Submitted to: Contest #51

The secret of power

Written in response to: "Write about someone who has a superpower."

Fantasy Suspense

Nobody noticed Jake's absence during the English class in the only college in the city. Jake loved technology. So, he took the computer science stream. 

Mrs. Norwich, the English lecturer for the class, had switched on the television in the class when a college staff member came and whispered something. She was a tall, young woman with black hair and large spectacles.

The news flashed,"The Big Jumper is having another encounter with the Trapshot".

"Wow!", shouted the excited students. The Big Jumper was a hero in that small city and could make large leaps.   

Many times the encounter had happened between The Big Jumper and Trapshot. Nobody knew the reason why they were fighting and who they were. 

The bell rang for the college and all the students ran to witness the fight between the hero and the villain.

Trapshot, though not his real name, looked terrifying with self-made advanced technology weapons. Nobody knew his real name. People thronged in the devastated street to watch this encounter. The Big Jumper in a green-blue attire which he dons all the time while he fights, to hide his identity. Trapshot looks like a cowboy on his brown outfit and black boots.

"Give me that suit," shouted Trapshot.

"Not possible, Trapshot," replied The Big Jumper.

" Whatโ€ฆ," before Trapshot could finish his sentence, The Big Jumper packed a punch on Trapshot's face which sent him flying. Trapshot escaped on his Superbike which could also fly and the crowd applauded The Big Jumper for the gallantry act. He signed some notebooks and took photos with his admirers. At that time, many police cars came to the street. A bank robbery had happened in the nearby bank. Then The Big Jumper ran into an empty street and touched his chest. Suddenly, the suit started disappearing and there stood Jake. He was a strong man with large fists and the suit made him more powerful. He had silky brown hair with blue eyes. He walked into the empty college to take his backpack, but it was not in its place. He went home, keeping his head down. It was his favourite backpack and he had kept it for five years. He was the only child to his parents and they showered all their love on him. They were very friendly towards Jake and never used to chide him. The teachers liked him even though he barely attended the college nor did he secure good marks but for his socialising attitude. 

Meanwhile, people witnessed Trapshot going into the police station and having a conversation with the police. People living near the police station were afraid that Trapshot had got the police in his hands.

โ€ฆ.

The following day, Jake decided to attend college. On that day, a new student came to class.

 Mrs. Norwich introduced her as Jane to the entire class. She had curly black hair and she shone brightly like the moon. No one could take eyes off her, but she saw Jake admiringly. She went and sat on the bench where the academically bright students sat. 

At lunch time, many gathered in front of Jane to get a chance to go out with her. But she didn't seem interested. She found Jake standing in the shade of the tree outside the class and started walking towards him. 

"Hi, would you be interested to accompany me to the cafe?", She asked Jake.

"Sure," Jake said while the other students looked at him in surprise. 

As they were chatting while sipping coffee in a cafe nearby, a woman cried,"somebody catch the thief. He is taking my purse".

Jake thought to himself "this looks like a job for The Big Jumper". He took this as a chance to impress Jane. He put down the coffee glass on the table and went into an empty street where no one could see him. He changed into his suit and started chasing the thief. As he could take huge leaps, he caught the thief in no time. He changed into Jake and handed over the purse to the woman. Then he saw some guys trying to kidnap a small girl. Jake remembered Jane waiting for him in the coffee shop. He called the police station near him to come and save the girl and ran to the cafe. But when he returned to the coffee shop, she was not there. He had missed a nice chance to be with her. As he walked in disappointment he saw Jane talking to the same woman whose purse was stolen. He rushed to talk to her.

โ€œSorry for leaving you in the middle of a conversation. Do you know that woman, Jane?โ€

โ€œIt's okay. Jake, what you did was awesome. No, I was just asking the route to the shopping mall nearby to her,โ€ she said, trembling in surprise.

โ€œThank you for saving my purse, young man,โ€ the woman said.

โ€œItโ€™s my pleasure,โ€ said Jake.

โ€œOkay, Jake. I have to leave now,โ€ Jane said and walked away. Jakeโ€™s mood got better.

On his way to his house, his phone rang. It was his friend, Collins. 

"Hey, Jake," Collins started.

"What's the matter, Collins?", asked Jake.

"That new girl Jane is going out with your archenemy, Jake Hutchins". 

"What?"

"Yes, I saw them go out".

Jake sighed.

"Don't worry, Jake. You come to college and talk to her again".

"Okay, Collins. Bye," said Jake and hanged the call. His frustration knew no bounds.. He put on his suit and started jumping building after building. Hutchins and Jake were college mates, and they didnโ€™t get along with each other. He was another handsome man.

โ€ฆ.

On the following day, Jake went to the college and to his surprise saw that Jane was waiting for him. This time he knew he wouldn't miss the chance to go out with her. He decided to reveal his identity to get her attention better. 

"Let's go to the coffee shop again," invited Jake.

"Okay, but before you run away, say the reason to me,โ€ said Jane.

"Okay," said Jake with a smile. They were happily chatting, but this happiness didn't last long. Everyone in the streets started running. They were afraid of something. Jake and Jane went to see what was happening. It was the Trapshot again. 

 She called the police immediately. But, Jake started running away.  

"What are you doing, Jake?", shouted Jane. 

โ€œI am afraid of Trapshot. I am going home,โ€ he replied. But soon The Big Jumper swung into action. This time the police had come on time.  

โ€œ You cannot escape today, Trapshot. The police have come to arrest you on time,โ€ The Big Jumper said, triumphantly.

But Trapshot just gave a wild grin and the police started attacking The Big Jumper. Jake was very confused. 

He fled the scene and found a place on a tall skyscraper to think what was happening around him. Suddenly, he saw a poster saying โ€œPlease defeat Trapshot. He has got the police in his handsโ€.

Jake thought,โ€that could also be the reason for the police attacking me. Today I will end his storyโ€. Suddenly he remembered some familiar faces. The woman to whom he had given the purse and the thief were among the police force. He was very confused. 

 He thought he had to talk to Jane to clear some of his doubts as he trusted Jane a lot. 

Jake called Jane to meet him in his house.

Jane arrived in an hour and sat down to talk with him. 

"Okay, Jake. What is it?", Jane asked eagerly.

"Who are you? Can you say something about yourself,โ€ Jake asked.

โ€œWhat is it, Jake? You appear tensed upโ€.

โ€œI trust you, but, I want to know more about youโ€.

โ€œHmm, okay. But do you know that people are talking about Trapshot coming to the police station and having a strong conversation with the police?โ€Jane asked, to divert him from knowing about her.

โ€œReally! This explains a lotโ€, Jake exclaimed.

โ€œWhat does it explain?โ€ she asked.

โ€œNothing. Just an expressionโ€.

 โ€œOkay, why did you call me, Jake?โ€  

" I have to say one important thing to you, Jane".

"I am The Big Jumperโ€.

โ€œWhat? Are you joking! Jake".

He touched his chest and his suit appeared. 

โ€œNow do you believe? I have to touch this button on my chest to become The Big Jumper,โ€ Jake said, delightedly waiting for her response.

โ€œWow!โ€

Jake made his suit disappear and said,โ€ I have to tell you another important thingโ€.

โ€œYou are full of surprises, Jakeโ€.

โ€œAndy and I were childhood friends," Jake started.

"Who is Andy?"

"Wait. We loved technology, but I didn't take any effort to innovate things. But he did. He was an ardent boy. At the summer holiday of 11th grade, he started to make a suit. I was eager to find what suit it was. He revealed it to me and it was a jumper suit, which I use right now. I liked it very much and I wanted to own it. But Andy refused to give it to me. So, I stole the Jumper suit. From then on, I am using his suit to save people and he started to do terrorizing things to get back his suit. He doesn't want to be a villain, but I had made him one. He isnโ€™t the kind of person who blackmails people as I know him. I never shared this with anyone," Jake said with a sigh. 

โ€œItโ€™s okay, Jake. Donโ€™t worry,โ€ Jane said and embraced him. But Jake felt something on his hands. It was a handcuff.

Jane touched her ear and then only did Jake notice that she had an earpiece in her left ear. 

"Confirmed, Sir. You may come.", she said. She stood up and showed her identity card to him. She was a police officer.

" What did you do right now?"Jake asked, panicking.

"I am a spy. Trapshot aka Andy had come to the police station. We were afraid and took weapons for our defence. But he had come unarmed. He lodged a complaint against The Big Jumper. We were surprised when we heard that The Big Jumper had stolen the jumper suit from him. We didn't believe him so we started to investigate it. He also said that every fight was planned by The Big Jumper and that it was an attempt to distract the police and the people to do other crimes like robbery and kidnapping. It was a valid point that he had given and he was not wrong. You were the one who planned the robbery and also the kidnapping of the small girl to distract the police. He said that he had saved the girl from the rogue gang. You are not the hero, Jake. Andy is. He also said that The Big Jumper's name was Jake. He didn't remember the last name so we were a little confused. So I was sent to know about you and Jake Hutchins. The thief and the womanโ€™s purse getting robbed was all our set-up to find out your real identity. Now we have found out the secret of your power and you were right about his character," Jane explained.

โ€œYou gave me a big surprise, Jane,โ€ Jake said, ironically.

 Many police cars were standing in straight rows to take Jake to prison. Andy was also there. 

"Come back as my friend, Jake," Andy said.

Jake was taken into the police van with dozens of policemen to make sure that Jake cannot escape.

โ€ฆ.

The head police officer decided to say that they had arrested Trapshot so that Andy would continue to win the trust of people as The Big Jumper.

A wild grin came on Jake's face as he knew what was going to happen next.


He knew that from then on he would be a disturbance to the world.



Posted Jul 23, 2020
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218 likes 277 comments

Deborah Mercer
08:18 Jul 29, 2020

As promised, read your story. I enjoyed it, it had a good twist, and I think the pacing was fine. I think this would film beautifully! If I may make one tiny point (I noticed it as I'm prone to it!) just occasionally you mix up your tenses. But it certainly didn't stop me enjoying the story!

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08:20 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you, Debbie. In my next story, I will take care of the tenses. Thank you for commenting and I am glad you liked my story. Would you mind liking the story?
Stay healthy and keep writing.

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Neela Sanders
16:49 Jul 29, 2020

I really loved the voice of this peice! The pacing along with the characters made this a really enjoyable read.

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16:51 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you. I am glad you liked my story.

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Neela Sanders
16:53 Jul 29, 2020

Anytime! Would you mind checking out my newest story Mi pรกjaro cantor?

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06:27 Jul 30, 2020

Definitely. I'd love to.

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Note Book
16:14 Jul 29, 2020

Loved the story and the twists .Great job and a good read!

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16:16 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you. I am glad you liked my story.

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Ana Chirila
16:00 Jul 29, 2020

It's a bit all over the place but the idea is not bad at all. I think it would be even better if you take the time to edit it a bit more thoroughly. ๐Ÿ‘

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16:16 Jul 29, 2020

I would edit it thoroughly next time. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for reading. Keep writing and stay healthy, Ana.

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Charles Stucker
15:13 Jul 29, 2020

I liked Jake, the Big Jumper, being a bad guy in the end.
This line bothers me, "That new girl Jane is going out with your archenemy, Jake Hutchins". But Collins is speaking with Jake. It seems as though it should be "your archenemy, Andy."

This has all the right memes for a superhero origin story.

Your timing and pacing are good, as is your dialogue and general grammar. However, when you have the discussion, first Jake's confession of stealing the Big Jumper suit, then the long reveal by Jane, it slows down. Either break up those sections or trim them down.

Other than that, the tale was first class.

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15:36 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you for commenting. Jake Hutchins is actually his archenemy and not Andy. In my next story, I would try to correct my mistakes. Thank you for reading.

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Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
14:01 Jul 29, 2020

So I read your story, I thought it was pretty cool, and I did NOT see that twist coming. Nice job.

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14:03 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you for reading. Would you mind liking my story? Thank you. Keep writing and stay healthy.

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14:11 Jul 29, 2020

Thanks.

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POOJA SARMALKAR
15:20 Jul 28, 2020

Very Interesting concepts, nice imaginary ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘

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15:36 Jul 28, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Javeria Ashfaq
15:10 Jul 28, 2020

Great job...keep it up, more power to u...:)

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15:36 Jul 28, 2020

Thank you.

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Jade Young
14:24 Jul 28, 2020

Loved your descriptions. There seemed to be an overuse of simple sentences in the beginning, but other than that it was very enjoyable ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฝ

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14:46 Jul 28, 2020

Thank you for your suggestions. I will try to improve my vocabulary. Thank you for reading. Stay safe and healthy, Jade.

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Jade Young
15:13 Jul 28, 2020

You're welcome :) Stay safe!

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10:28 Jul 28, 2020

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

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12:13 Jul 28, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Harken Void
10:00 Jul 28, 2020

Interesting concept. I liked how you didn't over-dramatize the scenes and kept it to the point. There were some grammatical errors (a few present tenses here and there), but that's minor. The only thing that bothered me a bit, was that the story was rushed. There was a lot going on and a bit too fast.
Otherwise, great imagination, keep writing!

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10:19 Jul 28, 2020

Thank you for reading. Thank you for your comments. Next time I will try and make it a bit slower and also correct my grammatical mistakes. Thank you for reading.๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

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Khethzi Kerena
18:05 Jul 27, 2020

Great story... though at first it seemed to be yet another spider man stuff, it picked up the momentum later. The story sustained the interest and thrill throughout and I loved the twist at the end.

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02:30 Jul 28, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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16:56 Jul 27, 2020

This story line was great! The characters were realistic, and the big twist about Andy being the real hero was awesome! I will say that this story was a sort of rushed, and that there were some grammatical errors. Other than that, perfect! Keep writing and stay healthy! -Brooke

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17:02 Jul 27, 2020

Thank you for reading. I will see to it that I don't make grammatical mistakes next time. Thank you and stay healthy, Brooke.

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17:12 Jul 27, 2020

You're welcome!

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11:58 Jul 27, 2020

Interesting twist at the end!

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12:03 Jul 27, 2020

Thank you for reading my story.

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Jyoti Gupta
06:56 Jul 27, 2020

Nice story, very well presented

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07:03 Jul 27, 2020

Thank you for reading my story.๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

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Vidhya Venugopal
01:59 Jul 27, 2020

Nicely written with a bit of twists and a huge turn at tbe end... use of good language and vocabulory. Easy and interesting reading.

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02:13 Jul 27, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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Corey Melin
18:40 Jul 26, 2020

Very entertaining story. Twists is always a plus for me. Well done

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02:13 Jul 27, 2020

Thank you for reading. I am glad you liked my story.

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14:35 Jul 26, 2020

Great imagination power, good written communication. Keep going.... Wonderful start my little boy. Expecting many more stories from you!

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14:58 Jul 26, 2020

Thank you for reading my story.

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Deborah Angevin
12:16 Jul 25, 2020

A very well-written piece, Keerththan! I liked the ending (and the fact the font changes for the last sentence!)

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12:33 Jul 25, 2020

Thank you for reading, Deborah. I am glad you liked my story.๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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Malathi P
10:52 Jul 25, 2020

Nice story. The way he presented the story very neat and good. It was a detective story with amazing twist. Keep it up.

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10:57 Jul 25, 2020

Thank you for reading.๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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