A SHADE APART

“That would be 4500 rupees.”

Her hands are trembling, she hastily removes her pocketbook and shuffles out some notes. She is in her mid 30’s, her eyes seem to be puffy and her hairs are messy. Beside her is a cute little damsel, must be 11 or 12 years old. She has beautiful chocolate brown skin with soft curls and big eyes. The woman seems to be a lot stressed, I couldn't control my curiosity.

I asked “ Mam is everything alright? Are you ok?

She replied “I craved for bread and tea when I was pregnant with her. But my mother in law said that for a fair child I should only eat rice and curd. For 9 months I had to kill my cravings so just, that I could get a beautiful and fair child. But I don’t know what went wrong”. She had tears in her eyes.

I couldn’t stop my urge to reciprocate “So these all brightening and whitening creams, these hair spa products is for an 11-year-old daughter?”

“It has to be. I'm the mother I have to make things right”

“No mam you are making things wrong. You have to appreciate your daughter for the way she is, you have to love her and make her realize she is beautiful. Being dark-skinned doesn’t mean you have to worry. It's a beautiful shade even Goddess Kali is dark and she's beautiful. Make your daughter love herself”

I could see the anger rising to her throat. She bangs the currency on the counter and says

“Will you for god sake give me the bill?

I tear down the receipt from the machine and give it to her. She catches her daughter by the wrist and drags her from the counter, but she stops her mom from her pace and turns towards me, and smiles. Like if she is thanking me for standing up for her.

I feel a rush of serotonin, making me realize that I have done something right.

“What was all the commotion about?”

“Nothing mom”

“Remember customers are like god to us” and places a hand over my shoulders.

“By the way Rox please go to the Keto brothers and finalize the weight loss capsule deal”

“Mom our so-called Brightening and whitening creams are a huge success. Why do you want this now?” I say with irritation.

“Rox I don’t want another argument here please go and sign the weight loss capsule deal”

“So it's true” we turn our heads towards the source of the voice.

It’s a young 16-year-old girl with love handles and chubby cheeks.

My mother speaks with excitement” yes it will be coming soon in our stores”

“yeah you know I was in so many diets but nothing worked. I do have a lot of trust in you”

“But why do you need it,” I ask.

She blushes a little and says “I want to fit into that dress”, she points through the glass screen towards a boutique across the street.

A beautiful pink dress that would fit malnutrition, woman.

“But I don’t think you need a dress to be beautiful. I love the way you are” I say abruptly.

Mom interrupts “She means that you will look more beautiful; after consuming our weight loss capsules”

The girl plasters a smile on the face and walks out of the store.

“Go off soon and put on some powder. You look so tan”

I rush towards the makeup room trying to join the dots of my turbulent emotions.

The flash of the camera catches my eye, a ad is being shot for our cream. All the girls are fair and if someone is not enough fair we increase the camera light intensity. And this propaganda is been happening for over 100 years.

It all started with my great-great-grandfather, opening a small shop of cosmetics. India was still under British rule at that time.

It was for the upper-class women who wanted to be just like the wive of British officers. From a sho it became a store then it became a brand and now it has a chain of stores all over India.

The British left us but couldn’t take away the color influence from us. Now in our country skin color has more value than actual brain capacity. For 100 years we have made women feel embarrassed for being olive or brown-skinned. Showing them that the true essence of beauty lies only in fair skin.

“Girls it's an emergency” I send the message in our wonder women group. Rue responded

“Yeah, it's an emergency here too. Come soon to our adda”

I put on my coat and rush towards the front door, Is ee my mother sigh seeing me. Yes mom I rubbed all my makeup off.

 I'm standing on the street looking at the dress previously pointed by the girl. Next to it is Aryaman selling the dress.

He always loves fashion and colors. He started to sell his designs when he was in college and now his boutique is a heartthrob of girls and brides.

He catches my eye and waves, I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. He mouths me to late call me, I nod.

I reach to “Nail Stacks’’ a nail studio of my friend rue. I see sia blowing her nose on a tissue I sit beside her and say “did you break up again”

“It's real this time Ok!” sia shouts.

“He said sia and him look odd as a couple” Rue exclaimed.

“He is terrible, why don’t you leave him Sia” I grunt.

“He's right ok I don’t watch what I eat, I put up extra kilos. Maybe I should have a makeover, do Rue's famous nail art. I will surely add spark in our relationship”

“You don’t understand Sia he's feeding on your insecurities. You don’t deserve him, You are beautiful just the way you are”

“Will you shut up Roxanne” she stands to leave,  I try to catch her wrist. I need space you better talk” and she stomps away.

“What's your emergency “ Rue asks.

“I'm going to leave the company”

“You have said it like for 1000 times this month”

“This time it's for real. I can't let these brands and social media make us feel bad about ourselves’’.

She slips her hand in mine and assures me with a nod. “I trust your decision, have you spoken to Aryaman about this?”

“I will for sure. He's called me 50 times since morning. Maybe even he needs to talk about something”

I don’t go to the meeting. I straightway drive up to my home. I know mother will be furious but I'm more furious than her.

I open the door and enter the hallway.

“Why did you cancel the meeting?”

“Because I know it will be another lie that you are going to sell”

“What's happening with you, are you nuts? Don’t you value our hard-earned money”

“Which money Mom? The money that we feed upon people insecurities. Making them hate their bodies telling them to change their fundamental beauty”

“Our products have been effective Rox. Women have become confident in using our products. It gives them power”

“ It has bleaches and chemicals in it, that damages the skin and hampers with their hormone system which ends up with Pcod in 45% of our customers.’’

“Look when I was married to your father my ambition was to thrive the business and I want you to do that same thing.”

“You know what mum, I quit.”

“Are you sure?”

“I want you to know about the consequences of your decision. If you stick to it then I won't support you or give you a penny from my side,” she replies.

“Deal” I shout and walk away.

I drive up to Aryaman's house to announce my life turning decision.

He kinda looks sad and confused.

“I was desperate to talk to you,” he says.

“What happened?’’

“You know my boutique is tied up with Versace, so they asked me to make clothes only for models and typical body sizes. When I entered fashion my dream was to make fashion available to everyone. But these body standards have corrupted the industry. So broke my contract with them and took my 50% share, now I don’t know what I should do”

"Well, even I have left my company."

"I'm happy for you and I know you have made the right decision." and pecks on my lips.

“Well, I have a mind-blowing idea.”

2 years later

I'm greeted by a round of applause, I bow down to my audience. It's my first Ted talk speech.

“I welcome everybody for enrolling for my talk. You all know me. I'm Roxanne Mukheerji founder of "ALL SHADE" makeup company. I'm the co-founder and co-director of the fashion line

"PLUS ARE WE". Where we make outfits and clothing for all shapes and sizes. My makeup company is for all shades of people, and we make people celebrate their bodies instead of hating them.

My journey started when a mom of an 11-year-old girl entered our shop".