13 comments

Drama Mystery Thriller

Abby had gotten a hotel room for her birthday party, three actually. I don’t even know why I was invited. Abby is really stuck up and only hangs out with other rich snobby kids. It was after I had gotten all dressed up and drove to the hotel when I realized they probably wanted to embarrass me.

    I was about to turn around and leave when someone from school noticed me, Jake. He hung out with Abby but I kinda felt bad for him. I knew he was a good guy at heart. I knew it was too late to back down so I walked over to him at the elevator.

    Luckily the doors closed before any more snobs could come in. Jake looked like he wanted to talk but I didn’t really care. I wish he would stand up to Abby, I guess that’s why I dislike him. I pity him and wish I wouldn’t. I thought about my plan for the party.

    Maybe I could sneak in and stand in a corner the whole time. One person might acknowledge my existence but if it wasn’t Abby, her boyfriend, or her gal pal Stephine I should be fine. If it was them I would be trapped. They would get everyone to watch and talk to me all sassily.

    I would be dead meat. I had just gotten my plan figured out when the elevator jolted. Jake looked around panicked as the lights flickered. A voice came on over the intercom and told us the power was going out.

    The voice cut out and the lights went out. Emergency lights lit up the floor of the elevator. I looked at Jake and he looked at me. We both thought the same thing, “Abby’s gonna kill us”.

    She was like that. Blame you for something that wasn't even your fault and tell you that you ruined everything when if you had shown up she wouldn’t even acknowledge you. Happened to Patty Jane and no one has seen her since.

    After many minutes of Jake struggling to the ceiling latch open he plops down next to me. That was my cue to try it my 

way. I was short, but I could jump high. I managed to lift the escape hatch a little bit but I couldn’t keep it open. While I fumbled with it Jake was just watching me.

      “Why didn’t you join Abby? She invited you to be friends with her in like third grade”

    “I don’t know, I just didn’t want to.”

     “I wish I was like you”

    “I know, I’m amazing”

      “No, I'm serious. You never wanted anything to do with Abby and her followers and you made it clear. Somehow she left you alone”

    “I guess Abby didn’t care if she was my friend or not”

      “Abby must be scared of you. She doesn't want anyone to know so she is pulling The Cake Stunt tonight.”

    “What is The Cake Stunt?”

    “Just a mean prank she wants to pull on you”

    I knew it. Of course, Abby was gonna do something. No doubt someone would be filming and then everyone would know how I messed up. Why had I come here anyway? 

     I felt better knowing Jake thought she was scared of me.  I sat down and thought about the day I was asked to be friends with Abby. I knew she didn’t actually want to be friends. She didn’t like anything I liked and she hung out with people who bullied me.

    A little part of my wonders what would've happened if I had started hanging out with her. Thinking about how I didn’t join Abby made my wonder about Jake. Why did he join Abby, and why hasn’t he left her. As if to answer me Jake spoke.

    “When I was in middle school Abby was in my theatre class. She asked me if I wanted to be in her squad. I was stupid at the time. I thought I could be like her and her friends. I wish I could leave her. Walk away as you did, but I can’t.”

    I stared at Jake.  I felt bad for him. “Why can’t you?”

“She has blackmail on me. If I stepped out of line she would threaten me. Why does she even want me to be friends with her?”

    “I don’t know,” I said. And I really didn’t. The only thing I could think of is that maybe she likes him, but she has a boyfriend. I was about to speak when the lights flickered on. Then they flickered off. This time the emergency lights went off. We were in complete darkness.

    “Hey, did you know my dad is in jail?” Jake spoke. I looked in what I thought was his direction. “Umm ok?”

    “That was the blackmail. Abby found out because she stole my diary. I never had the courage to tell anyone before.”

      I didn’t say anything after that. We sat in silence until I felt something blocky in my pocket. I gasped. MY PHONE. It was at 50%. Jake crawled over to the phone light. I started playing “Subway Surfers” and he watched.

    After a while I gave it to Jake and he played. The lights flickered back on after about an hour in complete darkness. I stood up as the voice on the intercom spoke. It said the problem was resolved.

    I thought we were done with Abby and her stupid party. I started to click the lobby button but Jake beat me to the fifth floor. I sighed but Jake smiled. When the elevator doors opened we stepped out. 

     Jake found the room number and opened the door. Abby spotted us almost immediately. She ran over and fussed at us. “I was so worried, It MY birthday so you should have come faster-” Jake pushed past her to the center of the room and stood on the couch. “MY DAD IS IN JAIL!!!!!!!!!!” He screamed. 

     I covered my ears. When he was done, Jake jumped off the couch and ran over to me by the door. He grabbed my hand and we ran out of the hotel to buy ice cream.

September 09, 2020 16:12

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

13 comments

Keya M.
14:16 Mar 11, 2021

So cute and sweet Lizzie! I loved the dialogue. It was funny but very easy. Great job! Would you mind giving me some feedback on one of my stories? I'd really appreciate it.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Lani Lane
03:12 Sep 15, 2020

Hi, Lizzie! Really good use of dialogue here. I think there were a few sentences missing periods, just wanted to let you know! I look forward to reading more of your stories--keep writing! :)

Reply

23:48 Sep 16, 2020

Thx for letting me know!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
C.j 🤍
03:28 Oct 04, 2020

Please read my new story 🙂

Reply

Show 0 replies
Tia Castaway
03:41 Sep 27, 2020

Loved this story!!!!! Awesome job!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Kristy Reynolds
22:59 Sep 20, 2020

This is a cute story. I think it would make a good episode on a teen television drama.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Zea Bowman
16:33 Sep 18, 2020

Wow! I really enjoyed reading this story; it was so full of great descriptions, and I loved the way you ended it! I know that right now I'm going to be one of the annoying people that asks you to read my story (or stories), but it would be a big help. Don't feel like you have to :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
20:18 Sep 09, 2020

Nice story! I always love stories when somebody is just like, “Idc about this blackmail. JOKE’S ON YOUUUUUUU! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” lol. Anyways, great job! I love the game Subway Surfers :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Sunny 🌼
16:49 Sep 09, 2020

Awww I liked the ending. It was sweet in a...weird way! Great job Liz!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Avery G.
16:49 Sep 09, 2020

Wow, this was super creative! I loved it! Lol I really like the game subway surfers. Great job!

Reply

17:22 Sep 09, 2020

I love subway surfers too!

Reply

Avery G.
19:51 Sep 09, 2020

Yup!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Unknown User
21:19 Mar 05, 2021

<removed by user>

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2024-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.