Finally

He’s kissing a brunette.

She’s beautiful.

She’s slimmer than I will ever be.

He runs his hands over her body in a way he has never done to me.

They’re giggling in between passionate kisses, seeming like they enjoy it too much.

I scream.

They break apart and stare at me in horror.

Dallas’s face starts to shrink and enlarge.

Her face starts turning blue.

The floor is opening into a black hole, and I’m being sucked in.

I don’t let go of her neck.

I wake up, screaming. Dallas holds me in his arms and rocks me, slowly shushing me.

“It’s okay Millie, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here.”

But I can’t unsee that.

He was kissing someone else.

My fiancé was cheating on me.

I know that it was just a dream, but it seemed so real.

Too real.

I hold on to him tighter, smelling his husky scent and feel my breathing calm down.

“Are you feeling better now, bub?”

I just nod against his chest, feeling my eyes well up at the thought of Dallas seeing someone else behind my back.

He gently puts me down on the bed and kisses my forehead.

“Try to get some sleep Millie.”

I stay awake throughout the night.

***********

“My boss is throwing a party today at his place to celebrate his wife’s promotion, and he’s invited us. Do you have any classes today?”

I pull out my schedule and look through it. I teach high schoolers at the local tuition institute, and today is a school day.

“Nah, I’m free. We can go. I can’t wait to show everyone my ring.”

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and picks up his briefcase to go to work. I gaze at the simple, but elegantly cut ring, and think about wearing that shimmery green dress I bought a few days back.

I walk with him to the door, and wave goodbye, fascinated by the ring catching the sunlight.

I stand there for a while, thinking of how lucky I am to have a partner like Dallas when I’m once again reminded of that woman.

That brunette.

As the crystal-clear images flit through my mind for not the first time today, I’m once again struck by the fact that has been bugging me for so long: the fact that I never remember dreams for more than five minutes.

Why do I remember this specific one?

I shake my head to clear the chaos in my head and go back inside, shutting the door behind me.

“No more of that brown-haired she-devil. Just go and find your green dress, Millie.”

I obey the logical voice in my head and go upstairs.

***********

We hear faint music pumping from the door in front of us. I adjust the necklace so that it is perfectly falling over my collarbones. I pull at my dress and fix some strands of hair, and then nod at Dallas.

He looks absolutely gorgeous today, all dressed up with his brown hair slicked back and his perfectly ironed tuxedo accentuating his muscles.

As I think about what I would like to do to him if we were in a more private setting, he rings the doorbell, and we are immediately let inside by one of Dallas’s less-drunk colleagues.

The music is splendid, and so is the food and wine. Dallas introduces me to his boss, Peter, and his wife Diane. Me and Diane become fast friends as we talk about the most random things and make fun of our partners.

The doorbell rings, and Dallas gets up to open the door.

“Hey Leah! I was wondering if you would show, and here you are!” I hear him say, happily.

I hear them approaching, and I turn around.

My fork drops onto the plate, clattering loudly.

It’s her.

The brunette.

The brunette is real.

************

As the night goes on, Leah isn’t leaving his side. She keeps making excuses to touch him, whether it is to admire his tuxedo or stroke his biceps.

I say that I have to go to the bathroom, and I slowly move through the mass of people, feeling my heartbeat speed up with each second.

I open the door and lock myself inside.

My pale face stares back, the red lipstick contrasting sharply with the whiteness of my face.

I wash my face, the cold water calming me down for a moment.

My hands are shaking.

“But how? How are my dreams reality? How is that possible?” I ask my reflection, disappointed when I don’t receive a reply.

“Unless…unless they aren’t dreams at all.”

“Is it possible that-that they are memories?”

“Don’t be stupid, memories are only of the past.”

“But then how did the brunette lady come here?”

My internal voices fight it out for a few moments before I arrive at a conclusion.

I need to take Dallas with me and leave.

**************

“What do you mean we’re leaving? We just got here.”

“I’m not feeling well Dallas, you know how it gets when I drink too much wine.”

“But I’m having so much fun!”

“I think you’ve had enough fun Dallas, let’s go before your wine breath knocks me out.”

“Wait, let me say bye to Leah. You always ruin my fun.”

My future husband, ladies and gentlemen.

I go with him to the room that Leah is in, and I almost pass out.

It’s the room.

The room from the memory dream.

The room where I found them kissing.

I’m dazed as she hugs him, and then moves to hug me.

I wish I could strangle her now.

***********

“I’ll drive Dallas. You’re drunk.”

“You’re drunk.”

He’s such a baby.

***********

He’s taking off his ring. He’s throwing it on the floor. He’s making sounds but I can’t hear a thing.

“… I can’t marry you.”

He runs down the altar.

I follow him and trip on my dress.

As I fall and sprain my ankle, the flowers sit around me, almost mocking me.

He ran off.

On our wedding day.

As I watch, he holds his hand out, and Leah takes it, smirking at me.

I run to the bathroom, just in time before I throw up the entire contents of my stomach.

As I sit on the cold, slightly wet floor, panting and wiping the vomit from my hair and clothes, I’m now convinced that these aren’t dreams.

It’s a reality.

A reality that hasn’t happened yet.

But would he do it?

Would he leave me, his girlfriend of three years, for some random girl?

But I had seen how they had laughed and flirted during the party.

Would he leave me, the first chance he got?

Would he cheat on me, the moment a sexier girl appeared in his life?

Do I even love him?

**************

I walk down the aisle, my hand resting comfortably in my father’s arm.

I feel the beautiful dress flow behind me, and the flower petals beneath me.

Dallas stands at the altar, looking dashing and almost emotional.

Almost.

I reach the altar, and my father kisses me on the cheek.

As I walk up the stairs and take his hand, he looks at me happily.

As the minister begins talking, I watch as he subtly glances at Leah, and Leah nods at him with a smirk.

Oh, honey, you’re in for a surprise.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate.”

“Dallas Finneas Jackson, do you take this woman to be your wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?”

Before Dallas can reject me, I intervene.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but could you ask me first? I know that the ritual starts with the man first, but this is the twenty-first century. It surely doesn’t matter who starts it, and besides, we need to be empowering women more, don’t you think?”

As the whispers start among the guests and grow louder, Dallas looks at me angrily.

I just smile.

“Of course, dear. I must admit I haven’t done it before, but there is a first time for everything.”

I nod gratefully at the minister, and he smiles back.

“Millicent Grace Stevenson, do you take this man to be your husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?”

“I… don't.”

Gasps echo around the church.

“Because you never would.”

As I calmly take off my ring and place it in his hand, I look up at Dallas’s shocked face.

I lean in and whisper into his ear, “I give you my blessing to be with Leah.”

I take off my heels so that I don’t trip, and I pull up my dress and walk on the aisle, looking at my parents’ shocked faces.

I’ll explain it to them.

It will take time, but they’ll understand.

I look back one last time and wave at Dallas.

I’m all alone.

Finally.