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Funny

“Captain! It’s not real! We have to turn back, Smith will die!”

No one could hear his screams in the middle of the ocean. Peters, a pirate aboard the Soup Bowl ship, a ship, named so rightly because it’s captain made the best soup in all the land, was frantically trying to take the wheel away from his captain. Captain Rolli was an old man now, back in his day he had long brown hair and a long brown beard, beautiful pierced ears and tan skin, All the women wanted him, all the pirates wanted to be him. Looking at him now, you would think he was out of his mind. 

Captain Rolli turned to Peters and he shouted, with spit coming out of the sides of his mouth “I am the captain of this ship, you will not touch my wheel, I know it is there and no-one will stop me! Take your hands off of me or I will lock you in the cells! Believe me that!”

Peters stopped and sighed deeply before wiping his brow “You stupid old fool!” He says.

“You used to be a great man! Now look at you! You’re going to put your men in danger for something that’s not real!” He added furiously as the other men crouched in the back not wanting to be reprimanded for agreeing with him.

 Peters nodded to his fellow pirates as two of the biggest and strongest men take Rolli by the arms and pull him down to the lower deck, throwing him in a cell and locking the doors behind him. 

“It’s for your own good!” Shouted Peters as he takes control of the wheel.

 Hanji and Mario, the two strong men from earlier walk back up to Peters, awaiting their next orders, All they can hear is their Mad Captain screaming from beneath them. 

“We’re going home!” Cheered Peters and he steered to the Left, Towards Australia, Where a lot of these men once called home.

 The rest of the crew cheered before continuing to drink, yell at each other and whatever else they were doing. They continued on for three days and three nights, Captain Rolli had been sedated by the crew as best they could with whiskey, Marijuana and whatever else they had spare. He was crying to himself like he had been the whole time, about losing his precious treasure and how he was going to be the one to find it.

 “The Island Treasure...It was going to be mine” He cried to himself. 

“You don’t even know where it is you fool...All you had was an old map, torn up map, There’s not even a name for this Island” Peters spoke to himself while looking at this old map, He was now laying in his narrow bed trying to make any sense of any of this, The map was almost a dark brown colour with the amount of dirt and alcohol spills on it.

 The top of the map said ‘Island Island’ There was a detailed route to 4 ends of the Island where treasure was supposedly buried. “What a piece of garbage” He told Himself as he crunched up the map and tossed it in the garbage can. 

He awoke at 3 A.M on the dot as the ship swerving pushed him out of bed, he ran upstairs to the top deck and climbed his way to the Wheel. They found themselves in the middle of the worst storm they had ever seen, there was water everywhere, parts of their ship had started to chip away from hitting so many rocks, Peters pulled out his telescope and frantically searched for somewhere to dock, He saw a blurry outline of what looked like an entrance. 

“Someone wake up the old fool before he drowns down there!” He demanded; amongst the panic the crew had forgotten he was still locked down there. As the crew hurries to free their captain from his cell, Peters swerves the ship to the right to avoid a collision with a massive rock up ahead but the boat becomes unsteady and end up turning over, Peters gets hit with something, It’s unclear what by because of the flooding water. He awakes to find Himself being pulled onto some sand by Rolli. After rolling onto his hands and knees and having a coughing fit he stands up and hugs Rolli tightly. “You’re an old fool but I’m so glad you’re alive...” He whispered to him while breathing unsteadily, He falls back onto his knees. 

“An old fool aye?” Says Rolli with a big grin on his face, showing his missing front tooth.

 “Does that look like the sign of a fool to you?” He asked, pulling peters drowsy head to look at the sign to the right of them that read ‘Island Island’.

 “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?” He says to himself before quickly standing to the realisation that he could actually have been right. 

“S-s-so You mean we might actually find the treasure?” He asked darting his gaze back to the Captain. 

“Oh Captain! We’re gonna be rich!” Exclaimed Peters. 

“Yes we are” Said Rolly still grinning to himself as he hugged peters again before quickly letting going, peters face started to frown as he realised.

 “By that Of course I mean, I’m going to be rich” He says as he leans in to peters ear as his grin disappears “I mean have been high off my tits but I’ll never forget you putting me in the brig” He whispers. 

Peters laughed “Y-You’re joking right?” He asked, looking back at his arms which had been put into handcuffs. 

“Do I look like I’m joking?” He asked sarcastically as he smiled down at him, his face looked evil. “Now...” He paused for a second “Where is my map?” He demanded. Peters started to look flustered as he looked towards the ship “I...I-I Don’t know” He cried. 

“Well then” Says Rolli “It’s a good thing I have that map ingrained in my mind” He claimed pointing to his head. “Seeyou around Bucko” He finished as he walked away.

“You can’t leave me here! I know boats, I don’t know how to survive on a desert Island! He Screamed, Begging. 

“Should have thought about that before pal” He laughed as he continued to run away.

 The crew followed knowing he may be an old fool, but he knew how to survive an Island better than the young Mister Peters, Only one of the crew remained behind with peters, Sumori, He was only just 18, A bit simple to be honest but he was a good lad. He did everything Peters told him. He saved all he could from the ship, at Peters command. Not much could be salvaged, just some old army rations. 

Captain Rolli and his crew had managed to walk 6 Miles before it started to get dark, They all helped each other make beds and forage for food. By midnight then all had a cramped space to sleep, three oysters and a bundle of seaweed. As the majority of the crew stared on in disgust, Captain Rolli cracked them open and ate them without a second thought. Eventually the crew followed in suit before going to sleep. The captain fell asleep last but he gets to sleep eventually. He wakes to find Smith has unfortunately passed away, He covers him with a thin piece of old bark and closes his eyes for him, Visibly upset he looks around to find two other men had gone missing. Boutelli and Eriks. He clicked his tongue at the thought that his comrades have probably betrayed him. Nevertheless He grabs a sleeping Mr.Trey by the arm and wakes him up. 

“We Have to go! Or they’ll steal the treasure!” He says panicking. He pulls Trey up and looks for clues to their whereabouts, there is a trail leading to their right and to the left. 

At This he smiles the way a half crazy, drunk, exhausted old man would as he collects his things. “Idiots have gone the wrong way” He claims to himself. “We have to get movin’ son” He half laughs as he slightly skips in the direction, he believes true. It only Takes them ten hours but they come to a sudden stop.

 “Sir?” Asks Trey as he struggles to follow behind. Rolli takes 10 steps forwards, seeing something in the distance.

“Here...It’s Here! We found it!” He yells as he jumps around for joy. 

“But sir...They’re Dead” Trey cries at the sight of Boutelli and Eriks lying dead on the floor next to a huge burnt out hole in the ground. 

Captain Rolli Laughed “That’s what you get for betraying your Captain! I could have told them the treasure was boobie trapped!” He claimed loudly. 

“Sir...Are you sure you’re okay?” Trey asks.

“Oh...You think I’m crazy too do ya?!” He screams getting his face very close to Trey’s. 

“N-No sir, I believe you, f-forget i said anything” Says Trey.

“I reckon ye shall have to prove ye loyalty” Says Rolli.

“Dig in this ‘ere hole and retrieve our treasure” Rolli added demandingly.

“Y-yes sir” says Trey defeatidly.

After digging with his bare hands for 5 hours, he finally pulls a box over to the Captain who had now fallen asleep. ‘He barely looks alive’ Trey thought to himself before gently waking him up. Captain rolly grunts as he awakes but wake quickly he does after he sees what has been laid out in front of him. 

There’s that evil grin again “Open it” He says softly but demandingly. 

“Yes sir” He replies, exhausted as he uses a rock to break open the lock, he slowly starts to open the box. Not two seconds later Mr.Trey is on the floor with spikes through his head. Captain Rolli knew there was a second boobie trap, keeps the treasure all to himself.

Leaving his dead crew behind him, the crazy man drags the box back to shore, this takes him days but Rolli knows how to survive on a desert Island. He knew since the beginning, He would trick everyone and keep all the treasure for himself. He arrives to shore, colapsing into the sand he frantically looks around, clutching the box to his chest making sure no-one was around to steal his treasure from him like he had done to them. He can’t take much more, He passes out. 

He awakes, only able to open one eye with the sun shining so brightly into his face he slowly sits up. He hears the sound of an electric boat, He looks back to see Peters, He may look half dead but he’s alive, Rolli’s face collapses as the boat start to leave without him. 

“Nooooooo!!!” He screams, throwing sand everywhere as he realises he is alone and with no treasure. 

Peters, standing on the back of the boat, holding up the box and smirking as he road further from shore “Goodbye Captain Rolli...” He whispered to himself relieved, He sat down and took a deep breath, closing his eyes, preparing himself to open the box. He opens the box to find...Another box. Before he gets angry, takes another breath and presses the small green button on the left hand corner. ‘This is Captain Rolli of the Soup Ship Vessel, Please give the secret code to unlock’ He hears the voice activated message, stands up and throws the box as far as he can into the sea. 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck” He screams, loud enough for Rolli to hear as the crazy captain starts laughing hysterically. 

November 09, 2020 19:08

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2 comments

Prince Brempong
02:02 Nov 20, 2020

Excellent work done,I appreciate your effort. Hope this wins you a prize. Thank you.

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Nainika Gupta
21:07 Nov 18, 2020

I loved this story!!! It was super intriguing and you did an amazing job with the details that kept me captivated and glued to my screen all the way through!!! One thing I would maybe fix a little is the capitalization issues - you randomly capitalized some words here and there - but other than that, amazing job!!

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