80 comments

Suspense

I DID IT!!!! I MADE ALL 5 STORIES FOR ALL 5 PROMPTS!!!! ENJOY!!!!! THIS IS DEDICATED TO CELESTE AND UGOCHI N. CHECK THEM OUT!!!!!

I didn't know. I swear I didn't know. You believe me, don't you? You don't even know what I did yet, how could you? You're innocent. Not privy to the horrible knowledge that I am. I'm writing this to you because I have done a horrible thing. Please don't tell anyone what I've done. Please don't make me hurt you in return.

You won't think me evil, no, not after you've heard it. The whole story. Not to forgive me, that would make you evil, wouldn't it? Well, here's how it happened.

I was walking down the street, you know the one, Mercury, over downtown. As I had passed Jessica's boutique, I heard a scream. It wasn't a male scream, mind you, it was shrill. Now, you see, I had been drinking. In fact, a bottle of whiskey had been hanging out of my hand. It wasn't my fault that I didn't call for help first, I was drunk! You can't blame me for something I did or didn't do when I was a drunk!

When no one else came, I thought Eh, I'll check it out. I staggered forward, holding my shoes as if they were knives.

"Who's there! Eh! Why'd ya scream?" I threw my shoes, not caring about who it hit. I was a drunk, remember. Don't blame me for any of this. I heard a grunt, and then a flop. The vertigo of the whiskey had started to wear off, and I slumped forward. There was a body on the ground.

Now, don't take me as a bystander, or anything like that. Just because I walked away doesn't make me a bad person. I didn't kill her, I don't think, something else had. Maybe I did, but the important thing to remember is that I was drunk.

Yes, I suppose I could tell someone. No, I'm not going to.

Whatdya mean 'Why not?' They could indict me!! I'm not going to go to jail for the rest of my life! Here, let me explain why I'm not going to. Remember, we're focusing on the one thing that I did wrong.

I don't want to go to jail because I have a child. Yeah, that's right. She's five years old, and I can't love her more than I already am. She is the sweetest little thing in the whole world.

Yeah, I know that seems kind of selfish, but I don't care. Sometimes I have to be selfish, to advocate self-interest. That's not unhealthy but logical.

No. I'm not going to show them the body either. Then they'd wonder where I found it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go along with my day now.

Ugh, If you're going to follow me then be quiet.

______________ 3rd Person POV_________________

Jack Wenegal walked out of his little house, still conflicting internally with another unknown being. No one knew who he was talking to, and they didn't care to find out. They had problems of their own.

He moped around, trying his very hardest not to look suspicious. Among a world of swindlers and impostors, it didn't make him look even more so.

"Hello, Mr. Wenegal!" Mrs. Celeste yelled across the streets, her hand outstretched and watering some pansies. Mrs. Celeste was trying to be nice to him. Always had, actually, no matter what mood he was in. The truth was that she took pity upon him.

"Hey." Jack kept walking, only giving a mere moment of acknowledgment to his kind neighbor.

He trudged along and within moments arrived at a liquor store. The clerk, Ugochi Parkinson, wasn't happy to see him. In fact, it appalled her.

"How can a person drink so much and still have the audacity to come back again for more? I bet I've had to sell more bottles of liquor to him than in the past two years before he started coming!" It appalled Ugochi because she knew what Jack had done. Ugochi had learned quite a many things as a liquor vendor, secrets that slipped from the mouths of drunks. Mr. Wenegal's own secret wasn't even the worst that she'd heard in this place. In fact, not even close. Ugochi understood why Jack didn't want to tell anyone. That was why she hadn't.

Jack ordered five bottles of rum and hid them in his torn, baggy jacket. It was the type of jacket that had seen too much, done too much. It was an exhausted jacket. Of course, that's what it'd tell you if it could talk.

Jack's guilt weighed down on him like a heavyweight wrestler piggyback-riding him. He couldn't move, couldn't think unless it was in moderation. After all, he was carrying a secret, and secrets could be especially heavy.

"Stop it. Stop talking to me like that. I don't want to tell them. I DON'T WANT TO TELL THEM!" Jack realized that he'd yelled that last part. No one paid any mind, though. They never did. No one cared what Jack did as long as he wasn't bothering them.

In his mind, Jack whirled back and forth. His thoughts could've filled fifteen blackboards by then. What killed that poor lady? Who was she? he wondered in suspicious trains of thought. Jack, though he was unaware of it, had hitched himself to one of those trains, and he wouldn't be letting go anytime soon.

He found himself, as if by magic, wandering back to that alley, the scream still fresh in his head. Sooner or later, Jack was there, standing next to the woman, his hands shaking.

Jack turned her over, trying to keep his hands clean. He soon realized he didn't need to, for there was no blood. That was odd, there was blood there when he first found it. He reached for her purse, never taking his eyes off of the woman herself, and he glimpsed her ID. It said MRS. PRIVATE REDACTED. Well, you're dead, so I can assume that all this REDACTED stuff is over and done with. He reached deeper, ruffling around a bit, and pulled out a long stick. It was glowing. No, it wasn't a stick. It was a wand.

December 03, 2020 19:55

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

80 comments

. .
19:57 Dec 03, 2020

ENJOY MY FIFTH STORY OF THE CONTEST!!! LIKE IF YOU THINK I SHOULD WIN ON ONE OF MY SUBMISSIONS FOR THIS WEEK!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
✰ Jennie ✰
22:57 Dec 04, 2020

noice noice noice! I've binge-read all of your stories up to date and I think they are ALL AMAZING!!! keep it up! and why the cliffhanger may I ask?

Reply

. .
23:48 Dec 04, 2020

Thanks! I'm going to make a part two!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
. .
15:26 Dec 06, 2020

PLEASE POST A STORY JENNIE!!!!! I WANT TO READ YOURS!!!!

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
15:32 Dec 06, 2020

I'm working on the, "write about two people who own rival bakeries and fall in love" and it's coming along rather dramatic... it's nowhere near as good as yours so you won't enjoy it anyway lol

Reply

. .
15:33 Dec 06, 2020

Yay!!! I'll read it!!! I love DRAMA!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
. .
18:14 Dec 06, 2020

Do you like my new prof pic!!?!?!?! Also pls get the story outtttttttttt!!

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
18:24 Dec 06, 2020

noooo i liked the blackpink prof pic better. jk, the Queen of MYSTERY!!!

Reply

. .
18:27 Dec 06, 2020

That was Mamamoo, not blackpink. But yeah, #AGATHACHRISTIESUPERFANS!!!

Reply

Show 1 reply
. .
19:21 Dec 06, 2020

Hey, also, you asked for tips, so here I am with writing tips: For Mystery/suspense: RED HERRINGS ARE KEY!!! They are the most important thing you can use, to distract the reader and make them forget about pieces of evidence, to lead them down false trails. Always plan out the full mystery before writing, so that you can have an idea of what it is. Don't use flashy language, just normal language that's readable. Have a body or the tragedy early in the story. For Fantasy: You should explore different genres of fantasy to know about...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Mira Caplan
14:40 Dec 07, 2020

I ALSO LOVE K POP

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
Show 1 reply
Mira Caplan
14:40 Dec 07, 2020

Sorry for barging in...YAAAYYYY!!!! I can't wait to read it!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Nainika Gupta
20:19 Dec 03, 2020

Can't wait for part 2!!! This was great!!! I loved the ending - so suspenseful :D Also, I applaud you for writing for each prompt!! I need to start doing that loll.

Reply

. .
20:20 Dec 03, 2020

Thanks so much!! I really wanted to do it since I came so close and I loved these prompts!! Tell me when you post a new one!!!

Reply

Nainika Gupta
20:22 Dec 03, 2020

Such dedication 🤣 I wish I was like that with my hw loll. And yea!!! I totally will :D

Reply

. .
20:22 Dec 03, 2020

Lol, Homework be tough

Reply

Nainika Gupta
20:23 Dec 03, 2020

Ugh you have nooooo idea - especially cause I'm remote too - that's even WORSE

Reply

. .
20:24 Dec 03, 2020

Lol me tooooooooooooooooo....... ........................... ..........................

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Mira Caplan
20:09 Dec 03, 2020

......You did it!!! Five stories in a week!!! I really like how you branch out to different types of stories, if that makes any sense. That last sentence, though... Wow.

Reply

. .
20:12 Dec 03, 2020

Thanks!!!! I’m gonna make a part two

Reply

Mira Caplan
20:35 Dec 03, 2020

Yesss!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
ALINA Manha
17:13 Dec 17, 2020

Wow! This story was really good. I didn't understand it at first but then when I understood it I really liked. Great job! Luke.

Reply

. .
19:22 Dec 17, 2020

Thanks!!! Looking forward to reading some of your stories!!!

Reply

ALINA Manha
01:20 Dec 18, 2020

You're welcome! Aawww, Thank you! Your stories are wonderful! I am really amazed.

Reply

. .
12:33 Dec 18, 2020

Thanks so much!!!!! Yours are toooooo

Reply

ALINA Manha
15:55 Dec 19, 2020

My pleasure! Thanks! ☺️

Reply

. .
15:56 Dec 19, 2020

:D

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
A. S.
18:10 Dec 04, 2020

Dang! All five stories! Great job; I really loved the ending. And the description of the jacket was awesome, I felt like I knew it in a way. All of the descriptions were great. Good job. (I posted a new story and it you could read through it, that would be great)

Reply

. .
18:12 Dec 04, 2020

Thanks so much! You're too kind, of course I'll read yours!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Oooo... I love how kind u made meeeee Next contest main character is:Lukkke!111

Reply

. .
01:27 Dec 04, 2020

Yay!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

"It was the type of jacket that had seen too much, done too much. It was an exhausted jacket." I love this description! Congrats on doing all five prompts!

Reply

. .
22:34 Dec 03, 2020

Thanks so much!!!

Reply

Could you do a continuation???????? :)

Reply

. .
19:22 Jan 03, 2021

Urgh, fine.

Reply

It says part 1, so people are probably waiting.

Reply

. .
19:25 Jan 03, 2021

Lol I knowwwww I just tired.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

The end with the wand... (pardon me) *INCOHERENT SCREAMING* Was amazing.

Reply

. .
19:22 Jan 03, 2021

Lol thanks so much that. was. my. EXACT. REACTION. WHEN. I. WROTE. IT.

Reply

. .
19:23 Jan 03, 2021

Lol :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

Reply

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! :)

Reply

. .
19:26 Jan 03, 2021

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
. .
19:25 Jan 03, 2021

Lol :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Jasey Lovegood
01:28 Dec 29, 2020

I am in awe. How did you manage to write a story for every single prompt for that week?!?! I bow down to your superiority and talent. Wonderful work as always, and I loved the ending. :)

Reply

. .
12:36 Dec 29, 2020

Ha lol a lot of peeps say that. If you do it once a day, you have 3 days of rest. Thx so much tho!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
03:15 Dec 06, 2020

Thats it,🚶‍♀️I'm famous. Ahhh! This is the first time I have been added in a story- well at least! Thank you Luke! I really enjoyed this story! It was really mysterious and then even turned more crazy at the end! It was nice! Its crazy how you had ideas for all 5 of the prompts! Like thats crazy! Great job!!!!

Reply

. .
13:32 Dec 06, 2020

:D Yeah you're famous!! Yeah I so happy that I finished them all!! Thanks!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Orenda .
17:22 Dec 04, 2020

I love the unique concept. There's this voice in your head; your conscience perhaps that wants to tell the truth yet is the character just can't that. Intriguing. I'm waiting for the sequel :D hate to burst your bubble, but you have to be 18 or older to win. I don't know if you're qualified, but that's a requirement. That doesn't mean your stories aren't worth winning, though :-)

Reply

. .
17:47 Dec 04, 2020

Thanks so much!! Yeah, lol, I can't win. Wah. Thanks tho!!!!

Reply

Orenda .
18:03 Dec 04, 2020

you're welcome! You still write great, okay?

Reply

. .
18:08 Dec 04, 2020

Yeah!! Thanks so much!!

Reply

Orenda .
18:11 Dec 04, 2020

of course!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
✰ Jennie ✰
22:58 Dec 04, 2020

waittt you have to be 18 or older? nooooo

Reply

Orenda .
05:07 Dec 05, 2020

yess. But don't worry, just write and wait. Also, winning isn't compulsory, is it?

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
23:02 Dec 05, 2020

good point! only 6 years left. I can wait patiently and improve my writing.

Reply

Orenda .
06:49 Dec 06, 2020

exactly my point! :-))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Avery G.
20:24 Dec 03, 2020

NO WAY!!!! FIVE STORIES?!?! AWESOME!!!!! YOU DID IT!!!! Part two, please!!!! This was so good!!! I loved the ending; so suspenseful!! Your stories are amazing!! Great job!

Reply

. .
20:25 Dec 03, 2020

Lol Thank you so much!! You're such a good friend!! I really wanted to do all five one time, and I think I did some great stories this contest. Thanks so much!!! (Your stories are awesome too)

Reply

Avery G.
21:55 Dec 03, 2020

You're welcome!!! Aww, you're a good friend, too!!! Yess, you did some amazing stories!!!! Thanks!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.