The Spectacle(s)

Submitted into Contest #53 in response to: Write a story about another day in a heatwave. ... view prompt

71 comments

Funny

The weather can have a curious effect on human behavior. Motorists, for example, frequently lose all driving ability when it rains, and when the Summer heat descends, sanity often departs the scene. There is a well-documented correlation between temperature records and crime rates, after all, and even the most skeptical observer would be hard-pressed to attribute this to mere coincidence. For some unknowable reason, people do strange things when the mercury rises.



    That was probably the reason Ms. Moore decided on the Galleria D’Art Moderna as the destination for her grade 8 class field trip that year – the heat must have pickled her brains. The nuances of modern art are lost on most adults, so a bunch of 14-year olds could hardly have been expected to appreciate the works on display.

    To be fair to Ms. Moore, she’d been dying to visit the new gallery since its opening the month before, so her decision was likely a wily attempt to combine business and pleasure. Never a good idea, and so it proved for her. She had a torrid time keeping her rowdy class in line, and by the time they made an early departure shortly before lunch, she was as relieved to be rid of the place as the children.




*




    Tyler was feeling decidedly uneasy as he made his way down the stairs and out the building with the rest of his classmates. He’d enjoyed the gallery no more than his peers – his little sister’s finger paintings held more visual appeal the artwork on display – but that wasn’t the cause of his growing concern. Nor was it the heat, although its sapping effect, along with the sweat streaming down his nose, made concentrating on what was bothering him all but impossible. He had the vague but persistent nagging sensation one commonly experiences when something obvious has been overlooked. But, as he made his way towards the waiting school bus, Tyler couldn’t for the life of him think what it was.




*




    On the second floor of the gallery, Noah Brite was as unimpressed with the displays as the group of young students who’d just trooped past. But, unlike them, he had no hope of an early escape. His fiancee, Becky, had insisted on dragging him along on the ‘cultural outing’ and Noah had reluctantly agreed. The wedding was still weeks away, but he’d already learned the secret to a happy long-term relationship was the phrase: ‘Yes, Dear’.

    Noah was not an art connoisseur. The whole idea of modern art seemed like a joke to him. So far, he’d seen a painting that looked suspiciously like the artist had barfed all over it, a sculpture resembling a heap of scrap metal, and a blank canvas with only a tiny green dot in the upper lefthand corner. Calling any of this art was a stretch. He couldn’t understand why anyone would actually pay to see this stuff.

     And yet the gallery was packed. Maybe it was the heat. As far as Noah could tell, the only redeeming feature of the prestigious Galleria D’Art Moderna was the state-of-the-art airconditioning system. 

     He was busy checking his watch yet again, wondering if it was too early to suggest lunch, when Becky, flitting from painting to painting like some deranged hummingbird on a neverending nectar quest, stopped abruptly in the center of the corridor. She seemed to be examining something on the floor.

    Coming up alongside her, Noah saw a pair of red-framed reading glasses lying on the black-and-white checkered tiles. Becky wasn’t the only one transfixed by the sight – a small crowd of onlookers had already gathered.

    “Noah, look! Isn’t this incredible?”

    “Um, I don’t think that’s a display, Becks. It’s just a pair of glasses.”

    “Of course it’s a display, silly. Why else would it be in the gallery?”

    Noah was about to commit the fatal error of disagreeing with his fiancee when an older, distinguished-looking gentleman in a tweed suit stepped out of the growing crowd and spoke up. “She’s right, young man.”

    “She is?”

    “Yes, of course. The name’s Burns. Ed Burns. I’m an art historian and I must say, not only is this a fine piece of artwork, but it is also one of the most profoundly beautiful things I have ever seen.”

    “What do you mean?” Noah was thoroughly confused now.

    “Why, just look at it! Beauty, in the aesthetic sense, is merely a function of symmetry. Equal proportions are pleasing to the human eye. Notice the exact dimensions of the frame? Exquisite. I can’t believe I’ve never seen this piece before.”

    “It’s not symmetrical, though. Not perfectly,” Noah pointed out. “See the small crack in the lens over there?”

    “Ah, yes. But that is entirely deliberate, I can assure you. Think of the Mona Lisa, the most beautiful painting in the world. Da Vinci highlights the immaculate proportions of his subject’s face by including asymmetrical elements in the background - the horizon is higher on one side than the other. It’s a devilishly clever trick, and we see the same thing done here. The lack of symmetry in the lenses only serves to accentuate the perfection of the frame.”

    “I see,” Noah breathed. And he did. What Burns said made sense. Viewed in this new light, the spectacles did indeed seem beautiful.

    A young woman wearing glasses of her own stepped forward. “And notice the orientation,” she observed. “It’s facing East, towards the rising sun. That’s a powerful representation of the New Dawn concept of modern art, a symbolic representation of looking boldly to the future; of spiritual awakening. I’m an art student and I see this all the time, although never done with quite such skill and finesse as this. Remarkable.”

    Not wanting to be forgotten, Becky piped up, “What about its position on the floor? It’s straddling two tiles, see? Half on the black and half on the white. That seems significant… “

    “My god, you’re right!” Burns exclaimed. “The whole black-white duality dynamic, contrasting juxtaposition concept is clearly evident. Incredible! It’s been a prevailing theme in artwork for centuries, of course. We see it everywhere – yin and yang, day and night, good and evil. Its masterful inclusion here speaks to the artistic genius behind this piece.”

    Noah, more captivated by the display with every passing moment, voiced the obvious question. “But who is the artist?”

    The art student fielded that one. “Anonymous displays like this are quite common. It’s a practice dating back to the early Renaissance period when preeminent artists wanted their efforts to be assessed solely on merit. The creator of this masterpiece intended his work to stand alone; to speak for itself. I dare say he, or she, is quite famous. We are in the presence of one of the defining works of our generation, of that I’m certain.”

    Excited chatter broke out among the now large and still growing crowd.

    As Ed Burns and the art student began making hasty plans to collaborate on a book exploring the hidden meaning and powerful symbolism of the piece, Noah felt moved nearly to tears. It all made perfect sense. How had he not seen it before? So this was what art was all about. He was enraptured by the spectacular sight before him.

    When at last he allowed Becky to lead him away (it was well past lunchtime by then and she was getting hungry), he did so reluctantly, and only on condition that they return later for further viewing of the spectacle. Noah just couldn’t get enough of it.




*




    Out in the parking lot, as the school bus was pulling away, Tyler had finally realized what was troubling him. If not for the incessant heat, it would’ve come to him sooner, but his belated realization brought no relief - it was too late to do anything about it.

    He frantically patted his pockets to make sure, but he already knew they were empty. He’d lost his reading glasses. He was certain he’d had them on the bus that morning. They must have fallen out of his pocket somewhere in the gallery.

    Great, just what he needed. His parents were going to kill him.   




***



August 05, 2020 14:28

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71 comments

Pragya Rathore
17:07 Aug 13, 2020

This story is hilarious! I loved it right from the beginning. The best story I've read here on Reedsy. Your commentaries about modern art made me laugh out loud. Awesome! Please check out my stories too :)

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:32 Aug 14, 2020

Thank you. I'm going to read your latest now. If you have some other hidden gems in your collection, let me know. I love reading good stories :)

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Pragya Rathore
05:26 Aug 14, 2020

My pleasure :) You could check out The Faint Of Heart, or Her Beautiful Hands. By the way, thanks for liking and commenting on my story!

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Maria Hefte
18:31 Aug 06, 2020

I felt like I was in on a prank the whole time. Love the jumping around of perspectives. This reminds me of something that has actually happened to me, and I was giggling incessantly from the beginning. Once again, your imagery and strength of metaphor are incandescent. The next time you are jumping from perspective to perspective, or even allowing for the passage of time, try doing so without the use of asterisks, ellipses, etc. I’m curious what transition you can make just with the context of your words. It would work easily so in ...

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Jonathan Blaauw
06:39 Aug 07, 2020

Thank you so much! I see what you mean with the * scene breaks. I put them in because that's how I break down my stories in my head - small, manageable pieces - but I can see they're less effective than simply transitioning, like you suggest. In fact, they give it a choppy effect, which, again, is now glaringly obvious. Getting different perspectives is very very useful, it helps so much. I'm collecting story advisors and I'll invite you to my new stories as soon as they come out. As long as you keep writing though, because you're one of th...

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Elle Clark
18:50 Aug 05, 2020

This. Is. Hilarious. It also mirrors how I feel about art quite closely. I don’t know how much you actually know about art and how much of this is drawn from real knowledge but I suspect at least some of it is made up. After also reading all your psychology stuff in the last few, I want to say - and I want you to take this as the compliment I’m intending it to be - you excel at bullshit. The fact that I genuinely can’t tell whether you have a degree in art history or are a budding psychologist just shows you how smoothly and convincingly you...

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Jonathan Blaauw
06:29 Aug 06, 2020

This is the best comment ever! Made my day. Thank you. You’re absolutely right, bullshit is my specialty. As a skill, it has limited practical use (unless you’re a con-artist or a politician. Wait, that was redundant, they’re the same thing), outside of writing fiction. Which is why I’m here and will stay. Unless the government offers me a job. And yes, almost all of the art stuff is made up. I actually had to confirm that it was Da Vinci who did the Mona Lisa. I was sure, just not sure sure. Everything else is delightful nonsense. I kno...

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Elle Clark
09:36 Aug 06, 2020

I’m glad to have made you smile - you’ve certainly done that for me enough! Your punctuation use around: “Yes, dear.” Was spot on. Colons can be used instead of commas if it makes more sense, which it did in this case and you always capitalise the first word of speech. Dear should be capitalised because it’s being used as a name and that’s also why the comma before it works. So just change to a capital D and you’re golden. I know what you mean about pushing and enjoying writing more. Knowing I’ve got you waiting for my stories has de...

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Jonathan Blaauw
11:14 Aug 06, 2020

That's very helpful, thanks. Whenever you give such clear, detailed explanations I feel like you should be charging me, because this kind of help is invaluable. It can be found online, I suppose, but not nearly as simple and concise as yours. You already are a brilliant cheerleader/editor/story consultant. That's why I love Reedsy so much - it combines the joy of reading and writing and gives people like us a platform to be creative and, just as fulfilling, to support each other. And I think that's wonderful.

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Katina Foster
13:37 Aug 30, 2020

Love this! The opening sets us up for some irrational human behavior, but I was pleasantly surprised by the type of irrational behavior in this story. I literally let out a sigh of relief when we entered the museum. This whole story felt like an enjoyable vacation from current events, while somehow commenting on society so smoothly one might miss it. My favorite line: "flitting from painting to painting like some deranged hummingbird on a neverending nectar quest," I could totally see it in my head, and it was hilarious. Looking fo...

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Thom With An H
15:07 Aug 19, 2020

I must know if you did research for this story or is all of it just perfectly written BS? I like Pragya laughed out loud through the whole thing. It was so pathetically obvious what was going to happen and it still was brilliant. There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't. Ok that was just a joke that came to mind as I was going to point out the actual two types of people in the world. Those who think modern art is fantastic and liars. I thank you for the Wednesday laugh. The shortlist desig...

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Jonathan Blaauw
07:39 Aug 20, 2020

Thanks. I did zero research. I think the Mona Lisa thing is true, though. I love how, when people are looking for deeper significance, they’ll find it anywhere. Sometimes, when I’m reading stories on here, I’ll think – wow, the writer’s inconsistent use of punctuation really conveys the character’s sense of confusion excellently, what a brilliant move! Meanwhile, it’s probably just an error. I will definitely read and give my unvarnished opinion on your stories. I’ll start with Scars but I’m sure I’ll get to the others as well. I usually ...

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Thom With An H
10:45 Aug 20, 2020

Honestly yours was fantastic. It was so readable and I belly laughed reading it. A real triumph to be sure.

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D.N Pendragon
22:58 Aug 14, 2020

Amazing! I used to date a fine arts student for 5 years, so I've had my fair share of bizzare modern art experiences. I can say, with up most certainty, that a pair of cracked spectacles on the floor would be far superior to many a piece I have been subjected to! (Also I just read your name and thought... hmmm... that must be South African and saw your bio confirmed the same! Glad to see a fellow Saffa on here and producing amazing work - my second submission, "For Whom the Bells Toll" is uniquely South African - perhaps you would ca...

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Jonathan Blaauw
09:00 Aug 15, 2020

Thanks so much for the read and comment. That's amazing, I thought I was the only Rainbow Nationer on here! I loved 'For Whom the Bells Toll' and I'm going to make a point of checking out your other stories and any new ones in future. You did a masterful job with that story!

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D.N Pendragon
12:06 Aug 15, 2020

Same here! Funny how we manage to find each other all over the place! Your comment was the highlight of my day, "a braai without boerwors". Imagine! Keep up the good work my man!

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D. Holmes
20:36 Aug 14, 2020

This story just flows so naturally! Such an interesting perspective, that we can find meaning anywhere if we just look hard enough. (But if meaning is everywhere, what is truly meaningful?) And the fact that the "art piece" is spectacles, designed for detailed, up-close perusal! Also love the cleverness of the title, how you put the "s" in parentheses.

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17:48 Aug 14, 2020

Look at us being short-listed and stuff. Congrats!

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Jonathan Blaauw
19:06 Aug 15, 2020

Yay us! Well done! Please remember to tell me when you put up new stories, even if they don't have titles yet. I've noticed you like to sneak them in under the radar. Just send me one of those hitchhiking symbols you enjoy using (like this 👍) and I'll know you have a new one out.

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Elle Clark
19:18 Aug 12, 2020

This was shortlisted! Yay!

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Jonathan Blaauw
17:12 Aug 13, 2020

That's wonderful! Thanks for pointing it out, I wouldn't have known otherwise (very discreet of them, isn't it?) I had more to say on your story, also a question, but while I was busy typing the comment I got dragged away from my computer. So it'll arrive tomorrow. Don't be alarmed (🤣) it doesn't involve any changes. I look forward to seeing how you've fixed and fiddled while I'm there though.

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Elle Clark
18:36 Aug 13, 2020

I think they put on a feature that showed people who got shortlisted but it briefly showed people who had been shortlisted this time round. It’s gone now but I hope it wasn’t a mistake - it certainly deserves to be shortlisted! Also, do not worry about speed of reply. I definitely understand how life interferes!

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Elle Clark
18:54 Aug 14, 2020

See! I’m so proud of you!

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Aqsa Malik
14:05 Aug 10, 2020

I've only read two of your stories but, honestly you may be one of my favourite writers on here already ugh. Your writing style has such a fresh maturity to it, which lets the reader really engage and come out of it feeling like they stepped into a crazy new world. Literally have no criticisms so I'm just gonna rant about what I loved about this, sorry. Something I like is that you always seem to make your characters relatable somehow-like even the side characters have a distinct personality that you just capture so perfectly. I l...

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:29 Aug 14, 2020

What an amazing, detailed comment, thank you so much! I actually had the vague idea for this a few weeks back, I was just waiting for the right prompt. The heatwave bits felt almost like an afterthought to me, so I’m relieved that in the reading they seem natural. I did try make it a key part of the story (emphasis on the ‘try’ part) so I’m glad it came across that way. I’m glad I could give some enjoyment with this story. You’ve certainly made me smile with your comment. Thank you!

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Bianka Nova
13:08 Aug 10, 2020

I need the crying laughing emoji in order to comment properly xD

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Jonathan Blaauw
14:24 Aug 10, 2020

Thanks. How ever did we once survive without emjois to express ourselves? Primitive... :) Really appreciate the comment, thank you.

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Bianka Nova
14:36 Aug 10, 2020

Haha! Yeah, I know. It's a time long forgotten. But sure enough, I was smiling the whole time while reading your story. Thanks for the entertainment! :)

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21:20 Aug 09, 2020

This was great! Ha! It absolutely sums up any rational person's view on modern art. Just a hot load of crap. Perfect. Also, for a person who claims to know nothing about art, you were very convincing. Cheers, my man, I loved it.

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Jonathan Blaauw
11:28 Aug 10, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Vicky S
21:09 Aug 09, 2020

I liked how you started your story. Very relatable regarding the motorists

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Jonathan Blaauw
11:27 Aug 10, 2020

I don't know if it's a global thing, but here people go nuts on the roads when it rains. And it rains fairly often, it's not like it's a rarity or anything. Glad you could relate. And thanks for reading.

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Vicky S
11:36 Aug 10, 2020

No worries. Here in Australia it's the same!

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14:30 Aug 09, 2020

This story is a riot. “The fatal error of disagreeing...” too funny. Btw I think when you use quotation marks the period goes inside. But I’m not positive. Where you wrote “yes dear”. in the fifth paragraph. I love this story even though it does jump to different perspectives it’s easy to follow. I think comedy is definitely your thing 👍🏼

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Jonathan Blaauw
15:12 Aug 09, 2020

Thanks. I think you might be right about comedy – I’m trying horror for my new story and it’s not going well. The result will certainly be horrific, but probably not in the way I’m intending. Oh well... Interesting observation about the punctuation with speech marks. As far as I know, this issue is a hornet’s nest of contention and varies significantly between British and American grammar. But, since I write primarily in American, those rules should apply, in which case you’re 100% correct. English is a nightmare, isn’t it? I’d much rathe...

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15:19 Aug 09, 2020

Lol let’s blame Laura

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Elle Clark
18:56 Aug 14, 2020

Woah, woah, woah! Hey now. I mean, yeah, fair, but still!

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Jonathan Blaauw
10:06 Aug 10, 2020

Didn't I also appoint a deputy story consultant last week though? I seem to recall something like that...

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Rhonda Allen
02:01 Aug 09, 2020

LOVED the Spectacal(s) fantastic display of people's perceptions, pack mentality and the need for approval.

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:30 Aug 14, 2020

Much appreciated, thank you.

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Doubra Akika
12:52 Aug 08, 2020

This was so funny! Loved the perspectives and the descriptions and the twist. Can’t believe you turned a visit to a museum to something like this! Wonderful job! If you’re not too busy, would you mind checking out one of my stories? Have a great day!

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Jonathan Blaauw
16:30 Aug 08, 2020

Thanks so much. Sure, will check out your story asap.

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Doubra Akika
16:35 Aug 08, 2020

Thanks!

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A. S.
19:58 Aug 07, 2020

Great job! Loved the twist at the end. Taking something as simple and mundane as going to a museum to a whole new level. That is what short stories are about! Would you be willing to read my new story “Paper” and let me know what you think in the comments?

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Jonathan Blaauw
06:48 Aug 08, 2020

Thanks for reading. I will certainly check out your new story.

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Leya Newi
17:06 Aug 07, 2020

Hi! I figured, you're always reading my stories and leaving such nice comments, I figured I'd return the favor. I loved the format of this, where you took specific pieces of what happened at the art museum, and formed it into an interesting story. I have to admit, I didn't understand a word of what the 'art people' were saying. I did though understand how something simple can change a person's mind about another thing, in this case forgotten glasses and art. And the last section made me laugh, because that's EXACTLY what I would've assum...

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Jonathan Blaauw
06:47 Aug 08, 2020

If you had understood the art stuff it would have been very strange, because it’s all made up! Also, I wrote this story (as I do all my stories) wearing my reading glasses. And yes, they have red frames. And yes, before you ask - They. Are. Beautiful!! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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Leya Newi
15:13 Aug 08, 2020

Brilliant. And you’re welcome.

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This story itself was a brilliant piece of art! I love your choice of words in this, not to mention how humorous this was. This was awesome to read. Well done.

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Jonathan Blaauw
15:44 Aug 07, 2020

Thank you so much. I actually read your newest story earlier, will comment there soon as I get a chance. Really appreciate the read and comment, thanks 😀

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Your welcome😁 and thank last for reading.

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Deborah Angevin
23:43 Aug 06, 2020

I like the perspective of the teacher (and that art conversation too!) Would you mind reading my recent story out, "(Pink)y Promise"? Thank you :D

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Jonathan Blaauw
15:23 Aug 07, 2020

Thanks. Sure, I enjoy your stories. Will be over asap.

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