I Am Completely Loyal to the Sea Goddess

Submitted into Contest #83 in response to: Write a fantasy story about water gods or spirits.... view prompt

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Fantasy Funny Teens & Young Adult

Saihaa: human boat

Aesaba: a young water spirit, about five or six. 

Sorsaa: no-swimmer, the Aeshaan word for human

Aeshaan: the water-spirit people

“Hurry up!” I called to Naia. She raced ahead, her non-solid form slicing through the waters with speed. I, too, was a water spirit, though, so I could follow her easily. My body was made of liquids, a shimmering blue kind of water that held my soul, and I manipulated the waves to reach the little spirit I had to babysit. 

“Lesai, I wanna see the Land!”

“You can’t, aesaba, little one. You’ve got to stay in the sea until you have seen ten summer storms!” 

“But that’s so many!” Naia complained, lifting her graceful head above the waters, leaving a trail like the Saihaa that the Sorsaa, no-swimmers, used to navigate the seas. I brought my full form out of the water, my oval-shaped head, my too-thin neck, my narrow, feminine body, my long, jointless arms and legs pushing me along as I “ran” on the surface of the waves. 

We water spirits are graceful beings, as beautiful as the sun sparkling on the horizon. For one thing, our soul inhabiting our water-bodies gives our transparent vessels a bright-blue shine, like the sky on a clear day, or, if you’re lucky, a pearly shine like the inside of a mother-of-pearl shell. Mine is a glorious, summer-day blue. Rare but not too flashy. It has a tiny trail of silver in it, even! That’s rarer. 

Second of all, we are adorable. Our eyes are large black orbs set in our larger, oval-shaped heads, and our tiny mouths are perpetually smiling. You may think of us looking like  salamanders or bunnies if you’ve never seen one of us before. I’ll permit it, since no Sorsaa catches a single glimpse of our cuteness without falling into the sea and drowning. We’re that cute. 

Also, we move elegantly through the waves like the demigoddesses we are. Yes, we’re all children of the Sea Goddess, may she reign forever. Well, some of us are demi-demigoddesses, but you get the idea. 

Fourth, we’re all female, and most Sorsaa appear to be male. They jump overboard and into our arms, but since their bodies are solid and ours are liquid, they go straight through us and drown. They’re called no-swimmers for a reason. I feel sorry for them sometimes, but it isn't my fault. I am completely loyal to the Sea Goddess, and she says we must never speak to the no-swimmers. 

Our arms can stretch and become flippers, hands, claws, anything made out of water. We can glide around below the surface or skate upon it like those “surf-ers” who come around here every now and then. They do it on wood, though. That’s cheating. We run on the water itself. 

Finally, we can sing like nothing else out there. It sounds like the crashing of waves and the calling of gulls and an eerie, whispered note we’ve known from birth that holds it all together. I don’t know that note, unfortunately. I've never been a good singer. 

“Gotcha, Naia!” I grab ahold of Naia’s long mane of water--oh yes, we have manes like female no-swimmers--and she lets out a whine, sinking underwater to pout.

“Want to practice your scales?” I ask her. She loves singing. 

“Ok! Let’s go back to the reef.” Naia turns around and swims toward her home. 

*****

I was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess, so I went to her meetings every night. She lived in a huge bubble, and looks like the most beautiful thing you could ever imagine, times a thousand and ten. I could not even describe her to you. 

The bubble is full to the brim tonight, loyal subjects crowding around within its walls. In the center is a high, bubbling fountain,an underwater jet from which the Sea Goddess answers our questions and reminds us of the rules and upcoming events when she feels poorly. Usually she will reveal her glory, but she does a lot of work and enjoys relaxing in her undersea volcano. 

WE WILL NOW BEGIN OUR TIME OF QUESTIONS.I WILL ANSWER YOUR PLEAS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE,” The Sea Goddess says from inside her fountain. They say she can see anything through a bubble, and with the amount of bubbles we create as we move through the underwater dome is enough to see every drop of my being. 

“Your great and powerful Queen of our Sea, I have a bit of a problem with my eggs. A Sorsaa keeps attempting to steal them, and they cannot hatch on the surface. Could your Great Majesty provide me with a solution?” 

A nervous, sea-green water spirit had begun speaking. I knew I would be there for a while before I could ask about my own problem:I was having trouble singing, me and six other girls I knew,a dn I was wondering if there was a way to find that whispered note of music that could blend our voices in harmony, or would we just have to work with what we had. 

*****

After many of the Sea Goddess’s subjects had left, she summoned me to the inside of her volcano. I was warm and fizzy inside, and I understood what she’d like being in there. She summoned me every now and then, since I was so loyal to her or something.

I felt the warm touch of her fingers through the bubbles (I couldn’t see her face among the hot jets of steam and fizz) and all my problems melted away. 

I was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess.

I was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess.

I was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess.

I was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess.

I was completely…

She said something to me, something as rich and warm as the sweetest beverage in the sea, (yes, we have beverages down here) and everything faded into warmth and perfection and loyalty. 

******

I was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess, but I wanted to do some swimming under the moon. She had permitted it, as long as we weren’t seen and didn’t talk to anyone. Moonlight was sacred, not to be sullied by words. 

I glided over the waves without making a ripple. The warm touch of the Sea Goddess lingered on my skin, or rather, in my water. The Sea Goddess. I was completely loyal to her. 

I swam through the water just by thinking about it. I was a water spirit, and was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess. She had graced me with her blessing, and I was loyal to her. 

I approached the shore of an island. I wasn’t supposed to go on them, but staying by the shire was permitted by the Sea Goddess, so long as we didn’t speak to anyone or touch the sand. Sand sullied our water, words sullied our moonlight. I was completely loyal to the Sea Goddess. She had graced me with her blessing, and I was loyal to her.

I “walked” in the water so that my ankles merged with the ripples lapping at the sand. Sand sullied the water, so I didn’t dare touch it. 

That was when I saw him. 

The Sorsaa.

The no-swimmer. 

It was a male--they all seemed to be male, if they were in the sea--the females stayed on land most of the time. He almost had a mane of hair like a female of his kind, longer than the fur most of the males wore on their heads. It was brown, like coconuts. His eyes were a darker brown, with white in the corners an black in the middle. He wore a strange garment of blue fibers, in two parts, one was for his top half and the other for his bottom. It looked fancy. Better than what most no-swimmers wore.

He stared at me for so long with his-three-colored eyes,and I knew better than to speak. Words sully moonlight. I am completely loyal to the Sea Goddess. 

Her stared for a whole minute.

Then, he reached towards my hand, shocked.

“....A… Alanna?” he asked me. 

“Who’s Alanna? I am Lesai. I am completely loyal to the Sea Goddess.”

“Alanna, it’s you, isn’t it? You got sucked in the whirlpool and I thought I’d never see you again.” 

“I’ve never seen you before. Words sully moonlight. Sand sullies water. I am completely loyal to the Sea Goddess.”

“Alanna… You’re a… whatever that is now, but you talk the same way, you do the same sideways smile, you stand the same way, even though you’re made of water. Ethan swore you drowned, but… but it’s you. You’re water,somehow, but it's you!”

“Who is Ethan? Words sully moonlight sand--”

“Look, Alanna, I heard it! I heard you. I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I have a feeling it’s you.”

“Alanna?” I asked. “I can’t be her. I am Lesai. I am completely loyal to the Sea Goddess. I have been a water spirit all my life, and you are clearly a no-swimmer. I can’tahve met you.”

“You talk just like Alanna. If you aren’t, I’m sorry, but… if you are Alanna… Vex and Koraline and Ethan and Blaze… we all miss you. We miss you so horribly. Corbin died, and his soul still misses you, I bet. Sana scried for you but only saw bubbles. We’ve been looking and I haven't given up hope. I’m sorry to disturb you… but if you are Alanna… come back.”

Alanna.

A whirlwind of memories tore through me like a typhoon. 

Sharp-eyed Koraline, gentle Corbin… Witty Ethan and Vex the cat-person… Blaze the kind warrior and Sana the clever sorceress…

And him.

Prince Alex. 

He had been my… 

boyfriend? 

“Alanna,” I said. “Alanna is my name.”

I looked at my hands. 

“Was I… like you?”

“Hold on, I have a potion that might help you. Archimedes said it would restore you to your true form if you drank it.”

I took the vial from his hand and poured it into my mouth. 

There was a flash of light, and....

*****

I looked down at myself. White skin. Brown mane. My reflection in the water showed blue-white-black eyes, kind of like Alex’s. 

And I remembered. 

I screamed and jumped into the water as I did, not just because I suddenly had memories of another life ringing in my head, but also because I remembered that humans disliked nudity. I was so cold! The water was like ice! Oh, I was a human! In love with Alex! He was a prince! I was an orphan, but I got adopted by a lord and lady! I HAD A LIFE BEFORE THIS ONE!

My memories of being a water spirit were only clear for the past few months. Did that mean they were fake? I remembered how many times I’d said I was loyal to the Sea Goddess. Had she brainwashed me into believing I was a water spirit?

My thoughts ran around in circles. I had lived two lives. But then...

I remembered… 

I remembered drowning.

I remembered my soul coming out of my waterlogged body, held in the hands of the most beautiful thing you could imagine. I remembered her making something, taking the water out of a nearby geyser,a dn inserting my soul into a new body… One summer-sky-blue with a few streaks of silver…

“I’m gonna barf!” I shouted. But I hadn't eaten--as a water spirit you didn’t ingest solids. All that came out was seawater. 

“That could be an aftereffect of…anything!” Alex said. “I’ll get you some food, you’re gonna need to eat--did you only eat salt water?” 

“Get me some clothes, please, also?” I asked him. 

This is actually a weird point of view of a character in the novel I'm trying to write. Yes, she does drown and get reborn as a water spirit. This doesn't come up in the book, Alex just returns to the boat with her and she explains what happened. This is also why Alanna is wearing Alex's clothes and he's in his undies in the book. Actually, I don't have to clarify since I haven't published it yet, but...

THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK :)

March 01, 2021 15:44

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36 comments

KED KED
19:54 May 03, 2021

How interesting! If this is part of a larger scale story, I'd be delighted to read it when its done! Elegantly written and such a compelling story line. I felt her innocently blind loyalty to The Sea Goddess and was like giiirrrlllll noooooooo. Wonderfully done! Thanks for sharing! :) Do you plan on adding more parts of the story on here??

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Amara Tillington
18:20 May 05, 2021

I'm not sure. I will write a full piece, eventually, and I think I'm calling it "Lost Souls: Vision". However, I don't think I'll be doing much more of it here, since all the writing I've done so far for it is fore the novel. Thanks for your support!

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KED KED
18:29 May 05, 2021

Ahh I see... Well, regardless, it was awesome! :)

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Amara Tillington
11:44 May 06, 2021

Write the name down, I think I'll publish it. In a year or two, maybe, but eventually.

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17:58 Mar 10, 2021

Great story!!! Do you think you can read mine? If you don't mind, could you please like my story and follow me? (You don't have to, but it would make my day!).

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17:58 Mar 10, 2021

Great story!!! Do you think you can read mine? If you don't mind, could you please like my story and follow me? (You don't have to, but it would make my day!).

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Amara Tillington
18:54 Mar 10, 2021

Okay!

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19:27 Mar 10, 2021

Thanks!

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Corbin Sage
17:05 Mar 01, 2021

This is great! You have incredible world-building skills, and you kept me hooked until the end of the story. A couple critiques: "Since I was so loyal to her or something" this didn't really fit in the flow of the story, so try saying something else. You could have it so that the main character asks her question about singing and the sea goddess tells her to stay after and then brainwashes her or cut that part of the sentence out completely. The "cute" explanation was a little off-putting, I think beautiful would be able to replace cute. "...

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Amara Tillington
22:05 Mar 01, 2021

Thank you! I will make the edits. I've never gotten such a long comment :)

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Creed .
18:47 Dec 29, 2021

Hello.

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12:44 May 06, 2021

This is wonderfully unique and has very vivid world-building. I could feel poor Alex's desperation and poor Alanna's compulsion came through very clearly without you needing to over-describe it. Great job. How are you getting on writing the rest of it?

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12:45 May 06, 2021

P.S. I love the phrase "Words sully moonlight. sand sullies water." I thought that was very evocative and poetic.

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Amara Tillington
10:25 May 07, 2021

Thank you! I love that phrase too! I did invent it, so I guess I have to. Better! Doing some stuff from Alex's point of view.

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Daniel R. Hayes
00:06 May 06, 2021

Hi Amara! This was incredibly creative. You created a very rich world that was so vivid I felt like I was there. I loved the humor here, and the very descriptive writing. The characters are fantastic. The first paragraph really is strong and set the pace for a wonderfully delightful story. For this to be your first story blows my mind! Great job on this! :)

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Amara Tillington
11:46 May 06, 2021

Thank you! You are a great writer too, and I appreciate the feedback!

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Daniel R. Hayes
14:57 May 06, 2021

Thanks, that means a lot :)

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17:38 May 04, 2021

was literally soooooo cool!, and the best detail? the fur/mane of humans and their three coloured eyes Lol! Happy Today!

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Amara Tillington
18:20 May 05, 2021

Thanks! Happy today to you too!

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hi yes may i offer you a liberty mutual ad? (jk)

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Amara Tillington
18:13 Apr 17, 2021

What are you doing?? Confused

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i think you had something llike "no liberty mutual ads" in your bio, i was being silly lol

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Amy Jayne Conley
10:22 Mar 20, 2021

Awesome story! :)

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Amara Tillington
21:00 Mar 20, 2021

:D

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17:59 Mar 10, 2021

Great story!!! Do you think you can read mine? If you don't mind, could you please like my story and follow me? (You don't have to, but it would make my day!).

Reply

Show 0 replies
17:59 Mar 10, 2021

Great story!!! Do you think you can read mine? If you don't mind, could you please like my story and follow me? (You don't have to, but it would make my day!).

Reply

Show 0 replies
17:59 Mar 10, 2021

Great story!!! Do you think you can read mine? If you don't mind, could you please like my story and follow me? (You don't have to, but it would make my day!).

Reply

Show 0 replies
17:58 Mar 10, 2021

Great story!!! Do you think you can read mine? If you don't mind, could you please like my story and follow me? (You don't have to, but it would make my day!).

Reply

Show 0 replies
17:58 Mar 10, 2021

Great story!!! Do you think you can read mine? If you don't mind, could you please like my story and follow me? (You don't have to, but it would make my day!).

Reply

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13:26 Mar 09, 2021

Congrats on submitting your first story, Amara! How are you liking reedsy so far? Amazing story! You did a great job describing the scenes, it was as though I was there myself. It's pretty cool, ooohhh, also that part when you described what water spirits were at the very beginning of the story, sometimes people get carried away with writing descriptions and they tend to be redundant among a bunch of other stuff, but you did it perfectly! Not too much, not to little, great job on that :)) Since I didn't fully read the names before the stor...

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Amara Tillington
00:43 Mar 10, 2021

Thank you so much! Longest comment ever! I'll fix those. :)

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01:16 Mar 10, 2021

No problem! :) lol your story gave me a good laugh, it was pretty fun to read :)

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Amara Tillington
18:54 Mar 10, 2021

Yeah, it was fun to write

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00:47 Mar 11, 2021

:))

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21:15 Mar 01, 2021

This is such a hooking story!! the world that you built throughout the story felt so realistic and it pulled me in to the story even more. this story blew me away and was an amazing first!! I cant wait to read more, Amara! Amazing job!

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Amara Tillington
22:06 Mar 01, 2021

Thanks!

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