Julien's City

Julien’s City

My best friend, Julien, used to say to me, “Be around people who make you happy to be yourself.” and I always would laugh, “I already have you, Jules, I don’t need anyone else.” Oh, how naive I was. How wrong I was, to believe he'd always be there. How stupid I was, to take our friendship for granted. Because the city will never be the same without him.

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“Hey, Jules?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think the number of people surpasses the amount of best friends there are in this world? I don’t think so,”

“I- What?”

“Like us, we’re best friends. I only have one, that’s you. You have two, Gale and I. So, between the two of us, that’s already three people. So, if there was a way to count everyone’s best friend or friends, there would be more best friends than people in the world,”

“How do you come up with absurd things like that, Ally?”

“My brain has a section labelled ‘Mystifying Things, Specifically Thought Up, To Puzzle Julien Erastís’. That’s how I think of these things,”

“Well, you do a great job puzzling me. Would you like to continue?” 

Julien and I are sitting under a large American sycamore tree, in the warm Spring weather. School just finished, and we’re hanging out in the park close to Julien’s house. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I can’t help but take a glance. I smile, it’s Abbey.

“Earth to Alanna Harper! Are you listening to me?”

“Huh? Sorry, I was checking my phone,”

“Who’s texting you?”

“Abbey,”

“Is she the mean one?”

“No, she’s not. She’s the one who went to our primary school, and then she moved to Canada,”

“Oh, her. I didn’t like her very much,”

“Don’t be so rude, Jules! Besides, I like her. She has the same taste in music and likes the same genre of books as me. Unlike someone, I know,”

“Pop music is so repetitive! That’s a fact, you just pretend you don’t believe it,”

“That’s not true, you doofus!” I poke Jules in the side, and he laughs. 

“You’re lying to yourself, Ally,” He smirks, a flirtatious grin on his face, the only grin, might I add, that’s ever on his face. He runs a hand through his jet black hair, and I stop myself from staring.

“Checking me out, Harper?”

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Julian,”

“Well, you have to admit, I am good looking,”

“In. Your. Dreams. Loverboy,”

“My dreams are my reality!” He exclaims, standing up, and takes my hands, pulling me up.

“Anything without a plan is just a wish, Jules,”

“Hey! You can’t steal my quotes!”

“I can, and I just did,”

“Plagiarism! Where is the police? Arrest this mad woman! She’s taking credit for words that are not her own, she is a criminal!” Julien takes my arms and puts them behind my back.

“What seems to be the issue, young man?” Jules continues but in a deep voice.

“Oh, officer!” His normal voice returns, “This woman is guilty of stealing!” I giggle, as Julien tickles my side.

“What did she steal?”

“Oh my, officer, she stole my words. Ally thinks she can get away with copyright, but she can’t!”

“Young man, you’re not making any sense,” Julien pulls me closer to him,

“She stole my heart, officer!” He howls, and I laugh, trying to step on his toes, but he dodges.

“I did not! Release me this instance!”

“Absolutely not, this woman is a threat to society!” Julien continues in that low tone, and he pretends to attach handcuffs to me.

“There, you villain! Cease your scandalous acts, and plead for mercy!” I drop to my knees.

“I’m sorry! I beg for forgiveness! Tell my mother I love her!” Julien tries to continue the act, but he bursts into laughter.

“Okay, okay. You’re forgiven,” Jules cries out.

“Are we still best friends?” He hesitates, pretending to think.

“Hmm, I’m not sure. Give me ten weeks to think about it. You will receive your answer soon,”

“Okay, we’re still best friends,” I conclude, and he winks at me. Julien quickly looks at his watch,

“I have to go. Cricket training is in fifteen minutes,”

“Okie dokie, have fun!” Jules gives me a mock salute,

“This is Officer Julien, signing out!”

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At home, there’s an eerie silence that fills the entire house. It’s not unfamiliar, though. My parents are still working, and it’s not my day to babysit Jules’ younger sister, Beth. There’s a part of me that’s disappointed, Julien is living his life, while I’m sitting on my bed, in my flared jeans and an old t-shirt. I sigh and lie down on my bed, wondering what productive activity I could be doing. I could start that History assignment, or I could write my English essay, but I don’t, because my head is too full of distractions. Suddenly, my phone buzzes, it’s from Jules.

Jules: Hey, can we talk? It’s important.

Me: Of course

Me: What is it?

Jules: I’ll call you.

My phone rings and I pick up straight away.

“Jules, what’s wrong? Aren’t you at cricket training?”

“M-My mum called me, and it’s my dad. He’s sent her the divorce papers,” He chokes out, his voice strained.

“Oh my God, are you okay? Can I come over?”

“Please, Ally. Please, come.” He whispers,

“Okay, stay with me, Jules. Don’t hang up, are you still at the oval?” There’s a loud thump from his end of the phone. “Julien?” There’s another thump. I lock the front door and run towards the sports oval. “Julien, answer me. You’re scaring me,”

“He can’t do this to us, to me!” He screams through the phone, and I bite my lip, trying to stop the tears from flooding. I can’t bear it when he’s in pain.

“I’m coming, Jules, I’m coming,” My voice wavers for a second, as I race to the back of the cricket clubhouse, to the change rooms. “I’m here, come outside, Jules.” He hangs up, and the changing room door bursts open. My best friend’s face is stained with tears, and his eyes are red.

“Oh, Jules,” He hugs me tightly,

“He can’t, Ally. He can’t.”

“God, I know, Jules. He shouldn’t, it’s not fair on you,” Julien doesn’t say anything for a moment.

“She warned me,” He says softly, after a while.

“Who did?” I ask as we sit on the ground, not caring about the rest of the world.

“My mum. She told me if Dad left, we would have to leave the city,” I gape at him, 

“No, you wouldn’t. The city won’t be the same without you!”

“I know, I tried to persuade her! It’s like they’re both turning on me!” His voice raises an octave, before lowering back down. “I don’t want to leave,” He whispers, looking at me. “Don’t let her make me leave, Ally.” He pleads brokenly, and I look away.

“It’s not my choice, Jules. I want you to stay, but it’s not up to me,”

“Help me convince her!” He yells, the tears pouring down his face. “I don’t want to go, Alanna. I don’t!” And my heart breaks all over again.

“What can I do, Jules? I’m powerless,”

“God, I can’t do this anymore,” Julien says abruptly, and stands up, walking away.

“Jules? Jules! Where are you going?” He doesn’t answer me, just continues to walk further away from me.

“Don’t leave me, Julien! You can’t do that to me!” I shout, running after him.

“There’s nothing we can do, Alanna! I’m going to move away. I’m going to leave behind this city, and that means you as well. I’m not going to get even closer to you when we know I’ll leave in the end,”

“No, no, no,” Now I’m the one pleading. “It doesn’t have to be that way! You’re not leaving tomorrow, or in two days. These things take time, Julien. That means we still have time. Okay?” He doesn’t utter a word.

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My mum is the first one to speak about the Erastís situation that night.

“His excuse is that he no longer loves Lara,” My mum scoffs, “Lara did nothing wrong, she should be the one filing the divorce. Julien and Beth haven’t seen their father in weeks,”

“I don’t understand why she still loves him,” My dad adds, and I slam my fists on the table.

“Can we not talk about this?!” I get up from my seat and storm away from the dining table.

“I didn’t know she’d be this sensitive,” I hear my dad whisper to my mum.

“Oh, come on, Richard. Julien’s her best friend, they’re leaving the city-” I slam my bedroom door shut, cutting out the rest of their conversation. I sit at my desk, drafting my letter to Jules, even though he hasn’t been picking up his phone.

“Lana, please come back to dinner,” My mother opens my bedroom door, but I continue to scribble on the piece of paper in front of me. “They won’t be leaving for another month. You don’t have to worry, you still have time,”

“Tell that to Jules, not me. I already told him that, but he refuses to listen,”

“Sweetheart, I know it’s going to be tough on you, but think about it from Jules’ shoes. It must be so much worse for him,”

“I know. I think… I think I love him, Mum. I don’t want him to leave,” My mum chuckles lightly, despite the situation.

“Lara and I’ve known you have for years, Alanna,” She holds her arms out, and I rush over to hug her.

“Can’t you convince Lara to stay?”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s not up to me if they stay or go. Whatever the outcome is, we have to accept it, and be supportive, alright?” I nod tearfully. When my mum says they’re leaving, it feels so much more real.

“It’s too sudden,” I sob, “Why do they have to leave? Why can’t Tobias leave instead?!”

“Because Lara still loves him,” My mother soothes, “She wouldn’t be able to live with him, left alone in the same city. She would still bump into him at work, at social events, and in general. I don’t think her heart would be able to take it, just like yours can’t bear to acknowledge that Jules is leaving,”

“I wish he wasn’t. I wish none of them had to go. It’s so selfish of me, Mum, but I-” I falter, my mind still not ready to comprehend it.

“I know, baby girl, I know. I’m sorry it has to be this way, I know Lara is too.”

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“Time is nearly up, Alanna, and you still haven’t talked to Julien. What is going on?” My mother asks, ambushing me before I run off to school; it’s Jules’ last day.

“I told you, he won’t speak to me,”

“And when has that stopped you? You visited him once, even when he a cold, and you said it was worth it, even after you got sick,”

“That was different! He told me he doesn’t want to speak to me because he’s leaving,” My mother crosses her arms together.

“If you don’t say anything before they leave, I’m calling Lara.”

“Okay, okay! I’m going to school now.” I’ve always loved going to school, but now that it’s Julien’s last day, I’ve never dreaded going to school more. I try to approach him during the day, but he's constantly surrounded by his friends, classmates and teachers saying farewell. ‘If they can say goodbye, I should be able to as well.’ I think to myself as I watch Jules say goodbye to his other best friend, Gale. I look away, clutching the letter in my fist. I'll give it to him tonight when he leaves. 

🝮🝮🝮🝮

“Alanna, go say goodbye,” My parents push me towards Julien, who’s talking to Beth. They’re moving to the next suburb and will be living with Lara’s parents for the time being.

“Hey, Jules, can I talk to you for a second?” I begin and Beth nudges her brother, before leaving us alone.

“I-”

“You-” We both say at the same time, and we smile lightly.

“You can go first,” He tells me, and I hand him the letter.

“Don’t read it now but… I’m sorry I didn’t help you more, Jules. I’m going to miss you. I- The rest is in the letter,” He hugs me tightly.

“No, I’m sorry for shutting you out, you did nothing wrong, Ally. I love you, and I’m going to miss you,”

“Are you guys gonna kiss?!” Beth shouts from further away, and Jules sighs.

“Shut up, Beth!”

“You didn’t answer the question, Jules!”

“I-” Laughing, I step closer to Julien, and he takes my hand, kissing me.

“You’ll come back soon, right?” I ask, and he nods.

“I promise. We’re only an hour and a half away, Mum will miss yours, we’ll be back.”

“Keeping you on that promise.”

Dearest Julien,

I realise now, that I was never in love with anyone but you. Maybe it’s because you’re about to leave that I figured it all out. Don’t go, Jules. It’s so selfish of me, asking you to stay when you’re not even moving by choice. I’m going to miss your funny acting, your smile, our conversations, and our hugs. Being hugged by you is like being kept close, wrapped in a warm blanket, and you don’t want to let go. Is that how best friends should feel? I don’t think so. I don’t think we’re even best friends, Julien. We’re so much more than that. I’ve realised, we never know how bad something hurts, until it keeps us up at night, wishing we knew the answer to questions we did not know we had. Does that make sense? I hope it does. 

I feel like a part of me has already gone missing, and you haven’t left yet. Tomorrow, that’s when you’ll be gone. I once heard in a song, “They say distance makes the heart grow fonder and it’s true, but this many miles apart will break it right in two.” What does that say about us? I know you’ll miss me, but how much? You’re practically starting a new life, Jules, without me. Even though YOU promised, our lives would be intertwined forever. I guess forever isn’t really ‘for - ever’. I’m crying while I’m writing this, it’s like I’m pouring out the chapter of my life I never read aloud. Does that make you feel special, Officer? I hope it does.

My heart will always bleed for you, Julien Erastís. I wish you wouldn’t leave me, we were supposed to have more time. I told you life wasn’t fair, but did you listen? No. Maybe you will now. You know I hate being soppy, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get over this. It’s like… a breakup from a relationship that wasn’t real. The shine in your eyes, and the sweetness of your smile, are the things I’m not going to see for a long time. God, I’m being so dramatic. Sorry. Come home to me soon, Loverboy. I love you, Julien.

Lots of love, sparkles, wishes on shooting stars and stolen quotes.

Your best friend

Ally Harper ♡