Contest #155 shortlist ⭐️

79 comments

Funny Coming of Age Middle School

Harvey Deenwaller really shit the bed when he tried out for the basketball team, because he forgot what we all knew: junior high school was bullshit. Trying leads to judging, judging leads to failing, and failing leads to being a loser. Of course we only heard about him, but it was all anyone talked about all day, and when we got into seventh period English we found out that Stacey McCain had seen it. She was always creeping on Carlos Messerschmidt – although she’d never admit it, except she was always admitting it – and Carlos was already on the team.

So yeah, Stacey was an instant celebrity, and old lady Laveau just sat in the corner shaking her head and I guess I kinda felt bad for her, but it was her own damn fault for trying to teach us stuff. Teachers are basically fascists, so I guess I learned something in social studies after all. At least she stuck around though, unlike Hotdog Krasinski last year who we nervous breakdowned. Nervous brokedowned? Broked down? Whatever.

Stacey said that Carlos passed but Harvey didn’t see the ball, and it hit him in the face. It broke his glasses and nose and he lost a tooth and there was blood everywhere, and he crumpled like a third grader getting beaned with a baseball, which I actually saw happen to Dominic Courvoisier. And Jet Marlow said that Harvey shit himself from shock. I don’t know about that, ’cause Jet wasn’t there and he says everyone shits themselves all the time, but then other people started saying it too so I guess it was probably true. Anyway, Harvey cried, which you just don’t come back from.

He wasn’t in school today. If he’s smart he’ll move to a different city.

Stacey started repeating herself so we stopped listening, and then the bell rang. Science was next, but we had a sub ’cause Mr. Van Beekom said racist stuff again, so that meant it was skip o’clock. But just as I was about to leave, old lady Laveau waved me over. I was going to ignore her but she used that voice that’s like “I’m super concerned about this, and I don’t want to call your parents, but”. And anyway, Bachman and the rest of my friends were already out the door so it’s not like they’d see me.

But Laveau smiled when I got to her desk and she was like, “I really like the essay you wrote!”

And I was like, “Okay?”

And then she’s like, “I mean it. That part where you were talking about treading water? How you drifted away from the shore – I’ll assume that’s childhood, right? – and how fear of the future was like trying not to drown… That’s a great metaphor.”

And then I was like, oh my god. I felt embarrassed, but also like, there was this fluttering in my chest. Like, I think she actually read it. Maybe Laveau was all right, for a fascist.

I almost didn’t regret trying, but then she’s like, “I think you should write for the school paper. You have some real talent that you could develop.”

Pfft. Almost got me, old lady, but I’m not falling for that.

I caught up with my friends. I thought we were going to the mall but they’re all going to science after all and I asked why.

“Because,” Bachman said, “this new sub, man. Ms. Morgan.” He chef’s kissed. “She’s hot!” And the others all said the same thing, and then Boner O’Neill stuck his hands in his shirt and made tits, and we all laughed.

And then we went to science because we had to see her for ourselves.

***

Man, Ms. Morgan was all that and a bag of chips, and when she started talking about titrations we couldn’t stop laughing. Get it, tit-rations? Okay, it doesn’t sound like that, but it was still hilarious, and then Ronnie Cho said he was in love with her and then he got this face, like it was all red and his eyes were wide and Boner figured it out first – because of course he would – and then we really started laughing.

And then some of the girls figured out Ronnie had wood and they were all like, “Ew! Gross!”

And then Ms. Morgan was like, “Gentlemen, please.” And we settled down and I even learned something about science. I mean, okay, you need the minimum to pass their stupid tests, I guess. I could listen to Ms. Morgan. There were worse ways to spend eighth period, and okay, I felt kind of bad for hassling her. Maybe not all teachers were fascists.

Ronnie spent the rest of the class hunched over his desk, trying to disappear, and I didn’t bug him because it could happen to anyone, and anyway, we’d give him shit for it later. Then bell rang and we all started packing up.

I saw Linda Armistice talking to Ms. Morgan, but then Linda came to me and I dropped my book. I’m not afraid of Linda, but like, I kinda am, if you know what I mean? She’s a total teacher’s pet. But she’s also that kid. Honour-everything, advanced-placement-everything, award-winning-everything. She tries, she gets judged, and she wins. And she makes all the rest of us look like butts.

She walked up to me, hugging her textbook, shaking her head. She ran her tongue along her new braces. “You guys are so immature.” And like, what the hell! She’s younger than me but she sounds like a mom!

Well I’ve always been quick on my feet and came back with the perfect comeback.

“Whatever.”

Linda rolled her eyes. “I wish you were better.” She started leaving, but then something hit me. It was like… this weird little shot of guilt, or something? It’s all ’cause of stupid Laveau’s stupid idea.

“Wait!” I said.

What.

“You’re, um… you’re the editor of the student paper, aren’t you?” I was stalling. I knew she was. Everyone knew it, because she’d never shut up about it. “What would I do if… you know… I wanted to write…”

Her face lit up like it was a birthday – I mean, you know, back when birthdays mattered. We were too old for that stuff now.

She was like, “Oh my god!” She tore through her backpack and pulled out a stack of pamphlets. “I’m so glad you asked!” She shoved one into my hand. It was covered in clip art, and the title read ‘Get You into the Styoudent Paper!’

Gross.

“So, like, everything you need is in here?” she said. “But, like, it’s real easy, okay? Just, like, write something and submit it by Tuesday, and then we’ll take a look at it? Okay? And then if it passes our rigorous journalistic standards? We’ll publish it for the Thursday edition? Okay?”

“Okay.” I was already regretting asking.

***

It was Friday, so we all met at the park after school. Bachman had got his hands on a cigarette, and the three of them were already passing it around by the time I caught up.

Bachman was saying he knew a guy, couple years up and a school over, that could get us a doobie. I didn’t know what a doobie was, but I know I wanted one. When my turn came up for the cigarette I took a little puff and then immediately started coughing. That’s how you know it was a good cigarette.

I was still holding the pamphlet in my hand, stupid me, and Boner snatched it while I wasn’t looking.

“What the hell?” he said, and then laughed. “You writing for the paper, nerd?”

“No.” Oh my god. I wasn’t really gonna. And they weren’t supposed to find out.

“I like the paper,” said Bachman. “Especially those comics Walid makes.”

“Oh, holy shit!” said Boner. “Yeah, those are hilarious. Man, that guy draws good.”

“Yeah, wish I could do that,” said Ronnie.

“Good on you,” said Bachman, and it took me a moment to figure out he was talking to me. And later on I realized, that was it. They didn’t really rag on me, which was weird, but okay.

“What are you gonna write about?” asked Boner.

“Oh my god!” said Bachman. “You should write about Ms. Morgan’s tits!”

Then we all laughed.

“Oh my god, you guys,” said Ronnie. “She’s so hot!” He was totally in love with her, just like he was totally in love with Nina de la Cruz last week, and friggin’ April from Ninja Turtles since forever.

Then we all made air tits and laughed and finished the cigarette. Later on I went home and felt pretty good about writing something. It wasn’t going to be about Ms. Morgan though, that’d never get past Linda. And besides, I wanted to write something that would count, something that would shake up the world and change things.

***

On Sunday, I realized I had signed up for voluntary weekend homework.

Damn it.

But… man, I hate to admit it, but I actually kind of liked writing the piece. I think I had a really good idea, and on Thursday everyone would see it. They’d call me a hero.

***

On Monday we learned Ms. Morgan would be with us for at least a few weeks, as Mr. Van Beekom really shit the bed this time. Some people said he even got fired, and Danny Eidelbaum’s step-dad’s cousin worked with the school board, so he would know. Only, Danny said he hadn’t heard anything either way, so he couldn’t tell us. Needless to say, none of us were going to skip eighth period science.

I spent lunch in the library typing up my submission, and then put it on a floppy, just as Linda’s pamphlet said to do. After science, I tracked her down and handed it to her.

“Oh, cool!” she said. “Thanks so much!”

My job was done. Now all I had to do was wait till Thursday.

Man, those were the longest days of my life. I didn’t want to tell anyone about my work because I didn’t want to spoil it, but waiting was hell.

But it was so good! I was going to change the world. I wrote a story about kids in a prison. It’s like a metaphor, ’cause school’s like a prison, and we’re the kids in the story. Get it? It was called “The Student’s Struggle”. I had characters based on all the people I know, kind of moping around, until a leader kid came along. Oh, and like the wardens? They’re the teachers. They’re keeping the kids down.

So this leader comes along, and he writes this book about his struggles and the prisoners all pass it along in secret until they all see that he’s the guy who’s going to lead them to freedom, ’cause he’s been through it all and he knows what to do. I kinda based him on myself. And isn’t that the coolest thing ever!? A story where a character in the story writes another story!

Anyway, so the kids all band behind the leader, and he leads them in a glorious revolution and they take over the prison. But he’s a hero, right? He knows there’s other prisons around the world, so he vows to hunt down all the teachers, so that all the kids would finally be free, so that they’d have all the space they needed to do whatever. It’s hopeful like that.

Oh man, I couldn’t wait.

***

Thursday!

I couldn’t believe it, but I actually got to school early. And I didn’t even care! The papers were normally near the front doors, by the office, and I got there as Linda and some of the others delivered them.

I grabbed one and flipped through it. I skipped past the announcements for next week, but I did stop at the Walid comic. Hilarious as usual! I bet he’s going to do professional comics one day. Then I flipped on to the student submissions.

And you know what I saw? Ronnie Cho ended up submitting a piece. He called it Fata Morgana, whatever that means, and it looked like some kind of lovey-dovey fairy tale poem thing, only as I read on I became pretty sure it was about Ms. Morgan. I mean, it actually wasn’t bad, but holy crap. I think he really was in love this time.

I kept flipping, looking for my own piece.

And I came to the end of the paper, without seeing it.

“The hell?” I said. I flipped through the paper again, and again I didn’t find it. I checked the table of indexes or whatever, and it wasn’t in that either. When I looked up I saw the others had dispersed. I only saw Linda down the hallway.

“Linda!” I ran after her.

She turned around, and she had this weird smile. “Oh, hi.” It’s like she had just come across a kindergartner who fell off his trike and didn’t scrape his knee, but was bawling anyway.

“What the hell! Why’s my story not in the paper?”

“Well,” she said, drawing it out. “It just wasn’t that good.”

I felt like she kicked me, and I wasn’t wearing a cup.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “But, like, there’s spelling errors everywhere? And, like, it’s like seven pages long but there’s only five line-breaks? And, like, the dialogue tags are all wrong? You’re supposed to put the comma inside the quotes?”

Each condemnation, another kick.

No, my story’s good. I had to fight back.

“But you published Ronnie’s poem! It’s about Ms. Morgan’s tits!”

“I know,” she said, looking up at the ceiling like she was weighing things. “But the imagery really is very vivid, and he has a sublime grasp of lyrical language. And while it’s about Ms. Morgan’s tits, it’s also about all of us, don’t you think? Like, it really hits some deep life meanings. It would have been a crime not to publish it.”

I… I didn’t know what to say. Unfortunately, Linda wasn’t done.

“And,” she said, frowning, “frankly, I’m not sure about the subject matter of your story. The main character kind of sounds like Hitler.”

I couldn’t breathe.

“We don’t want the paper to promote fascist propaganda, y’know?”

That’s what I get for trying. Judgement. Failure. Loser.

“Listen,” she said. “Not everyone gets published the first time around. I didn’t. Frankly, it takes a lot of work. I think there’s some good stuff in your story, and you definitely have some great skills. Why don’t you come by writing club? We can help each other learn.”

Wait. Me? And Linda? Help each other? Maybe… maybe I wasn’t a loser, just ’cause I tried. Maybe there was more to life than just win or lose. And maybe me and Linda could figure it all out… in writing club… together.

Then she’s like, “My boyfriend’s really good at dialogue tags. He can help you out.”

Damn it!

July 18, 2022 01:06

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79 comments

L.C. Schäfer
22:45 Jul 24, 2022

This has an autobiographical feel 😏 I love it. The voice is bang on. And the "floppy" made my day.

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Michał Przywara
01:00 Jul 25, 2022

Heh :) Parts of it are definitely inspired by some real events, just not in this order, and all of these people are fictional. It's kind of a Frankenstein's monster of memories sprinkled liberally with fiction. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Zoë Page
10:53 Jul 24, 2022

Awesome, funny read. I love the diary talk, especially in sentences like this "unlike Hotdog Krasinski last year who we nervous breakdowned. Nervous brokedowned? Broked down? Whatever" and "Her face lit up like it was a birthday – I mean, you know, back when birthdays mattered." The narrator tries so hard to be that cool kid until he talks to Linda, and it's amusing to see his struggle. It's good how he doesn't change completely after being shaken up. He's still the same person, only his attitude has been changed. After all of it, he's st...

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Michał Przywara
00:58 Jul 25, 2022

Thanks so much! Yeah, "tries so hard" is right on :) Trying so hard to not appear like they're trying at all. It was a weird time of life. I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Thanks for the feedback!

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Mavis Webster
21:43 Jul 23, 2022

This story immediately brought me back to my middle school days... granted, I'm only in college now, so not that old, but still. The dialogue and overall vibe captured the whole "immature teenage boy," idea very well. Definitely my favorite lines (that also genuinely made me laugh) were these: Wait. Me? And Linda? Help each other? Maybe… maybe I wasn’t a loser, just ’cause I tried. Maybe there was more to life than just win or lose. And maybe me and Linda could figure it all out… in writing club… together. Then she’s like, “My boyfriend’s...

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Michał Przywara
22:26 Jul 23, 2022

Thanks, Mavis! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) "immature teenage boy" is precisely what the goal was. The story is fiction, but parts of it are inspired by real experiences and observations. Those years seemed like a natural fit for the prompt, once the idea occurred to me. I appreciate the feedback :)

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Mavis Webster
02:52 Jul 29, 2022

I'm looking forward to more of your stories ;D

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Kelsey H
08:43 Jul 23, 2022

This is great, I love the narrators voice so much, such a realistic feeling teenager. I don't think I have ever smiled so much at a story on here. The descriptions of high school really took me right back to being there and how the fascination with gossip and sex and what other people say and think seems so important the education can feel really secondary to it. Also I love all the times he suggests he is going to skip class but still ends up going, typical teenage boy bravado. There are so many details which are just perfect, such as the...

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Michał Przywara
19:18 Jul 23, 2022

Thanks, Kelsey :D I really appreciate you leaving your feedback, it's made my day! It's good to know when something works. You picked up on all the things I was hoping to convey. And "teen boy bravado" -- I think I had this at the back of my mind while writing it, as a nebulous idea, but yeah, that's exactly the right term for it. Big talk, audacious talk, who could boast the most -- and all was fine unless you got called on it. Then you had to throw down, or throw up, whichever way the wind blew. > As soon as he started talking about how...

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Suma Jayachandar
06:06 Jul 23, 2022

"Teachers are basically fascists" and, " I thought we were going to the mall but they’re all going to science after all and I asked why." 😂 Michal, these two lines basically tell you all about the MC's orientation (or lack of it ) in high school. And everything that unfolds from there on can only be attributed to the natural progression of the character. I thoroughly enjoyed the voice of this no-good, working hard in his dreamland and clumsy high-school kid( which is pretty much every high-schooler). Thanks for sharing.

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Michał Przywara
19:04 Jul 23, 2022

Thanks, Suma! Yep, I think you got the character :) Perpetually clueless, but unable to admit it, sounds about right. It was fun to write about, though I don't think I'd want to go back to those years.

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Aeris Walker
03:57 Jul 23, 2022

Is there anyone more ambivalent than a pre-teen? (I did not read all the comments, so I'm sure all of my sentiments have already been expressed.) I am so impressed by how you jumped into this character's world and so naturally expressed their thoughts and their voice in a style I would absolutely believe was a journal entry from 2002, or rather a thread of AIM messages sent over dial-up. The main character is so believable, and I love his thought process as he waits to hear back about his writing. I think all of us, especially in early writi...

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Michał Przywara
18:57 Jul 23, 2022

> it "has potential." Ha! Yes, that is definitely a lovely moment in life, one we all get to struggle with. Ego vs reality. You got everything I was going for :) And I'm so glad the voice was believable. Thanks for reminding me of dial-up, too. All those lovely moments where someone else would decide to make a phone call, and your internet capped out :P :) There's probably more stories in that. I appreciate the feedback, Aeris!

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Zack Powell
15:48 Jul 22, 2022

Really fun story, Michał! The voice is authentic, the characters are fun, and the struggle is real. Usually when I read stories on here, it takes me quite a while between my short attention span and taking notes to leave these comments, but this one just flew by. So smooth that I forgot I was reading by the first line break. Great job here. Technical level stuff: The narrator's voice is my favorite thing about this piece. Literally sounds like it was written by a teenager, with the similes and some of the dialogue tags (love the use of "I w...

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Michał Przywara
21:21 Jul 22, 2022

"So smooth that I forgot I was reading by the first line break." Man, that just made my Friday :D You picked up on everything I was going for, and then some. Honestly, the past tense + correct dialogue tags was a happy accident, though I suppose like bits and pieces of this story, inspired by real life events. I don't know what it is, but that dang comma seems to consistently trip people up. I'm glad the humour landed. Back then, it was definitely crude and juvenile, but that was its charm too. I ended up changing the tags. Somehow I mis...

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Zack Powell
15:14 Jul 29, 2022

Congratulations on another shortlist, Michał! I was totally expecting you to win, but recognition is recognition, right? Well deserved!

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Michał Przywara
20:53 Jul 29, 2022

Thanks, Zack! Yep! I'm not going to turn my nose up at a shortlist :)

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Lisa Lange
14:12 Jul 22, 2022

The dialogue, the reactions, really put the reader there during that age, the struggles, the interactions. Well done! Such a fun read!

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Michał Przywara
21:04 Jul 22, 2022

Thanks so much :) It's definitely a funny time in life. At least, looking back on it. In the heat of the moment it could be pretty stressful. I appreciate the feedback!

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Betty Gilgoff
23:11 Jul 21, 2022

I like what you did with the prompt in this Michal. I tried writing with this same prompt this week and really had trouble with the idea of the ambivalence being pathological, but I think it works here, amongst teenagers. Nice work on the characters too, created so well with the dialogue. I think you nail the outward nonchalance, with the simultaneous lack of confidence and need to belong, so common to that particular age group. I'm sure every reader will see themselves in there somewhere. I know I did for sure. I'm thoroughly enjoying rea...

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Michał Przywara
01:23 Jul 22, 2022

Thanks, Betty :) You know what? When I first saw this prompt I also skipped it. I thought "ambivalence? that's about the worst thing to put in a story." Right? Who wants to read about a character who doesn't care, who doesn't have desires. It's hard to generate meaningful conflict for someone like that. But somewhere along the way it hit me -- teenagers, of course. Actually, I was also reminded of something I read in Dr. Carol S. Dweck's book, Mindset, about what she called "Low-Effort Syndrome". This often hit young people at that transi...

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Cindy Strube
17:31 Jul 21, 2022

Oh, the Junior High vibe… poor kids! The MC voice was, like, really cool. Also, Linda? She’s perfect. Those had to be the most miserable 2 years of my life. I only survived it because I loved my Spanish class and (weirdo!) history, which was an 8th grade elective class. Teacher’s nickname was King Henry VIII. I made good grades in classes I liked, and didn’t care about the other ones - so I get it!! “Teachers are basically fascists, so I guess I learned something in social studies after all.” Great line, along with its followup “Maybe not ...

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Michał Przywara
21:10 Jul 21, 2022

Yeah, it's such a rude time of life, where the easy order of childhood is discarded and everything changes, at the same time we start seeing the first hints of how wide and wild the world is. All that crap leads to a frustrating time :) Thanks for sharing the anecdote! I'm sure most people have similar stories. I'm not proud of it, but the nervous breakdown part was partly based on real events, though it had never been our goal. We were just little craps, and in retrospect, I have tremendous respect for any teacher that ventures into the cr...

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Cindy Strube
15:27 Jul 29, 2022

Another shortlist! 👊 Congratulations!

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Michał Przywara
20:53 Jul 29, 2022

Thanks! :D

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Tommy Goround
00:51 Jul 21, 2022

1) I like to remind other people that we should try to be closer to you with very upbeat comments that show that you read the story. You are a real class act. 2) your ability to change voice in almost all of your stories is pretty awesome.

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Michał Przywara
02:42 Jul 21, 2022

Thanks a lot, on both counts :) I find writing those comments helps me make sense of stories, and to get a grasp of what works and what doesn't. Considering the crazy amount of talent on this site, there's a lot of people to learn from. And I'm thrilled to hear the voices are coming through well. It's something I've been playing with more mindfully of late, so its good to know I'm on the right track. I appreciate the feedback, as always :)

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Riel Rosehill
23:35 Jul 20, 2022

"And isn’t that the coolest thing ever!? A story where a character in the story writes another story!" YES!! 🤩 And I love that this is said by the character in the story who writes a story about a character writing a story 😂 These kids are chaotic, and the story reads like how I imagine the MC would write his diary if he had one 😃 The ending was fun, and it was a great way to set the time by throwing a floppy in there. Not seen one since 2005 or so!

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Michał Przywara
02:31 Jul 21, 2022

Ha, yeah, this is definitely diary talk :) Though you're probably right, I also doubt he keeps one. Floppy disks were an era, for sure :) I'm just glad someone gets the reference, maybe it isn't quite the ancient history I thought it might be. I wanted a break from cellphones, as they make things too easy for the characters.

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K.T. Jayne
14:33 Jul 20, 2022

So funny, loved the self-referential moments. A really entertaining and uplifting story and the characters were so authentic, I felt transported back in time.

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Michał Przywara
21:01 Jul 20, 2022

Thanks, K.T.! I'm very glad to hear it sounded authentic :) Been a while since I was that age. Thanks for the feedback!

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K.T. Jayne
09:50 Jul 21, 2022

Been a while for us all! Haha.

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Andi Hyland
00:45 Jul 20, 2022

Your main character was so believable. Your pacing, flow, and dialogue were great. Really enjoyed your story.

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Michał Przywara
01:40 Jul 20, 2022

Thanks, Andi! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Murray Burns
20:31 Jul 19, 2022

A rare blend of Holden Caufield and Jake Harper? I will be looking for "nervous breakdowned" to be added to Webster's. During my long ago high school years, only girls took typing. Then Miss Townsend arrived. Suddenly half the guys in the school wanted to take typing. The motivation was pretty obvious to everyone.

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Michał Przywara
20:55 Jul 19, 2022

No doubt :) I'm sure many people have similar stories. If something of mine ever makes it into a dictionary, I'll call that a win. Thanks for reading, Murray, and for leaving your thoughts!

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Chris Campbell
05:22 Jul 19, 2022

Unrequited love, schoolboy fantasies, rejection, and comraderie. You just about summed up life at school. The freedom to write at a young age lagged behind me for at least a decade after school, slowly catching up to the point that I'm now excitedly chasing the stories. I liked this. Brought a few ancient memories to light. Well done, Michal.

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Michał Przywara
20:45 Jul 19, 2022

Yup, that's definitely what I was going for :) I'm glad you enjoyed it, Chris! I didn't really pursue writing at that age either, but it's one of those lovely hobbies that you can pick up and develop at pretty much any stage. I appreciate the feedback :)

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L. E. Scott
00:49 Jul 19, 2022

I feel for your main character. Good job. Really felt like a young apathetic student just going through the motions hoping to survive school. Good job.

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Michał Przywara
01:42 Jul 19, 2022

Thanks, L. E.! You definitely got what I was going for. Hopefully by the end he was knocked out of the apathy a bit, and saw there was value in trying, but who knows. That's a battle we all have to fight on our own terms. I appreciate the feedback :)

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Scott Skinner
23:25 Jul 18, 2022

I love the ending of the story. As I was reading, I was like, I hope the story doesn't get in the newspaper because that would be like real life, and the fact that it didn't was perfect - it met my needs. I think it also says something about your writing; you set this character up in a way that I wanted them to fail - not in a mean way - I didn't dislike the character - but I just had this gut hope that they wouldn't get published the first time and when it didn't happen, I was fulfilled lol YOU did that! I enjoyed your use of question mark...

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Michał Przywara
01:16 Jul 19, 2022

Yeah, if the story made it in on the first try, it would have been too easy :) These poor unfortunate fictional characters of ours... we give them nothing but stress and obstacles. Actually, that part might have been a little based in reality. I never did the whole school paper thing myself, but when I was younger I did have a bit of an unhealthy sense of entitlement, and there's nothing better than a slice of humble to cure that. You raise an interesting point with the parallel storylines. No doubt, lots of other stuff is happening in the...

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Jim Firth
09:19 Jul 18, 2022

Michał, What a fun read :) I liked Linda's question marks--they gave everything she said an upward inflection like she's questioning everything slightly, which is a good trait for a smart kid. The 'Try, judgement, failure, loser' thing is so universal for everyone who's been at school. But I like that when the narrator does actually try, his friends actually don't see it as uncool. Nice job!

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Michał Przywara
20:52 Jul 18, 2022

Thanks, Jim! Yeah, it was real fun playing with voices in this one :) You can get away with a lot of things you couldn't do if you were writing "as an adult", such as such as sprinkling "like" everywhere. > his friends actually don't see it as uncool. That's the other thing we all fall for, isn't it? We make way too big a deal of something in our heads, and reality is much less dramatic. I appreciate the feedback!

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Kevin Marlow
03:23 Jul 18, 2022

I can't do you justice, but great ode to budding youth, 'personhood?' So many great lines, if you were one of the 'good' bad kids that brought much flavor to the school years, you're still keeping the flame alive.

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Michał Przywara
20:47 Jul 18, 2022

Thanks, Kevin! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) > 'good' bad kids I like that. I don't know if I was either though. I certainly had my "trying is lame" phase though :)

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