a look at it now :)

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Ann Tillinghast
04:01 Apr 10, 2021

I really liked it. It kinda reminds me of The Princess Diaries and The Prince and I movies. Please read mine 😃 Like it if you want.

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Writer Maniac
05:57 Apr 10, 2021

Thank you so much, I'll check out your story soon!

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Ann Tillinghast
06:43 Apr 10, 2021

Thanks 😁

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Radhika Diksha
09:33 Apr 08, 2021

I liked the story. Good concept. Keep writing.

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Writer Maniac
11:50 Apr 08, 2021

Thanks! Check my messages on hangouts

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Phoenix Langston
22:20 Apr 07, 2021

My favorite thing about this story was the bond between Percival and Diane. He is such an amazing guy, and the way their relationship started was perfect. It was really easy to root for Diane when she was standing up to the king and queen, at least for me. And I was pleasantly surprised to see that they had changed their perspective of her. Not to mention the classic "kiss someone to shut their mouth" move. I always love it when that happens! Another thing, as well: That final message truly resonated with me, especially the sentence "You wil...

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Writer Maniac
02:04 Apr 08, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the feedback! I didn't really like this story, so it's encouraging to see that someone else did!

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Phoenix Langston
03:00 Apr 08, 2021

I did enjoy it. I'm sorry you don't like it, but I know you tried your best. 😉

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Writer Maniac
03:47 Apr 08, 2021

Thank you 💖

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Phoenix Langston
03:49 Apr 08, 2021

You're very welcome.

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19:47 Apr 07, 2021

I really like how you told this story! It followed pretty much all of the fairy tale rules, which I enjoyed. Describing Diane and Percival's past made this story a lot more believable, gave me some context, and put more life in the characters. I also think that adding the last paragraph was a good choice, and the message of this story was a good one. Two critiques (they're the same as Spacehuman and Carla's, but a little longer): 1. The ending seemed a little rushed. While it was very sweet and happy, I feel like you could add a little more...

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Writer Maniac
02:02 Apr 08, 2021

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! I didn't describe them because I didn't want them to fit a particular cliche of a prince and princess. I just wanted them to be up to anyone's imagination. I realise that the ending seems rushed, I'll work on it soon. I don't really like this story very much because I had to force it out, so it's not really my best work. Thanks for the feedback!

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02:15 Apr 08, 2021

I get that. You’re welcome!

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Ed .
21:23 Apr 28, 2021

Love this story!

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Writer Maniac
02:15 Apr 29, 2021

Thanks!

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15:24 Dec 30, 2021

Hey, what's up. I really enjoyed reading your short story. I'm currently developing a app which includes short stories and I would like to implement yours. Is that ok with you? Have a nice day

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