47 comments

Christmas Contemporary Funny

Christmas morning arrived, as it always did, with Claire buzzing about like a snow-dusted sparrow while I nursed a coffee and grumbled under my breath about the cost of everything. Our house was a swirl of tinsel and twinkling fairy lights, the air carried the scent of roasting turkey and citrus notes of mulled wine. And yet, all I could think about was the sanctity of Boxing Day football fixtures—a glimmer of normalcy amid the forced cheer.

   At eight o’clock I got a call from my sister, Victoria.

   “Roy,” she said briskly, “expect Terry today.”

   “Terry who?”

   “You know, Terry. Big fellow. Canadian accent. He showed up here yesterday, said he’s tracing family roots or something. I couldn’t keep him, Leanne needed me, but I told him he’d be welcome at yours.”

   “Did you now?” I said, tightening my grip on the handset.

   “Oh, stop it,” she snapped. “He’s family. Mum’s side from British Columbia. Aunt Mabel’s funeral, remember?” 

   “That was years ago---”

   “You probably met him there.”

   “I don’t recall---”

   “Well, he’s harmless. And entertaining, in his own way.”

   “Entertaining?”

   She ignored my scepticism. “Look, he’s a traveller. He’ll have stories to share. Anyway, Merry Christmas!” And with that, she hung up.

   An hour later, a heavy knock shook the front door.

   Terry was a sight to behold. A giant of a man with thick chin bristles and a ruddy nose that glowed like Santa’s proverbial reindeer. His coat looked as if it had weathered every Canadian winter since Confederation, and his rucksack bulged with unknown treasures.

   “I’m Terry,” he said, thrusting out a dinner plate-sized hand.

   Before I could process the situation, Claire appeared at my side. “Please come in, dear,” she said, ushering him inside.

   Claire’s warmth made up for my frostiness. She hauled off his rucksack, fussed over him like a long-lost nephew, and whisked him into the living room, where the first of our guests had already settled.

   “Merry Christmas, folks,” he said, occupying the polite silence. “I’m Terry.”

   “Merry Christmas, Terry!” Everyone shuffled round to accommodate an extra seat.

   “I’m from Vancouver,” he said, turning to offer a hand. “And you are…?”

   “I’m Edith, dear and this is Dorothy…”

   By the time dinner was served, Terry had charmed the room and addressed all our guests by name. Even the most bashful of our gathering listened with rapt attention as he regaled us with tales of the Canadian Rockies, of serenading strangers under shimmering auroras, and of hitching across golden deserts with nothing but a canteen and a song. Terry’s booming voice rattled each sash window in our house and populated every cobwebbed corner. His captivating presence somehow made the tinsel twinkle brighter. It was as though he possessed an internal furnace that emitted a powerful energy source. I swear, if I didn’t know better, he was fit to self-combust. 

   “You’ve built quite the home here, Claire,” he said as we tucked into turkey and stuffing. “A true hearth for the soul. Not many people can say that.”

   “Not at all…” Claire blushed, waving him off with a laugh. “Roy and I are quite a team.”

   Terry caught my eye and grinned as he watched my reaction. 

   I turned away, nodding in agreement, and caught a flicker of pride on Claire’s face. 

   After dinner, our guests relaxed with cups of tea in the living room. That was when Terry brought out his drum.

   “You know,” he said, his voice assuming a storyteller’s cadence, “the best place for storytelling is a cave. Firelight flickering on the walls, shadows dancing like spirits.” 

   My two maiden aunts cooed in wonder, enthralled by the primordial imagery. 

   “However,” he said, drawing breath. “We’ll make do with this lovely home.”

   Terry’s clenched finger tips tapped out cascading rhythms as he warmed up and punctuated his phrases with solid palm thumps. 

   The room fell silent. Even I, for all my cynicism, felt a flicker of curiosity.

   As Terry began to play, a steady rhythm seemed to pulse in the air itself. His voice followed, rich and resonant, spinning a tale of love and loyalty, of homes built not of brick and mortar but of kindness and warmth. He sang about beautiful souls making memorable marks on life’s mysterious pathway as opposed to leaving indelible stains. He wove Claire into the story, praising her generosity and called her the beating heart of our home.

   “You’re a lucky man, Roy,” he said, his gaze cutting through me. “Don’t forget it.”

   The room erupted into applause when he finished. Claire’s cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright. For the first time in years, I looked at her - not just as my wife but as the woman she was, the one I’d somehow taken for granted.

* * *

The next day, as Claire hummed to herself in the kitchen, the phone rang. It was Victoria.

   “So,” she said, “how was Terry?”

   “Charming, but…” I squinted my mouth to one side. “Strange.” 

   “Hmm… He’s certainly the black sheep.”

   “Are you sure he’s family?”

   “Honestly, no one’s sure,” she replied. “All we know is, he’s from Canada. He said he’s tracing relatives. But no one remembers him from Aunt Mabel’s funeral. Henry thought he looked familiar, but who knows? He could’ve just heard the Mellor name on his travels.”

   The line crackled for a moment. “You’re saying he might not be family at all?”

   Victoria laughed. “He’s gone now, isn’t he? What’s the harm?”

   Gone. The word lingered as I hung up the phone. Who was Terry? And how had he come to be sitting at our Christmas table, filling our home with music and light?

   Claire glanced at me as I returned to the kitchen. “What’s on your mind?” she said, setting a poinsettia on yesterday’s empty table.

   “Nothing,” I said, my mind swirling with questions. And then, almost without thinking, I reached out and took her hand.

   Claire’s eyes softened, her smile deepening.

   Perhaps it didn’t matter who Terry was. Whether he was family, a wandering troubadour, or some messenger sent by fate, he’d left something behind. A warmth. A reminder.

   Life, after all, meanders on unpredictable pathways.

   And for the first time, I didn’t mind so much. 

   Even if I still hated Christmas.

   There’s football later.

   So that’s fine.

The End

January 11, 2025 04:27

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47 comments

John Rutherford
12:05 Jan 17, 2025

A whimsical tale. Ironic how the unexpected events in our lives go either way. Thanks for sharing.

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Howard Halsall
12:28 Jan 17, 2025

Hey John, Thanks for reading my latest and leaving your positive feedback; it’s much appreciated. Yes, one never knows how things are going to pan out; either way, there’s not a lot we can do to influence it. HH :)

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Stevie Burges
09:04 Jan 17, 2025

Great story Howard. Well written and paced. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

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Howard Halsall
09:18 Jan 17, 2025

Hey Stevie, Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share your positivity. I’m pleased you enjoyed it and trust it rang true. Anyways, I guess we could all use a reminder from ‘Terry’ once in a while and Christmas seems an appropriate moment to thank the ones we love for all they do…. HH :)

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Arora Gleans
00:04 Jan 17, 2025

What a beautiful story! I loved the way you created Terry as a character. He had an air of mystery and brought a little light into the lives of everyone, especially Roy, at the Christmas dinner. This was very well written with stunning imagery :).

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Howard Halsall
03:47 Jan 17, 2025

Hey Arora, Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share your thoughts; they’re much appreciated. Christmas should be a time to share light and laughter amongst our loved ones, especially those who quietly work to make every day the best it can be for little acknowledgement. Sometimes it takes an outsider to lead the way…. Take care HH :)

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Hannah Lynn
18:48 Jan 16, 2025

Terry was a mysterious visitor who came into their lives to remind them how lucky they are! He’s a good reminder to appreciate the good in our lives. I enjoyed your story!

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Howard Halsall
19:08 Jan 16, 2025

Hey Hannah, Thank you for reading my story and sharing your thoughts. I agree with your sentiment; we all need to stop and appreciate the wonderful little things that happen in our lives; it’s all those tiny acts of kindness we take for granted that we will remember later… HH :)

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Ross Dyter
08:47 Jan 16, 2025

I really enjoyed this, "His coat looked as if it had weathered every Canadian winter since Confederation, and his rucksack bulged with unknown treasures." Made me laugh and as others have said we all need a Terry in our lives sometimes. The last lines are a great note to end on and probably a good way to live your life.

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Howard Halsall
09:07 Jan 16, 2025

Hey Ross, Thank you for reading my story and sharing your positive feedback. I’m glad it raised a smile and hope it provided a little food for thought. As you say, a visit from a Terry wouldn’t go amiss in many homes… Take care HH :)

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MJ Brewer
04:48 Jan 16, 2025

This was a great story! Let me address one part that stood out before diving into the kudos. The sentence, “A true hearth for the soul. Not many people can say that,” could be a bit clearer. When he says, “not many people can say that,” does he mean not many people could say that about Claire’s home? Or is he saying he can’t say that about most people’s homes? See what I mean? That said, I really enjoyed your use of language, especially the alliteration like “tinsel twinkling,” “firelight flickering,” and “punctuated his phrases with solid ...

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Howard Halsall
05:53 Jan 16, 2025

Hey MJ, Thank you for taking the time to read my latest story and share your thoughts - they’re much appreciated. It’s really useful to receive some feedback and get a sense of what works and what fails to deliver. Concerning the “true hearth for the soul” line; my intention was to highlight the unique quality of the couple’s home due to Claire’s love and care. I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear as any confusion like that can ruin the flow and spoil the impact… However, I’m glad you enjoyed it, relieved it all made sense and hope you’ll return ...

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Lily Finch
03:48 Jan 15, 2025

Howard, the strengths of your story. 1. Vivid Descriptions: Your story features rich, sensory details that paint a clear picture of the Christmas setting. The imagery of the home adorned with tinsel and the aroma of roasting turkey creates an inviting atmosphere that draws readers in. 2. Character Development: Your characters, especially Terry, are well-developed and distinct. Terry's presence adds a layer of intrigue and excitement to the story, while the protagonist's initial cynicism and eventual recognition of his own feelings deepen t...

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Howard Halsall
05:16 Jan 15, 2025

Hello LF6, Thank you for taking the time to read my story and offer such thorough feedback. I’ve absorbed your thoughtful advice and can only regret that the deadline for changes has passed. However, the pointers you presented are pertinent and useful, and I can apply their wisdom to future projects…. Regards HH

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Lily Finch
14:46 Jan 15, 2025

Yes, that dreaded drop dead time when we can no longer make changes to our stories. So frustrating! LF6

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Howard Halsall
18:56 Jan 15, 2025

‘Twas ever thus, alas :)

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Nate Brady
22:25 Jan 15, 2025

Howard this feedback was AI generated.

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MJ Brewer
04:55 Jan 16, 2025

I agree—no one is going to dissect a short story down to its most basic elements like this review did.

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Howard Halsall
22:39 Jan 15, 2025

Thanks Nate, AI seems to get everywhere nowadays… :)

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Lily Finch
01:47 Jan 16, 2025

Hacked

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Lila Evans
00:05 Jan 15, 2025

We all need a Terry in our lives from time to time. Beautifully written.

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Howard Halsall
03:31 Jan 15, 2025

I agree, Lila. It’s shame a Terry isn’t available as part of a healthcare package. Thank you for reading my story and sharing your positive feedback; it’s much appreciated. HH :)

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Ken Cartisano
06:44 Jan 14, 2025

Nice story. Delightfully, masterfully written. The words, 'The End', unnecessary. Eh?

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Howard Halsall
07:56 Jan 14, 2025

Hey Ken, Thank you for reading my story and sharing your positive feedback. Regarding “The End” - You know what? You’re spot on. I can lose the final words as they don’t add much. It’s kinda obvious it’s over…. Ciao for now :)

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Rebecca Detti
19:39 Jan 13, 2025

I really enjoyed this Howard and certainly recognised the dynamic. I knew a Terry called 'Roy' and he loved the ladies!

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Howard Halsall
00:02 Jan 14, 2025

Hey Rebecca, Thank you for reading my story and taking the time to share your experience. Funnily enough, many years ago, I had an encounter with an itinerant storyteller called Roy; he was quite a character. There can’t be many wandering minstrels that share the same name. HH :)

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Rebecca Detti
09:25 Jan 15, 2025

Hey HH, he he! I know although my grandad was also called Roy and his friends said that he was just like the actor Terry Thomas. There must be something in the name! 😊

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Howard Halsall
18:55 Jan 15, 2025

Terry Thomas? Now, that’s a name to conjure with; what a character :)

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Jo Freitag
02:00 Jan 13, 2025

Great story, Howard. I love ' Claire buzzing about like a snow-dusted sparrow '. Beautiful observation of the way one person can change the atmosphere and give new perspectives on familiar people and situations.

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Howard Halsall
05:41 Jan 13, 2025

Hey Jo, Thank you for reading my story and leaving your positive feedback. I’m pleased you enjoyed it and hope you’ll return to read future offerings…. Take care HH

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Mary Bendickson
01:46 Jan 13, 2025

Everyone can use a little Christmas cheer as they await Boxing Day😁 For a moment I thought you were about to admit he was still there waiting 4to enjoy the game with you! Thanks for liking 'Help Needed'. (Claire gets around, eh?)

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Howard Halsall
05:38 Jan 13, 2025

Yes, that’s so true, Mary, Claire does get around doesn’t she? But I guess it’s that time of year? Anyhow, I’m glad you took the time to read and comment on my latest offering and hope it lightened the start of your 2025. It’s certainly been a grim January so far, so let’s hope it gets better…. :)

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Helen A Howard
10:17 Jan 12, 2025

Like you say, in a sense it didn’t matter who Terry was. He had the ability to transform the atmosphere; the stranger’s unexpected presence and his appreciation allows Roy to see his wife in a different way and appreciate her efforts, outside of being his wife. I like the idea of glimpsing someone we’ve known for years in a fresh light and the image of Claire “buzzing about like a snow dusted sparrow” is particularly pleasing. I enjoyed this mysterious stranger who brought something unique to Christmas. I’m afraid I tend to be a bit like Roy...

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Howard Halsall
05:31 Jan 13, 2025

Hey Helen, Thank you for taking the time to read my latest story and share your thoughts. BTW - Yes I agree with you on two counts. 1- Terry was merely a catalyst to get the middle-aged couple to interaction; a musical therapist of sorts… 2- However, Christmas can also be quite divisive and I’m sure many s family have ceased communicating after the big day. There’s a lot of pressure either way…. Take care HH :)

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Helen A Howard
07:08 Jan 13, 2025

That is the main trouble with Christmas. Far too much pressure.

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Howard Halsall
23:42 Jan 13, 2025

It was ever thus…. :)

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Thomas Wetzel
09:12 Jan 12, 2025

You have a really cool and engaging style here. Excellent narrative flow. Great story. Nice work.

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Howard Halsall
05:19 Jan 13, 2025

Hey Thomas, I’m pleased you enjoyed my latest offering and appreciate your positive comments… HH :)

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Trudy Jas
23:01 Jan 11, 2025

A cynic melted on Christmas. Everybody needs a Terry now and then. 😣😃

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Howard Halsall
05:18 Jan 13, 2025

Happy (belated) new year, Trudy, Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share your reactions. “Yes,” I agree, it’s a shame Terry isn’t available as part of a funded mental health or marriage guidance service. I’m certain a therapist delivering thought provoking lyrics to warring couples would work wonders, or at least take their mind off contentious issues…. Take care HH

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Trudy Jas
11:45 Jan 13, 2025

Happy New Year to you too. :-)

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Howard Halsall
23:43 Jan 13, 2025

I trust you’re keeping well and recovering from the festivities…. :)

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Trudy Jas
01:21 Jan 14, 2025

What festivities? Us old people shun those things. Bah humbug and all that stuff. 🧓😣🥱😴

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Howard Halsall
01:37 Jan 14, 2025

Surely not, Trudy? I can’t imagine that you endured a solitary Yuletide huddled-up in fingerless mittens, warming your hands over a single candle and sipping tepid green tea from chipped enamel mug… :)

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Alexis Araneta
16:53 Jan 11, 2025

Hahaha ! That last line ! This was heartwarming, Howard. I loved how you built up Terry as a character. Great use of imagery too. Spectacular !

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Howard Halsall
05:10 Jan 13, 2025

Hey Alexis, Thank you for reading my story and sharing your thoughts and positivity. I’m glad you enjoyed it and hope it raised a smile as well as offering a little joy. We could all use some lighthearted amusement to start 2025, what with one thing and another…. Take care HH

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