The Curious Case of the Rescued Toys

They slid open the storage unit to reveal it stuffed completely with what appeared to be all children's toys. From what Frank saw, no open space existed anywhere.

"It'll be like that all the way to the back," Tom said. He owned the storage units. "I can't rent this one because it's always filled. I empty it and it fills up again. Mostly toys, stuffed animals and games. Always kid's stuff."

Everything Frank saw looked like kid stuff. "And you have cameras in here."

Tom pointed to where they were all mounted. "Twenty-four hour surveillance and a number key entry system. We know who comes and goes and when. This door never opens unless we open it, yet it's filled within a day of emptying it.

"Could they access it from one of the adjacent units?"

"No. Again the cameras, not to mention the cement block walls. There isn't any way for this to fill, and yet it does."

Frank scratched his head. His specialty involved the supernatural, but that focused on ghosts and hauntings. He purchased equipment and started investigating after watching some of those ghost hunting TV shows. He became somewhat well regarded in the area after a few years and did it full-time now. Still, if true, this had the hallmarks of something completely different than a run of the mill haunting. "You ever try emptying it and then waiting inside?"

"You're kidding, right? Do I look like a ghostbuster to you? No offense, but I sure as hell wouldn't be paying you if I had the desire to do it myself."

He certainly didn't look like any ghostbuster and Frank thought his heart might give out at the slightest noise if he tried. Tom appeared to be in his seventies, was grossly overweight, and sweated under the exertion of lifting a pencil. His shirt and pants actually strained to keep his skin contained. "Point taken. If you would be so kind as to empty it, I will set up shop."

"I will have my guys take care of it. I actually have to rent part of a warehouse to hold all this stuff. I need to figure out how to sell it. Maybe recoup some of my losses from renting that and not renting this. Who knows, I might make more. Some of the stuff could be collectibles."

Frank figured that last part to be untrue. He didn't believe that Tom would pass on such a windfall. "I'll be here around five to set up. Won't take long. Then we'll see."

"It'll be empty. We won't close it. It doesn't fill when opened. That we tried."

*

Frank arrived with his equipment just after four-thirty. He found Tom in his office and they walked out to the unit. Empty, Frank figured it to be around ten feet wide and fifteen feet deep. They were solidly built.

It took longer to run his power cords than to set up the equipment. He used two thermal cameras: one in the very front facing the back and one in the far back facing the front. He placed a chair in the middle with a table holding a laptop, tape recorder and EMF analyzer. Lastly he brought a standard digital camera on a tripod to swivel toward any supernatural occurrences. After double checking his connections, he started the laptop and cameras. Soon he saw the majority of the storage unit displayed in three quadrants with his heat signature clearly showing through both thermals. The other camera showed one of the solid block walls it faced, and the EMF Analyzer showed only normal background radiation in the fourth quadrant.

Feeling confident, he again sought Tom. "I'm all set."

"That was quick," Tom said as he carefully walked inside looking at the equipment.

"Not much to this really. It's such a small space," Frank said, watching that Tom didn't carelessly snag any cables. He breathed a sigh of relief as Tom exited the unit.

"We're leaving. You have my number if something happens, right? You only need to slide the unit door up to get out, and you have the temporary key code to escape the building, right?"

Frank tapped his shirt pocket. "Right."

*

It didn't take long. Maybe five-minutes after Tom left, an overwhelming mass of appendages materialized, exploding from the back wall, each holding a toy, and shot toward the front of the unit to deposit them. His equipment gave no warning. The thermal camera at the back wall skittered along the floor past him, but Frank barely noticed. One of the appendages carrying a stuffed raccoon plowed into his face knocking him to the floor.

Everything stopped as fast as it started. The appendages halted, then simply dematerialized. All the toys dropped to the floor. Frank hoped he captured something because he saw very little due to the sudden onslaught of toys. The only thing that jumped out about the whole thing was the thinness of the appendages. They looked tentacle-like and no more than one or two inches thick.

Then Frank noticed the eye protruding from the back wall. Overly large, oddly teal in color, it studied him in an almost cartoonish manner.

Fear had him rooted to the spot, but curiosity overtook the fear when a cartoonish teal mouth materialized next to the eye. 

The mouth spoke. "You 'da fuzz?"

All Frank could muster himself to utter was, "Huh?"

"You the fuzz? You know, the pigs. You're not going to take me alive, copper!" 

That eye actually moved slightly toward him and squinted as if it meant business. "N-n-n-o, I'm a -"

"He's with the FEDS!" the mouth wailed. "The government! They'll want to put me in a laboratory, take samples, make me do their bidding."

"- investigator," Frank completed.

"What?" the mouth said. The eye somehow looked perplexed. Then an ear popped out of the wall. "Can you repeat that?"

Frank just stood staring, his arms hung limply at his side. He didn't know whether to run in fear or laugh himself silly. The thought occurred that he might've dozed or gone insane. He reached down, righted his chair, then flopped into it facing the cartoonish sight. The chair itself felt real enough, unfortunately. "I said I'm an investigator."

"An investigator? What's that?" the mouth said. The eye squinted at him in what looked like suspicion. The ear sort of twitched.

"I investigate. Look into things. The owner wanted to know where all the toys came from. I look into weird things. He hired me."

The eye looked offended. The mouth said, "I'm not weird. You are. And I put the toys there."

"I see that. The question is why do you put the toys here?"

"Because it's empty," the mouth said. "Why else would I do it?"

Frank squeezed his hands into fists and almost whacked himself in the head. Taking a deep breath and relaxing his hands, he said, "I understand that, but where do the toys you put here come from?"

The eye managed to look thoughtful. The mouth said, "From the rooms of children."

"You steal them?"

The ear's color actually darkened, the eye looked shocked. "I am NOT a thief! These toys are unwanted. I am compelled to rescue them."

"But there are so many!"

"Well, duh, there are a lot of children," the mouth said.

"Where are all these children?"

"For someone who looks into things you don't know very much. They are everywhere. The world is crawling with them." The eye managed to look superior, "Most have toys they don't want. All do at some point."

Having children of his own, Frank understood that. Still, this thing was getting on his nerves. A disembodied eye, mouth, and ear should be more respectful. If it produced a nose, he felt ready to give it something to consider. Then what it said sunk in. "You said you rescued them."

"The ones that aren't broken I rescue and put them here or some other empty storage area," the mouth said.

"Why?"

"Because they are empty. Duh!"

Frank almost considered poking the eye. "No, why do you rescue the toys?"

"They, like me, no longer have purpose, the mouth said. The eye looked sad.

Frank leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. "What was your purpose?"

The eye still looked sad. The mouth said, "I used to frighten the children. Not bad, but enough for them to remember that scary things exist, that they need to be smart and careful. Now they have horror movies, video games and the news that are much more frightening than me. I stopped being relevant. Then, while under a bed ready to try and frighten a child, I touched a stuffed bear. I felt that the child cared not at all for it. It lacked purpose too. So, I rescued it. I started rescuing all of them."

"But," Frank said, "they just sit useless in storage units and warehouses. How is that any different from being under a bed?"

The mouth said nothing. Frank thought for a moment then asked, "Can you rescue other unwanted things? What about an unwanted lamp?"

Immediately a tentacle reached through the wall holding a lamp that was gold colored with what looked like a ceramic figure of a goddess as the body, and it shot within reach of him.

Frank recoiled from the suddenness of it, but  felt the excitement growing in him as to the possibilities. The tentacle shook as if in anticipation of Frank taking it. Lifting his arms, palms out he said, "I didn't actually want it. I just wanted to know if you could. It should go to someone who needs it."

Immediately the lamp disappeared into the wall and the mouth said, "Done."

"What's done?"

The ear started to sink into the wall and the mouth said, "I really can't listen to this anymore. Just when I believe we are getting somewhere you say something like that."

"No, no, hold on," Frank said, leaping from the chair and waving his arms. "Don't go. Please. I get it. At least I think I do. You sent the lamp to someone who wanted it." 

The ear returned, albeit grudgingly. "That's what I said," the mouth said.

"So you could do that with the toys also, right?"

Immediately tentacles erupted from the wall, each snatching a toy and retreating. It all took place so fast Frank hardly saw it. 

"Done."

"So you can do it with all the other toys too? The ones in the warehouses and other storage units?"

Somehow the eye, mouth, and even the ear looked flabbergasted. "I said it was done!"

That had to be many thousands of toys in the blink of an eye. "How many tentacles do you have?"

"I am NOT an octopus. I do NOT have tentacles!"

"Appendages then, arms, whatever; how many do you have."

That damned eye looked smug. The mouth said "As many as I need."

Had that coming, Frank thought. "That's your purpose then! Place unwanted things with people who want them! That is a grand purpose."

The eye, nose and mouth all managed to brighten. "Yes it is and I am going to go do it."

Frank yelled, "Wait! Before you go…"

*

Tom arrived at about seven that next morning. Frank had already loaded his equipment into the van. Tom said, "Well, I see you didn't run off in fear."

"Nope," Frank said, "and you can rent the unit now."

"I can? How?"

"Advertise, I suppose."

"What? No," Tom said, "doesn't it fill up?"

"Not anymore I don't believe. Tested it this morning and it didn't fill. Not sure why. Maybe my staying in there did something. Nothing happened, but when I closed it for about an hour then opened it, it stayed empty." Frank knew Tom would check the cameras, and that would be all he'd see.

As Frank climbed into his van he said, "Oh, and my bill is on your desk. If the unit fills again I will come back free of charge, but I'm fairly confident it won't."

"Well, thank you then," Tom said.

"You're welcome," Frank said, closing his door. He took a quick look in back at the massive lump hidden under the tarp. Seems that it could find anything and place it anywhere. Who'd have thought there would be so much unwanted cash in the world forgotten or lost in walls or buried on property, not to mention diamond rings and other valuables? Almost endless.