Contest #216 winner 🏆

92 comments

Funny Thriller Mystery

"I was eight years old the first time I heard his name." Shifting in the hard plastic seat, my wrists are shackled to a metal chain link at the center of the table, limiting my mobility.

The officer observes my discomfort passively, already impatient and annoyed with my recollection of events.

"I was thinking a little more recent, Miss Clark. Like why you were caught standing outside his home with a bloody—"

"No, no, you don't understand. I need to start at the beginning. So you can understand," I enunciate, not trusting Officer Dougher, an overworked, underpaid, exhausted, dispassionate cop, to actually comprehend the beauty of my tale.

A tired sigh escapes me, not from lack of sleep but disappointment. Officer Dougher waves his fingers, gesturing for me to continue. I don't trust him, but this is the end of the line. The metal handcuff digs into my wrist as I adjust in my seat so I can really get into the story. Ignoring the pinching skin, I lean forward, welcoming him into my world.

I think back to that day, so many years ago now. Curled up in a ball on the lumpy, plaid couch, the edges of the cushions fraying, made worse when I ran my fingers along the seams. Shivering as the winds howled and rattled the single-pane glass windows of my friend's tiny cabin on Cliff Island, off the coast of Maine. 

The day started bright and sunny, and like all the other kids who lived temporarily or year-round on the island, we spent every second playing in the ocean and cutting away debris through the woods like explorers and marauders. My best friend Ella had a neighbor, a boy who was older than us, maybe only a year or two, but at the time, the schism of our ages felt enormous. 

He was tall. He spoke confidently and made fewer stupid jokes than the boys Ella and I went to school with on the mainland. Something about that island boy consumed me, and he was all I could think about as we explored the island that summer. I followed him bravely as we climbed up trees and leaped, clutching the makeshift swing as we flung ourselves into the water below.

As that particular day came to an end, I followed Ella, reluctant but resigned, back to her camp; the first dewy drops of rain wet our shoulders, and the shadows cast amongst the trees expanded. A storm was coming, you could smell it in the air.

By the time night fell, it was like a hurricane descended upon the island. Everything shook and howled and whistled, but the adults weren't concerned, and neither was Ella, so I forced myself to pretend I wasn't scared, too.

We curled up on the couch in the small den—Ella called it the inside-outside room because although there were four walls and a roof, the floor-to-ceiling rattling glass windows still made you feel like you were outside. Hovering together under mounds of blankets, Ella's parents flipped through the channels of their old TV—at that time, they could only get basic cable, and it sat like a gargantuan box on the floor, surrounded by towers of VHSs and DVDs—and landed on a movie. A lime-green light and eerie music set the first scene.

Ella's parents argued over whether they should let us watch it or not. In the end, her mom sighed and told her dad he could be the one to deal with us girls if we were up all night crying from nightmares.

That's not what happened, though. Because I was eight years old and about to learn the name of the man who would change my life forever.

'What's this movie called?' I whispered to Ella, who loudly reiterated my question to her parents.

Her dad responded between chews of soggy popcorn, 'Tommyknockers.'

It was a weird movie. I felt like my mind was being twisted and warped and corrupted, then pet gently to rest when the movie came to an end.

'It's a Stephen King. You girls've heard of 'im, right? He's a Mainer,' her dad announced proudly. As if we had a claim to him. As if we should know him.

"That was when my obsession started," I return to the present, explaining to the officer in front of me. His pen lifts off the yellow-lined notebook, sparking my curiosity. Why wouldn't he use a laptop to take my statement? Surely that would be easier? 

I like the drama of the pen and yellow-lined pages. Like we're back in the fifties, and he's trying to get me to talk by making the room a little too hot and the light too bright. Any second now, his partner, the good cop, will come in here and offer me a cigarette and a whiskey.

"Miss Clark," Officer Dougher prods, annoyed that I keep getting lost in my head. 

"I didn't play with the other kids the next day. I didn't care about the tall, handsome boy next door. After the movie ended, I asked Ella's parents about Stephen King, and her mom casually explained, while folding musty old blankets and picking up remnants from our slumber party in the inside-outside room, that she had a few of his books lying around somewhere. I just had to dig around and find them." I tell the story like I'm writing it down, with nuance and interiority.

"You see," I tell the cop—or is he a detective? His plain clothes point to the latter, but he's the same man who caught me outside the tall, gothic red mansion, handcuffing and stuffing me into the back of his cruiser. "I spent that whole summer, hell, the entire next year reading The Dark Towers. I didn't understand half of what I was reading, needing a dictionary to help me translate nearly every line. But it was nothing like the books we were reading in school. I became obsessed."

Dougher reacts to this word. Obsessed. It's a trigger word, a small point against me, an indication that I wasn't quite right in the head.

"That led me to other authors, of course. Ray Bradbury, Frank Herbert, Clive Barker, Douglas Adams. Then, as I got older, it became Atwood and Nin, Vonnegut and Palahniuk and Bukowski. I lost myself in—"

A gruff throat clearing interrupts my train of thought, and I glance up, wide-eyed and mystified, suddenly immersed in all those unspent feelings of my youth, trapped in a miasma of misanthropy and bibliophilic lust. 

But Officer Dougher and his graying, whiskery, late-shaven face is disinterested in my passions. He wants the crux of the story, the meat of it, the spoilers. He doesn't want the prose or tension. Just give it to me, his eyes scream. Just admit what you did!

He would truly hate reading Tom Robbins.

He releases a long, suffering sigh when the door creaks open behind him, and a second officer, this one clad in standard blues, enters the room, holding a clear plastic evidence bag.

I wince when I see the contents.

The new cop drops the bag unceremoniously on the table between Dougher and me, then turns to leave. I look up, making eye contact with the camera in the corner of the room near the ceiling, the little red dot trained on me, recording my every move.

They'll later use the footage as evidence of my guilt; they'll tell people I bared myself open on the table, as raw and exposed as the smashed plastic and metal drone, now covered in dried blood in the plastic evidence bag, the camera above capturing my every thought and memory. 

My erratic behavior, the evidence bag, and a signed confession are all Dougher wants from me, though, so I relax; he's only got two out of three.

Ignoring his impatience, I smile wistfully. "That was when I began writing. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I took creative writing classes, I got a degree in English and Communications. But I kept getting rejection letters. Over and over again. And then one day," I lean forward, lowering my voice, pleased when Dougher mimics my posture, finally intrigued.

"Then one day, I was in Bridgton at a Walgreens, and who's up at the prescription counter but Stephen fucking King."

Dougher lifts his eyebrows, not getting it. Not understanding

I grunt. His ineptitude is exhausting. "Anyway, when he walked past me, I couldn't help it; I tried to talk to him and I was so awkward, stumbling over my words. But he was so kind and polite. I told him I was writing horror, like him, and that he was my inspiration. That I fell in love with writing because of him, but I just couldn't get published. And do you know what he said?"

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'Not everyone can be scary.' And then he smiled that stupid, toothy smile and left."

Finally, finally, understanding dawns, the doughy man’s cracked lips pressing together thoughtfully.

"And that hurt your feelings? You wanted revenge? That's why you flew—"

"No, of course it didn't hurt my feelings. It motivated me."

Dougher's pen stills on the yellow paper once more, glancing at me beneath his lashes. He's trying not to spook me or slow my momentous storytelling, but he also doesn’t want to admit he’s still confused.

"Look. I was his biggest fan. But his last few books," I lift my palm, bound as it was to the table, and made a 'so-so' gesture with my hand. "I think he just needed a little inspiration. It was kind of poignant, too, don't you think? Very Annie Wilkes of me." I smile proudly, but this idiot still looks confused. 

"Misery?" Still, nothing. "Kathy Bates?" 

Recognition passes his face, and I don't resist the eye-roll.

"That's the one about the woman who's obsessed with the author, and she kidnaps him and makes him rewrite the story, right?"

"Very good, Dougher, even if you did get that from the movie. But did you know that Misery was inspired by another short story of a similar premise?"

"I did not. So… you identify with this… Annie Wilkes character, then?"

I shrug. 

"Miss Clark… what I really want to know is… what happened when you arrived at Mr. King's Bangor home at 12:36 AM this morning?"

I glance back at the evidence bag, the broken drone, which I lost control of, and the smattering of blood on the plastic casing.

On the one hand, I could tell him the story of how it all went so sideways, not at all according to my plan. 

Or, I could tell him what actually transpired while adding narrative, a creation of my own making.

"Alright, Mr. Dougher. Here's the story of what happened last night when I arrived at Stephen King's mansion…"


September 16, 2023 20:08

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

92 comments

David Sweet
16:25 Sep 23, 2023

Awesome! I actually got to stand outside his house at night once back in 1987 when I was in college in Maine on a visit. The house is intimidating. Great read. You captured so much in a short story. Fantastic use of the prompt.

Reply

Hazel Ide
16:36 Sep 23, 2023

Thank you David! I've actually never been but I live in Maine and everyone knows where he lives and what his house looks like, I've heard it's pretty creepy. Especially this time of the year this close to Halloween! Thanks again, cheers!

Reply

David Sweet
16:39 Sep 23, 2023

Maine is beautiful. We were there last October, but just around Acadia. It is a beautiful state. Keep up your writing. It is very good!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Drey A
00:54 Mar 06, 2024

I’m gonna say this, I’m young myself and didn’t realize who all those names belonged to. But what I did realize was that you are an amazing writer, Hazel…..I also love things written in first person and murder mysteries……and I’m an aspiring author and to have a community of amazing writers like you in amazing!! Again, I LOVE the story

Reply

Hazel Ide
03:33 Mar 06, 2024

Thank you so much Drey! All the authors I mentioned are now or were at one point amongst my favorites, I highly recommend checking them out! I tried to go in order of how I personally discovered them, but they may not be for everyone :) thanks for your kind words and comments!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Manha Mafiz
09:50 Feb 23, 2024

I think this is AMAZING…..great work!🤩

Reply

Hazel Ide
14:53 Feb 23, 2024

Oh thank you Manha!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Graham Kinross
04:18 Dec 17, 2023

I like that the suspect dictates how the interview is going to go because the officer needs to know what they have to say, even if they don’t want to hear the whole thing. I like that you lamp-shaded the Anne Wilkes thing because that’s what I was thinking as I read it. It also reminds me of a man who managed to break into Buckingham Palace and sat on the end of the queens bed staring at her until the police came. I like your references to so many writers I enjoy. Thanks for sharing this.

Reply

Show 0 replies
01:47 Dec 03, 2023

Well done, Hazel. I was pulled into Miss Clark's story so deep that I was not prepared for the open ending. Well done, indeed.

Reply

Hazel Ide
03:46 Dec 03, 2023

Thank you so much Phyllis!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Fiona Stanley
04:20 Nov 13, 2023

Congratulations on your win! I love this story and I want to hear what happened when your MC arrived at Stephen Kings mansion!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Amanda Lieser
18:37 Nov 11, 2023

Hi Hazel! Congratulations on the win!! It was well deserved because you got into the mind of your narrator so beautifully. You touched on hard feelings that all creative people have endured-rejection after rejection, failure after failure. And then to meet your idol! Oh my gosh, it’s a dream come true turned into a nightmare. I’m so many ways, she became scary, just the way he advised her. Nice work!!

Reply

Hazel Ide
22:16 Nov 11, 2023

Hi Amanda, thank you so much! Yes, never meet your idols haha

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Elizabeth D.
19:26 Oct 16, 2023

This story is awesome! I love how the main character is so sassy and wants to tell her story. This story matches the prompt PERFECTLY! Bravo!

Reply

Hazel Ide
19:50 Oct 18, 2023

Thank you so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ken Cartisano
00:38 Oct 16, 2023

Hazel Ide, eh? Your name matches your profile picture. What a coincidence. I'm not a huge fan of Stephen what's his name again? (I'm kidding.) I used to make fun of him until I read a few of his short stories, his book on writing, and realized some of my favorite movies were based on his stories. Go figure. My wife and I were passing through Bangor a couple of years ago and we did that thing that people do, we stopped and took a selfie in front of his gated residence. It's so accessible. There's quite a bit of name-dropping, or--paying h...

Reply

Hazel Ide
11:56 Oct 16, 2023

I’m embarrassed to say that I never actually made that connection (IDE/eyed) but my mind is blown now so thank you for that! Name dropping aside, they are all great authors, actually ones I prefer over Mr King, but I’m not aware of any cool gothic mansions of theirs so he fit the bill for my story! Thank you for the read!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Danielle Hall
06:39 Oct 15, 2023

I need more!! haha excellent

Reply

Show 0 replies
Nix Apuzzo
14:03 Oct 14, 2023

Author jokes…the best, am I right? Haha, but actually, amazing job. You deserve the win. Fantastic!

Reply

Hazel Ide
16:06 Oct 14, 2023

Thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
James Jonathan
16:39 Oct 11, 2023

Congratulations on your well-deserved win! The story is incredibly captivating, and I absolutely adored the MC.

Reply

Hazel Ide
20:12 Oct 11, 2023

Aw, thank you James!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Typhus 1099
18:48 Oct 09, 2023

Wow! Very nicely done. You nailed the prompt and your writing flows very well.

Reply

Hazel Ide
20:12 Oct 11, 2023

Thank you very much!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Zack Herman
19:20 Oct 07, 2023

I love it! It would make an excellent "dollar baby" for an aspiring filmmaker! :) Well deserved win!

Reply

Hazel Ide
20:13 Oct 11, 2023

Good call! Thank you Zack!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Jack Nierling
14:31 Oct 06, 2023

I know the prompt is to leave the story open ended, but I couldn't help but think "That's it?! I want more!" when I got to the end. Fantastic work!

Reply

Hazel Ide
20:13 Oct 11, 2023

Thank you Jack!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Lakesha T
11:43 Oct 06, 2023

Very good, kept me interested and close to baited breath at the end. Suspense, I hate it but can't help but love it at the same time when dealing with a good story. Congratulations on this. It was very good and I look forward to finding out what she was up to that night. 😁

Reply

Hazel Ide
20:13 Oct 11, 2023

I know exactly what you mean! Thank you Lakesha!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Jfs Sevin
18:10 Oct 05, 2023

Everyone loves Steven King. great short story

Reply

Hazel Ide
20:13 Oct 11, 2023

Thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Aliah Turner
00:24 Oct 05, 2023

This is for my Jrotc class! Donate today or buy popcorn! Please and thank you. https://instaraise.com/tahlequahjrotc/popcorn/aliahturner?a=17

Reply

Show 0 replies
Dhyan Modi
17:52 Oct 04, 2023

good story but a little long

Reply

Show 0 replies
Sierra Pickering
17:42 Oct 04, 2023

This story immediately caught my attention from the first sentence! I loved it so much, no, love is an understatement. This story was fantastic and so captivating. I love her attitude, her stalling from what the officer wants. Although one question I have is was she stalling to bring out his annoyance? Or because she wanted to make sure he knew the entire story? Or was it because of both? Either way, this book was amazing!

Reply

Hazel Ide
13:39 Oct 05, 2023

Hi Sierra, thank you so much for the read! Good question! I don’t think she was intentionally stalling. I think she’s arrogant and didn’t have any respect for the officer, much less his sense of urgency, but she did want him to hear her whole story, she just took her sweet time getting there. :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.