Submitted to: Contest #317

Your Heart Will Always Be Mine

Written in response to: "Write a story with the line “Don’t you remember me?” or “You haven’t changed…”"

Fiction Latinx

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

I still remember his number by heart -- the heart that he had breathed life into for a whole year before strangling it dry.

My bloody fingers tremble as I punch his digits one by one, slowly, deliberately.

I'm at a pay phone outside of Memorial Hospital. It's pouring outside the booth. The rain has comingled with the tears on my cheeks. Streaks of caked blood cover my face, my clothes, my hands. Neither the tears nor the rain have sufficiently washed away evidence of the carnage I have just witnessed.

"Pick up pick up pick up," I mutter, my voice cracking as a new onslaught of sobs boils up in my throat.

"Hello?" A groggy voice greets me on the other end.

"Antonio!" I cry. "It's Maricela."

The silence drags on so long, I think he's either hung up or the call dropped.

"What do you want? It's 3am." It's almost a growl, guttural. I can practically see his gritted teeth. It rumbles through my eardrums and reverberates down to my chest, tightening it.

"I just needed to hear your voice. I'm at the hospital. Something terrible has happened." The words come out more slurred than I expected. Sure, I've had seven shots of Patrón, a foolish attempt to numb my neurons, which have processed too much tonight. But I've always prided myself in holding my liquor well.

A sigh travels through the telephone line. "Are you drunk?"

"It's my mom. She's been attacked. Stabbed." The sobs erupt from my throat now. "I have no one else. So I called you."

"Oh my God! How is she?" My mom had been like a mother to him.

"She's in grave condition. She might not make it..." My voice trails off as the cries consume me once more. "Antonio please come. I can't do this alone."

"Maricela..." It still stings to hear him use my actual name instead of 'babe' or 'mi vida'. "You know I love your mom but... I don't think Bethany would be ok with this."

Bethany. Just the mention of her name makes me glower. I don't know what he sees in that blonde waif. Why do men always cheat on us with uglier and dumber girls?

I try my best to keep my voice steady, without any vitriol. "This is my mom we're talking about... Antonio. This is an emergency. Please."

"Argh! Ok. But I'm only going for your mom."

"I'm at Memorial Hospital. I'll be outside in my van. You remember what it looks like. You can't miss it. I'll wait for you there. I just can't be inside right now. I hate hospitals. You know what I went through with my dad."

The pay phone's automated voice cuts in asking for more money to continue the call. I'm out of quarters, so I hang up and stumble my way back to the van.

An hour passes and still no sign of Antonio. In that time, I've begun to sober up and start to second guess myself. What am I doing? Should I have called him?

Antonio's rap on the passenger side window halts any further reflection. I reach over and unlock the door for him.

I almost gasp as he climbs in and takes a seat. I haven't been this physically close to him since the day I had slammed the front door to his apartment, suitcase in hand. Now that I could almost touch him, a torrent of desire mixed with tenderness rushes through every vein, every artery, every capillary. He is even more devastatingly gorgeous than I had anticipated -- his brown skin darker, his muscles more defined, a scruff of beard perfectly outlining his jaw. It all suits him.

"Suprised you're still hanging onto this old hippie van. Thought you'd get rid of it since you were about to start law school. " He reaches over to the closed curtain that leads to the back.

"Don't! It's a mess back there." I let out an awkward chuckle. Truth is, I've been living in my van since the day I left (was forced to leave) Antonio's. I haven't even told my mom that he and I broke up. I would never hear the end of it. At 30, I had been a lost cause to her -- until I met Antonio. He had been my first boyfriend, my first love, my first everything. Once I had announced the news of our blossoming relationship, my mom had breathed a sigh of relief so strong, I'm sure it had reached my dad's ears beyond the grave. Now at 32, what hope would she have of her weird, loner daughter ever getting hitched?

"You haven't changed, Maricela," Antonio says with a shake of his head. A corner of his lips twitches, a smile snuffed out before he even gave it a chance to form.

"I've missed you," I say.

He stares out the front windshield, lips pressed. The moonlight glints off his wedding band. "Let's not do this," he finally responds.

"Does she know you're here?"

"No, she's on a girl's trip with some friends." He rubs his eyes. "And she doesn't have to know. Again, I'm only here for your mom. So let's go inside..."

"Why wasn't I good enough for you?" Tears begin to blur my view of him.

"God...Maricela..." He turns completely away from me, still refusing to meet my eyes.

"Just tell me! I gave you ALL of me. EVERYTHING!" I hesitate, wiping my tears and sniffling the snot away. I then give him another once-over. "And I'm taking it all back..."

Antonio starts to turn towards me. I imagine he sees the flash of my knife, but it's too late. I stab him through the chest, through his heart, the heart that was once mine.

Blood gurgles in his throat and starts dripping from his lips, the lips I had kissed passionately so many times. I kiss them now. He moans. Unfortunately, not the same type of moan I once used to elicit from him.

His hand flails for the door handle. But it's no use anyway. I have the child lock on.

I open the curtain and drag him to the back. His head lolls to the side and his eyes grow wide as a pair of cold blue eyes stare back at him. He opens his mouth to scream but all that comes out is more blood. I grab the dismembered head by its matted blonde hair (now with red highlights!) and chuck it to the side to make some space. I do the same with the other pieces of the waify frame, pausing before throwing aside one of the hands to pluck off the wedding band and place it on my own finger.

"I WILL have your heart Antonio! It will ALWAYS be mine!" I whisper in his ear before taking up my knife once more.

Posted Aug 29, 2025
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32 likes 23 comments

Nita Niche
10:05 Sep 01, 2025

Whoa! This story grabbed me by the throat from the very first line and didn’t let go! The slow burn of grief and heartbreak unspools beautifully into something unhinged, deliciously twisted, and ultimately cathartic. There’s a lyrical quality to the early paragraphs: that first phone booth image, the blood and tears mingling with the rain...

The voice is raw and gripping. I especially loved how you bookend the story with the motif of the heart — not just metaphorical, but quite literally taken back. It’s poetic. And horrific. Bravo! Looking forward to reading more from you.

Reply

Athena Reyes
10:16 Sep 01, 2025

Wow, thanks so much! Appreciate your kind words 😊

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Nita Niche
10:45 Sep 01, 2025

You're very welcome! Let me know when you get published 😉

Reply

Rosabella Cruz
10:12 Sep 01, 2025

What a dark gem of a story! You balance voice, pacing, atmosphere, and character masterfully. Haunting and emotionally feral in all the right ways. And that ending?! Chilling!

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Athena Reyes
10:16 Sep 01, 2025

Thank you!

Reply

Aaron Kennedy
23:58 Sep 03, 2025

Holy ………! I did NOT see that coming. A perfectly executed surprise! Thank you for sharing this story.

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Athena Reyes
23:01 Sep 04, 2025

Haha! Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I'm really glad the twist landed 😁

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Amelia Brown
01:55 Sep 03, 2025

What a chilling, powerful read. The descent from heartbreak into obsession and violence was written with such intensity. The voice was raw and believable, which made the ending hit all the harder. Great work!

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Athena Reyes
07:48 Sep 03, 2025

Thank you so much, Amelia! I really tried to tap into that raw, emotional spiral, so it means a lot that it landed for you. I appreciate your kind words!

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Graham Kinross
00:08 Sep 03, 2025

I thought the title was a metaphor… that took a turn!

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Athena Reyes
07:45 Sep 03, 2025

Oh yes, the title was quite literal 😁 Thanks for reading!

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Graham Kinross
10:37 Sep 03, 2025

You’re welcome. *hands raised, backs away slowly*

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Athena Reyes
11:19 Sep 03, 2025

Haha! Don't worry. This is purely a work of fiction. All characters, places, events, and incidents in this story are the product of the author's imagination and used in a fictitious manner. There is no resemblance to actual persons, living (or dead), or actual events. 😁

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Rose Brown
12:38 Sep 02, 2025

Whoa, this was intense! I was on edge the whole time. I’m a sucker for an unreliable narrator and a twisty ending (still trying to figure those out in my own writing). Great job!!

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Athena Reyes
07:38 Sep 03, 2025

Thanks so much Rose! I love playing with unreliable narrators, and it's fun to do twists 😁 I'm still figuring it out too 😅 This was a fun exercise to try it out!

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11:38 Sep 02, 2025

Didn't see that coming! I love this story- totally different, cool- just, wow- I've loved like that before. Glad I didn't have a knife or a van ;) Well, I guess I could have gotten a knife but I could never wield one with that kind of strength- even if I wanted to decapitate someone. Wow, I spelled decapitate right on my second try (haven't ever written that word before ;).

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Athena Reyes
06:06 Sep 03, 2025

Haha! Thank you Janeane 😁 I'm glad you enjoyed it! And great job getting "decapitate" right on your 2nd try. Hehe. Not an everyday word for most people (I hope 😅). I've definitely loved like that before too (giving all of myself where it's not reciprocated, not feeling good enough..) Thankfully I didn't fall to the dark side and just learned the lessons of valuing and loving myself instead 😁

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Jacob97 Hoskin31
04:20 Sep 02, 2025

The story was very interesting. Especially the use of foreshadowing in the beginning about strangling and the heart he breathed into for a whole year. Was very clever. Loved it. Look forward to the next story you tell in the future.

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Athena Reyes
05:08 Sep 03, 2025

Thanks so much Jacob! Tbh I didn't intentionally set out to create the foreshadowing in the beginning 😅 But after I posted the story and re-read it I did notice the heart motif coming full circle. I'll definitely be posting more soon. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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Viga Boland
13:31 Sep 01, 2025

Ok…never saw that coming. Talk about gory. Ooof! Kept in suspense all the way through. But still,,,ooof!

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Athena Reyes
17:09 Sep 01, 2025

Haha thank you, Viga! 😅 Yeah, it definitely takes a sharp turn! I’m glad the suspense kept you hooked all the way through, though. Appreciate you reading!

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Matt Ferguson
10:39 Sep 01, 2025

Dark, bold, and beautifully written. Loved the twist!

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Athena Reyes
10:42 Sep 01, 2025

Thanks so much! This was a fun one to write. As twisted as that sounds 😅

Reply

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