61 comments

Drama Funny Fantasy

  Nancy thought she must be hallucinating the morning she saw two babies fist fighting in the park. She had had a long raucous weekend. Is this an after effect of eating macaroni and cheese made with weed butter, or drinking too many Irish car bombs? Had she finally pickled herself?

It was a typical Monday morning, and she was already running late for work. She grabbed her purse, careful not to wake the man in her bed. ‘Dave,’ she thought he said his name was. She stepped over her crumpled up clothes from the night before. The single girl’s night out uniform: tight jeans, a blouse, heels and a black blazer. She scribbled a note for ‘Dave,’ grabbed some Adderall and was out the door.

        She strapped the helmet over her day old hair, still smelling of smoke despite her spray on shampoo, and started her electronic scooter. As she buzzed down the street, people swerved at her and flipped her off. She was used to it. The worst was when they flicked their cigarette butts at her. She had lost her license, thanks to a DUI (which wasn’t her fault by the way), so the scooter was her sole means of transportation. She had taken the bus once, but vowed never again after a homeless person vomited on her feet and an old man was masturbating behind a newspaper.

          When she stopped at the light she looked down towards the park, that's when she saw them.

         A crowd was beginning to gather around the babies as she buzzed by on her scooter. She was already late for work. Should she stop? The crowd looked like they were getting rowdy but she couldn’t resist a kerfuffle. She pulled over, kicked the kickstand into place and wandered into the crowd. There was the sound of meat hitting meat, it reminded her of the time she took acid on Thanksgiving and dropped the turkey in front of everyone. She thought she saw the wings flapping on the cooked bird. She never took hallucinogens on a holiday again, not a major holiday anyway.

         The babies circled each other with their dukes raised, taking jabs and bobbing. A thin string of spit ran down their chins. They let out the occasional ‘coo’ and babble sounds as the people watched in awe, and the crowd began to grow. Then one baby threw a hook, hitting the other baby square in his toothless mouth. He let out a huge cry, “Mama,” and head-butted the other baby. The people started cheering.

        Nancy pushed her way to the front of the crowd. “Stop them, somebody stop them,” she cried. As she reached for one of the babies, a man grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Let go of me! Someone help me,” she screamed but no one even flinched.

        “Let them be. Let's see what happens,” the man yelled at her. “This is awesome.”

        “Shut that lady up,” another person yelled at her.

        “Are you crazy! They’re going to kill each other,” Nancy cried, pointing to the smaller of the two babies who had developed a bloody nose. She felt hands on her shoulders and then someone had her by the arms, dragging her to the back of the crowd.    

        “Leave me alone,” she cried, trying to get out of the stranger's grasp.

        “Get her out of here,” she could hear them saying as she was being manhandled by men and women alike. The crowd pushed her towards the back where she couldn’t be seen or heard, as they continued to cheer the babies on. She disappeared into the sea of people and became silenced.

        “This lighting is perfect,” a young person could be heard saying.

        “I already got two hundred likes,” said another.

        The young people took selfies in front of the fighting babies. Making duck lips and tossing their hair, trying to find the best angle as the babies bled in the background.

        The people started placing bets on which baby would win.

        “I got twenty on the baby in the red diaper,”

        “I got thirty on the blue diaper.”

         They cheered as the babies rolled on the grass, slapping and scratching each other. The crowd continued to get bigger and the people started pushing each other to get a closer look. 

        “I heard about these babies from the next town over. I heard they’ve been at it for days”

        “Well I heard it’s a part of an experiment…”

        “I heard they're part of a baby fight club...”

        ”I heard they weren’t babies at all…”

        “I heard their mother left them here…”

        “I heard their father left them here…”

        “I heard they’re doing it for charity…”

        No one seemed to have the right information but the crowd continued to grow, as did the confusion.

        Whenever someone tried to intervene, the crowd pushed them back to the place where their voices couldn't be heard.

        People were live streaming the fight and taking viral videos with their phones as the babies continued to throw jabs and upper cuts.

        “Over five hundred likes!”

        “I was here first.”

         “You’ve had enough time up front, it’s my turn.”

        “Push over.”

        “Fuck you.”

        “Someone help them.”

        “Get her out of here.”

        “This isn’t right.”

        “Shut up.”

        “One thousand likes.”

        “Someone give them a weapon.”

        Then someone handed the babies two sticks they’d found on the ground. The babies started clubbing each other as the people cheered. One of the baby’s eyes started swelling shut as the other baby continued to hit him in the head with the stick.        

        The crowd had become too big, and the people too many. Conflicts began to divide the spectators. Fights started breaking out, and soon shots rang out and people screamed, running in all directions, but there were too many of them, they couldn’t get anywhere. They began running over each other, pushing each other down and trampling women and children alike. Soon no one was watching the babies at all, as they were too busy fighting and taking videos of the new fights breaking out. Children began imitating the adults, hitting and cussing at each other.

         “2000 likes!”

        The fervor worsened and people armed themselves. Soon a terror had come over the park. And the chaos brought out more people looking for just that kind of mayhem.

         The people grabbed pieces of fencing and pipes and began beating each other. Fires were started and property destroyed, until there was nothing left.

        When babies got bored and tired they looked around at the carnage. Fires burned and dead bodies littered the ground as far as they could see. They put their pacifiers back in their mouths and took a nap.


August 22, 2020 02:06

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61 comments

Doubra Akika
15:46 Aug 22, 2020

Your writing is so spectacular. The idea you had for this prompt left me stunned! I loved how the reason the babies were fighting became irrelevant. The action and everything else going on seemed more important (I don’t know if I’m making sense😂). Not great at giving advice or anything but I think this was amazing! I just have a few suggestions... Lets see what happens,” should be Let’s see what happens,” “Are you crazy they’re going to kill each other,” should be “Are you crazy! They’re going to kill each other,” or maybe a question ma...

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20:15 Aug 22, 2020

Wow thanks for all your wonderful feedback Doubra. And thanks for your help with the editing. I will fix those edits. I really appreciate you and your time 😊

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Doubra Akika
20:16 Aug 22, 2020

It was my pleasure honestly! Loved it! Whenever you’re free, would you mind checking out one of my recent stories? I would love your feedback!

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20:21 Aug 22, 2020

Of course be there soon.

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Doubra Akika
20:24 Aug 22, 2020

Thanks!

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20:20 Aug 22, 2020

Although I do have a question. If there are multiple strangers, wouldn't it be strangers’ grasp? Vs stranger’s would indicate one person ?

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Doubra Akika
20:24 Aug 22, 2020

Yeah!

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01:55 Sep 09, 2020

Love your imagination and creativity on this prompt. Thumbs up Sarah!!

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03:41 Sep 09, 2020

Thank you Khadine

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Mark D
16:11 Sep 04, 2020

What a grim, poignant, timely, silly, awful, gruesome, witty story. Disturbing and well done.

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17:27 Sep 04, 2020

Well that’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day. Thank you Mark.

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A. S.
22:55 Sep 02, 2020

I really loved this story! Great job. Your descriptions of the main character in the beginning and gradually fading to the carnage at the end was perfect. Would you be willing to read my story “Thorns” and let me know what you think?

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23:07 Sep 02, 2020

Thank you so much. And yes I’ll be there soon

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Adrian Stolecki
19:17 Sep 02, 2020

I haven't finished reading this yet, I just had to go down to the comments and let you know that I can't get over "Had she finally pickled herself?" Lol I love it... ok, back to reading. Edit: Ok, just finished. That was so weird and I loved every word of it! I liked the way the story slowly "zoomed out" from Nancy and just turned into this huge chaotic scene. Also, idk if this was intentional or not, but I like the social commentary about how people will literally argue and fight about anything and everything like a bunch of toddlers. ...

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20:53 Sep 02, 2020

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment Adrian. Yes that was on purpose and the awfulness of social medias and the ‘like system’ and I threw in some fake news references. Anyway thanks again I appreciate it!

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20:08 Aug 29, 2020

This is like a cross between an acid trip, a sad take on humanity and just something crazy and funny which captivated me from the first line. I love it!!

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23:00 Aug 29, 2020

That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me Victoria. Thank you 😊

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19:17 Aug 30, 2020

Lol you’re awesome!

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Thom Brodkin
13:37 Aug 29, 2020

Any story that includes the word kerfuffle will get a like from me. Seriously this was seriously funny and revealing at the same time. I am a naturally funny guy if I do say so myself but don't write "funny" very well so I admire those who do, and you do. I am not sure why I haven't followed you yet but I will remedy that today. Your talent deserves no less. I have written a much less funny true story called "My Best Friend Wants to Die". If you have a moment I'd like to know what you think.

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15:41 Aug 29, 2020

Thanks Thom. Yes I’ll be over there soon.

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Yolanda Wu
06:34 Aug 28, 2020

This story really gave me a good laugh, especially the opening which just immediately roped me in. Your writing is so fun to read, and the story itself was really well-written and unique. Amazing work!

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11:25 Aug 28, 2020

Wow thanks Yolanda!

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Mary Rothery
11:07 Aug 25, 2020

This is brilliant, excellent story! I love how an initially weird scene becomes a sad and on point look at social media and the worst of humanity! Well done.

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13:21 Aug 25, 2020

Thank you Mary!

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L. J. Holmes
13:22 Aug 24, 2020

I really like this story. The baby fight is such a weird, disturbing scene and the actions of the crowd were great commentary on society. I can't help feeling though that '...and that was the last of Nancy' may be a missed opportunity. Seeing how Nancy and the other 'sane' people react after being shut out of the crowd could be an interesting addition to the picture you're giving us. Does she look on in horror? Does she tell herself she tried, there's nothing more she can do, and then just go to work? Does the group stand around complain...

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13:54 Aug 24, 2020

Thanks L. j. Yes I know exactly what you’re saying. I’m still indecisive on what to do with miss Nancy. I kind of wanted her voice to just go silent and disappear without a big to-do. Let me chew on it and see what I come up with. Thanks for your time and feedback !

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Amogh Kasat
12:34 Aug 24, 2020

It's a wonderful story! Please read my latest story The Secret Organisation { Part 2 }

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Charles Stucker
06:03 Aug 24, 2020

Are you sure your name isn't Johnathan Swift? This is a terrific parody, satirizing the brutal nature of youtube and the whole likes system of rating which encourages people to do barbaric things in order to have their fifteen minutes of fame. I would vote for this to win the contest this week. The only suggestion Title "My Fifteen" which naturally references fame's duration.

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11:19 Aug 24, 2020

Wow well that’s just nicer than winning any contest. I was trying to reference the debate and fake news, on both sides, as well. Thanks for the suggestion, my mind goes blank when it comes to titles

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Kristin Neubauer
18:09 Aug 23, 2020

That's a wild story, Sarah - I loved everything about it. I read in the comments that you wrote it in a half hour - how is that possible? That's incredible, wish I could write that quickly. And where on earth did you come up with babies fist-fighting?

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18:39 Aug 23, 2020

Lol thanks Kristin. I honestly don’t know it just came to me so I had the idea and what I wanted to happen already mapped out in my kind before I started typing. Thank you so much your kind comments means so much to me

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Gordon Langley
16:35 Aug 22, 2020

I didn’t know I was going to read about babies in open combat today but I’m glad I did. This is what I love about fiction, just when you think that every possible subject has been covered someone surprises you. A fascinating yet slightly horrifying tale!

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16:37 Aug 22, 2020

Lol thank you Gordon !

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B Cisek
15:22 Aug 22, 2020

Mind-blowing and original. Loved the little details about Nancy who herself sounded like someone things "happen" to. And the baby fight -- what a freakish circumstance. A great commentary on this gawker society, with all the "viral videos," and "likes." Loved it!!!

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16:11 Aug 22, 2020

Thank you so glad you liked it!

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Pragya Rathore
07:18 Aug 22, 2020

This story was very interesting to read. I loved the part where she sees the babies fighting, but hesitates before going to see them. A couple of things: Fist fighting- hyphenate it masterbating- add 'u' instead of 'e' of time-of the time To grow as did-add a comma Anyway, coming to the story, your idea was wonderful and engaging. Awesome read! :D Please check out my stories too :)

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10:30 Aug 22, 2020

Thanks for all your great feedback and help !

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Pragya Rathore
10:39 Aug 22, 2020

You're most welcome :)

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:32 Aug 22, 2020

How long did this take you? Because these prompts are only hours old and you’ve got what looks to me like one of your most polished stories yet! I know you like putting stories up and editing as the week goes on, which is great, but this needs very little fine-tuning. What I especially love about this is it feels like a professional short story. Some of the best ones don’t go into long explanations; not everything happens for a reason. Why were the babies fighting? You don’t go into that and don’t need to because it almost becomes irrelev...

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10:15 Aug 22, 2020

Lol thanks Jonathan. Lol I did write on in about a half hour but I had already had an idea about it before I started. I said I must write about babies fist fighting. Indubitably is my new favorite word

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Keerththan 😀
00:58 Sep 05, 2020

Wonderful story. I was sad for the baby whose eyes were swollen. Great job like always. Would you mind reading my new one and give some feedback?

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Becky Holland
23:55 Sep 02, 2020

Hey Sarah. Good job. What a way to go with this prompt. Most certainly different. Here is some suggestions I have ... Reread it - missing punctuation all through the story. (Some commas, apostrophes) What could you do with this to make it easier to read - smoother? " Then someone handed the babies two sticks they’d found on the ground. The babies started clubbing each other as the people cheered. One of the baby’s eyes started swelling shut as the other baby continued to hit him in the head with the stick." Maybe -- "Some...

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02:04 Sep 03, 2020

Hey R.I. Thank you so much for your feedback . I really appreciate it. And yes I’ll be over there soon to read

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Hriday Saboo
06:19 Aug 31, 2020

Brilliant. Marvellous. Loved your stories. Would you mind checking my stories as well

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11:39 Aug 31, 2020

Thank you and yes I’ll be there soon

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