War Tent House

Submitted into Contest #103 in response to: Write about a character looking for a sign.... view prompt

97 comments

Fiction Suspense

2010 January 04

Kashmir that sleeps as dew drops in the midst of the garden of apple. Cloudy doves all over the sky resembling the circular moon that plays by chasing the butterflies! The wind of spring all over the body like the chillness of the river that tumble and falls into the ocean. The flowers that keep their face so sad in the foothills of the mountain! The dream of freedom in the boundary line like the breathing of the May-flies! Spying love in the chest cage like the dumb man’s language! I stand guarding my father like penance for the past one hundred and twenty full-moons time i.e. for ten years.

The sounds of the bullets as the fun of crackers in the sky from hither thither like the tiny rain drops! Even the phoenix birds that were extradited will somersault even after getting the wing injuries and make the lame children laugh; the red rose forest there at a distance where the multiple war time cross heaped; that was singing the raga mukAri along with soft wind!

I remember that I met you last while I was five years old; I lent the said to be the dye of smile in the market of butterflies; the kite is not to be seen and missing; only the thread is in my hand; the waves in the sea is coming and going again and again; the shore is dwindling; my dad’s kisses that were my dad’ lips signed on my cheek; those are the autographs hidden in my heart! There is a waiting in my mother’s face; she searches the moon in the day; searches the river in the night; my temple is nearer, but the God is not to be seen!

By losing the door key, I am imprisoned inside the room for a very long time; It is a compulsion that the lids have to sell to get a little of air; the sound of silvery falls had failed in the boundary line of the neighboring country; in the beaks of the doves for peace, the hearts of army warriors were allowed to hang as the toys of blight in the eyes; the cradles inside the trenches to hide the children; the corpses to arrive this shore every day from that ocean; for the fainted national flag in the six feet ditches, the sound of the guns offers the respect for six seconds; mother gave me a few letters written by you; I melted quicker than the wax while I read those!

The evening clouds were surrendering slowly on the west; I construed the grave for my tears inside my lids! Coming after a wait had failed again; mother will give the sweets my father likes, securely tied; I stand waiting with paining legs; I return back with the heart spread over like pieces of glass; I will hand over the waiting sweets to the beggar woman who does penance as a gift; This too my father had taught me when I was five years old to live contently with whatever I have! The rug vehicle that carries the arms had passed me like a green forest; I too have to pass over this place; The Kashmir city gets quiet by shutting the doors before the moon shows its face!

My room library is like the person who keeps silent and speechless; the secrets of the hidden feathers of peacock delivering small feathery babes; the books taking bath in the breaths of tied flowers; its pages look like the colorful fields of butterflies!

In the midst of these, I found out my father’s diary!

I am afraid to see the war-front of the gunman without his permission; I feel as if I lost my fingers with a thinking to cut the nails; I get lost in the wave frequency of the breathing air; I turn the pages on compulsion finally!

2010 July 03

Neither the month of Margazhi nor the summer, it is a day in between these two; I kept pouring the tears into my pen; I suffered without words like the tongue of a dumb person; I laid fallen on the ground like a lame person; an earth quack in the breathing air that day; an angel holding the hands of the orphaned warrior was suffering with struggle; I was dying piece by piece; He smile was my world; A delivery riot there; the doctors took the instruments In their hands since the placenta was encircling the neck of the fetus; for my angel who suffers even if an ant bites, the problematic minutes fought with the seconds recovered her life! The angel was in sleep with fainting tiredness; Two cradles near her; While one cradle is moving, another died before the lull; This secret is not known to my angel; My elder son is buried in the midst of rose garden; the younger one is cradling inside my life!

I search the bygone days; I get defeated with the passing seconds: Oceans everywhere into the eyes; pins and needle all over the heart; I became a refugee into the diary as a bird that had lost its wings; like the golden fish that believes the well water on compulsion as sea water; the shadows are drawn with brushes today: The real brush had faded that day like the water illusion in the summer; I kept the secrets locked into my life like my father!

A letter to my father after a very long time; this is hundredth letter.

2020 June 03

My sky is gone demolished; the moon and the sea had sticking together; my flowers had withered; the dried leaf and thorn are playing with fate; the veena of my heart alone sings in spite of strings torn; My blood stain is smeared over the cob web; The weaver birds build their nests by stealing my lids; the crows too pecks my eyes thinking that it is cuckoo; They killed my mother’s sister after raping; they spit away Asifa who resided in the opposite house; I gave the toys I collected to the orphanage homes; I allowed the pair of love birds that I kept in cage to fly in the sky; my school girl friends were abducted to the brothel houses in Mumbai a few days ago; Rape had become cheap like tamarind seeds; I am going tomorrow as a soldier to the ‘war tent camp’ at local Panip pukar. My mother died of heart attack yesterday; that angel had slept quietly like a child; I buried my mother and the secret diary in the rose garden where my elder brother sleeps!

***

July 16, 2021 18:45

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97 comments

Deidra Lovegren
17:19 Jul 26, 2021

This should win this week. If not, I don't know what those judges are reading. This. right. here. is. it. Fantastic.

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Mohamed Sarfan
20:48 Jul 27, 2021

I think it is a great gift to have my story robbed of your heart. At the beginning of each story the writer feels the pain of childbirth; It is the praise of people like you that heals that pain. I love every viewer and reviewer so much. Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Mike Panasitti
02:09 Jun 18, 2022

It. is. here. for sure.

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M. M.
13:17 May 07, 2022

Honestly this is a fine piece of writing; sometimes I think judges are holding favourites and dont know why some writers don't deserve to win. You have taken a high level of style and class in this powerful journey of sensitive topics. good work well done. keep writing

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Mohamed Sarfan
13:20 May 12, 2022

They just think that every competitor should win. But, there is a higher joy than success in thinking that my effort beyond winning is not wasting your precious time. Great Pleasure! Thank You For The Reading And Feedback Dear Friend!

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M. M.
13:55 May 14, 2022

no problem and the joy of writing is always more satisfying than the win. look forward to reading more of your work.

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Ravi Srivastava
01:23 Feb 18, 2022

A heart wrenching story. You have a great knack of creating a visual picture of your grief with words. Write more, and I'd love to read your stories. Great job!

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Mohamed Sarfan
02:53 Feb 19, 2022

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Felice Noelle
19:08 Jan 07, 2022

Mohamed: This broke my heart over and over. I had to reread many parts and then digest them, but just the poetic rhythm was enough to draw me in. Good job. Your finding beauty in the horrific of life is inspirational. Mahatma Ghandi said it well: He had seven deadly sins for today's society: politics without principle, wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity and worship without sacrifice. Before he was assassinated he added an eighth: rights...

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Mohamed Sarfan
12:02 Jan 14, 2022

In fact, I am delighted with your thorough reading and kind critique. Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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M. M.
13:18 May 07, 2022

well said and totally agree.

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05:47 Jan 03, 2022

Beautiful, disturbing, poetic beyond words and to be honest so intimate it was like my heart did not want to feel it all but at the same time did not want to look away. Wonderful and thanks for having the courage to share.

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Mohamed Sarfan
05:17 Jan 05, 2022

This is a loving review. Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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03:47 Jan 08, 2022

Your welcome!

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Michael Regan
21:05 Dec 09, 2021

I am at a loss for words. So beautifully written

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Mohamed Sarfan
12:34 Dec 10, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Leonard Mills
11:31 Nov 21, 2021

Wonderful. Truly captivating. You have a gift to give a sense of place, to describe the feeling, sights and smells of the place. Really nice. Thanks for liking my work, I wouldn't have found this otherwise.

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Mohamed Sarfan
20:18 Nov 24, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Divya Narasimhan
04:57 Nov 04, 2021

Thank you for stopping by my story, so I could find this gem! Your poetic prose is beautiful and stirs so many emotions… true art.

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Mohamed Sarfan
20:23 Nov 05, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Delia Strange
08:24 Oct 28, 2021

I found you because you liked one of my stories. Thank you! Reading this work is like reading poetry. Such strong, emotional and visual descriptions. I have a favourite line: "my dad’s kisses that were my dad’s lips signed on my cheek" Breathtaking prose.

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Mohamed Sarfan
05:07 Oct 30, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Patrick Samuel
10:50 Oct 22, 2021

Turning unspeakable suffering into words, making sense of madness and extracting beauty from horror, maybe this is what art is supposed to be: immortal triumph over mortal adversity.

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Mohamed Sarfan
19:04 Oct 23, 2021

Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Kevin Broccoli
18:09 Oct 10, 2021

The imagery you invoke in this is just gorgeous.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:55 Oct 13, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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F. G.
05:02 Sep 02, 2021

Your mind is truly surreal. That you can still find such beauty through such pain. This blew me away. I'll cry for you today. Your friend if you will have me.

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Mohamed Sarfan
06:18 Sep 03, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Zahra Naazir
10:29 Aug 28, 2021

Oh, this is so sad. I loved the poetic descriptions that really does blow in life to your work. The ending is heartbreaking. Great work!! Pls do pop over to mine if you get the chance. Thanks. Again, Thanks for this. Super!

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Mohamed Sarfan
20:23 Aug 30, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Ananya Voss
21:15 Aug 24, 2021

Beautifully poetic- are some of the images confusing to reflect the pains and unclarity of Kashmir? Thank you for liking my stories. A

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Mohamed Sarfan
20:37 Aug 25, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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00:23 Aug 12, 2021

Beautifully written as Poetry in a sense. I love your descriptions of nature, etc. Very well written.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:10 Aug 12, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Nathalie Menard
22:54 Aug 11, 2021

Lovely writing. Poetic and sad! Full of image not always easy to see even if they are beautiful. Well done!

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:10 Aug 12, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Ola Hotchpotch
08:18 Aug 06, 2021

I am trying to visualise the picture you drew with words. Some I can see clearly like " cloudy doves all over the sky....", then "the flowers that keep so sad..." etc. I wish I could fully understand . Your story sounds like a sad song . To know that in Kashmir all becomes quite before the moon appears is really sad. Hope the people of kashmir get a normal life to live. Thanks for sharing the story and giving a like to mine.

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Mohamed Sarfan
17:03 Aug 06, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Rodrigo Juatco
20:00 Aug 04, 2021

Interesting story. Reads like a poem. Truthfully, I did not fully grasp what you were trying to convey, but I found your formula in way of imagery captivating none the less. Thank you for taking the time to read my stories and adding like. I look forward to your future endeavors.

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Mohamed Sarfan
04:37 Aug 05, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Ramona Taylor
05:06 Aug 02, 2021

You’re writing shear poetry, so sad but so beautiful too. I had to read to the end without pausing for a moment, so compelling was this story.

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Mohamed Sarfan
17:40 Aug 02, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Rose C G
04:59 Aug 01, 2021

This is so lovely, painful, and heartwarming. Well done!

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Mohamed Sarfan
08:38 Aug 01, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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