Attached to a string

Submitted into Contest #62 in response to: Write about a character putting something into a time capsule.... view prompt

30 comments

Fiction Romance Teens & Young Adult

I loved the ghungroos on the string, it reminded me of all the good times I had in my life. ARYAMAN had made it when we were in Kashmir. When we visited here, he would become a full time Romeo. Making bouquets, biryani, thupkas and sometimes even ponchoe for me. In the day he used to be busy writing songs and in night he would sing them for me. He wasn't ARIJIT SINGH but the rawness in his voice was like honey to my ears. Now this cottage is empty, but is filled by chilled winds. It was not easy for me to make the decision, it was never easy for me. I sold everything, returned everything back to the respective person, but couldn't part away from this anklet, cause it represented me.


Like how this thin sensitive string had connected to these heavy ghungroos. Even I was burdened by big decisions and responsibilities on my small source of happiness.

And this anklet wouldn't come to notice if they were unless on someone's feet. They wouldn't produce this delicate music if they wouldn't be at someone's feet.


Even my life had become like that. I would only be noticed or shine due to someone's guidance or had to dance at someone's fingertips.

But when I was with him I never felt that I needed someone to express myself. But as usual my happiness is like perfume it only lasted for few moments.


I have to part away from this anklet, and if I wouldn't I would get more and more tangled and in the end I would just disappear without anyone noticing me.


At first place I shouldn't have fallen for his golden brown eyes. He had a big family, that means he had big responsibilities, big decisions and a bigger heritage.

Hence I had to accept that he couldn't have choose me over them in any way, but still i fell in love with him because he made me live each and every moment.

I still remember that how he crafted this beautiful anklet with his own hands, he selected each and every ghungroo strung them together.

he was so anxious to tie it around my ankle that he choose to tie it when I would be sleeping.

how he had entered the room like a thief and slowly removed the blanket from my legs, gently lifted my feet and tied it with such a tenderness as if the anklet would have torn my feet.

then he looked upon it and smiled and in that all i was pretending to be asleep.

sometimes I think that I should have woken up at that time and kissed his tender lips.


my heart used to always warn me from people, and I used to give in too. but this time my heart itself was perplexed from his smile.


Because no mortal had the will power to ignore his smile.

I still remember when he smiled for me. I just froze and like my whole organ system collapsed to his child like smile.

But now everything had gone.


All I had left with me was tears, silence and some beautiful letters.


He knew that I loved letters, so he would send me every month. Even if we were staying together under a roof.


He would be so happy when he finished his letters, he would rush out from the door, jog away to the post office. Put the letter in a envelope, buy a expensive stamp and address it right to our home where we were staying.


The post office would laugh on his antics, and once again I was crying remembering those heartfelt moments. His every letter is engraved on my heart, but now its burdening and fogging my breath.

I don't remember when I would start crying and when I would stop.

His memories were stinging now.

I have to part away from everything that belonged to him.

that included the LETTERS and the ANKLET as well.


I couldn't destroy it?

so what to do if you couldn't destroy something?


you just hide it.

so that what I'm going to do.

bury it up in this cottage itself.


making a time capsule from a horrible break up sounds so disgusting, but it wasn't a breakup for me it was a liberation.

in all this chaos I found my true self. I realised that how badly i was cheating myself from all this years.

if the soul had a right to leave the body on its own will, it would have left me a long time back.

because in all this years I exploited myself so badly that I didn't had my own identity left with me.

I had left myself on such a road that it was impossible to love someone else without loving myself.


so I decided to end it once for all...

to forget about others and to forgive myself from right now

now I had to do it for my own sake

it was time that I had to fall in love with myself again and again...

no matter what anyone tells me to do

its about to end for once and all

so I decided to


I re read them

I CRIED AGAIN

I wore the anklet and danced

I CRIED AGAIN

I chose the box and kept them inside it

I CRIED AGAIN.

I started to dig

I WAS CRYING.

I BURIED IT

I COULDNT CRY ANYMORE.


I didn't sell the cottage, it still in both of our names.

he wouldn't have been bothered even if I would have sold it.

but I kept it.

cause the next time if I would come here, I had wanted to be in love with me.

I should have accepted, expressed and loved myself so much that this buried time capsule wouldn't bother me AGAIN!!!!!


NOTE; SELF LOVE AND SELF DISCOVERY IS IMPORTANT.

YOU WONT LOVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU WONT LOVE YOUR SELF FOR THE WAY YOU ARE.

LOVE YOURSELF








October 08, 2020 11:22

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30 comments

Writer Maniac
15:38 Mar 11, 2021

I found a few grammar mistakes and a few letters that should have been capitalised and a few words which didn't need to be capitalised, but that is all minor. I loved the emotions behind the words and the clear love between the two characters. It's really great to see how you have improved and evolved with your stories, great job!

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Frances Reine
18:08 Mar 04, 2021

This is a whole lot different although I'd say I don't love it any less. I love the soul, the honesty although grittier than the norm. Some minor grammar errors/typos but they're not important anyway. Satisfying comparison from where you began to where you've come :)

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Radhika Diksha
18:11 Mar 04, 2021

Thanks, sorry what norm are you talking about. Ya, my grammar was way worse then.

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Frances Reine
13:09 Mar 05, 2021

I was picturing the typical sweet, flowy little soul in words. This definitely is opposite.

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Radhika Diksha
13:59 Mar 05, 2021

Okay, any new stories you are going to post soon. By the way which youtube channel you watch the most.

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Frances Reine
14:49 Mar 05, 2021

I've read so many wonderful submissions this week that I don't have the courage to write anything yet :) Also, youtube is an indulgence I haven't indulged in in like, years haha.

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i am sorry it was too much pressure Radhika. Take a little break then come back maybe? I know I will miss you, but just know that Kaira will still be alive and active

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Cookie Carla🍪
17:19 Mar 10, 2021

This story had so much emotion in it that I felt like I connected with the story mentally and physically. Actually, I was thinking about writing a romance story involving a girl who fell in love with the wrong person yesterday but I ended up scratching it. This story was written so beautifully I don't know what to say about it. It started out with it seems like Indian heritage which really brought the naturalness to the story. It was written so great OMG!!! I will say though that in the middle of the story you started to lowercase some le...

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Radhika Diksha
17:28 Mar 10, 2021

Yeah at the beginning I was very poor in the grammar part. I have improved a lot, from here. Thanks for your thoughts, it again gave me insight into the story again.

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Cookie Carla🍪
17:53 Mar 10, 2021

YAY!!!! No problem!!

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. .
17:03 Mar 10, 2021

WoAh. This was intense. First of all, I would just eliminate the word "even" from your vocabulary. I don't think that you use it right in these instances or really in any of them in the story. That's something that's an easy fix. I don't get the capitalizations... it does help emphasize it but italics are kinda easier on the BrAiN. Lastly, don't forget to establish the character of the firstperson narrator as well.

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Radhika Diksha
17:26 Mar 10, 2021

I could not change the story now and I won't. Because it shows my journey. But still thanks for the valuable feedback. I think I have improved a lot from here. Do you agree? By the way, how did you like the plot?

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. .
17:36 Mar 10, 2021

I totally agree!! I loved the plot, it had tons of potential.

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this was very interesting to read! I like how you expressed another culture (your own). Even though I may not believe some of the stuff you do, that doesn't mean that this was bad. It was well expressed, and you really showed your feelings.

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Radhika Diksha
17:20 Feb 23, 2021

I am sorry but no culture was mentioned above. It's just you know a story about love and heartbreak. I am sorry which stuff you are talking about?

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Oh, just the the last part...NOTE; SELF LOVE AND SELF DISCOVERY IS IMPORTANT. YOU WONT LOVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU WONT LOVE YOUR SELF FOR THE WAY YOU ARE. LOVE YOURSELF. I don't fully agree with you there. Also, the culture stuff, that was just my assumption. I'm sorry

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Radhika Diksha
17:55 Feb 23, 2021

Ok, like on which part you don't agree. I just found a new perspective for my story so just asking. It's ok, ghungroo is jewelry that Aryaman made for her, it's just a gift no culture reference here.

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Kate Reynolds
15:04 Feb 23, 2021

OMG, Radhika, the amount you improved is mind blowing!!! This story is very good, but you improved so muchhhhhhhh You should be very very proud!!!

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Echo Sundar
17:48 Nov 24, 2020

I really like this story. it was quite fun to read sort of makes me want an ankle bracelet. There were some I's that needed to be capitalized but that is all. I thought it was paticluallarily funny how he would mail her letters even if he was living with her. That made me laugh :) And I especially loved this line. "The rawness in his voice was like honey to my ears."

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Radhika Diksha
18:26 Nov 24, 2020

Thankyou so much for your feedback. A new story is coming soon I will update to you soon.

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Echo Sundar
18:28 Nov 24, 2020

Cool! I cant wait to read it!

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B. W.
03:47 Oct 27, 2020

You did such a great job with this story and I think this story is just as great as your future stories along with your most recent one ^^ I'm still not that good with giving advice and some other stuff, though I guess i'd agree a little bit with what some of the others have told you. I'm gonna go and give this a 10/10 :) I'll be waiting for your next story whenever that is, I know that it'll be great ^^

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19:34 Oct 19, 2020

Hi You were successful in crafting a definitive voice for your narrator. I would suggest you revisit your text with an eye to editing for tense, repetition of words. Keep writing.

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11:47 Oct 19, 2020

Hi I admire your attempt to use the anklet as a concrete theme in this story. You have given your narrator a definitive voice. I would encourage you to revisit your text with an eye for verb tense, sentence structure. Keep writing.

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Radhika Diksha
12:11 Oct 19, 2020

Yeah actually it was my first story and wrote it on the spot so couldn't actually figure it out. Pls check my other stories though and give your feedback.

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Yolanda Wu
09:32 Oct 16, 2020

The voice of your narrator was so well-crafted and I could really feel her character shining through. You captured all the heartbreak of the horrible break-up and I felt for her so hard. It was a wonderful story to read. One tip I have for you to make it even better: For the parts where she repeats, "I cried again" - I think the repetition is very effective, I just think you could have shown a little more, describe how the tears slid down her cheeks, the pain in her heart. But all in all, it's a really good story, I really enjoyed it,...

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Radhika Diksha
09:35 Oct 16, 2020

thankyou my friend for a wonderful feedback. Thanks for your suggestion. SELF LOVE IS THE BEST LOVE

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Yolanda Wu
09:37 Oct 16, 2020

You're very welcome! And I whole-heartedly agree, your message was beautiful.

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Jeffrey Pope
22:07 Oct 14, 2020

Great story! I thought i notice a lot of mistakes and the use of small letters to start a sentence. Check this out, "...buy a expensive stamp and address it right to our home where we were staying."

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Radhika Diksha
04:02 Oct 15, 2020

thank you for a wonderful feedback I felt nice that you loved the story. And I will ensure that next time I will check my grammar mistakes

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