The shape-shifter.

Submitted into Contest #48 in response to: Write about someone who has a superpower.... view prompt

166 comments

Fantasy

She radiated light just like her name. Her beautiful skin glistened in the neon light coming from the paved court through the slits in the blind, her soot-black lashes matted, and her gray beady eyes mischievous more than ever. Her long jet black hair fell in loose waves past her shoulders, with a few black peekaboo strands. “Haya. . . .?” called her mother. She quickly hid her diary under her pillow and marched off to her mother, anxious to see what came next.


Dear diary,

Ma still doesn’t know of my shape-shifting. It has been three days since I last changed shape. I changed into Yusuf, my brother last time because he knows. How funny it was when I became a young boy, dressed loosely in a drab green T-shirt and baggy green trousers. I had a green army jacket tied around my waist and a green canvas bag slung over my shoulder. The only non-green thing about me was the pair of scruffy black walking boots on my feet. Do you know as to why did I change into him? It is because he was having a high degree of fever. Very high! And, he couldn’t attend his school’s function in such a condition. Could he?


“Ma, you called?” asked Haya.


“Yes. Could you please peel the potatoes and chop the onions.”


Oh, no. Not the chores again! She visualized of being a cat and . . . . Woah, her powers never disappointed her. Smiling, she meowed and left the scene.


“Haya. . . .? Where’d she go?”


Haya was strolling around on the newly paved street, as a cat of course when she saw him. There was her uncle. He wasn’t as slight as Haya first thought him to be: he wasn’t exactly muscular, but he wasn’t weedy-looking either…there was an air of hidden strength about him, a graceful strength that showed in his balance, the way he held himself, the way he walked. . . . Changing appearance, she approached him. 

“Hello!” 

“Hello,” he replied, his voice hoarse. But, without saying anything further, he vanished into thin air, leaving not even a trace behind him. So her powers were definitely genetic. 


Dear diary,

My powers are proving to be no good to me. Except for helping in avoiding the hectic house chores, of course. Oh, I hope I get to be Maryse Rills tomorrow. The center of attention in our class. Good night.”


Haya woke up to something really strange. She wasn’t feeling like herself at all. Her blond hair was suddenly a different color. She bounced off her bed and headed over to the mirror, anxious to see what the matter was. She gasped. Her wish had been heard. There, in front of her stood Maryse Rills. No wonder she was called the “star" – her amber eyes shone like orbs in the night. Her hair, deep hues of fierce crimson against her angelic face Haya smirked. Things were about to get spiced up!


At her school, things kept going on crazily in her favor. Maryse was on leave and so the people who once followed Maryse now followed her. Haya never thought that her dream would come true in such a way. The dance crew captain arrived. 

”Maryse? Will you be coming for the practice this afternoon?” 

“Of course, I will.”

“What happened to your voice?”

Instead of replying to the unexpected question, Haya quickly hurried away.


Back at her home, she changed back to her usual self. She kept on playing and then replaying her day’s highlights. She was smiling to herself when her mother arrived. 


“You always get away with the chores one way or the other. But, today. The chores have arrived for you themselves. Chop the onions! Quick. Quick. . .”


“Ma. . . I’m really tired. I promise I’ll do the chores once I wake after taking an afternoon nap.”


“No! You’re doing the chores, now!”


Defeated, she got busy with the work. Chop, chop, chop. . . Peel, peel, peel . . . Chop, chop, chop. . . Peel, peel, peel . . .


The sunlight poured into her room through the crevices of her room’s window. A brand new day meant a brand new appearance. . . . She had never tried to pull off an appearance in front of her Abba. She thought of Mina, the new neighbor, and her mum. Abba detested them for their never-ending talks. What if Haya changed into Mina this time? She giggled, Abba was about to get furious.


Abba arrived late that afternoon, around 7:05. But, Haya was already ‘in Mina’s shoes.’ She now had bright, dark eyes and satiny brown skin. She wore a pale blue hoodie with grey capri pants. Her eyes were Fremen blue, staring out of a soft, round face. 

“Hello. . .” she began, hoping Abba wouldn’t recognize her.

 “Hello. . . .young lady.” He smiled.

 Young lady? Was her secret out, already? Her heart started sinking. Nevertheless, she continued. 

“Uncle, I’m here to meet Haya. Is she at home?” 

“She is everywhere but home, young lady.”

Haya’s face turned pale. Everywhere but home? So, they all knew it. Yusuf must’ve given her away. She wanted to cry. 

“All good, young lady?” Abba wasn’t going to go easy.

“Yessir,” and she quickly left the house.

Once outside, she breathed heavily. How dare they play with her emotions? She wanted to shout at the top of her lungs at the sudden betrayal. But then again, why did she expect them to be fair with her when she, herself had been playing with their emotions. A wave of guilt passed over her like fog on a beach party.

Guilt-stricken, she headed home.


Who would Haya want to be now? There was a long queue of people for Haya to change appearance into. 

Yusuf – done.

Mina—done.

Maryse—done.

An animal—done.

Abba—nope.

Ma—nope.

Amena— . . . .? Oh, how had she forgotten Amena?


She was about to shape-shift into Amena when suddenly there was a. . . Whoosh. Haya was now drenched in ice-cold water. “Hello, hello? My daughter is dreaming of having a superpower again?” her Mom smirked. The bucket of cold water, still in her hand.


Dreaming . . . ? Had this been a dream all along? Oh, no! Not again.

June 29, 2020 16:23

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166 comments

Barbara Burgess
09:07 Jul 08, 2020

An interesting idea. I like how you have taken the idea of shapeshifting and turned it into a story. Also how you added the diary for effect.

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Batool Hussain
09:24 Jul 08, 2020

Thank you;)

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Denise Brown
02:58 Jul 08, 2020

Hi Batool This is a really lovely story. It has emotion and takes the reader on a nice trip, wondering where we are headed! I love some of your description - you've got a good control of that - but don't over do it, especially in describing what characters are wearing. For me, that is distracting. My other comment would be not to overdo the number of characters/names you introduce into a short story. I can become to complex for the reader to follow. I had to review several times to make sure I had it figured out. I really like the Dia...

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Batool Hussain
04:29 Jul 08, 2020

Thanks, Denise

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Carynn Bohley
17:51 Jul 07, 2020

I love your use of descriptions! This is something I'm still working at. Maybe you could give my story a like? Sadly it hasn't gotten much attention... :(

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Batool Hussain
17:57 Jul 07, 2020

Thank you! I'll go right away. Could you check out my new story 'Zita?'

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Carynn Bohley
18:21 Jul 07, 2020

Sure!

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Grace Yi
16:49 Jul 07, 2020

I liked the story, but there were a couple of grammar errors, especially in the dialogue.

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Batool Hussain
17:11 Jul 07, 2020

Thanks for the feedback! Do you mind checking out my very new story 'Zita?' It would mean so much to me if you do;)

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Nashrah Siddiqui
15:22 Jul 07, 2020

Undoubtedly, the story was very grasping. 👍❤

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Batool Hussain
15:47 Jul 07, 2020

Thank you

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Felix Thorne
14:53 Jul 06, 2020

Loved the story! Plays on an old dream I have :) Ending was good but really unexpected!

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Batool Hussain
15:04 Jul 06, 2020

Thanks. I hope the dream was good!

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Yageen Faiz
14:46 Jul 06, 2020

hello! can you read one of my stories?

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Batool Hussain
14:49 Jul 06, 2020

Sure! I'll check them in a while. Do you mind checking out my latest story 'Zita?' Thanks.

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Yageen Faiz
16:36 Jul 06, 2020

sure!

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Thotsuki Bakuhoe
14:17 Jul 06, 2020

I love this story. I wasn't expecting the ending, but it was good. There were some parts that didn't make very much sense and I think you could've worked on writing more about what she did when she was shape-shifted. Overall, this is a great story. I hope you have a great day and stay safe.

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Batool Hussain
14:42 Jul 06, 2020

Thanks for the feedback

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Audrey Winter
08:38 Jul 06, 2020

Very imaginative story! Some slight language/grammar issues that disrupt the flow, but I thought the ending was quite clever and enjoyed the story on the whole :)

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Batool Hussain
14:45 Jul 06, 2020

Thanks

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Eve Naden
21:58 Jul 05, 2020

Great, twist ending and wonderful dialogue. Your descriptions are so immersive - I was transported by your words.

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Batool Hussain
04:33 Jul 06, 2020

Thank you so very much 🌼

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Elis I.
01:32 Jul 05, 2020

aaahhh it was but a dream... i absolutely loved this, especially the way you described the characters!

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Batool Hussain
05:24 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much. It means a lot!

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Jen Park
23:37 Jul 04, 2020

It kept my focus from beginning to the end! It was a pleasant read. Thank you for sharing it with us! The ending was quite unexpected. I loved the last "not again" because it nicely displayed the character of the protagonist. I think it also would have been nice if you wrote this in second person.

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Batool Hussain
05:25 Jul 05, 2020

I'm planning to write my next story in second person so it would be great if you give it a read:) Also thank you so much for reading and liking this story!

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Jen Park
07:44 Jul 05, 2020

Oh! I really look forward to it:) And thank you very much for sharing your story as well!

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Batool Hussain
14:00 Jul 05, 2020

I just posted it. If you don't mind, would you share your views on it?

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April Summers
18:22 Jul 04, 2020

I really liked this. It was fun and creative. I laughed when her mom splashed water on her and that she'd just been dreaming :)

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Batool Hussain
05:34 Jul 05, 2020

Thank you so much. It means a lot !

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Emma Lin
17:19 Jul 04, 2020

I wish that I had shift-shaping powers to avoid my chores and homework! Nice job with the story. The ending was unexpected. Thanks for liking my story! :)

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Batool Hussain
17:23 Jul 04, 2020

Thank you so much for liking the story. And you're welcome:)

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Emma Lin
17:35 Jul 04, 2020

:D

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Swati Sharma
08:31 Jul 04, 2020

wonderful story!

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Batool Hussain
08:44 Jul 04, 2020

Thanks

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Arya Preston
18:33 Jul 03, 2020

First of all, the beginning was beautifully described, I love the imagery with all the light and colour - it really helped paint the character and scene. I'm not sure if anyone pointed it out but I feel as though there are too many ellipses. I find that excessively using them could distract readers. I suggest when writing about hesitation or pauses to use action beats, that way it also builds the scene! Overall, I really enjoyed the story :D

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Batool Hussain
05:59 Jul 04, 2020

Thank you🌸

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Arya Preston
06:02 Jul 04, 2020

No problem! Could you please read my story if you get the time?

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Batool Hussain
07:00 Jul 04, 2020

Sure. If you don't mind I'll do that in a while.

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Jessie Nice
08:53 Jul 03, 2020

This is a very cute story. Her mum clearly knows her daughter too well ;)

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Batool Hussain
08:54 Jul 03, 2020

Aww, thank you so much:)

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07:17 Jul 03, 2020

Hi Batool! GREAT story! Your stories are really good! The ending was unexpected! Keep writing and have a great day Batool! :))))

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Batool Hussain
07:23 Jul 03, 2020

Thank you so much! Have a great day:)

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Angelina Valencia
16:44 Jul 02, 2020

Wow, i almost hate you for how you ended it :). Lol, I'm kidding, I really loved the story! You really have some true skills!

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Batool Hussain
16:46 Jul 02, 2020

I'm glad that you liked it! However, you worried me up a bit. Was the ending too obvious which made you not like it? Please give your true opinion. It'll be highly appreciated. Thanks:)

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Angelina Valencia
16:53 Jul 02, 2020

It wasn't obvious at all! I do like it! I actually love it! I was joking and its hard to sound sarcastic on here but that's what I was going for, I loved the way you ended it and it made the story even better how she was dreaming the entire time! You did a great job overall!

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Batool Hussain
16:56 Jul 02, 2020

Oh, thank you so much. So glad that you liked it!

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Jordan De La Garza
07:47 Jul 02, 2020

What a fun story! Who wouldn't do what Haya does with shape-shifting powers? One thing that I would love is if you could also describe the height and the weight of the people she transforms into, just to show how different their forms are. Or maybe something about how Haya starts to forget what she looks like. Your writing is light and fun, definitely a lovely read!

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Batool Hussain
08:12 Jul 02, 2020

Thanks for the feedback, Jordan!

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Jordan De La Garza
08:55 Jul 02, 2020

Please let me know what you think of my stories too! I'd love to hear your opinion ^_^

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Batool Hussain
11:19 Jul 02, 2020

Sure!

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