152 comments

Friendship Funny Middle School

By Caden Hill,


   “Gimme the next one!” Tyler roared. He was on his fourth drink so far, and had vowed on #3 that he would get past seven.

“Ok, I’ll give you this one, but ya gotta promise it’s the last one. Just quit the dare.” Louis was not so enthused about his friend’s caffeine high.

“What are you talking about? Last one? I’m only just getting started!”

Tyler snatched the latte from Louis’s hand and began pouring it into his mouth, promoting an “Eeeew!” from the third person at the table.

“Who the heck names their fall-themed coffee drink ‘Pumpkin Spider’?” Grace said. She was rather grossed out, but watching a middle-school boy chug a solid 800 milligrams of caffeine and then go nuts was always entertaining.

“Woohoo! I’m on a roll!” Tyler sucked down the last bits of insect-flavored foam and hurled the empty cup across the room.

The trio was at Flake’s Coffee Shop after school, their backpacks hanging on the chairs. Run by Archibald Flake, the eclectic little shop was adorned with the trappings of Halloween: fake spiderwebs clung to the stained glass windows, the old wooden tables now sported cardboard cutouts of Frankenstein and Dracula, and in the corner, by the bathrooms, a medical skeleton did it’s best red-carpet pose. At best of times, the coffee shop resembled an old stone chapel, but right now, it was more like an antique shop of horrors.

While Louis walked to the counter to order Tyler’s next punnily named beverage, Grace sat back in her chair and folded her arms.

“So genius, you want to answer a few questions for me?”

“Sure.” The hyperactive preteen answered.

“What’s four times four?”

“Twelve!”

“The year Columbus sailed?”

“1776. Give me a hard one!”

“How many legs does an ant have?”

“Easy! Eleventy-one!”

The caffeine was clearly inhibiting Tyler’s ability to think.

“Ok, I’m gonna give you a real brain-boggler, you ready?”

Louis returned with the next drink, something called a ‘Cinna-Organ Swirl’. Louis had considered trying a sip, but recoiled at the sight of mutilated gummy bears dancing in bloody looking fluids.

Grace put her forearms on the table. “What is thirteen times blueberry??”

Gummy bears...” Came the muffled reply from inside the coffee cup, whose dripping lid was now lying on the floor a dozen feet away.

Grace smirked at Louis, who raised his eyebrows with a knowing look.

“Tyler,” Grace commanded, “Look at me.”

A sticky, dismayed face emerged from the foam cup.

Grace pulled a notepad and pen from her backpack. “When you stole my science workbook last month, where did you hide it?”

“Underneath my bed.”

Grace wrote on her notepad. Louis’s jaw dropped, and his eyes popped open.

“What about that time with the note on Jenny Dougal’s locker? Was that you?”

“Yes.” Tyler returned to gulping his Cinna-Organ Swirl.

It’s like he’s drunk! Louis thought.

“Did you put glue thumbtacks to the underside of Jeffrey Harding’s desk? So when the teacher looked for gum she’d poke herself?”

“Yep.” Tyler replied dreamily, face covered in shredded gummy bears.

“Now Tyler, I need you to focus.” Grace implored. “What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

“Oh that? I took Louis’s favorite teddy and flushed him. He really needs to grow up and stop cuddling with plushy toys.”

Louis went white, and then purple, and launched himself over the table at Tyler, who was flung backwards by the ferocity of the assault!

“Yaaah!” Louis cried, “No one touches Booshie and lives!”

“He was begging to get away from your hugging!” Tyler spat back.

The two began rolling around on the floor, smashing into chairs and table legs alike.

Grace walked up the counter and laid a fat fifty on the weather pine. She peered innocently up at the thin face of Archibald Flake, “This is for the coffee...and the damage.”

A loud snap, and the sound of something heavy falling made Grace wince.

She put another fifty next to the first and said hurriedly. “This is for anything else they might break.”

The spidery old man took off his thick glasses, wiped them with a cloth from his pocket, and returned them to their imprints on his face. Then he bared a toothy grin, framed by cracked lips.

“Are you kidding?” He wheezed, “This is the most fun I’ve had in years!”

Grace smiled. She walked back to her seat, slung her backpack over one shoulder, and walked out of the shop. Behind her, the two boys kept fighting.

And at the counter, the old man Archibald Flake sipped a Zombuchino and laughed.


Author's Note:


I decided at random to write this story this morning--thought it might be fun. Please comment!


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October 15, 2020 17:19

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152 comments

Kaylee Tinsley
13:34 Oct 19, 2020

Loved this! Coming from someone who rarely drinks coffee, this is crazy to me!! It definitely brought some humor to my Monday morning! If you don't mind, would you read my latest story, "All the Voices," and drop me a comment about it? I love your style and would cherish your opinion! *Also, I LOVE your bio! So well thought out! :)

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13:35 Oct 19, 2020

Thanks. :) Yeah, of course I'll drop by and check it out.

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Kaylee Tinsley
20:23 Oct 19, 2020

Thanks!

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Anna Mosqueda
20:25 Oct 18, 2020

Very Very funny and clever!! I have no critiques for this story, it's just a fun, quick read that I really enjoyed! For some reason, this story kind of reminded me of a James Patterson book, just a tiny bit haha. Anyways, great job. ~Anna~your new online "reeder."

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20:26 Oct 18, 2020

Lol--bit prouder of this one. It's at least entertaining.

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19:17 Oct 18, 2020

I love the extra words at the end! And the story!

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19:24 Oct 18, 2020

Thanks for the read. :)

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Bella Swan
18:36 Oct 17, 2020

This... how do I even describe this? This is amazing.

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18:40 Oct 17, 2020

XD

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Madhuleka Iyer
14:30 Oct 17, 2020

Hey, this story really got me laughing. I wrote a story on the same prompt too. I would love it if you could read it and leave your comments on it. This was a fun read.

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14:36 Oct 17, 2020

Sure. ;) I'll take a look at yours.

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Unknown User
18:25 Oct 15, 2020

<removed by user>

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18:27 Oct 15, 2020

Lol. XDDDD

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Right? The Extra Words were the best part!

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20:26 Oct 15, 2020

First, HEY! Second, ahhhh read your bio I ❤️❤️❤️ SSSniperWolf as wellll

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HEY, Samara! I know, right?! Lia is nothing short of hilarious. Great to know that we have something in common! :D

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C.j 🤍
17:44 Oct 15, 2020

Good story

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17:45 Oct 15, 2020

Lol.

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
04:34 Nov 14, 2021

This story is absolutely hilarious, not sure what else to say other than that the Extra Words might be the best part

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L. B. Walt
10:39 Nov 04, 2020

Great little story, and very relatable. I think we have all done this at some point in our adolesent lives (or maybe even adult lives!). The scene really comes to life for me through your use of strong and dynamic dialogue. The character language also feels spot for a teenage coffee binge! The extra words extra words extra words also gave me a giggle, I really wasn't sure what was going on here until I read some of the other comments from readers! and hey, it works! I'm new to this platform and I'd really like it if you could also ha...

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14:26 Nov 04, 2020

Of course I'll check your stuff out--whenever I have time at least. :)

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Jasey Lovegood
23:17 Nov 01, 2020

I have a friend called Tyler and he actually acts like this... I think it might be best to keep him away from coffee. Awesome work Leo!

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23:23 Nov 01, 2020

Haha! Yeah we don't need any real life replays of this story! Thanks for reading!

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16:46 Oct 27, 2020

Love this!!! I really like Grace's character. You managed to show the dynamic between the trio quite well without any backstory. Great job!!! [Also, I would really appreciate if you could leave feedback on my stories. The positive comments from my friends inspired me to write but now I need criticism to get better at it.]

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21:46 Oct 27, 2020

I'll check them out if I can get some time. :) I love reading stories and giving critiques, but right now I'm a bit busy with writing a full length novel.

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Charles Stucker
15:22 Oct 24, 2020

Wow, Grace is manipulative, but Tyler isn't any better. No wonder they drink at a Flake's coffee shop... This was quick and fun and short. Just the sort of thing which fits poorly on Reedsy but which has a big market in places like reader's digest.

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15:45 Oct 24, 2020

Hehehe, thanks for reading, even if ya didn't like it. XD

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Charles Stucker
19:21 Oct 24, 2020

Quick and fun and short. I do like those traits. But Reedsy judges don't.

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19:31 Oct 24, 2020

Yeah, they removed the other story I had that was too short, but not this one for some reason...Potentially because the "ExtraWords" at the end could be considered part of the comedy.

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Autumn Williams
14:41 Oct 23, 2020

Loved this! You had me at "coffee." Lol. Excellent job, and very funny!

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14:55 Oct 23, 2020

Glad you read it. ;)

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Shae Greyfeather
12:14 Oct 22, 2020

He couldn't remember history or math but he could remember the things he had done. Nice

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12:37 Oct 22, 2020

Honestly, I can't remember history or math on any day. XD

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11:17 Oct 22, 2020

Lol, this is the first time I've seen an entry with an "Extra Words" section. That's hilarious! Also, this vv is Linus from Peanuts! XD "Louis went white, and then purple, and launched himself over the table at Tyler, who was flung backwards by the ferocity of the assault!"

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11:33 Oct 22, 2020

Haha! I never thought of Linus, but now that I look I can see the similarities. XDD

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11:46 Oct 22, 2020

Linus is my absolute fave lol.

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B. W.
00:52 Oct 22, 2020

another 10/10 :)

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19:16 Oct 21, 2020

This is hysterical!!!

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19:41 Oct 21, 2020

Glad U liked it. ;)

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Taylor Crosby
17:00 Oct 21, 2020

Oh my gosh! This is freakin' hysterical! I love it! Unfortunately, can't relate. Totally can't. Not lying. Definitely not, I say while my brain goes: (btw, how many Starbuck Doubleshots and Birthday Cake Bash Bangs will it take today to make me stay up until 2 in the morning texting my poor sister nothing but memes and random thoughts that pop into my head? Hmm, I'm already on the second one, so that equals sister gets bothered by sixty+ dings while sleeping...)

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18:50 Oct 21, 2020

Yeah, for me it only takes 1. :P--I do not have a high caffeine tolerance.

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02:18 Oct 19, 2020

I laughed so hard I almost choked on my water 😂 Great story!! The humor was amazing; EVERYONE needs to read this. -M Your latest follower ;)

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11:25 Oct 19, 2020

Thanks for the read. :)

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14:51 Oct 19, 2020

:D

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03:44 Oct 17, 2020

I love the type of humor you incorporated in this! I find myself relating to Grace a lot, the way you crafted her character gives her dimension, which is what made her so funny and relatable. I actually know a person named Tyler and he is the complete opposite of the Tyler in this story so it was entertaining for me to read the parts with him in it! Overall, this was a great take on the prompt, it was very funny, and super enjoyable.

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11:30 Oct 17, 2020

Thanks for the read, hope it wasn't too ridiculous. XD

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14:49 Oct 17, 2020

Haha of course not! I love absurd humor, it's one of my favorites.

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15:22 Oct 17, 2020

Lol, cool. :)--I get lots of inspiration for this kind of stuff from my younger siblings. (of which there are four)

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16:34 Oct 17, 2020

Aww lucky! I've always wanted a big family but I only have one, extremely stoic, younger sibling.

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17:10 Oct 17, 2020

Lol, mine are all loud. ;)

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