A Matter of Pride

Everyone knew that Alexandra was bad news. Every single one of her neighbors, her classmates, her relatives, the elders, even people twenty towns over knew better than to believe that anything good could come from associating with her.

It had always been thus and would continue to be so until the end of times. Or until the apocalypse, which would be completely her fault and would lay waste to their entire civilization. Or so the prophet believed. And if the prophet believed it, so did everyone else.

Whatever. In her humble opinion, the Prophet needed their mystical eyesight checked. How could she, a nobody, whose parents were nobodies and descended from a whole line of nobodies, possibly have any influence whatsoever in the fate of humanity? No way.

She remained skeptical about the whole thing. When she had first been told why every person she came across went out of their way to shun her, she had refused to believe that the prophecy could refer to her. She had been so adamant that there had to be some mistake that she’d made her parents take her to the Temple to read that ridiculousness for herself. She had been convinced that there had been some error in the Prophet’s interpretation of their vision.

Her hopes were quickly shattered. It seemed that the powers that be had grown tired of having their warnings and desires misinterpreted, so, for the last century, the prophecies had become increasingly unambiguous.

So much so that, when Alexandra demanded to read her own prediction in the hopes of finding some other poor bastard to shoulder the blame, she was handed a small piece of paper instead of the lengthy parchment she’d been expecting.

When the world ends, it will be Alexandra Brown’s fault.

That was it. Ten words that didn’t leave much open to interpretation. She couldn’t even blame her parents for giving her that name, since the prophecy had appeared five days after she’d been born.

Still, this was probably their fault anyway. They must’ve done something to deserve the Gods’ anger.

But the general public didn’t seem to share her opinion. They were pitied for having to deal with the bringer of destruction for all mankind and it was she who was hated by everyone. Totally unfair. 

However, Alexandra was nothing if not stubborn. She was determined to prove them all wrong. In her worst days, she imagined their scared faces when she was faced with the inevitable choice of whether to kill them all or let them live. On her best days, she imagined the graceful and humble speech she would deliver after saving them all.

***

Sarah and Emmet Brown, for their part, firmly believed that it was totally within the realm of probability that their only daughter would be the one to cause the End of Times. 

Since she drew her first breath, she had been a force of nature. Things had to be done when and how she deemed appropriate and she always got her way. Many were of the opinion that this was because Sarah and Emmet Brown were weak when it came to their daughter and let her get away with everything but the Browns wanted it to be known that that was not the case at all, thank you very much.

They simply wanted to make life easier for her, she already had enough problems with everyone else because of this apocalypse business, the least they could do was to give her a peaceful home life. And if they sometimes were afraid that she would kill them both before killing the rest of the town if she didn’t get her way, well, that was nobody’s business and no one could prove anything anyway.

Still, they decided that they wouldn’t have any more children, just in case. 

***

And so Alexandra’s life at home was comfortable, if sometimes lonely. For obvious reasons, she chose to spend most of her time at home and in the woods that surrounded the town, where it was less likely that anyone would try to end her life before she could end theirs.

Alexandra thought that didn’t make sense. Wouldn’t it be better to treat her with kindness so that she would think twice before annihilating humanity? Call her biased, but she always believed that you catch more flies with honey. Maybe because she unfailingly got the vinegar.

In any case, to date, she had no intention of raining hellfire on anyone. And she’d been dealing with these people for almost nineteen years, she must be the most patient person alive. But, just in case, better not tempt fate. So that day, when she felt the need to get some air and get away from her parents for a while, Alexandra picked up her book and headed towards the woods. 

It must be said that this was not a particularly great moment for her. That morning, the baker’s son had decided that it would be funny to cover her in rotten eggs. The smell was still making her gag four hours later. It was enough to almost convince her that the end of the world was worth it if only to teach Danny Parker a lesson. 

She was so distracted thinking about all the ways to make Danny Parker regret ever being born that she didn’t pay attention to where she was going.

“-I’ll shove a whole dozen rotten eggs down his trousers, see how he likes that, the little disgusting toad, he will rue the day when he dies first, he should fear me, that arrogant little sh-AAAH!” 

Her feet were suddenly wrenched from under her and she fell face-first into the ground. She landed straight into a pile of horse excrement. Of course, because this day couldn’t get any worse.

“You should watch where you’re going, girl,” came a haughty voice from behind her.

When she turned to look over her shoulder, she saw an old man looking down his nose at her. He looked as though he was smelling something unpleasant which, in all fairness, he probably was. But the nerve! He didn’t even pretend to move towards her to help her from the ground. Didn’t even ask her if she was hurt, he just kept looking at her as if she should apologize for being in his way. Didn’t he know who she was?!

“You are the one who should watch himself, old man, before you regret it.” 

Admittedly, she wasn’t at her most menacing, covered in manure and flailing as she regained her feet. He should know, though, that she wasn’t someone to mess with. Once she was on her feet, Alexandra puffed her chest and stood to her full height. Granted, she didn’t look intimidating at all, but we can forgive her, she had never had to work on her intimidation skills before.

“You think you can threaten me, child? You should show some respect.”

The old man, on the other hand, could pull intimidation really well. If she had been someone else, she would’ve been at least a little afraid. But she was Alexandra Brown, destined to destroy all mankind, and even if she still didn’t believe she would do it, she was pretty sure that she would not be murdered before the time came.

“Whatever,” she blew him off. She wanted him gone so that she could concentrate on walking off her bad mood. “Get lost.” She made a rather rude gesture and started to go on her way.

Before she could walk more than two steps, the old man was suddenly in front of her, more imposing than before, and with red-glowing eyes? Weird, but okay, now she was pissed.

“Get out of my way before I make you,” she ground out between gritted teeth. 

“It seems that you humans are just as arrogant as ever,” he sneered.

What was it with this smug bastard? Who did he think he was? Also, ‘you humans’? And what was he, a cow? “Better run along now, old man, before I get really angry.”

“My patience is wearing thin, girl. Apologize and I might just be lenient in your punishment,” he said, pompously.

Clearly, he was older and more senile than she’d realized if he thought he could hurt her. If nothing else, she could easily outrun him. Maybe she should have turned around and walked away, gone back home before engaging in a posturing match with an obviously deranged senior citizen, but this was about pride now and she was still smarting from her morning adventures.

“Yeah? You and whose army?”, she asked in her most obnoxious tone (and it was plenty obnoxious, it had been known to make every adult that had ever encountered it want to kill her violently).  

As the old man’s sneer grew until it took over most of his face, he seemed to grow taller and taller until he covered the sun and all of the sky. Alexandra began to suspect that she should have indeed gone back home -never let it be said that she wasn’t a bright woman. 

Her suspicions were confirmed when the earth began to tremble and huge cracks broke the ground, a literal army of red-skinned, fire-breathing demons emerging from its vowels.

As the unholy creatures began to advance through the forest and towards her town, setting everything on fire on their way, Alexandra had a few seconds to consider what was going to happen before being engulfed by the flames.

Oops.