As the ship soars across the ocean a captain pirate named Nicholas looks at the sun through his telescope to see if he is almost near his destination. Nicholas is from an island called Seaport & the people from his island for years have been searching for this magical time machine/ treasure box that takes you into the future. One day Nicholas thought to himself " I'm going to find me treasure" because he was so obsessed with the idea of going into the future so he spoke to the hobbit of his island & he told Nicholas that if he wants this treasure badly he has to go to an island called Jade's Treasure Island it's an island where nothing but the magic happens! Some stones & Rocks were made to protect you from harm some fairies waterfalls & trolls live there! So Nicholas did exactly what the hobbit told him to do as fast as he could he got on his ship & begin to look for this island "Ay ay can't wait until I find me treasure I will see what my future beholds!" (Nicholas says in a cheerful tone of voice). Continuing to look out of his telescope when suddenly he felt a throbbing sensation from the ocean his ship started to rock back & forth uncontrollably, Nicholas with a horrified look on his face began to take more control of the wheel " what is happening to my ship!". A gigantic Mermaid with red hair & pale silky skin was swimming underwater near Nicholas ship causing the ship to jerk back n forth. Nicholas looks up & sees the Mermaid swimming in circles around his ship Nicholas shouts at the mermaid " what are you doing you fool you are getting in me way from finding me treasure!" The Mermaid begins to smile & splash in the water " Hey! Did you hear what I said I have to go what do you want?" Nicholas says loudly as the Mermaid continues to splash in the ocean. Nicholas becomes angry & let go of the wheel of the ship & begins to pout " how am I suppose to get going if these mermaids in my way" The mermaid flops in the ship with Nicholas & starts to laugh
" What is funny? I have to get going I have to find me treasure so I can be the first pirate from my island who has found this magical treasure!" " Treasure? Do you say? where is the treasure?" Says the Mermaid. " ar you speak? Jade's Treasure Island they say" Nicholas says. The mermaids blue eyes begin to sparkle as she says " Jade's Treasure Island that's my home" " home? you are from Jades Treasure Island? " Nicholas says. " Yes! I can show you the way if you are lost" the Mermaid says in a gentle tone of voice. " YES YES, I WOULD LOVE THAT!" (Nicholas says in a cheerful tone of voice!) " follow my fin as I enter the water" the Mermaid says as she dives in the water. Quickly Nicholas begins to turn the wheel of the ship & follows the mermaid. As he soars through the ocean he begins to have a flashback of him & the hobbit speaking about the mythical treasure! " The sun will be your guide of finding this treasure," the hobbit says while drawing the sun on the wall with yellow chalk, " The sun? Why the sun?" Nicholas asks curiously. " We do not have time to discuss why but the sun will always guide you whenever you feel like you are lost just look up to the sun & follow it every step of the way"
" The sun will help me find my treasure". The flashback begins to fade & Nicholas comes back to reality he automatically looks down at the ocean to see if he still sees the Mermaid which he does, she turns around & smiles at him when all of a sudden a shark comes up behind her & eats her. "NO!" Nicholas shouts " No mermaid! Damn you shark you must die she was the key to finding me treasure" Nicholas Pauses & Realizes what the hobbit had told him. Quietly Nicholas says to himself "Follow the sun" then loudly he says " Follow the sun I must remember what me hobbit told me to follow the sun!" Nicholas pulls out his telescope where he sees the sun & begins to follow it. As the hour's pass by the sun begins to set Nicholas becomes anxious when he realizes the sun is fading! " Oh No Sun Come back me need you!" Nicholas begins to panic & feels he has nothing left to help him find this treasure. " no sun no Mermaid I'm never gonna find me treasure!" He says in a sorrowful tone of voice. Then, Nicholas begins to have a flashback of when he was just a little boy riding in a ship along with his father " One day you soon will be Captain Nicholas!" Says his father, " Captain! Me!" 7-Year-old Nicholas says cheerfully! " Yes, Captain & if one day you happen to be riding me ship at night & you seem to be lost look for the moon in the dark sky & it will guide you wherever you need to go" " Ar ar," Nicholas says him & his father begins to laugh. The flashback fades away Nicholas wipes his tears & says excitingly " Yes of course the moon! I must follow the moon! Just like papa said!" He immediately started to move the ship & begins to follow the moon. " I'm going to find me treasure after all!"
As he soars through the ocean.
Suddenly, It has been 2 days since Nicholas has been searching for this treasure he starts to become exhausted " Oh I wonder how long I've been on this ship? I think I better find land to rest!" Nicholas finds land and lands his ship on it. Nicholas hops off of his ship with a bag of raw fish in his hand & begins to sit on the flat surface eating the feast that he had prepared for himself. "Scrumptious I should say exactly what my tummy needed" As he munches on his feast he begins to look at the sky with a full moon & closes his eyes to make a wish to soon land in Jade's Treasure Island! "Papa said look at the moon to guide me so that's what I'll do" Nicholas begins to fall asleep as he slowly talks.
A butterfly lands on Nicholas's nose as he is laying down on the sand the feeling of the butterfly landing on his nose awakens him the butterfly then flew into the midst of the air. Nicholas looks down at his watch which says 9:45 am "I must still make it to Jade's Treasure island to find me treasure" Nicholas returns to his ship boarding into the ocean again "Follow the sun I must follow the sun ar ar" as he is following the sun he suddenly sees a castle through his telescope "A castle? That has to be where my treasure is" Nicholas says as he approaches the land with the castle, the ship lands on the flat surface & Nicholas begins to walk closer & closer towards the castle until he sees a door that says "Welcome To Jade's Treasure Island!" " Me treasure!" Nicholas says excitedly he begins to try to knock on the door but before he could do that the door opens on its own. As the door opens Nicholas sees the land exactly how it was described by the people of his island fairies were flying around beautiful flowers blooming the protective stones were floating in the pond along with the fishes.
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2 comments
Hi there, This is a good story. Your formatting can use some help - for example, setting off your dialogue with spacing. I think you might benefit from using a style guide that will outline the writing conventions. I usually recommend Elements of Style 2017. KEEP WRITING - your work shows a lot of potential, ~MP~
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Oh thank you so much for your feedback I appreciate it 😁
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