2 comments

Thriller Adventure Funny

Two friends (Nancy and Nell) who just happen to work together are sharing a moment at the water cooler.

“You’re kidding! It has been fifteen years since you took a holiday. No way!”

“Yes, it has been a while” Nancy’s coworker said wistfully.

“You are definitely coming with Liz and me this weekend then – it will do you good.”

Nell hemmed and hawed – this chore needed doing, that chore had to be take care of…

Her friend seemed to know what Nell was thinking and blurted out

“There will always be chores – you need to take care of you. It will do you good.”

“I don’t even have a suitcase” Nell said.

“I can take care of that; I’ll be back in a jiffy.” Nell shook her head; her friend would not take no for an answer. Okay she admitted to herself – a weekend away would not be too self-indulgent and might even help the chores get done faster when she returned. She was feeling a bit drained if she was completely honest with herself.

Nancy returned ten minutes later with a suitcase for her friend. 

“I keep it in the car in case a handsome stranger whisks me off my feet, but you can borrow it”.

Nell had to laugh – her friend was such a romantic. She hoped she would find a handsome stranger if that would make her happy. Nell took the suitcase home at the end of the day and after much trepidation decided on two comfortable t-shirts, one sweat suit outfit that could double as sleepwear if the room was cold, and a pair of canvas shoes in case the gym shoes she planned to wear for the trip got wet. Next she placed in the suitcase personal hygiene items, towels, and a book she had always wanted to read but never got around to – yet, a deck of cards for playing solitaire games, writing paper and pen (she was never without these). Nell was a big-time journal writer using her books for everything from recipes, quotes she liked, goals, dreams, prayers, anything she thought of. She kept all of them. To throw them away would be like throwing away a part of herself she felt, so could never do such a thing. Suitcase packed and ready to go on Wednesday – the last two days at work would drag and drag but eventually end.

Five o’clock on the dot Nell and Nancy went outside the office to join Liz who was already in the car and had everything loaded in the trunk. 

“Ladies, your chariot awaits but let’s hurry, at midnight it will turn into a pumpkin” said Liz and giggled.

The car (if it could be called a car) was an old Chevy (almost as old as Liz) but it got her where she needed to be when she needed to be there. Transport was essential since she was a real estate agent with a wide area to canvas.

The girls were headed for a weekend in a cottage on a lakefront.

“We can go for a midnight swim” Nancy said enthusiastically.

“Pass thanks” said Nell, “but you go right ahead. I’ll leave the latch off the door so you can get back in.”

Nell found it strange that there were no chores that had to be taken care of – she was always so used to doing something. 

The first thing the girls checked was the supply of food in the cottage.  A pantry area was very well stocked. Miraculously it included each girl’s favorite treat. A shower settled her – she noticed how soft her skin felt and thought that there must be something in the water. Then she found the perfect place to read – a nook in front of a window which had a comfortable cushion on the top – she was going to enjoy this weekend. A cup of hot milk to further ease the eerie quietness and her eyelids became heavier and heavier. Each bedroom (there were three of them) was equipped with a double bed, thick comforter, two pillows, a circular mirror on a wall, a two-door closet, and a small cupboard where guests could put their belongings. It was quite cozy. 

‘Leave only memories’ was a cross stitch design above the bed. Nell felt a little like a princess in this room – at home she had a futon, single door closet, and bookshelves. Despite being in unfamiliar surroundings Nell fell into a deep sleep – for a while.

Then from out of nowhere an eerie sound that jolted her awake. Scratching at the window. She peered out into the hallway and saw that her friends had not returned from the lake yet – the lights in their rooms were still on. She returned to her room, bit her lip, and looked out the window. Nothing. Nell told herself she was imagining things, crept back into her bed and closed her eyes. Again, she heard

Screech.

She was getting a little frightened now. Fortunately, her friends returned, and she told them about the noise.

Ever brave Nancy said, “it’s just because you are in a strange place, relax girlfriend.” Nell was not convinced but nodded.

The next morning after breakfast (Nell was extremely glad there was a next morning) she took a walk around the cottage. Silly girl she said to herself – it was a branch that was right against the windowpane and was screeching with the wind. Except, Nell did not remember any breeze at all. She shrugged her shoulders, returned to the cozy little nook she found yesterday, and lost herself in her reading. 

The girls spent a very relaxing day doing exactly what they felt like doing. The need for sleep came to the three eventually so they said goodnight, and each closed their door with a

“sleep well, see you in the morning”.

After Nell had closed her eyes, she heard

Screech.

Oh no, she thought to herself, not again.

Her heart raced; pulse quickened as she saw a figure – that was no branch.

The last thing Nell ever saw was a hungry mountain lion.

Nancy and Liz heard Nell’s screams, but it was too late – they barely made it to safety themselves. Should they call animal control? The police? Just make a run for it.

The mountain lion already crazed from its meal made a beeline for them.

“Drive” demanded Nancy.

“Poor Nell.” The two friends stayed at home for all future weekends and never once spoke of Nell or the mountain lion or the fact that they came close to being ravaged as well.

Nancy woke one night convinced she heard a scream.

A tormented Nell was not going to let her friends rest.

August 06, 2020 22:52

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Ann Rapp
13:49 Aug 15, 2020

Well done! Reading along with your story, I was getting interested in these women and wondered where you were taking them in this story. Nothing prepared me for the shock and horrified surprise of the ending! Keep writing thrillers.

Reply

Debbie Teague
11:47 Aug 20, 2020

Thank you for reading and for your comments. It helps us as writers to know what people think and how we can improve or continue with what we are doing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.