The magic words

Submitted into Contest #50 in response to: Write a story about a proposal. ... view prompt

53 comments

General

They seem to be the perfect match. But are they really?

They seem to have a happy relationship. But are they really happy together?

Lydia and Scott met a year ago and started dating 8 months ago.

Their relationship started in the most unpredictable way that no one can understand but them. We can say that they have a unique relationship. No one can completely understand why they are together, maybe that is why they still are. It’s their little secret. Their secret is the reason why it all started. Every couple has their own secret, haven’t they?

Under a sky riddled with bright stars, the charming couple has just finished eating their dinner gently prepared by Lydia. She loves cooking, but what she prefers is seeing Scott enjoying each meal she cooks with love and devour them together every night. Eating their dinner together was their ritual even if they did not live together.

“Thanks for the dinner, it was delicious as always.” He gently kisses her on her right cheek and keeps his eyes on hers a moment before saying “I love you”. Her tawny gold eyes flutter away, she can not hold his gaze anymore.

His eyes, however, wait on her for an answer but as usual, she does not respond back to those words. Instead, her lips curl into a hesitant grin.

Lydia stands up and starts clearing the table.

“Do you love me? “, Scott asks suddenly.

Her heart skips a beat. His question catches her off guard. “Uh…” She stumbles over her words.

“You never told me you love me.“

“I know…”, she trails off, “I’m just not ready yet, sorry”, She replied with trembling lips.

He looks down and takes the plates from her hands and heads to the kitchen.

He looks a bit disappointed; he has been waiting for her to say those magic words to him for a long time.

For him, saying ‘ I Love You’ is a natural way to express his feelings. It’s natural and easy to him as breathing.

However, it is not as simple for her. She has never said those words to him even after months of relationship. Why?

She may have her own way of expressing her love. People have all kinds of different loves languages.

Saying “I love you“ is not the only way to show love and affection. Some people show their love by doing kind things to others, through physical touch, by giving gifts, or by spending quality time together.

Saying “I love you“ may be tough to get out of her mouth because she needs time.

Scott fell in love with Lydia quickly and he expressed his feelings the first time without hesitation. But Lydia does not work that way.

Some people are cautious when it comes to love, and that’s not always a bad thing. When they finally say it, you know they really mean it.

It may be one of these reasons why she does not express her feelings. She may be unsure of what she really feels for him or maybe she just does not love him back, as simple as that.

The days go by; Lydia spends days thinking about her boyfriend, their relationship, and her feelings for him. Something is wrong about their relationship, they both know it but neither of them dares to say it out loud.

What is the problem? Is she the problem? Is something wrong with her? Does she love him? She keeps asking these questions to herself over and over again even if she knows the answers.

As she wakes up one morning, realization slaps her in the face. She knows what she has to do now. This relationship can not go on this way, not anymore. She has made her decision, and she is quite confident that it is the right decision. Her heart grows too heavy to hold.

She will tell him tonight.

The day begins bruising into the night. Lydia is preparing dinner, Scott is coming in any minute. The clock ticks and tocks. He usually comes at 7 o'clock. He finally comes, she is acting as usual. She does not want him to get suspicious but he seems different. Does he know what she wants to tell him? No, that is impossible. She did not tell anyone, not even her best friend whom she usually tells everything that happens in her life and asks for any advice. Thus, why is he behaving so strangely? Is it because of what happened the other day? At that moment, she realizes he did not tell him he loves her since that day. It has been a week. Are his feelings for her fading? She chases those thoughts away. It is not the time for overthinking about that, not before what she was going to tell him.

During dinner, Lydia is unable to sit still, neither is he. They do not talk much. She is clearly nervous but his behavior is weird. He usually laughs and talks non-stop. Why is he behaving this way?

Lydia clears her throat and speaks with quiet conviction. “I have something to tell you.”

She can feel her pulse getting faster and warmth spreading over her. While Scott adjusts his position on the steel, she rubs her hands together under the table. She takes a deep breath and exhales. She is ready now.

“I have been meaning to tell you that for a moment but I needed time. I love you."

She puts her hands on the table showing a ring. She fixes her gaze on him. His eyes and nose crinkle, and his teeth gnash into a grin.

He is so happy to finally hear those three magic words.

“Wait…” He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a red box. “I was going to propose to you too”, he says with a humming voice.

Her heart is pounding fast against her chest. Her mouth is wide open. She was not expecting that at all.

“Marry me”, he says on his knee as he opens the little box between his fingers.


July 12, 2020 21:17

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53 comments

Djenat Remmache
21:41 Jul 12, 2020

Hello everybody, if you like the story give it a like, please. If you have any suggestions, don't hesitate to tell me, You are more than welcome. I need feedback to improve my writing skills. By the way, English is not my native language. Thus, if you find grammatical mistakes ( and I am sure you will), point them out. :) Thank you for reading my story.

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Alexi Delavigne
23:00 Jul 12, 2020

This was a really sweet story! There were a few grammar mistakes but I didn’t notice anything major, and I for one know I have mistakes in my stories as well (and English is my first language). One thing I noticed, I don’t know if it was a mistake or on purpose, when he says “I was going to propose to you too,” it was a little confusing. Was she proposing to him? Or if she wasn’t, you don’t need the “too.” If she wasn’t proposing I would just say “I was going to propose to you.” But it was minor anyways. I hope that makes sense and isn’t too...

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Djenat Remmache
23:25 Jul 12, 2020

Thank you so much! She was going to propose to him. I did not say it clearly in the story but when I wrote "She puts her hands on the table showing a ring." , that is what I meant by it, may be it is too subtle lol. Thanks again for reading my story.

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Alexi Delavigne
00:20 Jul 13, 2020

Okay I did see that too I wasn’t sure though because I wasn’t sure if she had given herself an engagement ring or she got one for him. I definitely see what you were trying to do though. It might’ve just been me that was confused. It was a good story, I look forward to reading more from you!

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Djenat Remmache
00:24 Jul 13, 2020

You're so sweet, it means the world to me.

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נιмму 🤎
03:31 Jul 19, 2020

<3 I don't know what to say... you left me speechless my god this is really good, so beautiful and heartfelt I'd appreciate it if you could check out my new story "promises are broken"? no pressure

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Djenat Remmache
10:21 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you Celeste. Sure!

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Nandan Prasad
11:31 Jul 13, 2020

Hey, great story! The beginning is curious and really draws the reader on, so well done on that. There were a few places where the end quotes symbol became start quotes symbol, but that's nothing too serious. It doesn't take away from the story, which is just so sweet and well-written. So, all in all, fabulous read. Also, would you mind checking out my stories if it is not too much trouble? Thanks and good luck!

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Djenat Remmache
10:21 Jul 20, 2020

Thanks !!

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Laiba M
12:25 Jul 24, 2020

Hey Djenat! I loved the story, it was really sweet. I liked the cute twist at the end! Some grammatical issues can easily be fixed with an online editor, but other than that the story is practically flawless :)

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Djenat Remmache
12:42 Jul 24, 2020

Thank you! :)

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Laiba M
14:53 Jul 25, 2020

No problem!!

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Maya Reynolds
00:05 Jul 24, 2020

Aww, such a sweet story! I love how you describe the different "love languages" - how people show their love in different ways. I also love the title. Great job!

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22:27 Jul 23, 2020

God, the girl proposed first, and through an action? That's unique! You have a well articulated way of letting your characters tell the story, rather than you forcing them. As I devoured the words, I had the feeling that you would have loved for her to say those three words sooner, but you too, their creator, had to be patient, for she had made it clear; she needed time. Thank you. Write more.

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Djenat Remmache
22:30 Jul 23, 2020

Thank you! It means a lot!

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21:56 Jul 23, 2020

I liked the touch of realism, in that it takes Lydia time to come to terms with her feelings. It made this story different from the usual 'swept off your feet all at once' romance

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Monica G
21:18 Jul 23, 2020

Really nice story indeed! Scott shouldn’t have proposed so soon tho! If she needs time to say “i love you” she surely needs time before she commits like that! Apart from that, good style

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Gracie Jean
22:15 Jul 22, 2020

Aww, this story was so cute! I was reading the other comments, and honestly, I thought your English was spectacular. The only thing I would say you could do to improve is using more contraction words (Like saying “don’t” instead of “do not”, “can’t” instead of “can not”, or “isn’t” instead of “is not”). I am really guilty of doing this in my writing and I’m trying to improve it, so I’ve become really good at noticing places where contractions can be used. Otherwise, I thought your story was amazing!

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Djenat Remmache
19:59 Jul 23, 2020

Thank you, it means a lot.

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San T.
20:06 Jul 20, 2020

Loved the story, specially the ending.. double proposal.. wow!

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Djenat Remmache
22:11 Jul 20, 2020

I'm glad you enjoyed it !

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Faleha Hakim
10:36 Jul 15, 2020

'The day begins bruising into the night' is a very lovely description. Good story.

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Djenat Remmache
10:22 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you!

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Amany Sayed
17:30 Jul 14, 2020

Hello! You asked me to give feedback, so here I am. It was a very cute story, as I am a sucker for romance. At first, I saw a couple grammatical errors and was a bit frustrated, but when I scrolled down to the comments, and saw that English isn't your native language, the amount of grammar errors is nothing! I will just point out a couple. You have a little bit of problems with tenses, but that is one thing every writer has trouble with. Firstly, when you write "During dinner, Lydia is unable to sit still, neither does he."you should replac...

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Djenat Remmache
21:20 Jul 14, 2020

Thank you so much for your constructive feedback. It is very helpful! I will correct the errors you pointed out.

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M K
14:12 Jul 13, 2020

I like the use of imagery you have used, it adds to the magical moment. There were some errors like “Do you love me? “, there's no need for the comma there since you have the question mark, but it can easily be revised with another read through. Overall a good piece! Hope you can check out my first story too and let me know how it is. :)

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Djenat Remmache
17:37 Jul 13, 2020

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate. Sure !

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Nancy Drayce
11:22 Jul 13, 2020

Beautiful story 💕 I love it! - Three magical words, as you said! 🤗

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Djenat Remmache
11:24 Jul 13, 2020

Thank you Nancy! :)

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E. Jude
10:55 Jul 13, 2020

Hej! Saw that you gave me a follow, so I went to check you out!!! This was a good story! Especially for your first on Reedsy, so well done! I liked the overall feel and it was quite nice that the woman was proposing for once. There were a couple of grammar issues, nut nothing major, so don't worry. It was a pleasant read! I would love it if you could check out my stories too!!! XElsa

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Djenat Remmache
11:23 Jul 13, 2020

Thanks a lot.

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Shivani Manocha
09:05 Jul 13, 2020

Nice story. Keep writing!

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Djenat Remmache
10:36 Jul 13, 2020

Thanks Shivani. :)

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Khizra Aslam
08:28 Jul 13, 2020

Hey there, I saw that you followed me so I decided to have a look at your story, so here I am. Apart from the magical way of narrating the story, it also hooked me till the end. I loved the way how you expressed emotions. Keep up the good work ❤👏

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Djenat Remmache
10:36 Jul 13, 2020

Thanks, you made my day!

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Batool Hussain
04:06 Jul 13, 2020

This is so good. It had me hooked up until the end. Lovely!

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Djenat Remmache
10:35 Jul 13, 2020

Thank you Batool!

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Arvi Krish
02:45 Jul 13, 2020

Lovely! Really enjoyed reading this. It's always nice to have happy ending in love stories :-)

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Djenat Remmache
10:35 Jul 13, 2020

Glad you enjoyed it !

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Amith Shaju
02:07 Jul 13, 2020

Heart warming story... You really captured the dilemmas of a person who wishes to say "I love you" when they truly mean it. I felt the ending was a bit abrupt and instead perhaps some sort of tension could be introduced. Your English is fine except for the occasional typos like "Scott felt in love" instead of "Scott fell in love". Happy writing

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Djenat Remmache
10:34 Jul 13, 2020

Thank you for your feedback. I corrected the mistake. :) Happy writing too

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