79 comments

General

Authors note: This is just the first story , I'm hoping to work in a sequel with next week's prompts :) Here goes:


And so, she lay there, with the hot water bottle upon her stomach and an icepack strapped to her forehead, contemplating the meaning of life and asking herself all kinds of philosophic questions she didn’t know the answers too.

Do the teachers notice when the chalk squeaks on the blackboard, or don’t they and is that why they just keep on writing like their students aren’t being cringed to death behind them?

Why can’t any real-life guy just be like pretty much any fictional ones? Is it really that hard?

Does everyone at some point in their life just wake up in the morning and start craving something or other so bad that it felt like they were going to pass out with the extremity of ‘’want’’? Or is that just me?

That day was actually the perfect day for pondering things like these. Rays of sunlight streamed through the cracks in the wooden walls of the age-old treehouse, built by the previous owners of fourteen-year-old Trisha Walker’s new home sweet home. The treehouse was by far her favourite feature of their new address, that and the fantastically overgrown backyard, the latter of which was crowded with immense trees and unkempt flowerbeds.                                         

She spent every free second there, pretending to be tracking down an undiscovered species, or narrating the lives of the unique insects she discovered there.


Trisha was different than other kids her age, and she knew it.

They gossiped about the teacher’s personal lives because half of their parents were educators, while she had her nose in a book.

They moaned and complained about how fat they were, while she wrote stories about confident protagonists.

They laughed about jokes shared on Whatsapp and tore celebrities apart because of their tiktoks, while she made a point of the fact that she didn’t own a cell phone.

Not that they ever listened, though, Trisha thought, adjusting her position so that her head was resting more on the crimson pillow she’d snatched from her mom’s pristine living room than on the hard wood the treehouse walls were made of, and also so the bright sun wouldn’t shine in her pale eyes anymore.

‘’Why can’t I fly?,’’ she said aloud, to no one in particular, really. She talked to herself often, which is probably something you’d expect from the average fourteen-year-old who narrates insects’ lives. And believes that she should be able to fly.

But that afternoon, someone actually heard her musing aloud, a rare occasion that’s never, ever occurred in the whole of two weeks that she’d been living there. Unless you count that unfortunate instance when the old lady next door happened to come over to borrow a cup of sugar whilst Trisha was narrating the particularly gruesome death scene of a ladybug about to be devoured by an arachnid.

They don’t discuss it in the Walker-household.

This time the visitor wasn’t the old lady (thank goodness for that) but rather one of the boys from school, Darren Barlow. He wasn’t there because he was interested in her; he didn't even know her. Yet.

He was there because he lived across the road to them, and because his parents, who were very sociable and loved to have everyone know how just exactly rich they were, wanted to meet their new neighbours .They had been away to Dubai the past month ,and only just heard about the Walkers.

Whilst his parents moved to the living room with Trisha's , he wandered out to the backyard, where he was soon lost amongst the thick overgrowth of weeds and other, possibly undiscovered, vegetation.

Suddenly Darren heard someone say ‘’Why can’t I fly?’ in a voice that sounded a lot like the sweet milky tea his grandma often drank .Sweet milky tea doesn’t really sound like anything , but nonetheless , that’s what the voice reminded him of.

‘’Why can’t you what?,’’ he loudly questioned the oak tree , which is where he assumed the sound was coming from.

Suddenly the leaves above rustled and shook, and a bushy brown something popped out from between them. The bushy brown something had a freckled face but was too high up for Darren to make out any other details.

‘’What are you doing here?,’’ Trisha exclaimed from her treehouse, baffled at this boy who had just, as if by magic, turned up in her backyard. She wondered where he came from. Had he fallen from the sky?

She was confused but wasn’t going to miss this chance; there was someone talking to her, in her backyard, someone who was, or at least seemed to be, interested in her. No one was ever really interested in her.

‘’Hello!,’’ She called to him from the treehouse, racking her brain for a way of inviting him over, without sounding completely bonkers.She decided that a direct manner would work the best. ‘’I said, what are you doing in my backyard? Do you want to come – aww shoot…watch out!’’

Her icepack had suddenly slipped from her forehead and, despite the numerous bandages she’d spent to keep it in place, was now plummeting towards the ground, and Darren, at breakneck speed.

But sky – boy, as she had taken to calling him in her mind, dodged and caught it expertly, much to Trisha’s surprise. So, he had supreme hand -eye coordination. Very much unlike herself.

‘’Sorry!,’’ she called down to him, her face crimson.’’ I meant to say, would you like to come up? The view’s awesome from here. Also,’’ she pulled out the gingerbread cookies she’d been saving for later and waved them at him,’’ I have snacks.’’

Darren couldn’t quite make out what she (at least he thought it was a girl) was waving at him, but the mere promise of snacks was enough to make his stomach growl.

Just because you're rich doesn’t mean you can’t skip lunch every now and then.

He scanned his surroundings, but his search for a ladder was in vain.

‘’Uh.. how do I get up?,’’ Darren asked. ’’Do you have a ladder or something?’’

‘’A ladder?,’ ’Trisha exclaimed indignantly.’’ Why on earth would I need a ladder? Can’t you climb?’’

Darren flushed bright vermilion, and gazed down at his shoes, suddenly extremely interested in them. Of course, he could climb, he just thought …never mind.

He started up the tree, utterly focused on not slipping and humiliating himself in front of this creature again.

‘’Wrong one,’’ Trisha called from the right tree, in which she was seated. So much for not humiliating himself.

After much struggle, he finally made it up. Trisha eyed him carefully. Definitely what you’d expect from someone who’d just fallen from the sky. Short blond hair, blue eyes, winter-kissed face.

Except now his face wasn’t very much winter-kissed, it was redder and more flushed from the effort he’d put into climbing up.

‘’Your treasure, brave sky warrior,’’ Trisha teased, presenting him with half the carton of cookies. Darren couldn’t quite tell whether she was joking or not, she had that sort of air about her. But he took his ‘’treasure’, before she changed her mind. Can’t exactly refuse a gift.

‘’Uh, Thanks, uhm… Fair maiden,’’ he praised her hesitantly. She pulled a face, clearly not impressed.

‘’ Don’t ever call me a maiden,’ she told him, dragging a notebook from beneath her crimson cushion.’ ’I am a dragon, and I shall eat whole next time you do.’’ With that she bit ferociously into the gingerbread. ’Would you really like to suffer the same fate as this unfortunate citizen?’’

He nearly choked on his own unfortunate citizen. This girl was unbelievable.

 They started talking and then talked and talked some more.They just never run out of things to say.

She made him feel like he was important, like it wouldn't matter if he was a polka dotted elephant in a jumpsuit; like she’d still care about what he had to say.

When he asked why she had the icepack and water bottle, she told him that it was all about achieving perfect balance.

‘’But aren’t you already perfectly balanced, without adding anything?,’’ he asked, confused as to why she’d go the extra mile, but she just told him he didn’t understand and started up a pillow fight.

The stars were already twinkling above by the time his parents found him and Trisha in the overgrown garden, as they were narrating two butterflies who whirled around each other like a cat and a laser. You know, like when you point a laser at something, and the cat goes bezerk about it. Yeah,like that.

Darren Barlow left number 6 Cherry lane with a happy feeling in his stomach, the kind you get whenever you feel that life just…likes you. He finally met someone who actually, genuinely accepted him for who he was, someone who didn’t mind that he was.. suddenly he realised that he hadn’t even asked her name.

She hadn’t asked his name either.

But that didn’t matter. School would start the day after next, and people talk.

They talk about guys like him and girls like her.

July 14, 2020 11:34

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

79 comments

20:20 Nov 18, 2020

Hey I just wanted to say that, the song on your bio is so awesome! Thank you for introducing a new song bout to listen to this on repeat!! Also I'll read this story later kay!!

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
05:59 Nov 19, 2020

ikr?? It's so underrated. Thanks for acually checking it out :))))))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
B. W.
13:02 Sep 09, 2020

Hey this is a really good story and you did a good job with it ^^ i think you should make some more stories on here since you've only made 1. so guess what? this story gets a 10/10 :)

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
16:31 Sep 09, 2020

10 out of 10? YAAAYYY! I really want to do more, but we've been writing exams and doing assignments and I can't promise a story for another two weeks. Maybe if it's a really good prompt and I don't have to spend too much time on it, then yeah. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE SCHOOLYEAR TO END THEN I'LL HAVE TIME TO SUBMIT STORIES TO MY HEARTS CONTENT. But for now my schoolwork is top priority, more than ever because: every year, the exact same kid has been #1 in the top 10, and now he's head boy as well ( not complaining he's a good friend of mine and...

Reply

B. W.
16:46 Sep 09, 2020

Its alright i like long comments and yep a 10/10 ^^ i was also wondering if you could check out some of my stories like "Useless" and "Bonding?" and give me some feedback? if you have the time

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
04:54 Sep 10, 2020

Sure, I'd love to! It might take some time but I promise to get to it!

Reply

B. W.
12:45 Sep 10, 2020

thanks, i understand just take your time ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
A. S.
02:15 Aug 05, 2020

Good job! I really loved your main character and how you brought her to life. The youthful innocence of the story really pulls you in. I get the sense that you are a young author... I am too. Would you be willing to read my story “On The Edge” and let me know what you think?

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
05:54 Aug 05, 2020

Sure!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Raquel Rodriguez
19:22 Aug 03, 2020

Great job! I have a few tips though, just to help you. #1: You shouldn't include author's notes, as judges don't seem to like them. Put whatever you have to say in the comments or something. #2: 'Darren flushed bright vermilion, and gazed down at his shoes, suddenly extremely interested in them. Of course, he could climb, he just thought …never mind.' Honestly, I don't think you have to specify the color, you could just say 'red' or 'scarlet.' I mean, it's your choice, but I think it would be easier. The 'never mind' par...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Konrad Le Roux
18:41 Jul 22, 2020

Dear Mila A thundering smasher of an atmosphere build-up. Beautifully painted with depth of feeling and a lovely hint of youthful humour. Oupa Kon

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
12:47 Jul 23, 2020

😉😉😎😎💖💖😊

Reply

Show 0 replies
Mila Van Niekerk
13:10 Feb 19, 2021

Hey Oupa! Ek dink Oupa moet n paar hier stories skryf! Ek dink dit sal vir Oupa lekker wees

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies

nice! you have good talent. but your my sister so im gonna say its not that good. (-;

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
06:11 Sep 24, 2020

Gee, thanks a bunch sis!! Also don't be negative, I don't want Reedsy to become as full of drama as you are. So just mind your own business and let me watch ATLA in peace :) PS: to everyone else: WE ARE SIBLINGS PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

Reply

Scarlet Witch ✨
16:36 Nov 30, 2020

LOL! XD Me, My sister and two of my friends have Reedsy accounts too. And this how me and my sister talk to each other (sometimes though) I'm not a fan of Maze Runner, But I love Harry Potter, MHA & A:TLAB too! (I also love you're profile pic of Tsu)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Gip Roberts
20:11 Sep 17, 2020

This one made me feel like I was in a different time period even though the mention of "tik tok" and cell phones was in it. I like both of these characters, and I laughed at all of Trisha's interesting little quirks.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Khizra Aslam
19:07 Sep 17, 2020

Loved your story. Keep writing❤

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
04:15 Sep 18, 2020

Thanks!😊😊

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Pamela Abwao
02:05 Sep 17, 2020

Interesting I liked the way you personified chalk Looks like it's going romantic Good job

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
04:14 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you!😊

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Karin Venables
15:00 Sep 16, 2020

I enjoyed this story. The wonderful feeling of finding someone who "gets" you. I'm looking at life from the OLD point of view so I'll put a different slant on some of my comments. I've been writing for decades, but only got really serious about it in the last two years. Keep writing. I'm looking forward to more of your stories. I started on Reedsy with the same prompt as you. An afternoon in a tree house.

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
17:03 Sep 16, 2020

Thanks! I'll be sure to check your story out!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
14:23 Sep 16, 2020

Well done on you're first story! My favorite book series is Fablehaven and its sister series Dragonwatch by Brandon Mull. Oddly enough, I'm not a big fan of any of his other work.... I wold recommend you check these out if you like fantasy. The worldbuilding, plot progression, and detailed characters were huge inspiration to me and a delight to read. (I wish that Reedsy offered the ability to chat with people outside of the comments for stories, I really want to get in touch with other writers!)

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
17:05 Sep 16, 2020

Thanks! I think I'll check it out! yeah, wish i could talk to people other than comments. I've made a few friends on Reedsy already and want to talk to them more. But this blog already has so many fabulous things about it!

Reply

15:18 Sep 17, 2020

Yeah! This is basically the closest thing I have to social media, and still all my attempts of communicating aren't that great.... But you're right, this place is pretty awesome

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
16:21 Sep 17, 2020

Yeah. I have ZERO social media accounts whatsoever; except Reedsy. But i JUST MIGHT maybe ish start a youtube channel next year, as well as a tiktok account. Oh well. At least comment threads give points!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ujjwal Dutta
11:32 Sep 16, 2020

I enjoyed reading your story. keep on writing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Niveeidha Palani
06:07 Sep 10, 2020

Hey M!love? (I'm not sure if that's your name, so sorry, if I said it wrong.) So, hey, I read your bio, and you said something about having trouble to change your profile picture? Here, let me help you. 1. You go to your account settings by clicking on that top arrow near your name. 2. And then, you go yo your profile picture and change it! It's simple, and let me know if you still can't change it. ;)

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
07:50 Sep 10, 2020

Thanks, it worked 😊😊 Also don't worry about the name, the exclamation mark is supposed to be an ''i''. And I do plan on changing the name

Reply

Niveeidha Palani
09:12 Sep 10, 2020

I saw! Cool profile picture! Ah, I see it now, oops, I'm sorry!!! :) Looking forward to your stories,

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
10:39 Sep 10, 2020

Thanks! What are you sorry for????

Reply

Niveeidha Palani
00:52 Sep 11, 2020

Hmmm, oh wow, I don't even know what I was sorry for! 😋😂

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
04:37 Sep 11, 2020

😂

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
00:52 Sep 10, 2020

Lovely story. Congrats on your first story. You did a really great job

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
04:57 Sep 10, 2020

Thank you!😊😊

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Shikha ♫ ♪
12:57 Sep 09, 2020

Sorry, I didn't read this story because I'm little busy. I'll surely come back for it. But I read your bio. Your favourite book is Maze Runner?!?!! Oh, I love those books. You are probably first person I have met here on reedsy, who have read those books. P.S. Thanks for following me!!

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
16:20 Sep 09, 2020

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO ALSO READS THEM? You said you know about Maze Runner?( and the others? If you like maze runner, you'll LOVE Gone. If you thought the maze was hectic bruh you've seen nothing yet.)Who's your favourite? I can't get over Newt and Minho. I used to love Teresa, but towards the end I hated her more and more. _ milove

Reply

Shikha ♫ ♪
16:35 Sep 09, 2020

Maze runner is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! I'll surely read Gone now. My favourite is NEWT!!! I almost cried on page 250. I wanted to tear it apart but I can't because I was reading ebook (lol). #2 is Minho and #3 is Chuck. Teresa comes maybe on #4 she is not that bad but I never really liked her. James Dashner literally killed all the nice people.... except Minho. Ohhh, It's so exciting to find someone from the same fandom!!!! Have you read the prequel books??

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
04:53 Sep 10, 2020

YYYAAAAAASSSSSS NEWT!!!!!!! 🤩🤩💕💕I HATED Jaames Dashner for killing him; and I was reading in class when Chuck died😭😭😭😭 I dunno about Teresa. She was my favourite at a time, but then it got complicated, and she asked Tommy to forgive her but continued betraying and confusing him.... and I really like Thomas and I didn't like her doing that to him. THANK GOODNESS Minho still lives!! 🤩🤩 I haven't read the prequels yet but I do plan on it, as soon as the library opens up. You know, at the start of lockdown I was terrified. I reckoned it wou...

Reply

Shikha ♫ ♪
11:58 Sep 13, 2020

(I'm sorry it took me so long to reply back. This comment kinda got lost.) Yeahhh, James Dashner should be given some kind of awards for killing the most people in literature's history. And you know in book 4(it's a prequel) he literally killed every single person in the book(including the MC) except a little girl named Deedee who was immune to the flare. And I almost started crying when I found out what happened to that little girl. I won't tell you if you haven't read it yet. Teresa was a complicated character, I never really underst...

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
13:23 Sep 13, 2020

Okiedokie; so everyone dies in book 4? I'll try not to get too attached.😕 Yeah, Teresa is just.... mnnemsumnmeewe 🤷🏽‍♀️ HEHE Minho. I love him so much!! Have you seen the movies?? The guy who plays Newt is also Ferb from Phineas and Ferb!!! I assume it's anime; I'm not great with naming things. But heres a link to images of the characters: https://www.google.com/search?q=all+tdp+characters&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwii7cvWnObrAhVCXRUIHdlCBc0Q_AUoAXoECCEQAw&biw=2133&bih=1076#imgrc=P6u8onD-Th686M&imgdii=2X1etyZ3EhqypM No, I ...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Scarlet Witch ✨
16:40 Nov 30, 2020

My friend loves Newt, Felicity Pathis check her out!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
19:20 Jul 20, 2020

I really enjoyed reading your story with all the beautiful descriptive words that really make the scenes and characters come to life... Great job Mila, keep it up!

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
13:08 Jul 22, 2020

😊Thanks

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
M J
15:45 Jul 18, 2020

This is a really good first submission! I liked the part about "unfortunate citizens," it was really funny! Keep up the good work.

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
11:24 Jul 19, 2020

Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Deborah Angevin
07:14 Jul 17, 2020

'Does everyone at some point in their life just wake up in the morning and start craving something or other so bad that it felt like they were going to pass out with the extremity of ‘’want’’? Or is that just me?' I can totally relate to this OMG :o

Reply

Mila Van Niekerk
12:21 Jul 17, 2020

I know, RIGHT??

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply