“Rina, when will you ask?”
“Uh, ask what, Cynthia?” I asked dreamily.
“For Ry-”
“Don’t mention his name!” I hissed, getting up from my position with my face on my hands and elbows on the table. I lunged forward and smacked my hand over Cynthia’s mouth.
“Mrf?” Cynthia’s voice was muffled as she spoke. “Feffe mo!” I translated that to: What? Lemme go! I slowly allowed my hand to drop to my side, as if I were talking to a giant and dangerous animal. “Why can’t I say, ‘The Name?’' Cynthia asked after taking a sharp inhale of breath.
“Because he is right there!” I exclaimed in a hushed whisper. “If you say his name, he’s gonna look our way and-”
“He’s looking at us right now.” Cynthia blurted. I whipped around and sure enough, there was Ryan with his group of friends, sitting on the grass, bit far away, but we could still hear them. Not close enough to pick out the words. Ryan picked up his hand, and waved. I waved back, and then immediately melted. I melted. I dropped to the floor, shaking all over. Feeling queasy. My heart grew wings and fluttered in my chest.
“Rina, are you okay? Holly Jolly Ranchers!” Cynthia dropped to my side and secured me. “What’s wrong?”
“H...He waved…I…Back…” I stammered. I meant to say: He waved back, and I waved back. But it all came out stuttered. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.” I spoke quickly. “I waved back!” I got over my shock and jumped up, and squealed. The “Eeeeee!” Kind of squeal. I fanned my face with my hands. A few people casted weird looks at me.
“Did ya eat a hot peppa?” A girl worriedly asked as she walked by. “Those thing are the worst.”
“I did not eat a pig,” I retorted.
“She means pepper.” Cynthia corrected. I felt myself turn red.
“Right, er, sorry.” I apologized, and the girl smiled and accepted my apology before running off.
“Back to what we were talking about; when will you ask him out?” Cynthia inquired. Man, she was really pushing it.
“Never,” I replied simply. “I will never ask.”
“Never?!” Cynthia exclaimed. “How come? I doubt you can just sit here all day and stare at him.” I sighed.
“It’s not easy, Cynth. Plus, do girls even ask boys out?”
“Uh, duh! You know Trisha?”
“Uh-huh,” I replied.
“She asked Aaron out, and now they’re a happy couple.” Cynthia explained. I huff.
“Lucky her.” I throw out my lunch tray and headed up to Mrs. K’s classroom. Cynthia hastily finishes her chocolate milk and dunks it in the trash can, too.
“Wait! Are you mad at me?” Cynthia pants-she is really not athletic. I glance behind my shoulder to spot Ryan talking with his friends, not looking at me. Perhaps he was looking at me but when he saw me turn he-
“Rina? Earth to Rina?” Cynthia waved her hand in front of my face. “Rina? You alive there?” I grin.
“Yeah, you just interupted my day dream. What if Ryan was looking at me but when I looked at him he turned away?” That thought sounded much better inside my head. Cynthia shrugged as we entered the school building.
“Lunch is ending in two minutes, we’d better hurry if we wanna get there on time.” Cynthia reminded me, checking her apple watch. Just another reminder that Cynthia was rich. We assended the steps-two at a time and ran to Mrs. K’s classroom. The bell rang just before we opened the door.
“Tik tok, ladies.” Mrs. K clicked her tongue. “Your late.” As if that couldn’t be more obvious, old lady. Mrs. K is old, she has gray hair pulled into a tight bun. She wears glasses that have those bead sort of things hanging off. Mrs. K was wearing a black button-up shirt with jeans, and a high-heel-ish shoe-it had that same click and that same thing under your heel, it was just more lower. Mrs. K is old-but at least her style can be a bit more...Pop-ish. You’d understand. Mrs. K is strict, too. Just you wait for it.
“I want a 5-paaragraph essay about why you were late.” Mrs. K suddenly spoke-it was very quick. “And it must be done by the end of tomorrow!” Cynthia and I griminced. Strict, am I right? Mrs. K’s class is about Social Studies-boring.
The phone rang, and Mrs. K was there in a flash. “Hello?” At that moment, two boys began whispering to each other. The boys were so intact with their whispering, they didn’t notice Mrs. K drop the phone and click, click, click walk in her high-heely shoes to them.
“Silence!” Mrs. K barked, slamming down her long ruler she always carried around. The two boys quieted. “Honestly, Steven, wherever I move you, your always talking!”
“That’s because you always move me next to my friends!” Steven blurted. He covered his mouth with his hands right away. Mrs. K’s and Steven’s eyes both widend. Steven’s eyes grew big because he was in fear, Mrs. K’s eyes were wide because a student had never talked to her like that.
“Middle-Schoolers like you should know better.” Mrs. K coldy said. “Detention for you, Mr. Peng for two months.” Mrs. K whipped around and walked back to the classroom, her back straight like a ruler. I hate social studies.
***
I was now in collage. I’m still crushing on Ryan. For 6 years, I like him-and I still do. But now, he’s in my back of my head. I have more things to worry about, like tests for example. My pet bird, Trio, was part of my family. The collage I went to allowed pets-only birds and cats. No dogs, though. Dogs get slobber everywhere, did I mention they’re loud? Cynthia and I have the same dorm-just the two of us, Trio, and Pie. Oh, Cynthia got a bird too, her name is Pie. Pie is a creamy color, and the tips of her wings are yellow. Trio is quite colorful-from her head to her neck it’s yellow, from her neck to the stomach it’s a light green, and from the stomach to the tip of the tail it’s light blue.
“I’m gonna go out on a walk with Trio,” I called to Cynthia as I walked out the door, Trio perched on my shoulder. Cynthia nodded, not even raising her head from her computer-Cynthia loves to study. She’s asian, so that explains most of it.
I whistled, and Trio whistled back. I was strolling around fine, heading towards nowhere in particular. Trio sang “The London Bridge Is Falling Down,” while I listened. Then something made me stop on my tracks. I hushed Trio.
Silence.
Then…
“Yo! Your m’man, Harry!” The familar voice greeted me. My blood turned cold as I stood rooted to the spot. I took a deep, shaky breath and peered around the corner. There he was. There he was. Oh my jumpin’ socks. There he was. Perfect as ever. Standing there, his brown hair messy, and his green eyes shining.
There was Ryan.
I uttered a startled gasp and Ryan heard me. He looked at me and waved.
“Hey, you okay?” He asked, coming over. “The color in your face…” My jaw gapped so wide it hit the floor.
“R-ryan?” I stuttered.
“Pardon?”
“Ryan?” I repeated, more confident.
“Uh-yes? Do I know you?”
“Y-yes...It’s me...Rina Haryson.” I quietly whispered. Ryan stood there, thinking. His nose scrunched up a bit.
“Nope, sorry Rina. I don’t remember you.”
“I-I want to ask you something…” I contuinued as if Ryan hadn’t spoken.
“Yes?”
“W-would you like to go out on a date with me?”
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72 comments
First, I like this story. I can tell it's taken somewhat from real life, so I like that you do that. It makes writing more meaningful. Next, your dialogue is good. Finally, I have several critiques that can help you get better, so I'll just dive right in. “Right, er, sorry.” I apologized, and the girl smiled and accepted my apology before running off. --> "Right, er, sorry," I said. The girl smiled and ran off. "Tik tok ladies." --> "Tick tock, ladies." The "Strict, am I right?" is unnecessary. "I’m still crushing on Ryan. For 6 years...
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Ahhhhh, okayyy, thank you so muchhh!
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☆
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NEW STORY (for you :DDDD)
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Thankk youuuuu <3333
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<33333333333333333333
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<333333333333333333333333333333333
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<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333...
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Ooh wow this is amazing amazing amazing! This is literally the best! I really loved everything in this story.
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Thank you so much! Your stories are amazing too!
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I am in love with your writing style!! :)
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Thx but urs is wayyy better!!! :D
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Noooo, you are an amazing person with a unique talent! :)
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Nooo, youuuu! <3
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Aww, thank you so much!
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I loved this story! The scene with Mrs. K is quite hilarious because of how "strict" she is. I also loved the beginning, where Rina was really flustered because of Ryan. Just a couple of spelling errors: "Mrs. K clicked her tounge." Preeeeeeetty sure that's supposed to be "tongue". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's "tongue". "Mrs. K is old-but atleast her style can be a bit more...Pop-ish." Isn't it "at least"? Other than that, this story was great. AnD yOu JuSt HaD tO eNd WiThOuT rYaN's ReSpOnSe, DiDn'T yOu?! Great job!!! :))
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YeSh OfC i DiD hAvE tO UwU-rYaN's ReSpOnSe WiLl ReMaIn A mYsTeRy ThX fOr Ur FeEd BaC i'M cOrReCtInG iT rIgHt NaOo :D
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gReAtTtTt I cAn OnLy ImAgInE wHaT hApPeNsS!!! aNd YoUr WeLcOmE!!!! tHx FoR cOrReCtInG! (iT's FuN wRiTiNg LiKe ThIs, NgL)
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YeShHhH <3333
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😁😁😁
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YES!! I wanted a story to indulge in like this story! Your descriptions are so deep and rich, I can't even take my eyes off the page! I don't want to be a pain or a hassle, but can you please upvote me? It's totally fine if you can't or don't want to, I understand. Other than that, your story is awesome!
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Okay-you don't have to act like it's a million dollars I'ma give to you, it's simple. Sure, I'll upvote you after I finish eating!
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Thank you so much!
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Sure! If you have time, may you upvoting this person? https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/writer-maniac/
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Sure!
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Thank you!
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☆☆☆
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OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY *searches for b-day emoji* 🎉🎉🎉
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Tankkk uuu sooo muchhhh <333 *lol*
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yessss<3333
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:DDD
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☆
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YaYyY! Also cute doggogoo 🥰
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:DDD Thank you!! :))
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☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ Here gurl :P
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Or.... guy
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lol
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☆ Oh and also, NOOO UR BIO ISNT PATHETIC! It’s honestly sooo aesthetically pleasing and creative lol
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Noooo urs is so muhc more colorfull & cuterrrrrrr
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U mean mine is currently a mess 😂 But ty!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂
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Thankkk uuuuu <333
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np!
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:D
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did you do/are you gonna do anything special for your b-day? :D
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Ahh nah, we celebrated it on Sunday 'cuz Tuesday's a school day.
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HAPPY B-DAY FRIENDDDDDDDDD
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Tankkk uuuuu <3
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Ofc! <3333333333333333
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☆
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・:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+
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Lmaooo I love this story! It was humorous and hilarious all the way through, the way you've written it is amazing...Lol like Anabelle mentioned, why'd you have to leave us with a cliffhanger?!??! hehhehehehehe alsooo ALSO: “Did ya eat a hot peppa?” A girl worriedly asked as she walked by. “Those thing are the worst.” “I did not eat a pig,” I retorted. Lol it's funny, I was smiling like an idiot reading this :) Great job!
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Heheehehehehehehehe its fun writing cliffhangers :D *whispers* ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵐᵉ I smile stupidly whenever im reading anyones storiessss! Your stories are so much better-thoughhhhh Thankkssssssss but praise urself more tooo
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Lol, I've been reading too much of cliffhangers lately.. And let me tell you, they always catch me off guard! :((( lol, but your story, it's great! Whattt? No, yours is! :D your welcommeee :)))
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:D
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I decided to check a few of your stories out, and I have to say that I loved this one a lot ^^ I don't really have a lot to say, but I will give this one a 10/10 :) I'll try to check out the rest of your stories soon.
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Thank you so muchhh!
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no problem ^^
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☆ Sorry I'm late: Happy Birthday!
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Thanks <3
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=)
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Happy early birthday!! 🎉 🎊 🎈
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Yesss! Thank youuu <333
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Welcome! I hope you have a great day!
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Mhm! Thx, you too <3
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