Colors

"You love changing the subject," Mika commented, lying at the foot of the bed, her bareness covered only by a riskily placed ivory sheet. Her midnight blue hair fell around her face in flawless curls, catching the moonlight from the window and shining like a lake in early winter. Her eyes flickered back to me, one hazel, one blue, and I found it hard to hold her gaze. I didn't. She giggled softly and I knew she had caught my blush even in the low light.

"I wasn't changing the subject, I was just curious..." I defended weakly, not offering the whole story. Truthfully, I asked where she always went at the end of every month because I was being eaten alive by jealousy every time I imagined she had someone else. I had no right to feel such a way, not in my situation. Sleeping with the student teacher of your Color Theory class... it's not an ideal situation to be in... but somehow that's where I found myself.

"You didn't answer my question though," Mika said back with a knowing smile, sitting up where she laid. The sheet fell and her chest was exposed, sunlight washing over her creamy white complexion. She almost glowed.

"Sorry... wha...what did you ask?" I stuttered, trying not to allow my eyes to dip below the girl's chin. She knew she had me right where she wanted me. Stalking back up toward me, I felt the weight of her palms on the bed, the mattress wincing under even her gentle touch. She was inches from my face in seconds, staring me down with her sharp eyes.

"I asked if it was good? Was I good to you?" Mika whispered, her eyes trained on my mouth. I parted my lips to speak but no sound came out. Swallowing hard, I tried again, and managed a sigh.

"Yes. It was. You...you were."

I braced myself as I felt her growing closer, my mouth flooding with saliva as I anticipated her kiss, thirsty for her touch. But just as quickly as she had come to me, she turned and hopped off of the bed, plucking her shirt off of the wooden floor. I swallowed again and sucked in a deep breath as quietly as I could, my face absolutely burning.

"I'm glad you liked it. Have you finished your assignment for friday?" She asked, turning to me again as she buttoned up her blouse. I shifted where I sat in bed, holding the sheet over my bare chest, trying to recover from the whiplash.

"I- We don't always have to talk about school. You sound like my mom," I joked half-heartedly, honestly just trying to buy myself some more time with her. But she was already slipping into her jeans...

"I thought you kinda liked that. The fact that I'm older than you, I mean," Mika smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling in amusement. I felt my face twist with embarrassment, knowing she was seconds away from referencing the fact that I sometimes called her Miss. Davis, like I did in class, while we were...

"That's different. You're only like six years older than me," I scoffed, trying my best to seem unbothered by her insinuation.

"But I am kind of like a mentor to you, no?" Mika went on, sitting down on the bed just beside me once she was dressed again. She raised her hand and ran her nails through the locks of my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear. I stared at her with glossy eyes.

"Why can't you tell me where you always disappear to?" I asked softly, my guard finally fully down. She returned my expression, but only for a short moment, before her features hardened again, she pulled her hand away, and stood to leave.

"It's nothing you should concern yourself with, Zuri."

Her tone was cold. I felt the tears bubbling up in my throat as her steps headed for the door. Before I could stop myself I stood and called after her.

"Well maybe we should stop this then!" I stood there in the moonlight completely naked, two tears running down my cheeks. She turned to look at me, but her expression didn't change.

"We can stop if you want."

Her indifference only frustrated me more.

"If you never liked me--why bother taking all of it this far? Why keep this going for months? Why risk your job?" I asked one after another, my voice growing louder. Mika stood there, staring, for a while before she answered.

"I don't know."

I felt my heart fall from my chest down into my stomach, like a leaf hitting the pavement. My tears started to pour, and it became more obvious than ever to me how vulnerable I was, not just because I was bare, but because I had allowed myself to make this into something it wasn't.

"Your assignment-"

I felt the band inside of me snap, sending a shockwave through my body like a cymbal.

"Just get out!"

I crumbled onto the edge of the bed, holding my face in my hands as I cried, the sound of Mika's footsteps retreating louder than any sound I swore I'd ever heard.

---

That following Tuesday when I had lecture, I was equally surprised and relieved to find that Mika was out sick. I sat in the lecture hall staring at her usual spot, wondering if she was really sick or just sick at the thought of seeing me. Either one made my chest hurt, so I tried my best not to think about it for very long.

Our next assignment, which was to collect colors that were significant to us and make a collage of them, was due that friday. I hadn't even started. All my other classes had taken priority, and so I hadn't collected a single color swatch. But, to my surprise, when I opened my portfolio for the project, a manila envelope we'd been given weeks earlier in class, I found one.

It was a rich, mossy green with brown undertones. A color marked with the name 'Fawn'. I wrinkled my forehead in confusion as I stared down at the swatch in my hand, turning it over without thinking.

On the back, there was a note, jotted down in black pen.

'Not quite, but close' it read. I stared at the message for a while before I recognized it. It was Mika's handwriting. The way the ink slightly smudged between the letters. She was a lefty. Immediately, I got the urge to crumple up the swatch and throw it away.

But... what could that mean? Not quite, but close? Something to do with 'Fawn' maybe? I sat, wracking my brain about what it could mean, when my eyes settled on a painting my professor had hanging on the left side of the class. Low and behold... a fawn, painted beautifully in what looked to be an overgrown forest, beams of moonlight peaking through the foliage.

That day I stayed after class until everyone else had left, calling to my professor before she had the chance to leave.

"Excuse me," I said politely, while Professor Connors stacked papers and gathered books. She turned and looked at me in surprise. We'd never had a conversation one-on-one before. I felt a little silly even asking, but something in me told me just to take the chance.

"Do you know anything about that painting... the one of the fawn... over there?" I gestured to the painting mounted on the wall, and she followed with her gaze, smiling.

"Oh that? That was actually painted by a girl who was in my class about thirty years ago," She explained, looking across the room at the artwork fondly, "I can never quite remember her name, forgive me."

I wasn't surprised, the woman was pushing seventy. She went on before I could thank her.

"That's a painting of the woods just an hour outside of town, they're beautiful this time of year."

I nodded my head thoughtfully, thanked her, and left a moment later, the color swatch still tucked into the pocket on my jean skirt.

what is this fawn swatch? you left it in my folder, right?

I texted to Mika, though I figured she wouldn't reply. She didn't. My next thought, though a bit insane, was to drive out to the woods Professor Connors had told me about. I couldn't explain the feeling that I had, but I knew I had to follow it.

It took me about an hour and fifteen minutes to get to the woods, and by then it was dark. I hadn't realized until I got out of the car that the moon was full that night, and showered over all the greenery, making it shimmer. I noticed a trail, and decided to follow it as far as it would take me. I had no flashlight, so I used the one on my phone, knowing this was a bad idea with such little battery left. But, I did it anyway. About fifteen minutes into my walk, my feet began to hurt and the chill of the evening began to set in.

I stopped when I heard the sound of leaves crunching behind me, whipping my head around. I sighed, relieved, when I saw a small, black cat on the trail behind me walking over. Naturally, I bent down onto my knee to pet it. It came to me, nudging it's ears against my fingers cutely.

"I guess I'm just insane, huh?" I cooed down at the animal, who purred lowly at my affection. At that point I started to feel pretty stupid for coming all of that way, so I packed in my pride and started back toward the car, the pretty little cat disappearing into the shrubbery again.

Twenty minutes later when I arrived again at my vehicle, I was shocked to see there was another color swatch tucked under my windshield wiper. At that point, I was glancing over my shoulder. I knew it was her, but how had she known this was where I'd come? How could she have predicted I'd ask Professor Connors about the painting...

Questions swirled through my head as I plucked the new swatch off of my car and examined it. This swatch was named 'Sable'. This one, though, did not come with a note on the back. I sighed, at this point thoroughly confused, cold, and tired.

"Sable?" I muttered. Jumping back when at the sound of the word, the cat came bursting from the bushes, rubbing it's body against my calf.

"Sable." I repeated it, and the cat purred happily. "That's your name isn't it? Sable."

The cat purred again to confirm, and I bent down once more to run my hand along its back. It's blue-black coat caught the moon's rays just right, glistening almost as if it were wet. I felt an odd sort of connection to the animal, as if it understood me. I looked over the cat, noticing it was without a tag, and that's when I made the decision to take it with me. Once again, only on the impulse that it felt like the right thing to do.

It took me another hour or so to arrive back at my apartment, my eyes heavy with sleep as I stepped over the threshold, letting Sable down onto the floor. I kicked my shoes off in the next moment, and climbed into my bed, not bothering to change out of my clothes. As I laid there, moments from sleep, all I could think about was what the color swatches meant. What was Mika trying to tell me? The very last thing I remembered before falling asleep was the comforting sensation of Sable climbing up next to me, and then softly nesting at the edge of the bed.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning and the cat was completely gone.

And what's more... in it's place was... Mika, lying at the edge of my bed completely bare.

I jumped back as everything registered, looking down at myself. I still had all my clothes...

Then, my eyes darted to the door, but I could see it was locked from the inside. How had she gotten in?

It was just as she was rolling over, rubbing sleep from her eyes, that things started to make sense.

"Wha-" I said softly, swallowing a mouthful of uncertainty. Mika sat up, a vulnerable look in her eyes, one I had never seen her wear before.

"I can explain," She offered, a sheepish smile spreading out on her lips. I sat frozen. Part of me already knew, but I still struggled to wrap my head around things.

"What about Sable?" I blurted out, and that's when it really hit me. I watched, in a blink, as Mika transformed into the sweet, black cat I'd met last night on the trail. My eyes widened with some mix of fear and curiosity as the cat slowly made it's way over to me on the bed.

"Mika?" She meowed back to confirm, and I leaned back against the bed frame in disbelief, suddenly dizzy.

I stared up at the ceiling for a moment before the cat pawed at my arm. I don't know how I knew what to do, but something in me...

"Sable."

And then the girl was back, lying on my bed, fully nude, her fists clenched like paws.

"You're..."

"A cat," Mika smiled, "A fawn is close... but not quite. I painted the painting. I took that exact Color Theory class 30 years ago. I don't know what made me come back... but then I met you..."

I felt my head spin at her words, completely floored by the reality of the situation.

"You mean I've been sleeping with not ONLY a cat... but an OLD CAT?"

Mika laughed, pulling the sheet up to cover herself. It was then I noticed her teeth, much pointier than they had been before. And her pupils, more like slits than dots in her eyes.

"Just a girl with a curse that happens to change her into a cat on full moons and when her real name is spoken," Mika offered, filling in the blanks.

"That's why you wouldn't tell me anything... god, I have so many questions," I said, the realization washing over me suddenly. My tone softened, and I felt that tension in my chest release ever so slightly.

"I thought you might not like me... if you knew," Mika replied honestly, wearing another new expression... one filled with embarrassment.

"Not like you? I just thought you had a boyfriend or something," I spilled finally, which made Mika laugh again, flashing her fangs once more.

"So you're okay with it then?" Mika asked hopefully, her eyes lighting up as she looked at me. I felt that tightness in my heart return, but this time it felt good.

"Miss. Davis, I am more than okay with you."

The girl smiled, and leaned in to kiss me, that surreal feeling still fresh on my skin like brisk air. She stopped just a moment before our lips met, smirking just like her old self.

"I guess what I said a couple days ago is out the window then."

"What?" I whispered, my eyes closed in anticipation.

"I was never in charge. I've been your pet all along, Zuri."

She kissed me, and I felt my whole body ring out like it was the first time we'd touched. A moment later she was lying me down on the bed, climbing over me, her lips parted against mine. I opened my eyes every so slightly and that's when I noticed it.

Fawn... her eyes...

Sable... her hair...

Peach... her lips...

Ivory... her skin...

Sable. A girl. A cat.

Each color like I was seeing it for the first time.