114 comments

Adventure American Coming of Age

October 11, 2000


I, Lillee Indymin, sat at my school desk, jiggling my leg up and down. Five minutes left and I would be free for the weekend. Mrs. Donnel droned on and on.

“And accountable talk is when you use sentence starters. Can anyone tell me one sentence starter?” She expected twenty hands to raise, but all Mrs. Donnel got was twenty groans.

Fortunately, at that moment the bell rang. There was a rush of chairs slamming into tables, people whooping and hollering, and running feet. I joined everyone else, running to my locker. After opening it, throwing my stuff in, grabbing my bag, and slamming my locker closed again, I raced down the stairs to catch the bus.

I climbed on, then went all the way to the back and plopped down next to Lois, my best friend. She smiled and I grinned back.

“Are you excited yet?” I sat my bag down on the floor and sat back up.

“We’re making a time capsule. Of course, I’m excited!” A couple of kids stared at Lois as she raised her voice, but we ignored them.

“Me, too! I already made a list of everything that I want to put in there. One of the things being a one-dollar-bill. I mean, who knows how much it’ll be worth when our box gets opened again?!” Bending down again, I rummaged through my bag until I was able to pull out a lined piece of paper with a whole bunch of words and phrases scribbled on it. I handed it to Lois and she skimmed it over.

“Looks good. But why exactly do we need to put a paper clip in the capsule? I don’t think those are going to change much.” Lois returned the paper and I stuffed it back in my bag, shrugging.

“Well, what if paper clips end up not being made anymore? Maybe paper clips will be super valuable when the box gets opened.” The bus stopped, and I realized it was my stop. Well, and Lois’s since she was my neighbor. The two of us got up from our seat and rushed to the front of the bus. With a quick “Thanks!” to the bus driver, we were racing towards my backyard where my treehouse was.

“After you.” I bowed low and gestured towards the ladder that led up to the door of my treehouse. Lois curtsied, then began to climb up the ladder. I went up after her.

“Wow! You went all out for Halloween decor this year!” Lois looked around in awe at all of the pumpkins, ghosts, “Boo!” signs, and Hocus Pocus knick-knacks. I just shrugged again and fell onto my purple bean-bag.

“It’s nothin’ much. I mean, you saw the front of my house. It’s just a whole bunch of skeletons, ghosts, spiders, and everything else. You know my mom is crazy about this kind of stuff.” My limbs were sprawled all across the bean-bag and Lois still just stared all around.

“Okay, we have to start getting that time capsule ready. I already have the shoebox and paint. We just have to paint the box. Here are some brushes.” With half of my body still on the bean-bag, I reached onto my bookshelf and grabbed a shoebox. This would be our time capsule. I opened it and handed Lois a couple of paintbrushes from inside.

“Thanks. What colors of paint do you have?” Lois brushed the hairs of the brush on her hand back and forth.

“Right here.” Again rummaging through the box, I handed her orange, red, yellow, black, and white paint tubes. “I thought that we could do like a sunset, or maybe Halloween colors. I don’t know.”


A half-hour later, Lois and I were sitting back on the balls of our feet, looking at the sunset-painted shoebox sitting in front of us. It was pretty decent--of course, it could be better, anything could be, but it still looked good.

“Good job.” Lois raised her hand to high-five me, but looked at all of the paint on my hand and decided otherwise. Of course, I immediately started to chase Lois around the treehouse with my painted hand. Lois was shrieking, but I was just laughing my butt off.

“Okay. Okay! I’ll high-five you if you just stop!” My best friend had turned around and was looking at me with her hands raised. After laughing one more time, I lowered my hand. Then brought it back up to high-five Lois. She immediately grabbed a paper towel and wiped her hand off.

“Alright, let’s go find some stuff to put in it. I have my old phone, some teddy bears from when I was little, and my pup’s old toy. How ‘bout you?” I headed towards the door to start going back down the ladder.

“Oh, just a couple of small things. I’m going to put in a two-dollar bill since they’re so rare, a fifty-cent coin since they’re rare, too, and then just some old toys of mine.” As I started down the ladder, Lois followed down after me. The two of us jumped down onto the dirt, then ran to our separate houses to get our things.


All of the small items were in the shoebox, and now my best friend and I were both carrying shovels looking for a good spot to bury the box. At first, we thought about putting it in the woods, but nobody would find it then. So after circling my yard about ten times, we finally decided to bury it right in the center. Lois sat the time capsule down and we both put our shovel into the ground with a satisfying slide.

For ten minutes, we just stood there but bending down every time we scooped dirt out of the ground. After those tiring ten minutes, Lois and I sat the shoebox down in the hole together. We piled the dirt back on top of it and patted the ground. Lois high-fived me without hesitating this time.

“Alright. Let’s head back inside and study for that stupid test on Friday. But this was awesome.”

“For sure. Vamonos!”


July 5, 2030


“Be careful with that shovel!” I watched my son Lois run out the back screen door with a shovel. For weeks, he had asked me if he could make a time capsule and bury it in our yard. The first time he said it, I immediately said no. It would be too much pain. My best friend and I had done that so long ago. Lois doing it would bring back memories - the good and the bad.

But, Lois had been very persistent and stubborn, so I finally said that he could do it. Oh, eleven-year-old boys.

I walked over to the sink and started to wash the dishes as I still watched Lois through the window. He was running around, trying to find a good spot. Once, twice, three times… twenty times he ran around that yard until he stopped in the center. He put that shovel into the ground, and for a reason I didn’t know at that moment, a warning went flashing red in my head.

When I finished the dishes, Lois was still digging. So when he stopped suddenly and a confused look spread across his face. This spiked my interest and I moved my face closer to the window to get a better look.

He bent down and seemed to struggle to pull something out of the ground. And that’s when I realized what he had found. After a minute of struggling, Lois brought a sunset-painted shoebox out of the ground. My assumption was correct. In that exact spot, my best friend Lois and I had buried our time capsule so long ago. Now Lois was holding it in his hands, brushing the dirt off of it, his face still confused.

“Lois! Wait, kiddo!” I raced from the kitchen, out the screen door, straight to Lois in the center of the yard. Immediately grabbing the box from him (maybe a little bit too harshly), tears rolled down my face.

“Mom? What’s wrong?” Lois looked at me with a look of astonishment, replacing the confusion. He had quite honestly never seen me cry before.

“Just-just come with me.” We walked back inside and plopped down on the couch. I dried most of my tears, sat the box down on the coffee table, and grabbed both of Lois’s hands.

“Lois, do you remember my best friend that I told you about?”

“The one that COVID-19 killed?”

Way to put it lightly.

“Umm...Yeah. When we were just a year older than you, we painted this box, put some stuff in it, and buried it right where you found it. It has been there since then. Thirty years ago. Do you want to see what’s inside?” Of course, I knew exactly what was inside, but I still wanted to see it. Lois nodded silently, and I released his hands to open the top of the box. My son instinctively went to grab the old phone, but then pulled his hand back when he saw the pained look on my face.

“No, no. It’s okay, bud. Go ahead.” I smiled a half-hearted smile. He went to grab it again, but slower this time. When the phone was in his hands, his face was caught between being excited that he had more parts for the computer he was building, and still being upset for me. Lois’s face finally decided - he dropped the phone and reached over, giving me a hug.

“It’s okay, Mom. She’s still with you. She's still with us."

October 07, 2020 21:51

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

114 comments

00:31 Oct 08, 2020

This is so emotional, really great job!! I seriously love this so much!!

Reply

11:32 Oct 08, 2020

Thanks so much, Kylie!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
21:51 Oct 07, 2020

So, I'm not really sure about this story. I definitely don't feel that it is my best work, so just let me know what is wrong with it and I will fix it if I can. Thanks! -Brooke D. <3

Reply

Show 0 replies
Jexica Marcell
18:35 Jan 22, 2021

Omg, so fricking emotional. I loved it its soooooooooooooo good!!! Keep writing, Casssssssssss

Reply

21:52 Jan 22, 2021

lol Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! I will, Kiwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
14:41 Oct 27, 2020

This is a great story! Emotional too. Awesome job! 👏👏 I have 1 request: Please read my story. JK! Real request: Don't stop writing stories like this!

Reply

00:04 Oct 28, 2020

Thank you so much! For the feedback and request. Oh, and for your first request, I will still go check your story out.

Reply

17:19 Oct 29, 2020

You’re welcome! Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
20:58 Oct 23, 2020

I think i was talking to evelyn yesterday or the day before, nothing seemed really wrong. Maybe she's just really busy or she's taking a break? though i don't see why she wouldn't tell anyone or put it in her Bio.

Reply

20:59 Oct 23, 2020

Yeah, I don't know.

Reply

B. W.
21:02 Oct 23, 2020

maybe you should try and talk to her?

Reply

21:13 Oct 23, 2020

Maybe. I'll go and comment on one of her stories.

Reply

B. W.
21:16 Oct 23, 2020

alright

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
17:15 Oct 09, 2020

I made a new story and your in it ^^ go check out "Adventure with friends: part 2" and leave some feedback ^^

Reply

12:05 Oct 10, 2020

Okay.

Reply

B. W.
14:57 Oct 10, 2020

:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
C.j 🤍
04:30 Oct 08, 2020

Awesome story!....this was a really awesome one ! Wow COVID-19 death ....! Good job!👏🏼🤣👍🏻

Reply

11:15 Oct 08, 2020

Thank you so very much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Lani Lane
03:05 Oct 08, 2020

Hi, Brooke! Whoa! So hard-hitting, to make the cause of death COVID. I hope more people read your story, because we need art like this to help people understand what a dire situation we're in. This is so moving. You also have a talent for natural dialogue. Fantastic work. Some thoughts, since I hate saying "great job!" and nothing else: 1. "A couple of kids at Lois as she raised her voice, but we ignored them." There's a word missing there, perhaps "stared at Lois" or "glanced at Lois." 2. "Lois handed me the paper back and I s...

Reply

11:17 Oct 08, 2020

Woah! That's a lot of feedback--and I love it! Thank you so much! Your pointers are things that I probably wouldn't have noticed, so thanks for that! Huh. I have never heard of 'em dashes' before. Now I'm going to have to think about that whenever I'm writing. Thank you! :D

Reply

11:19 Oct 08, 2020

And I just edited it--using all of the feedback that you gave me! :)

Reply

Lani Lane
01:54 Oct 09, 2020

I'm glad they helped!! Great work!! :)

Reply

12:08 Oct 10, 2020

They did! Thanks! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
01:08 Oct 08, 2020

:D this is really good, just like your other stories, i don't think it's bad at all or anything. All of your stories are always so great, and this one was as well ^^ It was kinda emotional/sad a bit which is fine and you still did a really great job with it ^^ why don't you think it's that good? also 10/10 for this story :) also, i think i need help with something, i'm kinda freaking out

Reply

11:20 Oct 08, 2020

Thank you so much, B.! I just thought that it was rushed. :/ What's up?

Reply

B. W.
13:28 Oct 08, 2020

Well it's with some people leaving a lot now because of what's been going on, like the down-voter and possibly some other things. I have some good friend's on here, like you and some people i'm starting to know really well and i'm scared that they'll just leave forever and i'll never be able to talk to them and i just don't know what to do. Like what if you leave forever? What if Vayd leaves forever? What if really everyone leaves??

Reply

19:31 Oct 08, 2020

B., I definitely understand where you're coming from. I have had thoughts like that myself. But here's the thing: too many people are like me and will not throw away this beautiful website and their writing on here just because of down-voting. For a second I thought I would, but I decided that my writing getting out to other people is more important. I will never leave forever--at least until I'm an adult and I don't have enough time. I am not sure about Vayd, but I know for a fact that not everyone will leave.

Reply

B. W.
19:46 Oct 08, 2020

During the time you were gone at least just for a little while i was kinda scared that you wouldn't come back at all, but i was glad that you decided to stay ^^ I know the down-voter is mostly annoying now but i really just hope we could maybe get rid of them and figure out who it is. Like a month ago or something someone thought that i was the down-voter because she (i can't remember who i just know it was a girl) asked that.

Reply

20:06 Oct 08, 2020

I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to get back on, too. I am so glad that I stayed. ^^ They are very annoying, and I'm sure that everyone wants to find out who is doing it. Well, I can see where that person is coming from. At first, when we were all getting hurt, you really weren't getting downvoted that much when you had a lot of points as well. But when you started getting downvoted like crazy like the rest of us, we knew that it had to be someone that no one knew.

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Megan Sutherland
23:38 Oct 07, 2020

Great job, Brooke!! I really loved this! Lois as a boy... is it pronounced Loo-is? Just curious. You might want to check out my bio... I updated. :/ Your best friend, Megan S.

Reply

11:32 Oct 08, 2020

Thanks so much! No, Lois pronounced Lo-is is both a girl's and a boy's name. Okay... Your bestie, Brooke D. <3

Reply

11:34 Oct 08, 2020

No! Meg, you can't leave! But, if you do, I will totally understand. After all, I had to temporarily leave as well. I understand your feelings (because I felt them!) and although I will miss you, I respect your decision whether you stay or leave for a bit.

Reply

Megan Sutherland
11:42 Oct 08, 2020

idk if I will or not. I just hate the feeling of ONE person out there who just keeps anonymously knocking me down, and they won't tell me why. Not everyone has to like me or my writing, but I hate the fact that they won't even show themselves. It just really frustrates me. also i feel like im losing all my friends. I understand people are busy with school, but im on here A LOT. Even with online. So yea, that's me pouring my heart out to you. :/

Reply

Megan Sutherland
11:45 Oct 08, 2020

i miss seeing the notification bell ding yellow. :(

Reply

18:47 Oct 17, 2020

First of all, sorry that I didn't see this sooner. Since you replied to your own comment, I didn't see it. Second of all, I do know that you are staying, but I still want to respond. Third of all, here is what I am going to say to this. I completely understand where you are coming from. That is exactly why I had to leave for that week to two weeks. I get that it becomes overwhelming, and you just can't handle it anymore. Even though it may not seem like it, everyone still adores you, Meg. You have millions of friends here, and they all c...

Reply

Show 0 replies
18:47 Oct 17, 2020

Let me try to change that notification bell dinging issue.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
00:16 Oct 15, 2020

Hi again Brooke, Just a question... Did Aeirin B quit, because I don't see her anywhere...

Reply

10:46 Oct 15, 2020

No, she did not necessarily quit. She is just not being very active. She is still going to post stories once in a while, and she will respond to some comments when she gets on.

Reply

17:14 Oct 15, 2020

Oh I can’t find her account anywhere...

Reply

19:55 Oct 15, 2020

She is in second place on the leaderboard, now known as Cereal Killer.

Reply

Show 0 replies
20:09 Oct 15, 2020

Also, I did your knowledge quiz again! It was just as fun this time as the first. And who the heck are the Williams sisters?

Reply

23:35 Oct 15, 2020

Hehehehehe.... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Williams_sisters Here is an article bout them. They are pretty famous in America and Canada

Reply

19:14 Oct 16, 2020

Thanks! And this just proves that I know nothing about history. Except for Alexander Hamilton because I love the Broadway musical Hamilton.

Reply

Show 0 replies
19:15 Oct 16, 2020

Oh, wow! They are amazing!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ann Rapp
23:24 Oct 14, 2020

Oh, well done, you handled this Covid-19 story very well. I didn't expect that heart rending event because the story was coasting along very pleasantly, then Wham! you hit me. It made me catch my breath. Very clever. You have the ability to make your readers feel your characters' emotions, and that's what makes a good writer! So keep writing!

Reply

10:46 Oct 15, 2020

Thank you so much, Ann!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Thom With An H
17:25 Oct 12, 2020

This was an excellent interpretation of the prompt. It really showed how, even though most people especially children will recover from Covid if you lose a loved one the stats no longer matter. You suggested in one of your notes that you were not sure if this was one of your best works. I think you undersell yourself. This was emotional and relevant and well written. You had a story to tell and a message and it came across loud and clear with style. I really enjoyed it. I used the same prompt and would love to know what you think. ...

Reply

19:04 Oct 12, 2020

Thank you so much, Thom! I truly appreciate your feedback! Of course!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
C.j 🤍
16:12 Oct 12, 2020

.I can not find Mia rinigi on my followers list .....did she leave

Reply

19:05 Oct 12, 2020

No. Her name is now Jenny Blaney. Or something like that.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Crystal Lewis
14:38 Oct 12, 2020

Beautiful. Sad but very sweet at the same time. Keep writing Brooke. I wish I could write as much and as consistently as you! I just can’t find the time! 😭

Reply

19:06 Oct 12, 2020

Thanks so much, C.! Hey, everyone has a busy life. Don't feel bad. When the time is right, you'll have all of the time in the world to write and write and write to your heart's content.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ariadne .
21:35 Oct 11, 2020

I almost cried - such an emotional roller-coaster! Your descriptions are so vivid. Well done! And TYSM for putting me in your bio! You're in mine as well ❤ ~Ria

Reply

00:02 Oct 12, 2020

Thanks so much! Oh, no problem! And thanks! <3 -Brooke D. <3

Reply

Ariadne .
00:50 Oct 12, 2020

Anytime! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
C.j 🤍
04:18 Oct 10, 2020

Thank you so much for putting me in your bio!!! Thank you thank you thank you!🤩

Reply

12:04 Oct 10, 2020

You're welcome! :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
The Daltons
21:57 Oct 09, 2020

I love this story! It's emotional, I love how you switched between the times, and I love how you incorporated our present lives in this! Great job!

Reply

12:05 Oct 10, 2020

Thanks so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
B. W.
03:26 Oct 09, 2020

Hey, if you don't mind me asking, what's your Zodiac? i'm a Virgo

Reply

12:07 Oct 10, 2020

Sorry, I don't know. I know what Zodiac is, but I don't know my personal sign. That's cool that you're a Virgo.

Reply

B. W.
14:57 Oct 10, 2020

Ya don't??

Reply

03:23 Oct 11, 2020

No, I just looked up the definition of Zodiac once but didn't look at what my sign would be.

Reply

B. W.
04:11 Oct 11, 2020

maybe i could help you with it?

Reply

12:26 Oct 11, 2020

Nah, I'm good. I don't believe in Zodiac, so it doesn't really matter to me what sign I have.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
02:08 Oct 09, 2020

I got a halloween name ^^

Reply

12:08 Oct 10, 2020

I saw that! ^^

Reply

B. W.
14:58 Oct 10, 2020

Do ya like it?

Reply

03:22 Oct 11, 2020

Yes, I do!

Reply

B. W.
04:11 Oct 11, 2020

Have you actually seen the movie 'Blair Witch' before?

Reply

12:27 Oct 11, 2020

No. What is it?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.