1071 comments

Fiction Crime

SHOUTOUT TO COCO LONGSTAFF SHE'S AMAZING!!!! CHECK HER OUT AT https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/coco-longstaff/


When James woke up in the morning, he did not speak to his fellow Workers. No one spoke, because to speak your mind is to sin. James tried to keep his mind as blank as he could but the unspoken sins kept rising up to meet him.


There were 100 people in the room, their beds lined up in columns. James' was on the column closest to the right wall, so he saw the beds of everyone else. He wanted to tell them to go back to bed, that it was too early, but it was already ten minutes into their breakfast time.


James lifted his legs to the side of the bed and straightened his back as he had always done. He put on his shoes and let his shirt fall onto his back. James used to hate those clothes, with their disgusting off-white colors. At first, he'd tried to wear his own, but then by some change of heart, he found that he loved them. He still didn't know why. His best guess was that the Leaders didn't think he needed the information.


All the men walked in a line out of the bedroom to the dining hall while James thought about his unspoken sins. Your hair is too long, he thought about the man to his left, I don't like your face, he thought about another. None of the men could hear his crimes, but he tried to make them known of his distaste.


It's dark today. Do we have to go out when it's dark? James knew it was a horrible crime to wish not to work, not to contribute to the Workforce, but who could punish him for his thoughts??


"You're too stinky, I don't like your eyes, your nose is disgusting, All of you look horrible and ugly." Everyone looked at him with shock, but James kept spooning green beans onto his platter. Only when he turned around did he realize he'd committed his last sin for all to see.


Don't speak of it, James said with his eyes. That was the only way the Workers communicated, and a very effective one at that. The other Workers turned away and continued to eat their beans.


At 5:00 in the morning, all the men filed out to the streets and began their work. It was a tedious task, the one assigned to them., keeping the streets clean. There was a shed at each intersection with brooms and blowers, and every day the Workers took their tools from there. The streets had wide sidewalks so there was more space to clean but they got up early so they could finish before dinner.


James worked on the 260th quadrant of town, where the leaves were gray and shriveled. They crumbled whenever he tried to sweep them up, which was a pain, but he made do. Through all of his years as a Worker, he had learned the correct way to hold a broom, with your lower hand pressing down and your upper pressing up. It made work a little more bearable.


James liked to think of the other Workers as shrimp, dancing across the stones in the sidewalk. It was a curse, his brain, his damned creativity, but it was funny. He had to stifle a laugh every now and then so as not to become a Pupil at the Reeducation Institute. If you spoke out of line, it was simply ration cuts. For a laugh, you got pain.


The first time that a laugh drifted into James' ears was a long time ago, he couldn't tell how long. It had been business as usual and James' head wasn't crowded with the sins it was today. He had gone to his corner with a broom, prepared for a hard day of work. Back then, he had a partner. It was a stout man, with a rough beard. Few Workers had beards. The man had committed a heinous crime, one that even James dared not to commit: He had whistled. It was a horrible treachery but James couldn't help himself. He opened his ears to the man's whistling and let it warm him up.


A few weeks after the man's offense, James had come upon his corner one day to find that he was alone. There was no partner, no musical lilt in the air. It had been long enough, and they reeducated him. James couldn't cry, no, because he hadn't really known the man, but he did feel sick to his stomach. He refused his extra portions and even starved himself.


In the darkness, as James lay in bed trying to fall asleep, a voice came to him. It wasn't any voice that he'd heard before, but a deep voice. The words rang out in front of him, the stops and fricatives rolling into his ears. Who are you? He pondered over the voice, then found himself at a sudden halt. His words weren't their own, no, but the voice spoke them.


James wanted to scream, to rip the voice from his brain, but then a warmth settled over him. It was an odd feeling, something entirely new to him but not unknown. He settled into the voice, realizing its entirety. The deep tones had felt odd in his mind, but he now felt a kinship to them. The voice was not any voice but James' voice. It was the first time James had heard a voice.


You have a deep voice... I... I have a deep voice. James felt the word 'I', the new meaning shocking his brain. He had never thought of himself in the individual before. Did his thoughts echo through the minds of others? I like cheese. I don't like your hair. I really hate mice. James tested it out, thought all horrible things about all manners of people, but they never responded or even glanced at him. He was free in his mind, free to speak and to insult and to prefer and to love and to cherish and to hate. It was his own, the mind, and he found that he loved it. There was nothing that could make him separate from it.

January 11, 2021 17:19

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1071 comments

Mira Caplan
19:31 Jan 12, 2021

LUKE KATELYN HOWELL IS NOW A MARSHMALLOW

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. .
19:52 Jan 12, 2021

YAY

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Mira Caplan
19:17 Jan 12, 2021

OH!!! 1984 for the puzzle thingy

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. .
19:52 Jan 12, 2021

Yas I gotta go now tho so I'll talk to you tomorrow

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Mira Caplan
20:21 Jan 12, 2021

YAAAY byeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Mira Caplan
20:21 Jan 12, 2021

YAAAY byeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Unknown User
18:07 Jan 12, 2021

<removed by user>

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. .
18:07 Jan 12, 2021

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Do I sound like that?? And yes, I will tell you.

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Unknown User
18:13 Jan 12, 2021

<removed by user>

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. .
18:14 Jan 12, 2021

Ha that's a mooooooooooooood. Relatableeeeee

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Mira Caplan
17:20 Jan 12, 2021

Artemis Fowl for the puzzle? No idea. I just asked for breakout rooms........

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. .
17:21 Jan 12, 2021

Nah it isn't YAYYYY

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Mira Caplan
17:22 Jan 12, 2021

CLUE??? Teacher isn't doing anythingggggggggg

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. .
17:23 Jan 12, 2021

Your clue is its a classic of dystopia.

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Mira Caplan
17:24 Jan 12, 2021

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........idk

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Mira Caplan
17:24 Jan 12, 2021

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........idk

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Mira Caplan
16:42 Jan 12, 2021

NEW THREAD CUZ YEAHHHHHHH

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. .
16:43 Jan 12, 2021

Guess what I'm listening to!!?

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Mira Caplan
16:46 Jan 12, 2021

K pop? LUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Mira Caplan
16:48 Jan 12, 2021

She...is...SO CUTEEEEEEEE AND FLURFFY AND SAY HI FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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. .
16:49 Jan 12, 2021

SHE IS SO CUTEEEEEEE AND I DID SAY HI!!!! I'M LISTENING TO HWAA OMG ITS THE TOV THEME SONG

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Mira Caplan
16:50 Jan 12, 2021

NOICE!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK SHE'S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Does she recognize meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??????????????????????

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Maya -
13:43 Jan 12, 2021

Howdy! :D

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. .
13:44 Jan 12, 2021

Howdy!!

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Maya -
13:45 Jan 12, 2021

How's life? :)

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. .
13:45 Jan 12, 2021

Great!! Hbu?

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Maya -
13:47 Jan 12, 2021

Good! Are you reading any good books lately?

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. .
13:47 Jan 12, 2021

I'm starting the Adventures of Kavalier and Clay!!

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Coco Longstaff
09:20 Jan 12, 2021

Omg uh whyyy!!!!! Aww thx litlover youre spectacular!

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. .
12:36 Jan 12, 2021

Awww thx you too!!! (Call me Luke, pls you deserve it)

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Coco Longstaff
21:02 Jan 12, 2021

OK, and thanks!

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. .
21:02 Jan 12, 2021

No prob!!!

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Mira Caplan
22:41 Jan 11, 2021

New thread cuz that one was seriously long. I NEED A NAME FOR THERIN'S DRAGONNNNNN

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. .
22:47 Jan 11, 2021

Cadmus!!!! PLEASE USE IT SOMETIME!!! OR I WILLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

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Mira Caplan
22:48 Jan 11, 2021

OK FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE but like......ok. Ok.

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. .
22:49 Jan 11, 2021

Imma use Cadmia for one of the main characters in TOV

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Mira Caplan
22:51 Jan 11, 2021

OoooOOOOhhHHHH, fancy. WHO??? CAN I MAKE A CHARACTER FOR TOV??? I already have ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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. .
22:53 Jan 11, 2021

She's gonna be one of the tree people that climb and she's going to wield the Space sword when they get it from the Largron. OF COURSE TELL ME IDEAS AND I TWEAK!!!

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Mira Caplan
20:42 Jan 11, 2021

WE NEEEEEEEEEEEEED TO MAKE A PLAYLIST FOR TDR!!!!!!!!!!!! And Malefice, obviously. Wolves by Selena Gomez is the EPITOME of Theraya. We need a Luriene theme........... And a Adyona theme

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. .
20:43 Jan 11, 2021

YAS!!!!!!

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Mira Caplan
20:44 Jan 11, 2021

I'm listening to Wolves, and IT IS PERFECT FOR THERAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IT NOW IT'S SO GOOD IT'S PARFAIT

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. .
20:46 Jan 11, 2021

I've listened to ittttttt

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Mira Caplan
20:47 Jan 11, 2021

ISN'T IT GREAT??????????????????????????????

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Mira Caplan
20:47 Jan 11, 2021

Don't Let Me Down could work as a Raya theme. I'm listening to it. OH. MY. GOD. I didn't realize it, but when he's in the arena and she's like silently begging for him to live, IT. IS. PARFAIT. I can't- I can't...............i can't. (I thought you'd be here when I need you the most so...don't let me down *insane instrumentals and synth*)

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. .
20:48 Jan 11, 2021

XDDDDDDDD You're fangirling, Mira

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Mira Caplan
20:49 Jan 11, 2021

I KNOW AND ITS PERFECT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK We need a Luriene theme song. HELP.

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