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Friendship Funny Happy

“Great to see you again, man!” Keith smiled and held his arms out wide. “Glad you could get here for the class reunion.”

“You too! Wow, our twenty-year reunion. Been way too long,” Rob gave his old friend a hug. “What the hell have you been up to?” He sat on an old wooden spool on Keith’s back patio. “Damn, you still have this thing?” He laughed and patted the side of the spool.

“Of course!” Keith handed Rob a beer from the cooler. “I can’t get rid of it.”

“Because no one wants it?”

“Nah, man. Because it’s a classic.” Keith sat on a swing that was hanging from a tree branch. “Like this swing.”

“Or like you. Is classic just code for old as hell?” Rob pointed to a small shed in the corner of the yard. “I see your dad’s shed still ain’t fallen in.” He stood and walked toward the wooden building.

“Yea,” Keith followed him. “I don’t know how he put it together, but it will probably be the last thing standing around here one day.”

Rob pulled the door open. He stepped in, careful not to topple the paint cans stacked near the opening. “Looks like the same stuff that was in here when we were in elementary school.”

“Mostly is,” Keith pulled the chain on the light bulb hanging down. “I think the newest thing might be that mower, but it hasn’t run in a good ten years.”

Rob moved a few wooden crates to one side. “Look at that,” he grinned and held up his find. “Your old tackle box. Man, we used to walk all the way down to Anderson’s pond in the middle of the night and fish in the dark! You remember that?”

“Yea,” Keith took another drink. “I also remember getting chased out of there by that old bull!” They both laughed.

Rob rummaged through one of the crates. “All your dad’s tools are still here. He was always yelling at us to quit playing with them.” He grabbed an old fishing hat from a peg on the wall and put it on. “God dangit you two, stop foolin’ round with my tools. Them things ain’t toys you know!”

Keith leaned back and let out a howl of a laugh. “Holy crap! If you were fifty pounds heavier and had a beard, I would swear my old man was yelling at me right now.” He pointed to the far corner, “You remember?”

Rob moved past the pile of wire and rope to get a better look. “Are you kidding? The old pick – and there’s the punji sticks!” He gathered all the items and brought them out into the yard. “I can’t believe you still have these!”

“Like I said, I don’t get rid of stuff.” Keith took a look back at the house. “Well, most stuff.” He walked back and sat on the swing, staring at the sliding glass door.

“Sorry to hear about the divorce.”

Keith shrugged his shoulders, “Hey, it happens. You want another beer?” He reached for the cooler and grabbed two cans.

“Thanks.” Rob crushed his empty. “Is it still there?” He grinned.

“Sure is,” Keith pointed behind Rob. “Same place it’s always been. Five bucks?”

“You’re on!” Rob closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He launched the can behind him. There was a clack as it hit the bricks and a sound of metal on metal. He opened his eyes and said, “Made it! You owe me five!”

Keith shook his head. “Close, but you just hit the side of the bucket.”

Rob turned, “Man, always so close.” He got up to put the can in the bucket. “Dude,” he pointed to some bushes near the back fence, “the roses are still there?”

“Oh yea,” Keith nodded and walked toward them. “Mom made us keep them and taught Lydia how to…”

“Oh hey, sorry man.”

Keith sighed, “No worries. You remember that summer when my mom made us plant these?”

“Like it was yesterday,” Rob smiled.

*****

“Dad, we need to build a wolf trap!” Keith shook his father while he was napping on the couch.

“Hmm, what? You need what?” He had not opened his eyes.

“A wolf trap. We need to build one.”

His father turned onto his side with his back to Keith. “I don’t wanna build nothin’. It’s my day off, boy!”

“No, not me and you. Me and Rob.” He shook his father again. “Can we?”

“What do you need with a fool thing like that?” He pushed his son’s hand away.

“So, we can trap a wolf.”

“Ain’t no wolves round here. Ya’ll leave me alone!”

“That’s because there ain’t no traps to catch one. Can we please?”

“Fine, just let me be.”

“Thanks, Dad!” Keith ran outside to tell Rob.

*****

“We got all the stuff we need right here.” Keith held the tools. “We need to figure out where to dig.” He and Rob began surveying the area. “What about there, in the corner?”

“That looks like a good spot,” Rob nodded. “Plus, it’s under that pear tree. So, there’s lots of shade while we work.”

“Yea, maybe the pears will be good bait for a wolf passing by.” Keith picked up the tools and walked to a spot under the tree.

“I don’t think wolves eat pears.”

“Well, birds eat them, right?” Keith asked. Rob nodded. “So, when the birds come to eat the pears, then the wolves will come to get the birds.”

Keith thought for a while, “Makes sense.”

“Of course, it does.” Keith took the pick and swung it high above his head and brought it down into the soft soil. He yanked the pick back and up, pulling some dirt with it. “I’ll break it loose with the pick, and you can shovel it out in a pile.”

“OK,” Rob agreed.

“Let’s get to work.”

*****

“Dad,” Keith shook his father. “Is it all right if I use the ladder?”

“Huh,” his father barely opened his heavy eyes.

“The ladder. Can I use the ladder?”

“What for?”

“To finish the wolf trap out by the pear tree.”

“Ladder,” he repeated. “Yea OK, use whatever ya need. Just let me get some rest.”

“Thanks, Dad!” Keith ran back outside.

“Must be hanging somethin’ in that tree,” he mumbled. “Wolf trap. Goofy kids.”

*****

Keith dragged the ladder across the yard. He lowered it into the hole. “Hey Rob, here comes the ladder.”

“Got it,” came the reply from the bottom. A few seconds later, Rob popped out. “It’s getting pretty deep. How far down you think we are?”

“Well, the ladder says ten feet on the side here,” Keith pointed. “Looks like we got a foot or so poking up. I guess eight or nine feet deep. You think that’s enough?”

“Ms. Jackson told us in Science class last year that wolves can jump twelve feet.” Rob scratched his head and thought. “You think we need to go down deeper?”

“Maybe, but we don’t have a long enough ladder to get back out, so I guess we’re as deep as we can go.” Keith replied. “I wonder what else we could do so the wolf can’t get out?”

“What does your dad have in the shed?”

They searched from one end to the other. Keith was handing items to Rob, who was laying them out on the grass. After a half hour, Keith emerged, “I think that’s it. What do we have?”

Rob took inventory. “A bunch of rope, two rakes, a tarp, and four old tiki torches.”

“What can use it for?” Keith asked.

“Well, we could cover the hole with the tarp,” Rob replied. “You know, like they do on Wild Kingdom when they make a pit to trap the leopard? They cover it with branches and leaves.”

“Yea! And we could make those sharp sticks that poke up out of the ground. They always put them at the bottom of the trap.”

“Where are we going to get sharp sticks?” Rob asked.

“My dad said we can use whatever we want. I think I know what to do.” He ran to the shed. Rob could hear Keith moving things all around and mumbling to himself. He finally came out holding a hand saw and a machete.

Rob gave Keith a surprised look. “I don’t think we’re supposed to have those.”

“He said we could use anything we want.”

“Um, you sure about that?”

“I heard him say it. Now, are we gonna finish this trap or what?”

Rob shrugged his shoulders, “OK.”

*****

“Dad! Do we have a bucket?” Keith shook his father.

“Hmm, whu… what?”

“Bucket,” Keith said excitedly, “I need a bucket – now!”

“Garage. Laundry room.” He managed before he fell back asleep.

“Thanks!” Keith sprinted to the laundry room and retrieved the red metal bucket.

*****

“Is it getting any better?” Keith asked as he pulled the bucket up on the rope.

“Can’t tell,” Rob called up to him.

“Be right back!” He carried the bucket across the yard and into the back alley, dumping the water in the storm drain. He ran back and lowered the bucket to Rob. “Here it comes.”

“OK,” Rob called, “pull it up.”

Keith pulled the bucket of water out of the hole and ran to dump it. “I’m back. Here it comes again.” Keith dropped the bucket back down to Rob.

“Hey Keith,” Rob called out. He sounded worried. “I think you need to get your dad.”

“What? No way!”

“Seriously, Keith. I’m stuck!”

“What? Stuck how?” Keith lay on his stomach so he could see down in the hole better. Rob was standing in muddy water up to his waist. “Climb up the ladder.”

“I tried, but I can’t move in this mud.” Rob leaned and pulled on the ladder. “Nothing - and the water is getting higher!”

*****

“Dad! Dad! Come outside quick!” Keith yelled at his father.

“What? What’s going on?” He sat up on the couch. “Can’t a guy get a nap round here?”

“Come ON! Rob’s about to drown in the wolf trap! Hurry Dad!” Keith ran outside.

“Drown in the wolf trap?”

“Help!” Rob screamed.

“Dad hurry! Help!” Keith called out.

*****

“What the hell were you thinking?” Keith’s father shouted. Most of the neighbors were standing in the back yard gawking.

“OK, mister. We got the water shut off.” A man in a hard hat handed Keith’s father a piece of paper. “Call this number on Monday and we’ll send a crew to fix the pipe. You won’t have no water until then. They’ll send you the bill when the job is done.”

“The bill?”

“Yea,” the man replied. “When you bust a pipe on your property, it’s your responsibility.”

Keith’s father nodded. “Thanks for getting here so quick. Sorry to get you out on a Saturday.”

“No problem. And I can tell the wife I got to see a genuine wolf trap.” He waved to his crew and they loaded into the truck.

Keith looked up at his father. “Sorry, Dad.”

His father pointed to the hole with a look as if to say what is that?

“Wolf trap,” Keith answered with his head hung down.

His father pointed again – this time to a pile of sharp, wooden poles.

“Tiki torches,” Rob answered sheepishly. “And the shovel handle and two rake handles.”

He gave them another confused look. Rob knew what he was thinking.

“Sawed the metal parts off and sharpened them up with the machete. We were gonna put them in the bottom pointing up. You know like they do in the movies.”

“Punji sticks,” his father mumbled.

“Huh?” Rob and Keith both asked.

“They’re called punji sticks.”

“Oh, cool!” Keith said. Rob gave him a quick glance, shaking his head.

“What in the world is going on out here?” They all turned to see Keith’s mother standing on the back porch with a look of shock on her face.

“Oh boy,” Keith’s father sighed.

*****

Keith tossed Rob another beer. They were both laughing hysterically.

“Oh my God!” Keith sat on the swing. “I remember my mom would not talk to me for two weeks.”

“I remember we had to fill up that hole when the city fixed the pipe and then work the rest of the summer planting those roses and fixing up your yard to pay your dad back.” Rob tossed his empty over his shoulder. The can bounced off the bricks and dropped right into the bucket. “That old, red bucket sure has seen a lot over the years. Oh, and now I don’t owe you a fiver.”

“Man, we did some dumb stuff when we were kids. I’m surprised we didn’t die a hundred different times.” Keith laughed. “We were so stupid.”

“Yea but it sure was fun. At least now we’re mature and smarter.”

“Exactly,” Keith walked across the yard and picked up the punji sticks. “You wanna play mumbly-peg?”

“Hell yea!” Rob began taking off his shoes.

June 19, 2021 19:44

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2 comments

Beth Connor
22:36 Jun 21, 2021

I loved the nostalgia in this story- it feels like the same type of trouble I would have gotten into! “I don’t think wolves eat pears.” made me laugh out loud.

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Redd Herring
13:01 Jun 22, 2021

Thanks Beth. This one was fun, and my brother and I did build a wolf trap in the back yard!

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