War Tent House

Submitted into Contest #103 in response to: Write about a character looking for a sign.... view prompt

119 comments

Fiction Suspense

2010 January 04

Kashmir that sleeps as dew drops in the midst of the garden of apple. Cloudy doves all over the sky resembling the circular moon that plays by chasing the butterflies! The wind of spring all over the body like the chillness of the river that tumble and falls into the ocean. The flowers that keep their face so sad in the foothills of the mountain! The dream of freedom in the boundary line like the breathing of the May-flies! Spying love in the chest cage like the dumb man’s language! I stand guarding my father like penance for the past one hundred and twenty full-moons time i.e. for ten years.

The sounds of the bullets as the fun of crackers in the sky from hither thither like the tiny rain drops! Even the phoenix birds that were extradited will somersault even after getting the wing injuries and make the lame children laugh; the red rose forest there at a distance where the multiple war time cross heaped; that was singing the raga mukAri along with soft wind!

I remember that I met you last while I was five years old; I lent the said to be the dye of smile in the market of butterflies; the kite is not to be seen and missing; only the thread is in my hand; the waves in the sea is coming and going again and again; the shore is dwindling; my dad’s kisses that were my dad’ lips signed on my cheek; those are the autographs hidden in my heart! There is a waiting in my mother’s face; she searches the moon in the day; searches the river in the night; my temple is nearer, but the God is not to be seen!

By losing the door key, I am imprisoned inside the room for a very long time; It is a compulsion that the lids have to sell to get a little of air; the sound of silvery falls had failed in the boundary line of the neighboring country; in the beaks of the doves for peace, the hearts of army warriors were allowed to hang as the toys of blight in the eyes; the cradles inside the trenches to hide the children; the corpses to arrive this shore every day from that ocean; for the fainted national flag in the six feet ditches, the sound of the guns offers the respect for six seconds; mother gave me a few letters written by you; I melted quicker than the wax while I read those!

The evening clouds were surrendering slowly on the west; I construed the grave for my tears inside my lids! Coming after a wait had failed again; mother will give the sweets my father likes, securely tied; I stand waiting with paining legs; I return back with the heart spread over like pieces of glass; I will hand over the waiting sweets to the beggar woman who does penance as a gift; This too my father had taught me when I was five years old to live contently with whatever I have! The rug vehicle that carries the arms had passed me like a green forest; I too have to pass over this place; The Kashmir city gets quiet by shutting the doors before the moon shows its face!

My room library is like the person who keeps silent and speechless; the secrets of the hidden feathers of peacock delivering small feathery babes; the books taking bath in the breaths of tied flowers; its pages look like the colorful fields of butterflies!

In the midst of these, I found out my father’s diary!

I am afraid to see the war-front of the gunman without his permission; I feel as if I lost my fingers with a thinking to cut the nails; I get lost in the wave frequency of the breathing air; I turn the pages on compulsion finally!

2010 July 03

Neither the month of Margazhi nor the summer, it is a day in between these two; I kept pouring the tears into my pen; I suffered without words like the tongue of a dumb person; I laid fallen on the ground like a lame person; an earth quack in the breathing air that day; an angel holding the hands of the orphaned warrior was suffering with struggle; I was dying piece by piece; He smile was my world; A delivery riot there; the doctors took the instruments In their hands since the placenta was encircling the neck of the fetus; for my angel who suffers even if an ant bites, the problematic minutes fought with the seconds recovered her life! The angel was in sleep with fainting tiredness; Two cradles near her; While one cradle is moving, another died before the lull; This secret is not known to my angel; My elder son is buried in the midst of rose garden; the younger one is cradling inside my life!

I search the bygone days; I get defeated with the passing seconds: Oceans everywhere into the eyes; pins and needle all over the heart; I became a refugee into the diary as a bird that had lost its wings; like the golden fish that believes the well water on compulsion as sea water; the shadows are drawn with brushes today: The real brush had faded that day like the water illusion in the summer; I kept the secrets locked into my life like my father!

A letter to my father after a very long time; this is hundredth letter.

2020 June 03

My sky is gone demolished; the moon and the sea had sticking together; my flowers had withered; the dried leaf and thorn are playing with fate; the veena of my heart alone sings in spite of strings torn; My blood stain is smeared over the cob web; The weaver birds build their nests by stealing my lids; the crows too pecks my eyes thinking that it is cuckoo; They killed my mother’s sister after raping; they spit away Asifa who resided in the opposite house; I gave the toys I collected to the orphanage homes; I allowed the pair of love birds that I kept in cage to fly in the sky; my school girl friends were abducted to the brothel houses in Mumbai a few days ago; Rape had become cheap like tamarind seeds; I am going tomorrow as a soldier to the ‘war tent camp’ at local Panip pukar. My mother died of heart attack yesterday; that angel had slept quietly like a child; I buried my mother and the secret diary in the rose garden where my elder brother sleeps!

***

July 16, 2021 18:45

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119 comments

00:23 Aug 12, 2021

Beautifully written as Poetry in a sense. I love your descriptions of nature, etc. Very well written.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:10 Aug 12, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Nathalie Menard
22:54 Aug 11, 2021

Lovely writing. Poetic and sad! Full of image not always easy to see even if they are beautiful. Well done!

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:10 Aug 12, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Ola Hotchpotch
08:18 Aug 06, 2021

I am trying to visualise the picture you drew with words. Some I can see clearly like " cloudy doves all over the sky....", then "the flowers that keep so sad..." etc. I wish I could fully understand . Your story sounds like a sad song . To know that in Kashmir all becomes quite before the moon appears is really sad. Hope the people of kashmir get a normal life to live. Thanks for sharing the story and giving a like to mine.

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Mohamed Sarfan
17:03 Aug 06, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Rodrigo Juatco
20:00 Aug 04, 2021

Interesting story. Reads like a poem. Truthfully, I did not fully grasp what you were trying to convey, but I found your formula in way of imagery captivating none the less. Thank you for taking the time to read my stories and adding like. I look forward to your future endeavors.

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Mohamed Sarfan
04:37 Aug 05, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Ramona Taylor
05:06 Aug 02, 2021

You’re writing shear poetry, so sad but so beautiful too. I had to read to the end without pausing for a moment, so compelling was this story.

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Mohamed Sarfan
17:40 Aug 02, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Rose CG
04:59 Aug 01, 2021

This is so lovely, painful, and heartwarming. Well done!

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Mohamed Sarfan
08:38 Aug 01, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Pamela Berglund
19:27 Jul 31, 2021

You are truly a writer...you make the words fly off the paper. I could never accomplish such creativity. But with that being said, i find it quite dificult to understand what i am reading about. So what is your secret. Are you a published writer? Have i ever read anything by you if I went out to buy a book in the market place. i also notice that you enjoy my stories, but i would love some actual feedback from you. Thank you for following me.

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Mohamed Sarfan
08:41 Aug 01, 2021

I fill my mind with your greetings as the cold air touches me. Of course I will read your works. Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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16:32 Jul 31, 2021

Wow, Mohamed, your writing is compelling and expressive! Also, thank you for reading my stories.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:20 Jul 31, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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17:58 Aug 01, 2021

Thank you, my fellow writer! : )

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17:58 Aug 01, 2021

Thank you, my fellow writer! : )

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17:59 Aug 01, 2021

Thank you, my fellow writer! : )

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Arvind Kashyap
12:40 Jul 31, 2021

You have a lovely style. It is engrossing. Rightly commented you deserve a prize.

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Mohamed Sarfan
16:15 Jul 31, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Dewain Williams
18:26 Jul 30, 2021

That's for the likes! This is a great story. I know I am a terrible writer but I'm trying to get better.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:38 Jul 30, 2021

Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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K A
20:44 Jul 28, 2021

Your writing is so poetic; it's a breath of fresh air! My favourite line was "those are the autographs hidden in my heart!". I read this and thought it was beautiful. Great job and keep on writing! And thank you so much for all of your likes on my stories, I appreciate you taking the time to read my work. I'd love to hear some of your thoughts in my comments as well!

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Mohamed Sarfan
13:30 Jul 29, 2021

Memories of storytelling with smiles and tears on the beautiful journey of life are like flowers on earth. It is a great pleasure to have the kind comment of a great writer on my short story. Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Eliza Entwistle
02:27 Jul 26, 2021

A sad and meaningful story, although short, with beautiful descriptions. Keep writing!

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Mohamed Sarfan
05:08 Jul 26, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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15:35 Jul 25, 2021

Very evocative writing and pulled me in right from the first few lines. You maintained a heightened sense of anticipation and suspense all through rigr upto ti the climactic last lines. Some very good descriptions here. Good story, straight from the heart, Md Sarfan

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:12 Jul 25, 2021

It's Valuable Heart Touching Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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18:18 Jul 25, 2021

Thanks, Sarfan.

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18:18 Jul 25, 2021

Thanks, Sarfan.

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18:18 Jul 25, 2021

Thanks, Sarfan.

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07:34 Jul 25, 2021

so sad. Beautiful writing.

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Mohamed Sarfan
07:35 Jul 25, 2021

Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Jubilee Lubov
03:36 Jul 25, 2021

I absolutely love the progression of the story and the creative descriptions! Kept me interested throughout. Great work!!

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Mohamed Sarfan
05:36 Jul 25, 2021

It's Valuable First Class Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Philip Ebuluofor
18:40 Jul 22, 2021

Cashmir?, Pakistanis or India control side.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:51 Jul 22, 2021

Kashmir is Pakistan Versus India Border Line Side Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Sue Marsh
21:34 Jul 19, 2021

Hi Mohamed, I love the way you write, there is strength and wisdom in your story. It sounds as if you have seen war close up; the story came together beautifully. Sue

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:49 Jul 22, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Sue Marsh
20:47 Jul 22, 2021

Mohamed you are so very welcome

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Marshal Streigh
02:44 Jul 19, 2021

Thanks for sharing, Mohamed. You have a total grasp of the simile.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:49 Jul 22, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Ruth Smith
04:48 Jul 18, 2021

Such a beautifully written, tragic story.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:50 Jul 22, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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Cass Marie
01:00 Jul 17, 2021

Darn. I usually stop reading reading when I realize tears are coming....could not stop reading. Ty Mohamed. Please keep writing.

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Mohamed Sarfan
18:50 Jul 22, 2021

It's Valuable Comment Great Pleasure! Thank You So Much My Dear Friend!

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