Witnessing Adir (Part 2)

Submitted into Contest #80 in response to: Write about a child witnessing a major historical event.... view prompt

66 comments

Coming of Age Historical Fiction People of Color

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Noah Adir's execution was today, and I was there to see it. My dad brought me to see him. I never thought I'd be this distraught over this.Β 

I saw Noah take his last breath. I never thought I would be able to say it. Better yet, say it out loud. I don't think I can say it out loud.

When Noah finally took his last breath, Dad patted me on the back and whispered in my ear:Β "Now you know how a real man feels. Now you see what happens to blacks who don't mind their business."Β 

Blacks. That's what Dad calls them. No one really talks about it since Lincoln signed those papers. Everyone is together now, and no one is being forced to pick cotton from fields. But Dad still doesn't like black people.

He always told me that I was different than all black people. That I am destined to do something great. That I had my whole life laid out in front of me just because I was white.

One time, I brought one of my friends home. His name was Jordan and he was black, but we got along just fine. I asked him to come over to watch a movie or play some video games but my dad demanded me to put him out of our house immediately.

When he left, almost forcefully, Dad pointed to my skin and asked me what color I was. I said white because he was gripping my hand so tight I couldn't see the blood underneath. He said: "That's right. You're white. Not black like him. You'll never be like him so stop hangin' around him."

I never listened to him. I would sneak off at school and hang around him and talk with him. He was a really nice person and it felt wrong to stop being friends with him because he didn't have the same skin color as me.Β 

Months ago, I sat down on the couch watching all the news reports. All the riots, the protesting, the chanting, it all got to be too much. I remember Noah's mother on my screen.Β 

Why are they keeping my son in there? Let my son go! Let Noah go! He's just a little boy! Let him go! He didn't do nothin' wrong!Β 

Everyone all across the world probably knew her. They knew her voice. They knew her son, Noah. They knew that what the police did was wrong, so they tried to fix it.

People in China sent all types of things to America like clothing, mugs, and even tissue. People in Mexico were protesting at the border. People got hurt, but at least they were trying.

That's more than my dad does. He just sits around drinking beer and watching football. Anytime the news reports would come on, he'd either yell and scream at the screen or throw his drink, almost always alcohol, at the tv. One time, he ripped the tv off of the stand and hinges and Momma had to go and buy another one.

They were arguing all day about that stupid tv. Got so bad I couldn't hear myself think, so I took a ride on my bike outside. I didn't know where I was going until I ended up at my friend Jordan's house. I was already there and his Mom had seen me pull up, so there was no turning back.Β 

When I walked onto her porch, she immediately opened the door and asked me what I was doing at her house. I told her that I wanted to see Jordan. She turned from me to the door she had closed behind her. She finally gave in and let me see Jordan, but it wasn't until she looked both ways down her street before she closed the door.

Inside, the news was on. Obviously about Noah. She told me that Jordan was in his room playing and if I needed anything to just call.

When I got into Jordan's room, he just stared at me. He didn't say anything. He just stared. I remember thinking to myself:Β what's wrong with this boy?Β At first, he continued playing, and as I was saying my hello, he screamed at me to get out.Β 

I remember being pretty taken aback and getting on my bike ride home and it had started to rain. There was no rain in the forecast that I had seen, but it continued until the ground became slippery and I skidded across the sidewalk when a car knocked into the back of me.Β 

The neighbors must have seen what happened because the next thing I knew, I was sitting on a counter in a black woman's home. It felt toasty and warm like we were living inside of a heated Poptart. The lady - I had never gotten her name - bandaged my knees while humming softly to music I couldn't hear.Β 

I jolted up, but the lady told me to lay back down. She handed me a cup of tea and said to stay where I was while she got a pillow or two. I ended up spending the night, and in the morning she drove me back home - the place I should've never left in the first place.Β 

Dad was at work - I could tell because the police car was no longer parked in the driveway - when the kind lady dropped me off. Mom eagerly opened the door asking me what happened and told me to never leave the house again. She thanked the woman repeatedly and tried to pay her with money, but the woman just shook her head and left, still humming to her invisible music.Β 

So after a few months, I stand here watching Noah Adir struggle with the noose around his neck. I think about the nice lady who helped me when I crashed. I think about Jordan's kindness, even through these times. I think about Jordan's mom who let me in her house knowing what would happen if my father found out.Β 

Dad leans over and knocks his shoulder into mine and says:Β "Now he knows not to mess with us, aye?"

I look from my dad to Noah's dead eyes and sigh. When will it stop?

February 09, 2021 15:49

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

66 comments

16:01 Feb 09, 2021

Another great one..loved how you used the kid Jordan's friend this time to tell the story... Am slowly becoming a fun of your work.... This one made me more emotional than the first one

Reply

16:09 Feb 09, 2021

OMG thank you so much!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
19:54 Feb 10, 2021

Part 3: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/80/submissions/54242/ ***whenever you have time :D***

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
. .
16:00 Feb 09, 2021

OMG I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY!!!! This was so great and I think that it was very realistic. Was there a mother figure?? I feel like the maternal presence or having someone that contrasts the father's beliefs would make it so goood. Also, not everyone is allowed inside an execution, so make sure to specify why they were included. Normally its prosecutors, family, and law enforcement only. Other than that OMG YOU WENT OFF KWEEN I LARB!!!!

Reply

16:09 Feb 09, 2021

YASSS there were a lot of mother figures. There was Jordan's mom, main character's mom, and the lady that bandaged his knee even though I never said she was a mother. Thank you so much!! I was trying to like... picture a racist dad and a nonracist mom in a situation together but I didn't think it would go well because like... how would they even meet? What would she like about him? I just decided to keep it in there just because :) Well the dad was a police officer. I wanted to make sure I put that sort of element in there so I said that h...

Reply

. .
16:11 Feb 09, 2021

Ah, well that makes much more sense, but I would make all of that clearer. OMG i forgot to say how much I love your themed stories!!! I don't know if anyone noticed but most of my stories are either individualism or Gothic Romanticism of some kind, and I love themed separate stories!!! Keep up the great work!!!

Reply

16:13 Feb 09, 2021

Your right I should've made it more clearer. I'll go over it tonight and edit it a liiiiiiiiiittle more. And thank you so much!! Now my next mission is to finish writing stories for the whole contest this week. I'll get on that tomorrow or Thursday.

Reply

. .
16:15 Feb 09, 2021

The whole contest??? WOAH!! I've only done that twice!!

Reply

16:18 Feb 09, 2021

I've done it before but the stories weren't apart of the contest. Since it's Black History Month and the prompts fit in to my mission, I figured I could give it a try 😁😁

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Nancy Drayce
15:59 Feb 09, 2021

This is so heartbreaking... πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ’” I am sad and furious at the same time...

Reply

16:04 Feb 09, 2021

OMG me tooooo!!! Thanks for the comment!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

I have 0 words for this. You are able to perfectly represent real problems and real things people say. This is off the charts amazing. Amazing job Carla!!

Reply

21:20 Feb 09, 2021

Part 3: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/80/submissions/54242/

Reply

how are you so fast?!?!

Reply

14:10 Feb 10, 2021

Well yesterday I had a lot of free time on my hands so :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
16:04 Feb 09, 2021

Thank you so much!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Akshaya Sutrave
13:31 Mar 09, 2021

Outstanding story, again! Very moving. I wish people stop thinking this way, because if they do believe in discrimination, something is wrong with THEM. I love how you chose this topic to write on. (I hate that dad guy so much.)

Reply

14:37 Mar 09, 2021

OMG I HATE HIM TOOOOO!!!! When I was writing his character I made sure to put as much hate in his blood as I could. But thank you for the comment!!

Reply

Akshaya Sutrave
15:06 Mar 09, 2021

Yes, exactly! You did a great job with his characterization because he is sure detestable! No problem!

Reply

16:34 Mar 09, 2021

YAY!!!

Reply

Akshaya Sutrave
07:19 Mar 10, 2021

:D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ana Govindasamy
18:18 Feb 25, 2021

Woah. Ok yeah, this was an amazing second part. I loved it so much!

Reply

16:54 Apr 14, 2021

OMG I MISSED THIS ONE TOO!!!! :(((( Thank you for the comment!! <333

Reply

Ana Govindasamy
17:17 Apr 14, 2021

No problem!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Avan Shipeck
19:31 Feb 24, 2021

again, this story is sooooooooooooooooo good and am so excited to read the part 3

Reply

16:55 Apr 14, 2021

OMG I MISSED YOUR COMMENT!! Thank you for liking my story!! Have you read Part 3 yet? It's still on my page if you haven't.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Kay (:
21:31 Feb 16, 2021

Can you please read my story 'Falling Wave" and give me some feedback no one has and I worked really hard on it.

Reply

17:58 Feb 17, 2021

Of course I will!! I'll be inactive for the rest of the week but I can give feedback on Monday!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Mango Chutney
00:30 Feb 16, 2021

Well Written..! You have depicted the characters so well. Ahh I feel sad reading this..! Looking forward to reading more from you.

Reply

15:03 Feb 23, 2021

Thank you so much!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
21:26 Feb 10, 2021

I really hope people don't still think like this, and if they do and you know one, please hit them on the head so they reboot and get their senses, since they're clearly evil androids sent to drive apart the human race.

Reply

21:28 Feb 10, 2021

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!!!!! People like this are just plain evil and seriously have a devil in them. It's really sad though because one race hates the other race and that other race is just trying to survive against the first race. It's a whole situation that has no place in people's everyday life.

Reply

19:46 Feb 11, 2021

Yeah! I mean, it's not like we're from different planets, just different backgrounds, and that shouldn't divide us! My grandparents were immigrants who came over when they were just sixteen and were also discriminated even though their skin color was pretty similar. See? Evil. It would be even worse if they were Black or colored races. It's just sad that people have to live like this. You'd think we'd have world peace by now, but... :( Let's hope this awful stuff ends!

Reply

19:54 Feb 11, 2021

Exactly! It's all a big mess. I just think (not trying to offend anyone or anything like that) that ppl who view other races like this are entitled and selfish. We live in this world too. It's already bad enough that the system is made against us, now we have to deal with the people trying to push out out the country. It's sad. It should be an abomination to human race and I really do believe that every last one of them is going to burn in hell with gasoline pants on.

Reply

20:10 Feb 11, 2021

Gasoline pants?

Reply

20:33 Feb 11, 2021

Yes Gasoline pantsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Hey Cookie! Great story, love how u showed this in a different perspective! As always very inspired by ur writing<33

Reply

18:19 Feb 09, 2021

Thank you!! I'm THINKING about writing a Part 3 but I don't know yet. Maybe have the mom's perspective in part 3 idk?

Reply

21:17 Feb 09, 2021

Part 3: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/80/submissions/54242/

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

This is scarily amazing. The line "I said white because he was gripping my hand so tight I couldn't see the blood underneath" is so haunting. I really hate the dad character beyond words

Reply

16:35 Feb 09, 2021

Thank you so much!! I hate him too...

Reply

Xander Dmer
17:05 Feb 09, 2021

lol you hate your own character.

Reply

21:17 Feb 09, 2021

Part 3: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/80/submissions/54242/

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Whitney Jones
16:09 Feb 09, 2021

Excuse me English but OMG!!!!!!!!! That was so good. It was well written. Good Job, Carla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜πŸ˜

Reply

16:11 Feb 09, 2021

Thanks Whitney!!

Reply

Whitney Jones
16:13 Feb 09, 2021

No Prob!!

Reply

21:18 Feb 09, 2021

Part 3: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/80/submissions/54242/

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

ViCtoRy Is OuRs! Apparently its a challenge where you say it to someone and then have them pass it on. I got it from Ame who got it from luna who got it from sapphire who got it from kate who got it from jade who got it from emerald LOL, sorry if its random!

Reply

15:04 Feb 23, 2021

Oh that's what Maya's comment said!!! Oh ok! I'll pass it to my friend Whitney!!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply