Mystery Suspense

My life is precious, everything about me is precious. My world, my job, my little computer. I enjoy them and I would rather nothing change. This is my time of peace, my joy, I love everything. The only problem is-

There it is? Did you hear it? Did you hear that little tick that threatens my life. I turn and there it is, I take a step forward but it is right ahead. I smile and it smiles right back, I sleep and it wakes me up. I need to get away, I need to run, I can’t let it catch me- I can’t. All my life it watches me, even on my greatest days I see it watching me like a thief. Even when I stop it moves on without me, leaving me behind.

I fasten my steps, but you're right ahead, so I turn around and your right there. What do you want from me? I haven’t done anything wrong, I just want to live my precious life, please stop chasing me! Please.

I turn down Monroe street and I bump into someone.

“Are you okay Miss? You look frightened.”

“Miss? My name is Aurora!” I yell, much to his surprise. “Sorry, there is someone chasing me-”

His eyes look past me into the darkness, then he meets my eyes.

“Someone?”

“Yes yes, someone …someone- no something” I respond grabbing his shoulder.

“I don’t really see anything.” he says. Of course he doesn’t, every time I try to tell someone about this, they have this look in their eye, they think I’m crazy.

“Ma’am-”

“Aurora!” I interrupt.

“Aurora, maybe I could walk you home if that will make you feel safer.” he says with worry in his eyes.

“No! I have already put you in enough risk, just get out of here! Run as fast as you can, don’t let it catch you, okay?!” I look around and rush away, I hear it, why won’t it stop.

I was twelve when it started, it was my birthday and I remember me being all smiley. I finally was growing older, I could finally go on the rides I wanted too, I could finally be taken seriously. I was growing older. But that was when it hit me; I was growing older. I finally sat up in my princess dress that was way to small for me now, I picked up my tiara and suddenly something caught my eye. Something irritated my ears, something sour on my tongue, goosebumps rippled over my skin. I could feel it on my body, it was disgusting.

I ran to find my parents and before I knew it I was 24, and they laid on their bed, tired. It still chased me, chased me everywhere, I couldn’t even breathe because I knew that was a count down. The count down to my death. I ran looking for my parents and before I knew it I was 36 and they were dead. They weren’t fast enough.

You took them, it took them. And it was going to take me too if I didn’t run. That man better be running too if he knows what’s best for him.

Did you know I was the fastest runner in 5th grade? I could run for miles without taking a break. At least that’s what my mother told me. But now look at me, gasping for air, back in pain, and sweat rolling down my forehead. Its already catching me. When did it drug me? I can’t even remember anymore. All I know is that I have to run, to keep running, I will not let it catch my precious life. I can’t even live my life but once I outrun this thing, I will live without concern. Give me ti-

No! I’m late for work! I run to the bathroom, my eyebags have become more visible. My eyes look dead and tired its a shell compared to my curious eyes in the past. Look at what I’m becoming, don’t worry I just need to outrun it. Then I can live in peace.

My roommate is sitting in the corner eating her cereal, everyday she looks more creeped out by me. She barely comes home and claims to be working 3 shifts a day. I know she wants to get out of this apartment as soon as possible, because of me? Its not my fault, its its fault. They don’t understand, I’m running for my life.

“Um you should probably eat, you don’t look so good.” she says slowly putting her full bowl of cereal back on the table.

“No, ti-ti-ti-” I stammer.

“Okay! Okay! Just go” she says with fear in her eyes.

“Okay.” I forgot what the quote said but I remember the ending “ – waits for no one”

I work every day, I love my job, mostly cause everyone leaves everyone alone. No one calls me weird and I’m good at what I do. But my job is- its filled with them. They are everywhere. Every room. Every corner. I can’t take it. I can’t.

I close my ears and my eyes in fear. The rooms fill with ‘Are you okay’. “No…I’m not just get them out of here and I’ll be fine.”

“Get what? What Aurora?”

“The- the things- they are everywhere please! Please get them out!” I point to the walls.

“Tim-?”

And just like that, I pass out, and when I wake up,

I’m 48.

Not enough-, not enough-, not enough-. I’m running out of-

I gasp in pain as I feel my head pound. The doctors are surrounding me and I look up at them. What is that on there wrist?

“You are sick.”

I am not.

“Stay here.”

No. I need to run! I need to run! You need to run! We all need to run!

“We can help you get better.”

No you can’t, they are here tooo!!!

I scream in what seems like forever and just like that…

I am 60.

…They haven’t let me leave. I always wondered how I got here all those years ago but now I realize it was my roommate. She wanted the apartment to herself and she was gonna get it sooner or later. It was only a matter of –

I cough. And blood releases from my lips. My body aches with pain, its unbearable. As – passes, it is catching me, tormenting me for all the times I ran away. I can no longer run with these shackles on my ankles. Or maybe I can? No. No I cannot.

The only thing left is… surrender. I must end this cycle once and for all. So I call out its name…

“ Ti–” I cough. “Please… please…”

A silver shiny metal appears in the air and I watch as the three hands move. Each hand moving at their own pace, one with immense speed, another calm, and a turtle. I reach out my hand,

“Ti- ti- Time. Please…” surrender. “Stop.”

Each hand stops with my word. They stop at the same spot- the same place where I began, where this chase began. 12.

My heart starts to beat slower, and for the first time in my life I feel free. My hand is filled with wrinkles, my body with running scars. My precious life. I never got to live, but to live means to be free. Why is it now that I understand the meaning, my whole life has gone to waste, the thing I wanted to protect is what I used as a shield. My precious life is destroyed, but at least I do not have to run anymore. At least I am free.

My hand touches the silver shiny metal which has completely stopped.

“If…I had known…it would be that easy…I would have said those words earlier. You caught me…it was only a matter of ti- ti- time.” I drop my hand and my heart disappears, with the pain and suffering. I can finally stop running, if only I had gotten to live after, I could have been happy on my death bed. But I guess it is true what they say-


Time waits for no one.


T I M E 🕛

Posted Nov 30, 2020
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71 likes 303 comments

14:59 Dec 04, 2020

I feel the need to comment on this story because it is so good!!!! You definitely deserve an upvote spree girl, 'cause you are one amazing writer. Keep writing...and keep a lookout for some more karma points!! This story is literally one of my favorite mysteries I have read on this site!!!

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17:15 Dec 04, 2020

Whaaaatt! Wow this just made me so happy, thank you so muchhh!
*I have a lot of thank you's to give out to you!*
And I'm happy you commented, I think this is the first time you commented on my stories, so thank you for that too! And also thank you for always being the first to like my stories- means alot to me!

Also! Would you like to be called Owly? Or Amber? Or Johanna?

Expect some points on your page too😉😉

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17:25 Dec 04, 2020

Aw thank you so so much!!! And personally, I don't care what you call me lol :)

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18:14 Dec 04, 2020

Alrighty!

Oh and I have upvoted you! I think you were on 1797 and now your 1835!!

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18:19 Dec 04, 2020

Wow! Thx so much! I will upvote you too in a few hours (swamped with work :(

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02:55 Dec 05, 2020

Of course! And its okay, take your time!

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ALINA Manha
21:53 Dec 01, 2020

Hi! Ugochi 👋🏻
The story is amazing.
It kept me hooked till the end.
The ending was tragic.
You have built this one really well. The structure and the flow of the story is really good.

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23:51 Dec 01, 2020

Thank you so much Alina!!
Can't wait to read some of your stories!

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ALINA Manha
01:17 Dec 02, 2020

My pleasure!
Thanks! 😁

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17:30 Dec 01, 2020

Omg, this is REALLY good. The suspence is perfect as well as the mystery aspect.
I 100% agree with Kylie, this deserves a win, it is so good and unique and unlike no other.

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18:27 Dec 01, 2020

Thank you Blair!!

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20:09 Dec 01, 2020

Of course! :)

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Radhika Diksha
02:59 Dec 01, 2020

I'm spelled by your story, Literally, I feel like I was running all the time. Yes, I fear time too. Your story was the most unique mystery story I have ever read.
I'm literally spellbound. All I can is an amazing story brilliant concept. even the title of the story is good. keep writing.

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03:28 Dec 01, 2020

Aw thank youu Radhika!!! That means alot!

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Radhika Diksha
05:27 Dec 01, 2020

And thankyou for mentioning my name in your bio.

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05:28 Dec 01, 2020

Of coursee!!😊

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Aubrey Maria ✌
20:21 Nov 30, 2020

The suspense at the beginning really pulled me along as a reader. I really appreciated how you incorporated 'time' (or even death) into your story. It's the one thing we all can understand -- it's something we all fear and regret.
It also really made me think. We're in a world of constant business, that sometimes, taking a moment to realize how important family and friends are. It's not always our 'career' but who we are and what we've done.

Bravo, Ugochi! I loved this.
Aubrey Maria ✌

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20:58 Nov 30, 2020

Thank youuu Aubrey!! I'm glad it made you sorta reflect on that!
Thank youuu!

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N. N.
15:42 Nov 30, 2020

Hello Ugochi,
First of all, happy 20th story!

Now, as for the story, it addresses a predominant theme of time: not the endless, vast lifetime people often refer to, but the inner fear, I think, most people have - running short of time. I love how the title, without giving away the main element of the story, portrays something which has a meaning of its own. (If one calculates as per clocks, 12 is the end of an hour, as well as the beginning of another hour. Perfectly symbolic of birth and death)
A few, quick edits I found:

"I take a step but it is right ahead..."
--> Did you perhaps mean, "I take a step back..." ?
"my heart disappears, with the pain and suffering."
--> "...along with the pain..."
"if only I got to live after, I would have been happy"
--> This sentence, is slightly confusing. Did you by chance mean that the narrator is wistful of a next life– of a life after death, where she could live more peacefully? If that is what you meant, I think the sentence could be phrased like, " if I get to live after, I could be happy"
--> And finally, there are one or two lines, that are slightly long, and hence, could use some punctuations.

These are just my personal opinions, feel free to ignore them if you'd like! Once again, a great story!
Keep writing!!

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16:06 Nov 30, 2020

Thank youu Neha!! And thank you for taking the time to critique. For the first critique i actually meant it like that as in "I take a step forward" not backward but I can try to rewrite if that is confusing!

The second to the last critique, thank youu cause I didn't know how to reword the sentence but I knew I messed up, so thank youu!
And i'll reread it for extra measure!

Thank you so much for this! Honestly!

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N. N.
18:03 Nov 30, 2020

No problem! And the edits look much better now, it solves the confusions! I'm so glad I could be of help.

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Kate Reynolds
13:45 Jan 11, 2021

Omg-
THIS WAS SO GOOD! I loved the mystery aspect of it! It was also quite sad thoughhhhhh
Great job!!! :D

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16:32 Jan 11, 2021

Thank youuu so much Kate!!!! Yeah it was pretty sad.

AhH! I wanted to read your stories first but you beat me to it!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Kate Reynolds
16:37 Jan 11, 2021

Npppp!!!!!!!!!

XDD It was wonderful! :D

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Maya -
01:35 Jan 05, 2021

I might do a story with friends on Reedsy, and I would like to put you in it, so what would you want your character's personalty/ physical description/ special skills/ spirit animal (if I do animals) to be? :)

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06:20 Jan 05, 2021

Ah me? I am deeply flattered🤧!!
Well for my personality- Sarcastically funny, brutally honest (like no filter), really caring and sweet!
Physical description - Um...hm...Long puffy hair! Medium height. Brown eyes, Normal normal. (tell me if you want more descriptions here!)

Special traits - Um can tell a liar, Can draw and cook. And can do archery at any distance!
Spirit animal - Owl!

I'm sorry, but do these match up to what you had in mind for your story? If you need any more please ask! AHH Thank you for even thinking of me for this!

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Maya -
12:38 Jan 05, 2021

Thanks so much! That's perfect! :)

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15:03 Jan 05, 2021

Oh okay!
Can't wait to readdd if you do it!!

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Maya -
15:04 Jan 05, 2021

I think I'll post it in a few days. :)

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Snow! How r u?
:D
U gotta read one day I’ll be there!
XD

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20:16 Dec 29, 2020

Hey Celeste! I'm great! How are you?
Haha I know! Alsooo thank you for always reading my bio!

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Sia S
10:23 Dec 25, 2020

Hey sis! Just upvoted you!! ughh but I couldn't get you a place up... ugh. Sup?

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17:59 Dec 25, 2020

Hey Sia!! Omg thank youuu! I will try to upvote you too! And its okay.
Heyy! How are ya!

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Sia S
18:25 Dec 25, 2020

No need, a Christmas gift ;). :) I'm good! You?

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01:59 Dec 26, 2020

Oh its nice to know your doing good! An improvement!
Yeah I'm doing good too.
How is Christmas going for you so far?

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Sia S
06:28 Dec 26, 2020

Yeah :) Good! I woke up at 12pm and had noodles for breakfast lol, sup with u?

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21:04 Dec 26, 2020

Wow, that actually sounds goood!
And on Christmas I slept at 2 in the night sooo...but Christmas in general was good!
How are youu, and why does your bio say your leaving for awhile🥺

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Nickname: Mist
..... weird nickname... ooff, your in my bio now, Thanks for putting me into yours!

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20:16 Dec 24, 2020

Its actually a really cool nickname! I think it fits you well!
Of course!! And thank you!

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Thanksss ssosoooooo muchhhhhhhh
;D🥰🥰🥰🥰

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Also ppl in ma fam are calling me phoniex now soo...

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06:37 Dec 25, 2020

Ouu Fancy! Is there a reason why?

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I like mythical creatures and my hair kinda looks like a Phoenix

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02:01 Dec 26, 2020

Ohhh now I am actually curious to see what your hair looks like, thats cool!

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OMG
Hi! I love the ending! So sad, true, and great!
Haven’t talk to u, u making a bio? I loved ur first one!

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02:17 Dec 17, 2020

Hey!! Thank you Celeste!
I haven't talked to you either, but I do remember reading one of your stories!
I am making a bio, I just haven't had the energy to make one yet. I deleted the other one I had it was starting to get boring. But soooooon I will!
Aw thank you!!

How are you?

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New story!
Include meee (XD I’m not a really good friend)
Goooood!

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23:45 Dec 17, 2020

I'll read it soon!
Maybbeeeee
And thats good that your good!
Also do you mind liking the story! I really wanna see it at 50!

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13:00 Dec 18, 2020

Thank youuu!

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✨Abby ✨
20:19 Dec 15, 2020

WOAH. This flowed sooo nicely. When I read it I thought FOR SURE it would win. I'm sosososososososososososos mad it didn't. it totally deserved it. This has got to be my favorite story on Reedsy so far.

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20:27 Dec 15, 2020

Aw thank you Abby! Yeah, I knew I wouldn't win or anything cause like you have to be 18 to win and stuff like that. Oh well, I'll take your praise instead!!
Wow, I am shocked, thanks!

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✨Abby ✨
21:20 Dec 15, 2020

Of course, again this is definitely my favorite story ever on Reedsy!

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✨Abby ✨
00:01 Dec 11, 2020

WOAH. I am speechless. This is so
Good. Possible one of the best stories I’ve read so far on Reedsy. You are truly talented. Keep
Up the amazing work!!

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00:17 Dec 11, 2020

Ahhhhh, thank you so much Abby!!!

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✨Abby ✨
00:20 Dec 11, 2020

Of course!
P.S. I’m just starting to readyour “indescribable like or love” series and omg I love already.

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06:24 Dec 11, 2020

Haha thank youu! I'm glad your enjoying that series, alot of people seem too.

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Radhika Diksha
18:02 Dec 09, 2020

Hey i just submitted a new story, would love your feedback on it.

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00:20 Dec 11, 2020

Sure!!

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05:16 Dec 13, 2020

Hey Radhika!! I have a lot of exams so I am taking a break, I will be back once exams are over so I'll read your story after. Is that okay?

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Radhika Diksha
06:25 Dec 13, 2020

Of course, there's no emergency. Best of luck with your exams, and so not take stress, eat and sleep properly. I know you are a well-talented girl and you will give your exams very nicely.

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19:40 Dec 13, 2020

Thank you Radhika! Thats so nice of you to say!

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Elaina Goodnough
04:06 Dec 07, 2020

This was amazing, and after just reading one of your stories from a few months ago, I can see your writing as evolved in a wonderful way. It was never worse, it just has gotten better. (If that makes ANY kind of sense!)

Great job, and I think this is one of the best stories on Reedsy. I don't follow a lot of people, but I think you may be one of them. AMAZING JOB!

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04:56 Dec 07, 2020

Aww thank you so much Rose! Ahh thats so sweet! Its nice to be on people follow lists! Especially when they barely follow much people! Thank youuu!

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Elaina Goodnough
15:24 Dec 07, 2020

Of course! Thank You for following me!

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04:04 Dec 05, 2020

Excuse me as I read this over and over for a good hour and a half.
Ugochiiiiiiii!!!!!! This was so gooooood!! How are you so good at writing mystery stories? I was hooked from the very start and was literally at the edge of my seat. It was amaaaaziiiing!!!!!

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05:48 Dec 05, 2020

Ahhh Luna! Thank you so much!!!
Maybe I should write more mystery now, well thank you so much for reading!!!

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13:18 Dec 05, 2020

Yes yes yes, please write more mystery!!!

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Amany Sayed
21:48 Dec 02, 2020

New story out if you're interested!
Warning-It's a bit odd.

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23:10 Dec 02, 2020

Yay! I'll go check it out!
Interesting🤔

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Orenda .
19:05 Dec 01, 2020

heya, i put up a link to a quiz thingy on my bio. Check it out whenever you want :D

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22:20 Dec 02, 2020

I checked it out, but I think I left off a few questions. SO here it is

Umm you are really funny and extra nice!! I don't think you should change a thing- your outburst of cursing are hilarious to me😂

Anndddd yeah I think thats the only one I left off.

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Orenda .
03:16 Dec 03, 2020

ohhh thank youuu

😂 that's hilarious indeed.

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05:25 Dec 13, 2020

Hey Orenda!! I have a lot of exams so I am taking a break! So I won't be able to get to your story till like later. Is that okay?

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Orenda .
05:48 Dec 13, 2020

Of course! Your exams are more important than my story. Best of luckk! :-)

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Sia S
03:27 Dec 01, 2020

W O N D E R F U L ! ! !

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03:31 Dec 01, 2020

Thank youuu Sia!!!!!

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Sia S
03:32 Dec 01, 2020

Welcomeeeeeee

Reply

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