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Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Jimmy. He didn't think he was anything special, but he was more special than he thought he was. He could do something no other person could do: he could really talk with animals. He didn't know how he'd gained the ability. It wasn't something he'd been born with. Maybe the accident he'd been in had made his head work differently than before. Whatever the reason, he looked forward to waking up and telling his parents about his newfound ability. How amazed they would be.
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“How is he, sir?” a nurse whispered to a doctor, nodding in the direction of the little boy in the hospital bed. The little boy didn't move and had a bandage wrapped around his forehead.
“Jimmy is still unconscious,” the latter whispered back. “He needs the sleep to help him heal. It's a miracle that he survived the accident. I can only imagine how he'll react when he discovers that his parents are both dead and he's an orphan.”
“Maybe we can postpone that information?” the nurse whispered.
“But for how long?” the doctor whispered back. “He's going to ask about them eventually. You know how I am about lying.”
The nurse nodded. “We won't lie to him. When we think he's strong enough and ready to hear it, we'll tell him the truth.”
The doctor sighed softly. “Maybe you should do that. I think I'll be too scared to.”
She smiled and shook her head. “I've been beside you in the operating room, sir. I've seen you completely focused and doing complicated surgical procedures without any hesitation. You're the bravest man I know.”
“Is that just to make me feel good or do you mean it?” he whispered.
“Both,” she whispered back.
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Jimmy wasn't quite sure where he was.
The last thing he remembered was sitting in the back seat of his parents' car, seat belted, looking outside as they headed home from the movie.
The movie was Disney's “Aladdin”. It hadn't been in the movie theaters since 1992 and now it was being re-released. His father and grandfather had gone to see it in 1992 and had really enjoyed it. This time around, Jimmy was glad he was able to enjoy it, too. The big blue genie was just so funny.
It had been cold outside and Jimmy could see snow falling. Maybe there would be enough to play in in the morning. He had hoped so.
But then a pair of big bright lights suddenly appeared in front of their car, too close to avoid.
Then silence. And more silence.
And darkness. And more darkness.
Then the darkness slowly started to fade, turning to pale gray. Like being awake before the sun rose, watching the night sky go away, replaced by the rising sun.
Jimmy could tell that he wasn't sitting in his parents' car anymore. He was sitting on the ground, instead, surrounded by a circular bed of daffodils and tulips. What in the world was he doing here? He should be with his parents. They would probably be home by now.
Something hopped past. Too quickly to see exactly what it was. Then a few more hopped past. This time he could see them. They were bunnies. They reminded him of Thumper from Disney's “Bambi”.
“Hi, Thumper!” he called to them.
The last of the bunnies stopped, then turned to look at him. It looked puzzled. Then it hopped towards him, until it was a few feet away.
“It's okay,” Jimmy told it. “I won't hurt you.”
“Who are you?” the bunny asked.
“I'm Jimmy,” the boy said.
“How can you talk with me?” the bunny asked. “Humans can't talk with us.”
Jimmy shrugged. “I don't know.”
“Maybe because you're new here,” the bunny suggested and seemed about to hop away.
“But where is here?” the boy asked. “I've never been here before.”
“This is the Endless Forest,” the bunny said.
“Do you live here or are you just passing through?” Jimmy asked.
“We live here,” the bunny said.
“Just bunnies like you?” the boy asked.
The bunny shook his head. “Plenty of animals. Bunnies, foxes, wolves, eagles, owls, bears, to name a few. It's the only place where we're safe.”
“From who?” Jimmy asked.
“From the hunters,” the bunny whispered. “They come with their sticks. They shoot at us and they try to kill as many of us as they can. We hide as best we can. Some day, though, we'll probably all be killed.”
“That's terrible!” the boy said, shocked. “Why would they do such a horrible thing?”
“Because they're human,” the bunny said. “Like you.”
“I wouldn't hurt you,” Jimmy said.
“Then you're the exception,” the bunny said. “Look, I have to leave. They're waiting for me in the bushes.”
“Will I see you again?” the boy asked.
“Maybe,” the bunny said. “If we're still alive.”
“Before you go, could you tell me your name?” Jimmy asked. “I called you Thumper, but that's probably not your name.”
“It isn't,” the bunny said. “I'm Ha'ru.”
“Haroo?” the boy asked.
“Close enough,” the bunny said and hopped away, disappearing into the bushes.
Jimmy heard what sounded like thunder and looked up. He couldn't see any dark clouds, though. Was it going to rain? He felt the first drops falling on his face and hands. Yes, that was rain.
Was there somewhere he could stay dry?
He looked around, but didn't see anything that was big enough for him to hide in.
The rain was falling harder and he was getting soaked.
Then he found a shallow dry pit under a bush. He wiggled under the bush and lay there, listening to the rain.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to go back home, Jimmy thought.
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“Blood pressure 130 over 90,” the nurse said as she removed the cuff from Jimmy's right upper arm. “What could be causing the increase? He was just 120 over 80 only an hour ago. No, wait, it's gone back down again. That's never happened before.”
“Maybe he had a bad dream?” the doctor asked.
The nurse shrugged. “Maybe we should ask the resident psychologist. She might know how to deal with this. With your permission, sir?”
“You have it,” the doctor said. “In the meantime, I'll stay here and monitor him.”
The nurse nodded and left the hospital room.
What could possibly be going through your head that would change your blood pressure both up and down? What in the world are you thinking about? What are you dreaming about?
That psychologist can't get here soon enough. I'm out of of my depth, here.
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The rain had stopped.
Jimmy crawled out of his hiding place and sniffed the air. It reminded him of how he smelled after taking a bath.
He wondered if Ha'ru would come back or if he had to be on his own for now.
There was a rustle in the bushes and Jimmy smiled, thinking it was the bunnies returning. Or at least one of them.
But, instead, something much larger and darker stood there, looking down at him. Something with a body like a horse, but with antlers like an elk.
“Well, what are you staring at?” it asked him. “Haven't you seen a moose before?”
“Only in pictures,” Jimmy replied. “Are you really a moose?”
“Of course, I am,” it said. “Why else would I look like this? Say – aren't you a little young to be out here on your own?”
“I'm trying to find my way home,” the boy said. “I was in a car and then woke up here. I was hoping that Ha'ru would come back. I liked talking with him.”
The moose paused and tried not to stare. “You're human.”
Jimmy nodded.
“And you can talk with us,” the moose went on.
Jimmy nodded again. “I don't know how I do it. I couldn't do it before. Before I was in the car, I mean.”
The moose backed up a little.
“Please don't go,” the boy pleaded. “I don't like being alone in this forest.”
The moose paused, looking thoughtful. “Maybe Gaia knows what to do about this.”
“Who is Gaia?” Jimmy asked.
“She's in charge of everything here,” the moose said and lowered itself as much as it could. “Climb on. I'll take you to her.”
The boy scrambled up onto the moose's back, sitting just behind its head.
“Hold onto my antlers,” the moose said and stood up. “Still there?”
“Still here,” Jimmy said. “Is this going to be fun?”
“It's always fun when I run,” the moose said and galloped away.
As they raced along pathways through the forest, Jimmy asked, “Do you have a name like Ha'ru does?”
“You can call me Mammut,” the moose said.
“It was nice meeting you, Mammut,” the boy said.
“What's your name?” the moose asked.
“I'm Jimmy,” the boy said.
“Nice to meet you, Jimmy,” the moose said.
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“Blood pressure is up again, a little higher than before,” the nurse said to someone as she returned to Jimmy's hospital room.
The doctor saw a woman behind her. An older woman with short dark and silver hair. This was the resident psychologist.
“It's been awhile, Nina,” the doctor said.
“Indeed it has, Duncan,” the psychologist said and sat down on the opposite side of Jimmy's hospital bed. “What seems to be the problem, besides the blood pressure fluctuations?”
“They don't seem to have any health-related source,” the doctor explained. “We've made him as relaxed as possible while he's sedated.”
“Which is why you thought it might be dream-related, Cheryl?” the psychologist asked the nurse.
“If were in my laboratory at the university, I could do a little more,” the psychologist said. “But maybe still not enough.” She lifted Jimmy's left eyelid, shined a small pen-light at it his eye, and then did the same to his right eyelid and eye. “Rapid Eye Movement. Otherwise, everything seems normal enough. When do you think you'll wake him, or do you expect to keep him sedated for the time being?”
The nurse and doctor looked at each other.
“The problem is: Jimmy doesn't know about his parents,” the nurse said. “They both died in a car accident. He was the only survivor.”
“You aren't planning to lie to him, I hope,” the psychologist said, frowning.
They shook their heads.
“But how much can we tell him, without causing any major problems?” the nurse asked.
“The human mind is infinitely able to defend itself,” the psychologist said. “It can also rewire itself in ways we can't begin to understand. Put upside-down glasses on a subject and the mind rewires itself and vision returns to normal. Reverse the glasses again, and the subject goes through the process a second time.”
“You think his mind is defending him right now?” the doctor asked.
“I wouldn't doubt it,” the psychologist replied, standing up. “Call me before you wake him. I want to be here.”
“Understood,” the doctor said. “And thank you.”
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At the center of the forest was the biggest oak tree that Jimmy had ever seen. It looked like it reached right up to the sky, like the beanstalk in “Jack and the Beanstalk”. Would there be a castle up on one of the clouds? He hoped so.
In front of the tree was a pond. A woman lay next to it, her eyes closed. She had long green hair, green eyes, and wore a green dress that reached down to her bare feet.
The moose cleared his throat. “Excuse me,” Mammut said. “I hope we're not interrupting.”
“That depends,” the woman said. “What do you need?”
“Another human has arrived in the Endless Forest,” the moose said.
The woman opened her eyes, blinked a few times. She sat up and looked at the moose. “Where is the human?”
Jimmy waved. “I guess that's me.”
“A child?” the woman asked and sighed. “They keep getting younger. All right. Dismount.”
“I don't know how,” Jimmy said.
“Same way you climbed on,” Mammut said and lay down as low as he could.
Jimmy slipped off. “Thank you for the ride,” he said to the moose.
“You're welcome, Jimmy,” the moose said, standing up again. “Do you need me?” he asked the woman.
She shook her head. The moose turned and galloped away.
“You're Jimmy?” the woman asked the boy.
He nodded.
“I'm Gaia,” the woman said. “Follow me.”
She led him to the lowest section of the tree, where the trunk seemed grow right out of the ground, with huge roots spreading out in all directions except where they stood. She knocked on the trunk. A door appeared and opened.
Once they were inside, the door closed and disappeared.
“Are we really inside a tree?” Jimmy asked.
“Indeed we are,” Gaia replied. She crouched in front of him, checking him out much like a doctor would. “You seem to be in good shape. I can't see why you would end up in the Endless Forest. Maybe a mistake happened. Maybe you're here too soon.”
“Does that mean I can go back?” he asked. “Back to my parents? Back home?”
A bright flash suddenly covered Jimmy's face. He instinctively covered it, trying to protect himself from getting blinded.
“Make it stop,” he complained. “It's too bright.”
Then the flash disappeared, almost as suddenly as it had appeared.
“That's better,” Jimmy aid. “What was that?”
“Someone's checking to see if you're all right,” Gaia said. “Apparently, they're satisfied.”
“Does that mean I'm okay?” he asked.
“It means that you have to decide whether to stay here in the Forest, or go back where you came from,” she said. “Which would you rather do?”
“I want to be with my parents,” Jimmy said. “I want to go home.”
“I'm afraid that you can't be with your parents,” Gaia said. “Not anymore.”
He started to cry. “No! Don't say that!”
“I can't lie to you, Jimmy,” she said. “Mother Nature can't lie to anyone. Not even to herself.”
“I want them to live!” he said. “Make them live again!”
Gaia looked thoughtful again. “Do you really want that? No matter what the cost was?”
His tears slowed. “What would it cost?”
“There are two options,” she explained. “Either you get to live … or they get to live. You can't have both. Not in your world.”
“Where could I have both, then?” Jimmy asked. “Here in the Forest?”
Gaia nodded. “If that's what you really want.”
“I really want it,” he said.
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Jimmy's hospital room was filled with more people than it had ever been filled with. All of them trying to figure out what went wrong and how to prevent it from continuing. But nothing they did did any good. He just lay there, his eyes closed.
Only this time he was smiling.
“At least he's happy now,” the psychologist said. “Wherever he is, he's happy.”
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As they left the tree, Jimmy thought he heard his name being called. He saw his parents running towards him, arms outstretched. He ran toward them, crying with happiness, and hugged them both.
“You're okay again, you're okay,” he told them. “Everything's going to be back to normal now.”
His parents looked at Gaia. “Thank you,” they told her.
She inclined her head. “Thank your son. It was his love for you that brought you here. You're very lucky, the two of you.”
As she spoke, there were sharp, loud noises. Almost like thunder, but the sky above the tree was clear.
Gaia's expression darkened. “They have come back. I warned them not to, but they wouldn't listen.”
Animals arrived soon after, frightened and looking for somewhere to hide. Ha'ru hopped over to Jimmy and snuggled against him. Mammut walked over to him. Both were trembling, asking for comfort. He petted them as best he could.
“There's nothing to be afraid of,” Jimmy told them. “Nothing at all.” He looked at Gaia. “Is there?”
“Not as long as I'm here,” she said. “You are safe as long as you stay near or inside my tree.”
“What are you going to do?” Jimmy's mother asked Gaia.
“What must be done,” the latter replied and departed.
Just a few minutes later, there was silence. Absolute, total silence. The sky turned pitch black and they heard a sudden clap of thunder like a very loud bomb blast going off much too close to them. Silence returned. Then the sky cleared again until it was blue with fluffy white clouds here and there. After another few minutes, birds began to chirp and sing, tentatively at first, then more confidently.
Gaia reappeared. “You won't have to worry about the hunters anymore.”
“What did you do?” Jimmy's mother asked her.
“What had to be done,” Gaia replied. “It is my job to defend the natural world and defend I will against all who threaten it.”
“Does that mean it's lunchtime?” Ha'ru asked.
Gaia smiled and laughed softly. “Are you ever not hungry, my furry friend? You and all the other bunnies?”
“Sometimes,” he admitted. “Thankfully, not often.”
“May you never change,” she said and turned to face them all. “Let the feast of celebration begin. The Endless Forest and all who live in it will be safe forever.”
And they all lived happily ever after.
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Great story. I love the way you have crafted this story. Well done !!!
Could you please read my latest story and share some feedback on it. Thanks a lot
~Palak Shah
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Glad you liked it.
I'll try to read your story as soon as I can. One warning, though: If a recommended story doesn't interest me, I apologize. But I won't downvote it. I'll read something else instead. I hope you'll understand.
Btw, I've already read (and no doubt commented) about two of your stories already. One thing I've noticed is that when you write dialogue, you tend to do this (and you're not the only writer on this website who does it):
"I'm all right." I said. [this is just a made-up line to use as an example.]
The first period should be a comma. However, if you wrote instead:
"I'm all right." Her voice was tight; why couldn't they just leave her alone? [This is also a made-up line.]
Then the period before the close quotes is correct.
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That's fine; everyone has a different taste in stories so it doesn't matter.
Yeah, I have been getting a lot of my punctuation and I think I really need to improve on that as soon as possible; I think as I write more my punctuation will just fall into place naturally.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading my story and sharing your feedback that was wonderful
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Glad to hear it.
Maybe that's the way they do punctuation where you live? Different writing rules in different countries. Kind of like spelling where if you aren't American, you tend to spell (for example) "colour" instead of "color". There's nothing wrong with it so I wouldn't mention it in editing comments. After all, being born overseas (my late father was in the US Army and stationed in Germany when I was born), the books that my parents read to me when I was little (that is, up to age 5; we moved from Germany to Turkey when I was 2 years old, and then from Turkey to America when I was 5 years old; I've lived in America ever since) were pretty much all published in England, so the books had the English spelling.
You're welcome. I think the stories I've submitted to this website have improved mostly because of feedback, support, and encouragement from other writers on this website. Sometimes the editing help comes from my mother (who's really good at spelling and grammar). She's caught some mistakes (including missing words). The rest of the time it's from me rereading again and again, hoping that I won't find yet more things missing or wrong. One story took me about 5 hours to write (10 pm to 3 am, I think) and then over the next five days I kept finding mistakes each time I reread the story. Finally, I had to let go of the story and go on to something else. Otherwise, I'll probably start ruining a story rather than helping improve it.
One thing that's nice about this website is that, as long as you're reacting to a story prompt, most readers and judges don't seem to mind when I wander out of the usual story topics and write about other things. It's allowed me to experiment with topics, ideas, etc. that interest me without feeling that someone will say, "But this isn't your typical fiction, fantasy, or science fiction story. What's going on here? Go back and write about normal things, for Pete's sake." I figure if Stephen King can write non-horror stories, then why can't I write non-werewolf, non-vampire, etc. stories?
Btw, I've been inviting some of the writers on this website to my blog (I started it last week; it's my first -- and, so far, only -- blog). You're welcome to visit it as well. Here's the link:
https://russianteacookie.wixsite.com/philipsjournal
If you can think of any ways to improve it, feel free to suggest them. I'm trying to make the blog a place for creativity (poetry, stories, photography, and maybe someday book reviews). So far, so good. I'm going to try to add material to the blog every two days or so. Some will be things people on this website have already read (stories that I've submitted here and poems I've shared with fellow writers), some will be new things (stories that have nothing to do with story prompts; maybe stories that fill in the "gaps" between already existing stories). I'm learning as I go, so mistakes have happened and I've tried to fix them wherever I can. If you want to comment on the blog, you have to create a login account (like you did for Reedsy Blog's website).
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Yeah I also live in England but I read lots of American novels so I think that would have a major impact on my writing.
Yeah I just read my story aloud and hope to find some errors or I get someone else to read it out to me. I think I have also massively improved on this platform due to all the feedbacks I have been given :))
I love the way people take a perception on the prompts it is wonderful; I find it hard to think of an idea on the spot and it is very hard for me to find the right story to fit the prompt and it takes me 2 days to actually think of a suitable story lol :))
Thanks for inviting me; I have just checked it out and it is an amazing page to be on. Well done !!!
Yeah, for the time being I don't have any improvements on your website and I think it is amazing. Yeah I think I will also create a account for it because I really want to see you stories.
Have a good day :))
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I guess it was different fifty years ago. There were American books published in Europe, but I guess I was still too young to read most of them. My father would read aloud from books like the English translation of the Asterix & Obelix comic books (published in England, not in America).
I try to edit my stories as best I can, but I still miss things. I'm grateful that readers help me to track down the mistakes I didn't find before submitting the stories to this website. The mistakes aren't plentiful, but if they really interfere with understanding the story, then even one mistake is too much.
I wish I were as creative these days as I was last Autumn and Winter. Maybe I'm going through another creative drought, as I call them. It isn't just the prompts that aren't inspiring; even the ones that *are* inspiring don't always help me produce a good enough story. Or maybe it's the poor sleep I'm getting (I'm experiencing chronic pain in my lower left leg and foot; I can block it with Naproxen Sodium, but the blocking is only temporary; the pain returns and then I have to use Naproxen Sodium again; the side effects aren't pleasant but if the pain is too much I can't fall asleep, and it's already hard enough falling asleep as it is; I don't remember the last time I was able to sleep through an entire night without any interruption by bathroom breaks and leg pains). When I get more sleep, it seems to help my creative thinking.
You're welcome. I'll keep trying to add to my blog (starting with what I'll already have on this website and on my computer's hard drive), and when that material runs out, I'll add new material whenever I can. I have plenty of poems that I've never shared (I didn't think they were the ones that were good enough) and plenty of incomplete short stories or unedited complete short stories. Maybe this is a good time to go back and try to knock them into shape.
I wish I could add an advert for Barnes & Noble (and any other bookstore). I've already mentioned this website in links above the stories (according to the FAQ on this website, it's part of what you have to do if you post your stories on other websites; I hope I've done it the right way on the blog).
It's weird that for once I haven't told my mother about something good that I've done. Believe it or not, I haven't yet told her about my blog. I'm not sure why I haven't. If I can share stories and poems with her, why can't I share the blog with her? Maybe I just keep forgetting to.
You too. Hope you had a really nice Easter weekend.
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Yeah, it is fine that you didn't like my story. I don't mind but your feedback was fab and now my story sounds so much better. Thank you so much :))
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Good work on this! A beautiful, yet sad fairy tale. Definitely a creative take on the prompt as well. Having Jimmy be so childish and innocent really twisted the knife when it came to the ending.
As a note, I thought the dialogue between the nurse/doctor/psychologist could have sounded a bit more ... realistic? Apart from the moment when the nurse says "Both", that was good. It seems to me there wouldn't be this whole reiteration of should we tell him, let's not lie to him. I'm sure this isn't the first time they've been in this situation. There should be a set procedure for them to follow, unless they're new to the job (which doesn't seem to be the case).
Overall though, great story. I liked it a lot.
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Thank you. I was aiming for something more like the original Grimms' fairy tales. The ones which were too dark for the parents reading them to their children. The ones that Disney wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole without getting rid of all the dark stuff first.
I don't think it was entirely sad. Yes, it had its sad moments. Jimmy's parents died in a car accident. But in the end, his love for them brought them back to life ... just not in our world. The Endless Forest is not a place of innocence. It's a place of love and safety. Those who try to mess with it get what's coming to them. "Don't mess with Mother Nature."
If I had more words and more experience in hospitals (except as a patient or as a friend of a patient or as a family member of a patient), I probably could've written much better dialogue. But I was already writing a story that wasn't the kind I prefer to write. I was outisde my comfort zone and really wanting to be back inside it as soon as possible.
The repeating about not-lying-to-Jimmy had to be done because it was first discussed by the nurse and the doctor (when the psychologist wasn't present) and then the psychologist (who didn't know what they'd decided to do) hoped that they wouldn't lie to Jimmy. I hope that makes more sense. Also, I think it was compassion that was driving the need to discuss what to tell Jimmy and what could be left unsaid. They really cared about him and wanted him to know as much of the truth as possible. As it turned out, they need not have worried. But they didn't know that before then.
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In case any readers of this story haven't read my responses to comments about it:
The idea of the boy who can talk to animals when he's asleep isn't mine. It's Laiba's. She very kindly let me borrow her idea.
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This story was amazing, and I loved every bit of it. I think that’s it’s really cool how you’re able to write in many different genres.
I also liked how you jumped between Jimmy’s perspective to the doctors POV. I might just be overthinking this, but it’s kind of like the doctors and nurses represented the “reason” in the story while Jimmy and the Endless Forest represented the realm of “fantasy and dreams.” Along the way when we met each animal it really allowed Jimmy’s character to shine through, especially his innocence. I actually searched up the meaning behind each characters name, and I thought that the meaning behind them were beautiful! The ending was just to bittersweet, and I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this fairytale.
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Glad you liked it.
If you read my responses to Nainika and Asha, you'll learn more about how the story came to be. For instance, one of the ideas wasn't mine: It was Laiba's. The idea about a boy who, when he's asleep, can talk with animals. She kindly let me borrow it.
I was thinking that there were two worlds: the real world (or "earth") and the forest world (or "heaven"). The doctors and nurses wanted Jimmy to stay in the real world, but it's possible he wouldn't have survived there. Instead, he gets to live in another world where he's much happier. Where he has new friends, and his parents are alive again.
I'm not sure how old Jimmy was supposed to be. I'm guessing somewhere around 7 or 8 (or maybe 9) years old. It's hard to write from that point-of-view when you're 53 years old. I did what I could.
I'm not sure I'll write another fairy tale, but if I do, at least I know that I can step out of my comfort zone and can still write interesting stories. For the time being, I think I'll go back to writing my usual kind of stories. There is plenty of material there to work with. The fairy tales could be like a rest break every so often.
Meanings of the names: I didn't consciously choose names with specific meanings. I chose names that seemed to fit the characters. Ha'ru sounded good at the time, but in hindsight, it sounds a lot like "hare" (he's a bunny, after all). Mammut sounded like a good name for a moose. Jimmy, because I liked it. For the nurse, doctor, and psychologist, I just chose their names as I went along. Unlike in other stories, I didn't go online and try to find what seemed to be just the right name for them. I just thought, "Nina. Okay. You're Nina, then." Gaia, because she's the Earth Mother (aka Mother Nature). I almost considered spelling her name "Gaea", but decided that I liked "Gaia" better.
Btw, if you want to read a book where I borrowed the "hunters" from, I can recommend: "The Quest for the Faradawn" by Richard Ford. I'm not sure if it's still in print (it came out about 40 years ago). I can also recommend "Watership Down" by Richard Adams, which I think is where I borrowed "Ha'ru" from. An animated movie was adapted from the latter book and I saw it when I was in junior high school. For an animated movie, it certainly had its dark moments.
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Even though writing a fairytale story might not be your genre of choice, it's probably nice to take a break from what you usually do. Unfamiliar genre's can be pretty difficult to work in, but I thought this one went well. I'll check out your other comments on this story, too.
I've been wanting to read Watership Down for a long time, thanks for reminding me of that one. On Netflix, I'm not sure if they still have it or not, but there were episodes based on Watership Down. I watched the first few, but I didn't want any spoilers before I actually read the book.
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Agreed. It might even be helping me to write the stories I prefer to write.
I haven't seen the animated version of "Watership Down" in a very very long time. But I remember thinking that it was well done. A little scary at times for a 13-year-old in 1980 (my mother, my two older brothers, and I saw at night, which probably helped the mood that I watched the movie in), but it was nowhere near as scary as "Night of the Living Dead" (which I've seen once and don't want to see again; too scary for me).
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I’m not into scary stuff, either. I don’t often read, write, or watch horror. I feel like today’s movies or tv shows put so much extra violence, blood, and gore in them. I might read something a bit scary (in my opinion) because at least I can picture and imagine what I want to see.
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Sometimes scary can be fun to watch. Especially older movies, like Japanese horror movies of the 1950s and 1960s (okay, it's mainly the bad English dubbing that makes me laugh at them). Some of the horror movies from the 1920s to the 1950s is rather well done. Like "Nosferatu" (which came out in 1922), "Frankenstein" and "Bride of Frankenstein" which came out in the 1930s, "The Mummy" (starring Boris Karloff), etc. I learned from a Neil Gaiman essay that the stereotypical blow-up-the-lab scene began with the scene near the end of "Bride of Frankenstein". The early horror movies (before the 1960s) seemed to be more focused on story than on blood, gore, etc. After that, they just went downhill in quality, in my opinion. Unless you're a kid in elementary school, chances are good that the shark-blowing-up scene in "Jaws" likely won't scare you (especially when you learn that it was a mechanical shark, not a real shark). But there is one good line from that movie (and I think it was ad-libbed), "You're going to need a bigger boat." But movies like "Nightmare on Elm Street", "Halloween", and "Friday the 13th" try too hard to scare and don't try hard enough to tell a story. Maybe that's what's wrong with Hollywood movies today: they rely more on visual effects than on story.
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1. While yes, there probably *were* some other orphans that probably wanted to escape just as badly as Cora, she escaped by herself. She was kind of more of a loner back then and didn't really have anyone, she mostly started to get her abandonment fear once she befriended Axel and Reboot, though it's always been in the back of her head through all the years.
2. There'd probably be a lot of reasons for her not wanting to talk about her siblings and other family, possibly because she just doesn't want to talk about a lot of it. Or again, maybe she still just doesn't remember anything about them, or if she does then maybe she and the sibling just didn't have that good of a relationship for a while. Cora just kind of has a sad past to be honest.
3. Wix? I've actually never heard of that one before, though I don't really know a lot of blog-type websites, to begin with.
4. I just kind of forgot to do this one when I was typing all of this down. Though I did think of something, if your not as busy with writing new stories, I could give you *more* little scene ideas? I'm sure you'd want a couple more or something? We've been talking about the same ones for a little while now, though it's fine if you don't want to.
5. I still haven't checked anything out for it, though how many Tv series and movies have there been for it? Is it a really popular thing or something?
I could also never find the thing where you said you continued the thread, so I just started the new one on here.
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This is definitely easier to read. I wish the thread margins didn't keep shrinking as each thread gets longer.
1. I can sympathize with Cora again. It's not easy depending on others when you've mostly depended on yourself. How could you possibly trust that the support would always be there? Without warning, it could be taken away and you're back on your own again. (Of course, if it's living support, that support tends to have a finite lifespan anyway.)
2. I wonder if Cora wasn't the only child in that family who escaped. But she might've been the only one who was captured and forcibly taken to an orphanage. I wonder what would happen if she ever met the sibling who escaped from that family? Could they trust each other or not?
3. Wix is one blog software website. Wordpress is another one. There might be still others I know nothing about right now.
Right now I'm defragging my computer's hard drive, in the hope that it *might* speed up the computer (and thus the blog software) at least a little bit. Of course, it might be a lesson in futility and prove to do no good at all, blog-software-wise. I won't know until I try accessing the blog after the defragging finishes (it's up to about 74% out of 100% right now). I'm definitely getting a baptism-of-fire type of exposure to blogging. It's sometimes fun, but mostly it's just really slow and frustrating.
4. This might be a good time to suggest ideas about Cora/Axel/Reboot or whatever. I haven't written a story this week that I think is worth editing/rewriting and then submitting. Maybe I should've sketched it out more fully via brainstorming notes.
I *did* write a sort-of poem about the legacy of Mahatma Gandhi. It was meant for Asha Pillay and she said it was excellent and wants to share it with her English class students (once the lockdown allows for classes again in India). So the creativity is there inside me, but, as usual, it's kind of hard to predict when, how, where, and why it'll express itself. Unlike my late father, I improvise. When he had to write something (text or music), he would build its basic structure first (where it started, what steps it had to go through, and where it might end). I tend to wing it (aka "pantsing" in today's vernacular) and hope that something good enough results (I don't always get a good result, though).
5. Maybe you should try watching Star Trek and Star Wars clips on YouTube first, before committing to spending money on things like Netflix.
But I told you in my last response where I started a new thread. It was at or near the end of that response. I went back and checked and this is what I said there: "Look in the responses to "A New Friend" (one of my earlier stories). I continued this thread there. There was only one response there and I figured that that might be a good spot for a thread continuation."
Now we have two places to continue this ever-growing discussion.
Sometimes I really wish that this website had an area for threads that don't have to do with submitted stories while still being about creative writing and what inspires it.
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1. I can kind of imagine that when Cora first became friends with both Axel and Reboot, she'd probably be a bit surprised by how much they care for her and possibly be a bit confused aswell due to her fears and everything else that's happened. If she got injured or sick (just during the time when they were first getting to know each other after they first met) she'd probably just be very confused that their helping her.
2. Well, if that *was* the case, then her sibling could possibly be a little happy to know that they have somebody else, but would obviously be a little shocked to see her at first. I don't think Cora would trust her sibling though, at least for a long time. It could be from one of her fears or something completely different.
3. I'll probably go check out both of those things a bit later, just to probably see which would be better or something. I've still just never really done a blog-type thing like I've sad, but it's interesting.
4. Hm, well how about this idea for it? If you don't like it, then I can suggest something else: They run into the head of authority again (who isn't her father, like I mentioned earlier her father died a little bit after taking her to the orphanage) who still wants to get rid of Cora. Maybe he runs into Cora who's alone at the moment, and he knows her fears somehow, so maybe he tries to trick her into believing that they (Reboot and Axel) will just leave her behind or something, that way she'll willingly go with him and then he'd be able to get rid of her or something.
5. Oh, I already have Netflix and a couple of other things. Though that's still a good point, I'll check out a little clip for probably just one of the episodes or something later, I know there's a lot of things for Star Trek though.
Well, they did change it up a little bit at some point so that the threads *wouldn't* shrink, but then for some reason they changed it again so that the threads would start shrinking :/ I don't know why though.
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Sorry that I'm on here later than usual today. Last night was one of the most painful nights I've had in a long time. I hope it doesn't get any worse before it gets better (if it does).
1. Maybe Cora subconsciously empathizes with those who are misfits and outsiders like she sees herself as. Maybe that's why she feels she has more in common with Axel and Reboot than with other humans (or half-breeds) like herself.
2. If Cora *does* have a sibling who thinks like she does, I have the feeling that that sibling probably has become estranged from the family, too. Maybe Cora bumps into them on the street or (maybe) in the orphanage?
3. The blog has its advantages and disadvantages. I'm glad that it exists, but I just wish the software were less snail-paced most of the time. Maybe it's just the nature of the beast and there's no way around it (even if one had a much faster computer and internet connection than I have).
(I have to stop; the pain hasn't gone enough yet; I took two Naproxen Sodium tablets but they haven't taken effect yet -- or at least it doesn't feel like they have; also, I need to get the boiled rice out of the microwave. Brb. Okay, I'm back.)
4. What if Cora witnessed something or found something (or both), and Authority is trying to catch her. Because what if she tells someone what she saw or shows someone what she found (or both)? Maybe it's something seriously illegal that Authority is doing and wants to keep hidden from sight?
5. If you're into international suspense TV series, I can also recommend MHZ.org. It costs $7/month (or it used to) and comes with subtitles. I used to like the French and Italian series, but I didn't like when they started removing episodes that I enjoyed watching.
Maybe someone should invent an anti-thread-shrink ray.
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1. That does make sense, and it kind of is true. This kind of stuff will probably be explained in later parts of the series. By now, she's had to be with the two of them for several years now, so she would probably consider she has a lot more in common with the two of them, and their still her only friends. Or like I said earlier, some of the only people who care about her (besides her mom, who's gone) and they are all almost like a family.
2. I have a little feeling that if any of this did end up happening, Cora might start to get a little jealous and nervous about her sibling. She'd still be a little glad to meet them, but maybe her fears start getting the best of her again and she's scared/nervous that her sibling will replace her, and Axel and Reboot would start liking the sibling more and forget about her. Though she would probably try her best to not think about that.
3. Eh, well I think every website or just anything has advantages and disadvantages. I've still been considering making a game, and I just hope that I find a good thing to make it on.
4. That's a bit interesting, though what if its because she's a half-breed and that's why they are after her? They might not have ever seen one before until now or something, and they want to take her and maybe do tests on her, just something like that. She'd possibly be one of the first half-breeds that anyone has really seen.
5. I'll think about that one. I always hate it when they start removing shows/movies, this has just been happening on Netflix and all of the other stuff I have, like Hulu. I really love watching "The Office" and I recently learned that Netflix decided to remove the whole show from it :/
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1. Kind of like the crew in the canceled TV series "Firefly" (there was also a movie, "Serenity"). "They're a family and all they have is each other," as Jewel Taite (the actress who played the character Kayleigh) once said.
2. You're making Cora sound a lot more insecure about herself than I did when I wrote scenes about her. After the time she spent in the orphanage and surviving on the streets, I think she'd gain some self-confidence. If only to remind herself that if she's survived this long, then she must be good at it. Maybe that isn't self-confidence, but it is a kind of belief in herself. The belief that she has the skills and knowledge to do what it takes to survive. Of course, some of the vendors probably tolerate her stealing food and drink from their carts. After all, they were probably that poor once. They can sympathize with her.
3. You're still welcome to share the blog I created if Wix allows for that. That way you can add material whenever you want to.
4. That makes more sense to me. Maybe the scientists want to know why she survived when so many half-breeds on her planet don't usually survive (instead, they either die in childhood or their mother miscarries during pregnancy). What made Cora different that she survived so well and for as long, compared to the others who didn't survive?
5. That's why I used to buy stuff on DVD and download videos from YouTube. That way I still had the videos even when they weren't available anymore. For instance, there was a Colbert Report episode (or maybe it was after he took over from David Letterman) where he interviewed Smaug (whose voice was played by Benedict Cumberbatch). It was really good and at times even funny. So I downloaded it. When I went back to look for it months later, I couldn't find it. I just that it's been re-uploaded by the person who originally posted it. I wish I'd downloaded some of the MHZ.org videos while I had a membership there. But I thought, "Each episode is at least 1 GB in size. That will take a while to download. No thanks. I'll just watch them while I'm still a member." Big mistake. Even the DVDs are sometimes hard to find, and I can't afford to buy them these days. I'm too poor.
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Another good one by you. You are a very good writer.
I have been going through some of my own issues this end of the month and into the new month of April. My son Eon was born on April 6th and died the same day. So I don't know if anything I have written lately can be called good, but you are welcome to have a look. It could help me some get back into the right mind set and thinking.
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I'm glad you liked it.
I confess -- as I have to others on this website -- that this isn't a favorite story of mine. There are others that I wish had been shortlisted instead. But, since I'm not one of the judges, the decision wasn't mine.
The idea of the boy who, when asleep, talks with animals came from Laiba (she let me use it). That's why I gave her credit for that idea. I thought it was the right thing to do.
I'm so very sorry (which is hopelessly inadequate). I wish I knew what I could say to comfort you. It must have been an absolute joy when he was born and an absolute misery when he died. At least you had each other for that one day. As Alfred, Lord Tennyson, once wrote, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." (It's one of the inspirations for the movie, "Arrival".)
I'll check your stories and see if there are any that I haven't read and that interest me. If not, I'll try to be patient and wait for you to write more stories.
I wish I could say I enjoy editing (both my own stories and other writers' stories), but I really don't. You wouldn't believe how tired I can get after editing just one story. I wish I knew how to edit without getting so tired in the process. But I don't know how to do it like a professional editor would. Either I edit as best I can or it doesn't seem worth editing at all. At least, I only have to edit other writers' stories *once* (or usually, only once; there are rare exceptions). With my own stories, I often reread a story over and over, only to find more missing words, more things to fix, more sentences to rewrite. Until finally I have to let go of the story and go on to something new (either mine or someone else's). Otherwise, I run the risk of ruining a story, rather than improving it.
I can sympathize. It *is* hard sometimes getting back into the creative writing mode. I didn't write anything I thought good enough to submit last week, but this time I think I *might* have a story idea (based on the "speak truth to power" prompt). So far, I have a quote at the top of it, but no story yet. Maybe tomorrow something will come to me ... or, more likely, tonight when I go to bed.
Btw, if you're interested, I've started a blog (via the Wix website). It's nothing spectacular, but you're welcome to visit it. If you create a login (like you did on the Reedsy Blog website), you can comment on what I've posted (so far, an introductory message, a selection of poems, a slideshow of Springtime photos I've taken over the last dozen or so years, and "Breaking with Tradition" (I found out how to post it on the blog without causing problems ... I think I've done it the correct way ... knock on wood). The blog's web address is:
https://russianteacookie.wixsite.com/philipsjournal
If you have any ideas on how to improve it and/or you want to submit anything to it, feel free to do so. I'm going to try to add a story (usually one I've already posted on the Reedsy Blog website until I run out of them and then I'll see what I have on my computer's hard drive that might be worth working on, rewriting, etc. and then submitting) about every day or two. I might even add some more poems. I want it to be a place of creativity, whether written or visual.
Feel free to share the blog's web address with anyone you think might be interested in it. I've already shared it with three other writers on this website: Asha Pillay, B.W., and Jose (I can't remember his last name).
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Heya
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Hi there.
God definitely has a sense of humor. The day before I finally get three car-related things taken care of, my body decides to get temporarily sick. Nothing virus-related. At the risk of TMI, it's intestine-related. Feeling better now. Btw, I'll be out of the house for at least an hour or two tomorrow between about 1 pm and 3 pm Eastern USA time. In case you send me a message during that time and wonder why I haven't answered yet.
Hope your day has been better than mine.
Did you find a story prompt worth writing about? You hinted earlier this week that it might be the trickster one. I've tried writing a story for that one and it fell apart about 2-3 pages in. It felt too much like a scene from Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream". I'm just not that good at writing about pranks, practical jokes, etc. I'd rather write about puns instead. I even thought about the prompt about someone doing good deeds instead of playing practical jokes on everyone they meet. That didn't even reach any on-screen form. So I'm stuck just brainstorming and hoping that Friday's list of prompts will be more inspirational.
I did think of an alternative method of showing creative writing progress, though (instead of the point-scoring system): tiers that have nothing to do with points, but with different kinds of creative writing. You start with Tier 1 (ideas/inspiration/brainstorming), go up to Tiers 2 and 3 (poetry), then Tiers 4 and 5 (flash fiction), then Tiers 6 and 7 (short stories), then Tiers 8 and 9 (novellas), and then everything from Tier 10 to Tier 13 has to do with writing. You can branch off of them, depending on many submissions you make at whichever tier it is. It also allows for working on different kinds of creative writing in parallel with each other (writing a poem while also writing a short story while also writing a book, for instance). Your "score" is actually how many items you submit at the different tiers. Maybe you want to work on poems only; it allows for that. Or maybe you want to write short stories only; it allows for that. I figure, this way the "trolls" have nothing to attract them; Tier 13 isn't the top tier; it's just the tier that has to do with ongoing novel series (more than 5 books). There's nothing that would give a "troll" bragging rights or a target to attack. Whether it could be implemented is anyone's guess, but if it discouraged dishonest "trolls" and honestly reflected a writer's ongoing progress, then I would be all for it.
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I'm not entirely sure if I *will* write a story this week, I'm not really in the mood that much, but I still do really like the trickster god prompt. The thing is, I was kind of thinking of making my own trickster god/goddess character instead of using an existing trickster god and stuff, like Loki.
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Maybe you need to get into a Puck-ish sort of mood and go hob-nob-gobblin' along? *grin*
Making up a new trickster god could be interesting (both for writer and reader).
I'm curious about what prompts will be offered on Friday.
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The only thing I've managed to think about for it is that the character had actually just become a goddess, so they're getting used to it and all that. The new prompts could probably be something about Easter.
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That sounds pretty good. I'm curious and want to read the story once you've finished it and submitted it to this website.
Btw, I decided to try to create my very own blog using the Wix website. It's not much of a blog yet (the photo isn't even mine, but it was a free one I found on the Internet; there are two posts; one is an introductory/explanatory post; the other is a selection of poems that you might or might not have read; I might have to go back and make each poem a separate post if lumping them all together in one post makes it hard to read them), but hopefully, it'll improve as time goes on. See what you think. I'm calling the blog: Philip Clayberg's Journal (not very imaginative, but I couldn't think of anything better). Here's the link:
https://russianteacookie.wixsite.com/philipsjournal
(If you want to comment on the blog, I think you have to create a login account first.)
Btw, it wasn't that hard to create the blog using the Wix website. It just took awhile to copy/paste the poems (I reformatted "The Portrait" so that it looks more like a poem and less like a short story).
I'm heading off to bed, hopeful that I won't receive any joke messages today (because it's April Fool's Day).
I'll try to get on this website before I head out tomorrow to take care of car-related stuff. But if I don't get on beforehand, I'll try to get on afterward.
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Would you want me to give you a few more suggestions on little scenes you could do for the Axel/Reboot/Cora thing?
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Sure! I'm *always* in favor of suggestive suggestions. *grin*
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Here's the idea: Something happens to Cora and she ends up going into a deep sleep, it could almost be like a coma. That isn't really the worst part though, in her sleep all of her worst nightmares are happening, she'd possibly die from not waking up and from the nightmares doing things to her. So basically Axel would go into her mind/dreams to try and help her.
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Or maybe she gets trapped in one of her nightmares and *can't* wake up until she escapes from it? Maybe with Axel's help, she can escape from the "trap" she's in.
Is everything chaotic, like being in a windstorm? Nothing feels solid to her, but she still can't escape and wake up. How would Axel interact with her subconscious mind? Maybe he wouldn't look or sound like Axel at first? Maybe, at first, he seems like another part of her nightmare? A scary monster or a guillotine's blade dropping toward her or a blade swinging like a pendulum. Or things that she thought she'd forgotten, things from her childhood. Things she never dealt with. Things she tried to run away from, but in the end, she couldn't escape from them.
Maybe, somewhere in the middle of all this, is her father. Maybe, just maybe, she's afraid of him? Or maybe she's angry with him for sending her mother away? Maybe he looks tall and scary. Maybe he looks threatening.
"You never loved me," her father's voice says. "You always hated me. Just like your mother did."
"Cora?" Axel's voice tries to break in.
"You never gave me a chance to show what I'm really like," her father goes on.
"Cora!" Axel says. "It's only a dream. It has no power over you."
"Daddy ... I didn't mean to ... we didn't mean to ..." Cora says, sounding like the little girl she used to be. She gets down on her knees, covering her face.
Her father looms over her. "You were always rebellious. You never wanted to do what you were told. And then you ran away. How could anyone possibly love and trust someone like you?"
Cora starts crying. "It's not true, it's not true! Not of it is!"
"Exactly," Axel tells her. "These are some of the lies that are buried deep inside you. It isn't your father lying to you. You're lying to yourself, Cora. Just as you always have."
"What do I do, then?" she asks Axel.
"Tell yourself the truth," he replies. "The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."
"But where do I begin?" she asks.
"Nothing but a stupid, ignorant, lying girl," her father's voice breaks in. "It's all you ever were. It's all you'll ever be."
"At the beginning," Axel suggests. "Where did it all begin?"
She thought about it. Like a mouse that had hidden itself away until she'd forgotten that it ever existed The mouse showed itself, cautious but more willing to be exposed this time. "I remember now, Axel."
"Good," he says. "Tell both of us, then. Your father and me."
"It was the day my mother died," Cora said and she could see it happening as she spoke. "I blamed my father for not doing enough to save her life. I made him the object of my hate and unhappiness. Until he no longer resembled the real father I had. I rebelled out of anger, out of frustration, out of helplessness. I didn't want to be with him. I didn't want to be reminded of a weak, useless father. But it wasn't his fault. None of it was. There was no cure for what my mother died of. He was just as helpless as I was."
She wept. But this time not out of fear and unhappiness. This time she wept for the father she had abandoned and wished she had a chance to be with again. To ask for his forgiveness.
Suddenly her father was standing there in front of her, smiling, with his arms open. She ran into his arms, hugging him.
"Oh, you silly thing," he says, laughing. "How could you possibly think I didn't love you and your mother? Of course, I still love you. I always have."
"I'm so sorry, Daddy," Cora says. "Thank you, Axel. For making me do what I needed to do."
"That's what friends are for," Axel tells her.
"Will I ever see you again, Daddy?" she asks her father.
"Hopefully someday, yes," her father replies. "In the meantime, you'll find me where I've always been: inside you." He hugs her once more and fades away.
"Time to wake up, Cora," Axel says.
She nods. "Will I remember all this?"
"Do you want to?" he asks.
"Yes," she says.
"Then tell yourself you want to remember it," he says.
"I want to remember it," she says and she does. "Why is it so easy this time?"
"Because you weren't trying to suppress it anymore," he says. "Now it's time to wake up, Cora. Breakfast is ready and waiting."
"On my way," she says.
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While I like what you started with, this is what I was kind of imagining for it: Yes one of her fears there would be her father, but another main thing she fears is Reboot and Axel just abandoning her like I mentioned at some other point. I think Reboot would find a way to send Axel into Cora's mind to actually help her with all this and stuff, but she might not be listening to him. Maybe she'd be like "You left me...what are you doing here again? Are you going to do it again? Why'd you do it...I don't want to be left alone again..." or something, I'm not entirely sure. Though Axel's physical body wouldn't go in there, his physical self would stay in the real world next to her body and Reboot, but he (reboot) could find a way to actually send Axel into her mind, when he's in there he could probably touch Cora and all that instead of her just hearing his voice.
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That was actually my second attempt. I deleted most (or all) of my first attempt (it wasn't that good; I was trying to include a Celtic myth and it just fell flat on its face).
I sort of borrowed the fear-of-father from Raven (one of the Teen Titan characters). In "Nevermore", you find out how poorly Raven and her father get along (at least inside her head). In Raven's case, she's angry with her father, but in a way, she's also angry at herself. WIth Cyborg and Beast Boy's help, she seems to find a way of dealing with that inner anger.
I thought maybe Axel and Reboot could help Cora deal with her fear of her father (or her anger towards him). It's hard to admit that sometimes we have to face what's inside of us before we face someone else, because we're all imperfect (whether we're human like Cora, or alien like Axel, or an android like Reboot). Even Reboot makes mistakes (such glorious, wonderful mistakes!). I wonder if there's something Cora has done that she's unhappy about or angry about, something she regrets doing (not just getting mad at her father). Something buried deep inside of her.
Lunch is ready in the microwave and it's beeping at me (the microwave, not my lunch). I'll be back here as soon as I can.
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Once I saw that piano, I knew I had to read at least one of your stories. And let’s just say that I was not disappointed! Your use of tone could use a little bit of work at the beginning, but you really got it into full swing after a little bit! Great story!!!
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I'm not that good at writing fairy tales. I had to step out of my comfort zone to write it. But, thankfully, Laiba let me borrow one of her ideas, and that helped me write the story.
I'm glad you liked it. Maybe, if I get more practice at writing fairy tales, they'll start more smoothly. I was trying to write from Jimmy's point-of-view at first (and there are things he obviously didn't know about yet). I also wanted a fairy tale that was more like the Grimms' Fairy Tales, rather than the Disney versions of them. Something that was a bit dark and not always cheerful, but still managed to end happily. Like Ridley Scott's movie, "Legend", which manages to balance light and dark, happy and angry, hopeful and desperate.
And then, as usual, it's not always easy to write within a 3000-word maximum limit. When I first submitted a story to this website last July, I thought that 3000 words was too much. Then I discovered how easy it is to use them all and still need more. Which is when I decided that I could always continue an overall story via sequels (after all, if the other writers wrote sequels, why couldn't I do the same?), provided that I could find story prompts that were useful. If you wonder why some of my sequels waited two or more months before I wrote them, I couldn't find any useful story prompts until then.
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I really enjoyed it 😊 Thanks for writing that story and the ending wasn't what I was expecting.
If you don't mind, please read mine.
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I'll add your story to my list. I already had another writer asking me to read theirs first. Yours will be next.
I'm glad you liked it. It's not the kind of story I usually write. But sometimes I try to step out of my comfort zone and see what happens there. I'd really rather go back to writing what I usually write. Maybe I can use stories like this fairy tale as rest breaks in between the other stories.
Btw, if you want to know more about the inspiration and writing of this story, please read my responses to Nainika, Asha, and Jose. I tried to explain as best I could how it came together.
As I've said to them: the idea of the boy who talks to animals while he's asleep was loaned to me by Laiba. I hope she's okay with what I did with her idea.
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Thank you 😊
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You're welcome.
I'm sorry if my editing comments are a bit on the lengthy side. You should see what it's like sometimes when I'm editing my own stories. It can take even longer to edit than it does to write. Sometimes I just have to stop rereading for the umpteenth time, because it's all but guaranteed that I'll find more things to add or change.
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The Best as always, I throughly enjoyed reading the story and it kept me glued till the end .
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Very glad you liked it.
Please read my response to Nainika. I explained how it got written and where one of the ideas came from. I'll add some more, though, in the next paragraph:
Some things were added in the editing process (but that was mostly tweaking and reducing the word-count to 3000 or less). I wish I'd had Jimmy talking to more animals, but I thought that, with only 3000 words to work with, two animals was enough. It's implied that he can talk to any other animal in the Forest. What is the Forest exactly? I'm thinking it's kind of like Heaven. A place of happiness and love. Things happen and exist there that probably couldn't in our own world. For instance, the hunters. Who are they? Ha'ru the bunny says that they're human like Jimmy. But how did they get into the Forest? I don't really know. Maybe they died in our world and "woke up" in the Forest and, instead of adjusting in a positive way, they decided to continue acting like they had in our world. At which point, Gaia decided that if they weren't going to appreciate where they were, then she had to teach them a lesson. And she did. What did she do to them? I'm guessing that she probably opened a crack in the ground and they fell into it. After which, she closed the crack again. I don't think she would've used anything like a bomb in the Forest. She's the protector of the Forest, so why would she risk using something that would harm it?
Sometimes fairy tales leave more questions than they answer, so I thought that if I did the same, it would be okay.
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Wow Philip! Amazing story once again. I loved the way you styled story as well as how you created the fairytale aspect. It really brought together the entire story and I loved Jimmy’s character in his development. The entire thing was just so amazing and I love the style that you worked and wove through the entire story. I would’ve just liked to see more of Jimmy’s background and how his past kind of tied into his future and I know it was a fairytale and so I’m being a little nitpicky But overall just an amazing story. I did one kind of similar to this kind of style titled the hidden fairy so if you would like check that out and yeah can’t wait for more!
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This story got a better reaction than I dared hope for. I stepped out of my comfort zone quite a bit further than usual and wasn't exactly happy with the result. But, as sometimes happens, the reactions disagreed with me.
I'm glad you liked it.
The idea of the child who talks with animals while he's asleep isn't mine: I was allowed to use it by Laiba. I didn't want to cite her as the inspiration if the story did badly. But since it seems to be doing well, I am citing her now.
Jimmy is my idea. He was actually an idea for a different story entirely:
Asha Pillay had a story about a doctor working in a hospital during the COVID pandemic. I offered her the idea of a boy with cancer who is friends with the nurses and doctors. The next day, when the doctor arrives, she looks for the boy, but he's gone because he died overnight. Everyone is really unhappy. But when the doctor goes to the hospital room, there's a little girl who is in the bed now. The little girl and the doctor become friends.
But Asha thought I should hold onto the idea instead. So I used some of it in this story (the little girl sadly didn't survive the transition; maybe she'll appear in another story instead).
(I hope this explanation made sense.)
I'm not sure I'll add any prequel(s) or sequel(s) to this story. I think I have enough sequels waiting patiently to be written (and some wait upwards of 2 to 2 1/2 months before being written). But if someone else wants to write a prequel or sequel to this story, they're more than welcome to.
I'll read your story as soon as I can.
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