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Asian American Contemporary Funny

Third Person POV

Kiyoko sat on the edge of her bed as she flipped through the last pages of her book. A book report was due the following week, but Kiyoko always turned things in on time.

β€œKiyoko!” She heard her Mother’s sharp voice cut through the silence of the room like a knife. β€œDownstairs, please.”

Kiyoko slid the bookmark in the book before calling, β€œComing!”, down to her Mother.

She slid down the railing of the stairs; something her Mother always scolded her for, but became a habit.

β€œKiyoko!!” Her Mother scolded.Β 

See? She knew it was coming.

β€œHaven’t I told you-”

β€œThat you’re too big to ride down the railing and it might break. You’ll fall down and crack your head open! Oh, Kiyoko. Listen, Mother knows best.” Kiyoko finished for her.

β€œAre you mocking me?” She scoffed.

Kiyoko nodded. β€œYes, Mother. You sound a lot like Mother Gothel from 'Tangled'.”

β€œYou really think I’m that mean?” She asked, offended by Kiyoko’s comment.

She shrugged, β€œI mean. . .”

β€œOh, Kiyoko. You’ve always been the misbehaved one of the family.” Her Mother sighed.

β€œAnyway,” Kiyoko said, moving on to the next topic. β€œWhy’d you call me down here? I have a book report to finish.”

β€œYes, I’ll let you get right back to it. But first, I need to ask you a favor.” She replied.

β€œWhat?” Kiyoko asked.

β€œFor tomorrow,-” She started.

β€œYeah, yeah. When you leave me home alone I am not to use the blender, stove, microwave, or pretty much anything in the kitchen. I’m also not allowed to shower until you get home.” Kiyoko interrupted, knowing Mother much too well.

Mother smiled. β€œI’m glad you remembered. But that’s not what I was going to ask you. What I was going to say is I need to leave the twins home with you tonight.”

The twins. Neko and Kai. Neko, older by twenty-four seconds, and Kai younger by twenty-four seconds. Both the same shaggy black hair that sits on top of their circle-round heads. Both wear the same clothes. Both fight over the same things.

β€œNot the twins!!” Kiyoko complained. β€œYou said you’d take them to daycare so I didn’t have to sit them!”

β€œYes, Kiyoko. I know what I said. But it’s two-hundred dollars for both of them for only six hours. Gosh, babysitting prices these days. Plus, Kiyoko, I’ll pay you one-hundred dollars if you order dinner, clean up the kitchen, bathe the twins, and get them to bed.” She argued.

One-hundred dollars of my own, Kiyoko thought. Sounds like a dream. I can finally pay for my new computer!

β€œOkay, I guess I could babysit them.”

Mother walked over to Kiyoko and smoothed the baby hairs popping out from her ponytail. β€œThat’s my girl.” She kissed her forehead and walked away.

***

After a few hours Kiyoko spent in her room doing her book report, it was finally time for Kiyoko’s parents to leave.

β€œBye, Kiki.” Her Father called her by her nickname as he leaned down and hugged her goodbye.

β€œKiyoko, remember the twins need to be in bed by-”

β€œEight, I know.” Kiyoko interrupted.

β€œGosh,” Her Mother said. β€œI hate that you interrupt me but it’s funny how well you listen.”

Her Mother slid on a mask as did her father and they left at that, closing the white oak door and leaving Kiyoko to deal with the twins.

***

Kiyoko’s POV

For the money, I thought.

β€œTime to pawty!” Neko said. His R’s always came out as W.Β 

β€œNo,” I said. β€œWe can have a little fun, but you can’t go destroying the house on me.”

Neko and Kai frowned. Kai spoke, β€œWhat can we do then?”

β€œLet’s start with dinner.” I suggested. β€œWant to order a pizza?”

β€œNo!!” Cried Kai. β€œI want to walk.”

I sighed, a long heavy sigh. β€œNo, Kai. I’m not walking with crazy six year olds to get pizza. And Mom isn’t here either. And it’s COVID. I’ll even let you pick the toppings.” I bribed.

Neko and Kai turned to each other before starting a chant. It’s like they had Twin Telepathy. β€œWALK! WALK! WALK! WALK! WALK!” They chanted.

β€œNO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” I mocked back.

They turned to each other again. β€œFine,” They finally gave in. β€œBut expect payback.”

I gave them a murdering glare if they even laid a finger on her bedroom door. And it seemed to give them the message.

I strided over to the phone where I picked it up and dialed the number for Antonio’s Pizzeria.

β€œHello?” Someone picked up the phone. β€œThis is Antonio’s, how may I help you?”

β€œHi,” I replied. β€œMay I please order a large pizza?”

β€œSure. Any toppings or just plain cheese?” He asked.

I looked at the twins and muted myself. β€œWhat do you guys want?” I asked them.

β€œPepperoni,” Kai said. β€œOoh, and olives, the black kind.”

β€œExtra cheese and bacon please!” Neko rhymed.

β€œYou’re a poet and you didn’t even know it.” I said back, and his eyes went wide like I’d told him I’d won the lottery.

β€œHello?” Asked the guy on the other end of the receiver.

β€œYes,” I said, unmuted. β€œSorry. Can we get pepperoni, olives, extra cheese, and bacon, please?” I asked.

β€œSure. Delivery or takeout?” He asked.

β€œDelivery, please. The address is 429 Abbey Way.”

β€œOkay. It should be done in ten minutes and the pizza will be $9.75.”

β€œThanks.” I said and hung up.

I looked up, expecting to see Neko and Kai but they were nowhere to be seen.

β€œGuys?” I said.

I let them choose the toppings and be extra nice to them, and this is how they repay me?

***

Neko’s POV

After Kiyoko had looked away from us and ordered the pizza, Kai and I made a run for it. We always hid behind the washing machine or the dryer in the laundry room. Also the broom closet on the third floor, the bushes that had been manicured to look like animals on the front lawn, etc.

But we needed a place Kiyoko would never look.

β€œCome on, little brother!” I called back to Kai as he struggled to keep up the pace.Β 

β€œ*pant* *pant, pant, pant* Where are we headed?” He asked.

β€œDo not fret little brother, I know best.” Little did he know, we were headed to the place even he wouldn’t go. The wine cellar.

I slowed down the pace to a walk and stopped myself in front of the wine cellar.

β€œNo!” Kai complained, stepping back from the cellar.

I crossed my arms. β€œDo you trust me?”

β€œAbsolutely not.” Kai said, without question.

I smirked at him. β€œYou know you love me.” 

Kai rolled his eyes. β€œNo, but if we’re going to get revenge on Kiyoko, we better do it now.” He said, walking over to the cellar and opening the door. β€œYou owe me big time.”

***

Third Person POV

Kiyoko had checked every possibility of hiding in the house. β€œUnless they were hiding in plain sight!” Kiyoko said, accomplishment washing over her.

She started to run around the house and look in plain sight, but again, they were nowhere to be found.

Outside, She thought, as she opened the front door.

From down below, Neko and Kai heard footsteps of their sister running in circles. And then they suddenly heard the door slam shut. That meant she was going to find them. Turns out, there is no place for hiding in the wine cellar.Β 

Kiyoko ran around the side of the house and opened the shed. No sign of the twins. Yet.

She ran to their treehouse. No sign of them.

Behind the patch of trees? The garden tomatoes? The grill? All had absolutely no sight of the twins. β€œThe cellar,” Kiyoko thought aloud, running to the vine-covered door that led to Neko and Kai.

***

Kai’s POV

I stared at the boxes, barrels and shelves of wine, trying to shove myself through a crack that would hide me enough from Kiyoko.

β€œAny luck?” Neko whispered in the darkness.

β€œNope.”

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Kiyoko was right above us.Β 

CREAK!

The door opened.

***

Kiyoko’s POV

Finally, I thought, opening the door and…

Nothing.

***

Third Person POV

Little did Kiyoko know that right when she was coming in, about to find Neko and Kai, the twins broke through the small cellar window and ran up into the house.

Kiyoko heard footsteps upstairs from down in the cellar. I thought I checked everywhere upstairs, though.

Meanwhile, Neko and Kai were planning to β€œGo destroying the house on her” as Kiyoko would say.Β 

Neko took the spray paint that his Father used when making artistic designs on canvases. They were mostly abstract and he sold them on Etsy.

Neko sprayed the walls with purple spray paint. He made swirls and lines. He drew flowers and balloons. And he signed it: Kiyoko.Β 

Neko dusted off his hands like he’d been through a hard day's work. β€œNow she’ll be blamed.”

Kai took the dare of slowly tip-toeing into Kiyoko’s room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her dolls on Kiyoko’s dresser. They were lined up and staring at him.

Kai quickly darted over to the dresser and slammed their faces down so they weren’t looking at him. And then he started the master plan.

***

Kiyoko’s POV

As soon as I heard the thumping of the twin’s feet, I darted out of the wine cellar. But just as I was leaving, a thick shard of glass cut my foot.Β 

I shrieked. It cut so deep.

I looked up to see where in the world the glass was coming from and saw that there was a broken window. That’s how those little monsters got out of my reach. I thought.

After pulling the glass shard out of my foot and limped up onto the front porch of the house and darted inside.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Everything was dirty and trashed, but this surprised me even more. It enraged me.

Someone had taken the comforter off my bed and laid it on the stairs.Β 

***

Mother’s POV

After a night of a nice dinner and a movie, free of the twins and Kiyoko, I was ready to go back home.

John, (Kiyoko’s father), hopped in the passenger seat and I started to drive through the unexpected thunderstorm. I hoped the kids were okay. But they were sleeping, right?

We pulled into the driveway, and as soon as I looked up, a shower of gratefulness washed over me. Kiyoko had done an amazing job. The blinds were closed. The outside of the house wasn’t scattered with toys of the twins. The upstairs lights were turned off which signaled that the twins were asleep.

John and I stepped onto the front porch and walked inside.

***

Third person POV

Mother couldn’t believe her eyes. Neither could Father. Neither could Kiyoko. But the twins were smiling.

***

Father’s POV

I was going to kill Kiyoko for letting the twins get into my spray paint. That stuff for many reasons I do not know, cost a fortune. And it was all over the walls!Β 

Neko was at the top of the stairs in front of Kai and he looked like he was going to roll down them. On Kiyoko’s bedding.

***

Mother’s POV

There were traces of blood all over the white plush rug I had centered in the living room. And it was coming from Kiyoko’s foot.

And the twins. Those monsters who happened to be my crazy little babies at the moment, were about to kill themselves by sliding down the stairs.

Oh, and not to mention the rest of the house. The living room bookshelves had many books falling out of the shelves and scattered over the floor.

The kitchen had pots and pans dented and thrown all over the place. And is that spaghetti sauce on the counter?

***

Third person POV

Neko started a countdown in his head. Three, two, one!

β€œSTAIR SLIDE!!” He shouted and then lunged for the stair as he slid- no, toppled, all the way downstairs.

Kai followed, but since the bedding was kind of tangled around Neko, he sorta jumped on the stairs.Β 

Kai hacked and Neko laughed. Mother yelled and scolded Kiyoko and Dad was infuriated with the twins.

β€œALL OF YOU,” Mother yelled. We’d had the last straw. β€œGROUNDED FOR A MONTH. JUST KIDDING!” She laughed evilly. β€œFOR ETERNITY!!”

August 03, 2021 13:49

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65 comments

TJ Squared
22:41 Aug 03, 2021

wowwwwwwwwwwwwww. Some little monsters I'd say. Gosh though. The switching of the POVs kinda made it fast paced and a bit hard to follow. I like the names a lot though, so very creative and original! I liked this line: β€œYes, Mother. You sound a lot like Mother Gothel from 'Tangled'.” That's what I thought when I read it lol A couple of small errors: "I gave them a murdering glare if they even laid a finger on her bedroom door. And it seemed to give them the message." --> I think you mean 'my' instead of 'her' "After pulling the glass...

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thanks, Wolf. You leave such helpful, so sweet comments. :) thanks. I liked that line too. I will edit those mistakes. I'm glad you enjoyed this!

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TJ Squared
01:10 Aug 04, 2021

I really do try :) I'm glad I read it lol

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Svara Narasiah
01:11 Aug 12, 2021

Wow! The twins remind me of my own little brother πŸ™ˆ you’re such a good writer, and the ending was funny (though I do hope they’re not really grounded for eternity) And you’re twelve! I’m honestly not surprisedβ€”so many young writers are really really good. It’s great to meet another one :) happy writing! Ohβ€”and I also submitted a character for your forum :D

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Oh, haha! Thank you so much! They probably aren't grounded for eternity, but Kiyoko's Mom was very mad in the moment. I am twelve! That means a lot more than you'll ever know. :) Happy writing to you too, Svara! P.S. Thanks, I have got SO MANY answers to that form, so yours could be next or maybe in the next couple of my stories, but I'll tag you when I use your character!! Thanks!!

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Annalisa D.
02:41 Aug 05, 2021

This was a really fun story. I feel so bad for her watching those twins! What a handful. You did a great job with the dialogue. I really liked the mother/daughter conversations especially. They had great humor.

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Thank you, Annalisa! I love that you enjoyed the mother/daughter conversations. One of my favorite lines was "You sound like Mother Gothel"! :)

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Jon R. Miller
08:22 Aug 28, 2021

Oh my! What a pair of rascals! Hee hee. I enjoyed reading this a lot. It made me smile. :>

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Yes, rascals indeed!! I'm glad. :D -Bella

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23:51 Aug 26, 2021

Gooooooooooooood joooooooooooooooob

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Thaaaaaaaaaaaank yoooooooooooooooooou! lol -❀- 𝔹𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒

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Dhwani Jain
13:52 Aug 11, 2021

Do you ever have this weird thought where you think you might've run into someone of Reedsy before? Really?! I want to meet someone from Reedsy in real life, but I can't because : 1) Most of the people I know here are from America and I live in India 2) Even if I COULD meet people from India, the lockdown is still prevalent here, so I can't 3) I am pretty sure I live faaaaaaaaaaaar away from even any Indian Reedsy-er.... *Sigh* These are the times I wish I had Doraemon's Any Way Door.....

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Haha! Maybe there are more Indian Reedsy-ers you just don't know about. Or what if you ran in to them when you were younger?

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Dhwani Jain
15:59 Aug 11, 2021

Yeah...that would really be weird.

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Dhwani Jain
16:26 Aug 11, 2021

Have you ever met anyone who's on Reedsy?

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No, but I think it'd be cool to! Or maybe I have but I didn't know they were on Reedsy! A few of my friends are on Reedsy too. I've obviously already seen and talked with them in person. :)))

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Dhwani Jain
10:09 Aug 08, 2021

I am going to be taking a break from Reedsy...check my bio for more.

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Aww, I did. I will keep reading, commenting, and really wishing you'd write! But I know you're busy. Can't wait for you to come back so I can read more of your stories!

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Dhwani Jain
02:55 Aug 09, 2021

=D <3

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Dhwani Jain
10:19 Aug 11, 2021

NEW STORY!!!!!!!!!! CHECK IT OUT ON MY BLOG BEFORE YOU CAN READ IT ON REEDSY. THE STORY WILL BE AVAILABLE SOON ON MY BLOG AND I WILL UPDATE IT ON REEDSY TOO.

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Dhwani Jain
13:08 Aug 11, 2021

Yeah, thanks for reading. I have seen and commented on your comment. πŸ˜‰

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Hey Bella! thx for the follow! 1. Ur dog is so adorable! :D And llamas are amazing! 2. Loved this story so much! Normally, I don't like funny stories, but urs changed my mind<33 Loved the tangled reference as well! And how we can see what all the characters were thinking as well as an overall. And I would agree with the others that it was a bit fast-paced but still i think its great effort for sure. And the names are lovely! And great idea to write this during covid too! 3. I see ur an animal lover(so am i), so would u mind signing my pet...

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You're welcome for the follow! Aww, thanks! I'm glad I could change your mind for reading funny stories! I love them because they make me laugh and they are fun to write. Ok! I will work on the pacing of the story next time. I love creating characters and their names! Yes, I thought it could be cool to do this during covid. Yes I am an animal lover! Aww, poor cows! I will! -Bella

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:)) Of course! LOL, u sure did! Same! I love to create characters too! Im working on a novel so i need to create so many characters lol. that was cool! :)) TY so much for ur support!

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Oh cool! I'm also working on a novel. :) You're welcome!

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It is about friday the thirteenth. Basically, if you are born on the thirteenth, you are born with magical powers. But there is a lot of hate and discrimination against people with powers. You have to hide who you really are. It's told from the POV of one of the girls who has superpowers. And then they have to rebel against almost the entire world (They have some help. :)). What is yours about?

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Charli Britton
00:00 Aug 06, 2021

XD As a babysitter myself, I feel that. I saw that you had followed me and I clicked on this story while checking out your profile, because my siblings were little deamons today. I like your story overall, particularly how relatable in a sense it was, and I liked the Tangled reference and certain aspects of your story. I feel like there is a lot of dialogue though, and that it could be broken up with a bit more description/thoughts. It was great though! I can't wait to read more of your stories, I hope you will take the time to read mine, ...

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Haha! Sometimes siblings are like that. :) I'm glad you could relate with this story. I thought the Tangled reference was funny, and it added a nice touch to the story. I also think that Kiyoko's mother sounds a lot like Mother Gothel. I agree with you that I could've broken up more of that dialogue. I'm not the best at dialogue, but I like writing conversations. Some are not needed though, so I need to work on that. I will definitely take the time to read, comment, and like your stories, Charli!! Don't we all appreciate the feedback? It ...

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Charli Britton
12:28 Aug 06, 2021

It really does help us grow. :)

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Dhwani Jain
16:26 Aug 06, 2021

New Story! Reviews are appreciated!!!

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Dhwani Jain
03:23 Aug 07, 2021

Thanks

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