57 comments

Contemporary Fiction Romance

That’s the thing about this city: it is always alive. It is like a long winding creature, always moving, always breathing, its heart always beating rapidly, fueled by the oxygen of our hopes, dreams and expectations.

Our lives entangle and separate, but the city never stops for anyone. Everyone is a part of this city, and the city is a part of everyone. It is always a looming presence, sometimes a comfort, sometimes a luxury.

I sometimes wish I were as alive as the city. Maybe then people would stay, just for the joy of listening to my heartbeat, just to feel my warm moist skin under theirs, just to be with me for one more moment.

But I lie alone in my stuffy apartment all day and all night. The others spend it in the company of the lights, in the company of darkness, in the company of each other. Their breaths mingle and their bodies entwine. They become one with each other, while I am still alone.

I used to have that, once upon a time. The lights were still as bright. But now they seem to laugh at me, their brightness only blinding me and reminding of what I don’t have. Once upon a time, they illuminated the other body, they played witness to my pleasure. The darkness was a welcome guest, but the lights still made us feel like we weren’t alone.

Now it doesn’t do anything but remind me of the opposite.

He left a few days back, with his dusty shoes and shirts, taking my hazy memories and chipped pieces of my heart with him. His emerald eyes had lost their shine and his face was red with exhaustion.

Before he left, she had left. Her shock of ruby hair still haunts me when I close my eyes, her small shrewd fingers and her teeth biting at her lip stifling a moan when I was inside her. She had left with chapped lips and bloodshot eyes, her hair still tousled from the night before. The lights had been brightest that night, the darkness the most infinite.

Bottles of liquids that promise ecstasy are flung around with no care in the world, their sticky remains still littering the floors and the scars of the pieces that had lodged into the soles of my feet still a visible reminder of the ones who had abandoned me.

I hope they are lying awake in their beds, their fingers carefully caressing the imprint of the place my body used to lie. I hope they go to the roofs of their stuffy apartments and scream until their throats are raw and the lights blinked in tune with the emotions in their voice. I hope they throw their bottles in their apartments and wish that I were there to pick them up.

I hope they still remember who I am. I hope that the city reminds them.

The windows are always a crack open. To let in some polluted air, the sounds of the vehicles, and scraps of conversation that the wind carries to me.

I have watched people interact with each other through a misty window in the confines of my apartment, and I have no difficulty in interpreting their body language. But there are some grey areas. The moment when she slaps him to the moment her lips are on his are non-distinguishable and impossible to predict. Calmly spoken words can turn into a brawl, a gaze can turn into a tight embrace and a conversation can turn into a confession of love.

The city has seen everything happen, and yet it patiently waits for more. It has seen the relationships that have fallen apart with a few words spoken on impulse, it has seen the relationships that have formed by the simple touch of a hand, and it has seen the mistakes that we make and continue to make. It remains even when we crumble. It envelopes you in a familiar haven of polluted air and too-bright lights and too-black darkness and holds you close.

I have always sought comfort in other people, in the heat of their bodies, in the sweet taste of their tongues in my mouth, in their sweat and their every word. I have sought company for as long as I can remember, and I have gotten it every time.

But it is never enough.

Everyone always has something that turns me off immediately. The emerald eyes drew me in and kept me there until the hands became more intrusive than pleasurable. The ruby hair that still colours my dreams were enough to hold on to her until she pressed her lips so tightly to mine that I couldn’t breathe for fear of letting go.

The city makes me happy.

It doesn’t ask for anything and still gives everything. It stays when the others leave. It makes no promises and never breaks them. It makes the others cry when they see something that brings them to thoughts of me. They curse their fate and the city smiles, having made me happy. It doesn’t try to match our emotions; it has its own. It never lets you down.

People, at least the people I have been with, have done nothing but let me down. They have done nothing but hurt me and taken my heart and left me with nothing but dizzying memories. They have given me the pleasure I wanted, but not the comfort I needed. They didn’t stay as long I wanted them to. They were always scared of me, and I of them. They always left in the same fashion, hurriedly and gasping for breath, looking behind at me and begging for me to ask them to stay. But I never did, and I never will, no matter how much I want them to.

It is a matter of principle. I will never beg, especially to those who can bring me on my knees with a simple glance. They must stay of their own will, not because they pity me or feel bad if they don’t.

All I want is love. This city knows that.

Maybe the city knows when I will find it. 

March 14, 2021 02:42

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57 comments

13:50 Mar 15, 2021

You've got a thing for romance. The character's emotions are expressed so well in this story. The city and the main character's romantic problems are woven together beautifully. The plot and style of writing had me hooked until the last word. I have one critique, though. I have read a bit of your stories now, and I'm noticing the same style over and over again. Don't get me wrong! I love this style so much. I can't get enough of it. It's beautiful, lovely to read, and it makes my day. But I would personally love for you to go beyond and tr...

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Writer Maniac
14:57 Mar 15, 2021

Aww thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I will definitely keep your critique in mind, it's just that I've written so many stories of different types and genres, that I've found an affinity for this style, and would like to improve it further. That's the only reason why I tend to write this way, because if I do publish a book, I want to establish my writing style before that. I hope that makes sense. Thanks again for reading!

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15:09 Mar 15, 2021

Yw! 😄 I get it :)

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Heya! I'm so sorry for the bother, but I got downvoters over 1,200 points. I was originally at 2,246...Upvote for upvote?

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Writer Maniac
02:30 Mar 21, 2021

I'll definitely try to upvote you soon!

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Radhika Diksha
05:48 Mar 14, 2021

a looming presence, sometimes comforts, sometimes a luxury. (Remove a before comfort.) just to be with me for one more moment. ( Remove the just.) Great story, Mania. Bravo. Wonderful. Yes, the story needs a warning. But the story was incredible and the inner monologue was heart-touching. I loved the story to its pieces. But I have to say something your stories have become monotonous now. Like its having the same pattern, the same writing style. Even the sadness is feeling the same. Your stories nowadays stand like biographies, and they see...

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Writer Maniac
06:03 Mar 14, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comment! I'll definitely take what you have said into consideration, thanks again! Can we chat on Hangouts?

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Radhika Diksha
06:16 Mar 14, 2021

Yeah, sure. Also, leave feedback on my stories.

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Radhika Diksha
07:05 Apr 08, 2021

I appreciated you first here, then i felt what I felt personally.

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Amarah Friedman
19:14 Mar 20, 2021

Another beautiful piece. It seems that even though your main character struggles with human relationships, there's an unusual bond with the city. This piece is a bit of a soliloquy-- I could see it popping up near the beginning of a play. Perhaps it could be expanded into a work with more action? I would love to see that. Beautiful descriptions.

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Writer Maniac
02:35 Mar 21, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I'll definitely take your suggestion into consideration. I would appreciate if you left me a like on this story if you liked it, and if you left some feedback on 'Black and White' :)

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Amarah Friedman
21:23 Mar 21, 2021

Absolutely! I would love your feedback on my story, "Visions of the West," too. Thanks!

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Amarah Friedman
18:15 Mar 22, 2021

Just want to let you know I already left a comment on your story, "Black and White." Loved it! I really enjoy your work:)

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Writer Maniac
02:06 Mar 23, 2021

Oh okay, thank you! I would love some feedback then on 'Still Have Each Other' :)

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Amarah Friedman
16:43 Mar 23, 2021

Absolutely! I'll take a look at it now.

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Valerie June
22:56 Mar 19, 2021

Wow, this was amazing! I was able to relate to many of the characters emotions. The short and almost poetic sentences made this piece flow very well and find a special place in my heart. :)

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Writer Maniac
02:44 Mar 20, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

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Amaya .
03:44 Mar 19, 2021

I submitted a response to your form!

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Writer Maniac
04:48 Mar 19, 2021

Thank you! I just got downvoted by about 1000 points, could you maybe upvote me a bit?

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Amaya .
15:39 Mar 19, 2021

I'm sorry, I don't really like anything to do with points (including looking at + following what's going on with my own points). But, I hope that you're happier soon!

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Writer Maniac
15:41 Mar 19, 2021

Oh okay, makes sense :)

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Kanika G
05:54 Mar 18, 2021

A wonderfully written story! Nearly everyone can identify with atleast some of the emotions depicted in it. I loved the last three paragraphs! Well done!

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Writer Maniac
06:15 Mar 18, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I would love to get your feedback on 'Black and White' :)

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09:32 Mar 14, 2021

Gosh, Mania. I will never cease to be impressed by your talent and skill. This piece was written beautifully, and the flow of your words are amazing. The plot is intriguing and I love how the city is always entwined, one way or another. Lovely work! :D

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Writer Maniac
12:11 Mar 14, 2021

Aww thank you, I really appreciate it! I wanted to know, have you read my story 'Black and White'? If you haven't, could you please leave some feedback on it?

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19:53 Mar 14, 2021

I’ll see if I have, and if I haven’t, I’ll leave some feedback!

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Arwen Dove
02:29 Apr 29, 2021

:)

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Writer Maniac
02:37 Apr 29, 2021

:)

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Alana Avellino
11:30 Mar 30, 2021

I really love the fluidity of your writing, grabs my attention right away!

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Writer Maniac
11:34 Mar 30, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I would love your feedback on my latest story, it's surprisingly being received well by others, I would love to know your thoughts :)

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Ann Tillinghast
05:09 Mar 22, 2021

So, I wasn't going to make a comment but I didn't want you to think I didn't read it. It's very descriptive, it's almost like it's how you are feeling right now. Heartbreaks are the worst. If you want to read mine, you can. Mine is completely different and not so detailed, but working on it.

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Writer Maniac
05:56 Mar 22, 2021

Thank you for reading! I will read yours when I get the time :)

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Ann Tillinghast
06:01 Mar 22, 2021

You're welcome and thanks 😊

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Radhika Diksha
17:44 Mar 20, 2021

someone said me here "You are the most negative person here, and I made a mistake to think you as a good person. It's better if you go away rather than spreading hate." Ihc So this is not hated. Hypocrite "So you are talking about me. No, you only talk about me, I know that. Brain cell." Ai So, accusing someone of something they haven't done, then irritating that person every second. If that person gets angry because don't know their life, so if that person outbursts. They go on spreading hate about them to everyone, call for sympathy. This ...

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Writer Maniac
02:33 Mar 21, 2021

I hope that it gets better and the person who has said this feels sorry and realises how much they have hurt you. Maybe you should put this message in your bio. I'm glad you're back now and you do have friends here to back you up, don't worry.

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Paula Dennison
13:03 Mar 19, 2021

The first paragraph is a beautiful hook. It is more like poetry and I liked that it drew me in. It was interesting that in my own mind I was the one laying in the darkness as I read your story with images of the bright lights hitting the ceiling of the dark apartment. The metaphor of the city as a long winding creature was a fantastic and novel way to describe the city. I was a bit confused about who was the main character of the story as the narration nature of the story made it sound as if the story was in the third person although the us...

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Writer Maniac
14:56 Mar 19, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the comment! Who the narrator is, is completely up to you. It could be male or female or neither, completely your choice. I would appreciate your feedback on a story of mine called 'Black and White' :)

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Tera King
17:01 Mar 17, 2021

Wonderful. I've been gone for a long time, and my first day back I discover the work of art that is your account. You're such an inspiration, truly. You put a lot into your writing, and it reflects that. I came here from "Keep holding on" (i needed some covid hope as most of my state is still in lockdown) and you have not hesitated to impress me. Great work! I'll watch your career with great interest (and keep hoping for more!)

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Writer Maniac
02:30 Mar 18, 2021

Aww thank you, that's so kind of you to say! I really hope that things get better around where you live. I would love to get your feedback on a story of mine called 'Not Worth It', which I feel is something that everyone should read because of the important subject matter :)

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Tera King
11:34 Mar 18, 2021

I'm on it! I'll leave you a comment there! Thank you so much!

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Tera King
11:34 Mar 18, 2021

I'm on it! I'll leave you a comment there! Thank you so much!

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Tera King
11:34 Mar 18, 2021

I'm on it! I'll leave you a comment there! Thank you so much!

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Eleanor Eclipse
16:04 Mar 16, 2021

Also my mini review thingy: This story was so phenominal I am kind of speechless. I usually don't enjoy romacnes, but has certianly changed my mind. I am so ahh I don't even have the words. Truly amazing. -Eleanor Also, I really hate to ask this, but would you like to collab one day? I love your writing style and stories. Also, please don't feel any presssure to say yes lol.

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Writer Maniac
02:40 Mar 17, 2021

Aww thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I don't do collabs, but I appreciate you asking :) I would love your feedback on a story of mine called 'Not Worth It'

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Eleanor Eclipse
15:25 Mar 17, 2021

Okay! That's totally understandable lol. I would love to read 'Not Worth It."

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M. Montoya
05:51 Mar 16, 2021

Having finished this story, I can say that a certain type of sadness lingers with the images that accompanied this piece. I think it is because of this young insight, the story is strangely modern in its description, it was nice.

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Writer Maniac
06:38 Mar 16, 2021

Aww thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I would love to hear your thoughts on a story of mine called 'Not Worth It' :)

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Mazie Gray
20:03 Mar 14, 2021

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR...

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Writer Maniac
02:19 Mar 15, 2021

Aww thank you so much!

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Mazie Gray
19:44 Mar 15, 2021

You're welcome so much!

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Radhika Diksha
14:34 Mar 14, 2021

The new part is out. Would appreciate your comments on this.

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Writer Maniac
15:02 Mar 14, 2021

Sure, will check it out!

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Evelin Smith
17:06 Apr 29, 2021

The message of loneliness in this story spoke to my very soul while I was reading this. Thank you for providing a story that evokes such thought. This story should've won.

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Writer Maniac
18:02 Apr 29, 2021

Thanks a lot!

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