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Adventure Fantasy Funny

Felix always found it hilarious how blood tasted of copper.

He swallowed down the bitter taste of it, gagging a little inside after doing so. His lip was no doubt a plump mess right about then, as if one of those Kylie Jenner lip kits had gone wrong. The dagger, dull and rusted, was still flailing around in his hand, for some reason.

Who in their right mind would have the mentality to hand over a dagger, to a sixteen year old?

The limited edition sneakers he had spent all his pocket money on stroke the pavement with devastating force -he had no doubt that they were creased beyond repair by then. Felix didn't quite know why he was running as if he was being chased by the fastest, deadliest animal in the world, and he blamed Desi for that.

"I don't think I like you very much." Felix shouted ahead, panting and huffing and fuming all at the same time as they raced through narrow alleyways and the empty, open streets.

"I disagree." Desi said, a few steps ahead of Felix and somehow managing to run in extremely platformed platform boots -her brown leather coat rippling behind her like Supergirl's cape.

Except Felix actually liked Supergirl.

"I cut my lip thanks to you." Felix said.

"And I now have half an eyebrow because of you. An eye for an eye and all should be forgiven."

Desi narrowly avoided a large crowbar that launched her way from the back and it thrusted through a trash bin like a kebab.

"See? Clearly, I am the bigger target." She said over her shoulder as she took a sharp right and Felix followed.

"If you're the only person they're targeting, why the hell am I running away from them too?"

"You're the one who wanted to live a life of adventure. I'm simply granting you that wish." Desi halted in her midst and with a quick spin of her heel she turned. Felix would've bumped into her very ungracefully if not for his cat-like mobility and, instinctively, he stood behind her.

"Are you gonna do the thing?" he asked eagerly, watching her turn the silver rings on her fingers with a mischievous spark in his eye.

"I'm gonna do the thing," Desi smirked as three very large, very much on steroid looking men came running at them at top speed, "can I have the dagger back?"

Felix handed her his rusty old friend and instantaneously, it melted in her grasp. The silver rings that were once snaked around her delicate fingers floated into the air in front of her like droplets of pearly liquid -suspended in zero gravity. The alleyway was dark and dimly lit by street lamps that did its best to pierce through the blinding darkness, and yet Felix could very much see the floating silver orbs -glowing and swirling and enticing his sight with its slowed motion. Desi's hands were cupped in front of her, palm upwards, like children did when they wanted to catch rainwater. 

She clenched her fists and the orbs hardened.

They hardened into millions of compressed nails.

In the shy light, Felix could make out the silhouette of the large men stopping, even backing away a little at the mere sight of Desi. They looked strong; muscular, but still no match for Desi.

She planted her feet firmly to the ground and Felix did the same.

"Just so you know guys," Desi called out to the men, her black curls whipping furiously thanks to a mysterious wind, "I'm fairly certain that this will not kill you, given your massive size and muscle mass."

She flicked her finger and the nails were shot.

Millions of sharp, tiny metals shot at them from all directions with immaculate speed -Felix had to regain his balance from the forceful wind that gushed their way. The three men tried to escape but Felix knew it would be a futile move. Once Desi had set her targets, despite her infuriating childishness, she was a missile. No matter how much you squirmed and ran from her sight, she would always find you. 

With her Magic swirling and pulsing through her veins.

And when that happened they'd usually end up in the hospital with man, many tubes coming out of one's body.

Felix felt an arm grab his, and before he knew it he was back on the streets, panting and huffing and, most importantly, running again, seemingly, for his life.

"Why are we still running?" he cried, desperately wanting to give his new sneakers a break.

"Because-" And then Desi was tossed aside like a rag doll with a loud thump as she hit the heavily graffitied wall.

Felix panicked and ran to her.

"Desi, are you-"

"Stay back-"

And then the tallest man Felix had ever seen flew into the spotlight of the street-lamps and kneed Desi into the wall with a thundering force. Felix instinctively jumped back in fear and he clenched his jaw.

How could he possibly be a match for this abomination of a human?

Desi coughed and red splattered the pavement. She looked up to see a face towering over her - smiling in a way that made her want to launch a fist in it.

Felix, a trembling mess as it was, felt the need to run towards her assailant and at least try to get him off her and, as if she could read his thoughts, Desi glared at him.

Stay. Back.

Desi blocked the knee that was headed for her abdomen and head-butted him. He staggered back, eyes wide, and Desi cracked her fist against his nose. The man staggered back again, low this time, and she stepped into him, closer, and beautifully launched a kick to his ribs. The man tumbled back and cried out in agony -a broken nose and some cracked ribs was a lenient punishment, in Desi's book.

She stood up groggily and dusted the grime off her leather coat and frowned down at her matching platform boots -they had splotches of dark red on them. Oxygenated blood, no doubt.

She stared at the man on the floor, laying and sobbing quietly.

"I doubt he's going to get back up." Felix said, still shaking like a wet dog.

"Hmm."

Desi walked to the weeping man, kneeled down, punched his face, and he was out cold.

Felix nodded at her.

"I doubt he's able to get back up."

"I agree. We should go."

-.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.--.-

The taste of copper had dissipated from his mouth, thank god.

Felix touched his plump upper lip and winced at the pain. He wiped off the excess blood with his sleeve and almost gagged at the sight of his own blood.

"I'm not entirely sure you're suited for this life." Desi said to him, furrowing her brows as they walked at a brisk pace, Felix still looking at the blood.

"No no, I am," he opposed, "it's just... I've never been punched before."

"Well, you shouldn't have got so close to him."

"He grabbed my hood."

"You shouldn't have worn such a grabbable outfit, then."

"You told me to wear something warm!"

"Sweaters exist, you know."

"You're wearing a leather coat. Wouldn't that be categorised as a grabbable outfit?"

"Perhaps. However the difference between you and I, is that-" she cracked her knuckles, "I've got these."

"How mature. An adult telling a very impressionable teenage boy that violence resolves everything."

"It does if you win."

Felix glared at her.

"My apologies. Clearly, I should've anticipated an ambush by guys in tight tank tops at the parking lot, as that seems to happen very often-"

Desi shot her hand up and Felix stopped in his tracks -his heart palpating to the beat of a hummingbird's wings. He looked at where she was facing, admittedly trembling, and wondered what could possibly cause her to halt so abruptly.

Was it another goon? Another scallywag? A hoodlum?

"We're here." Desi whispered.

"Wh- where? Hold on, where were we even headed in the first place? Is this, like, the nest of bad guys? Their HQ, perhaps? Is this where they're plotting world domination and the total annihilation of human ki-"

Felix looked up and frowned.

"Is- is this a library?"

The building in front of them was rectangular with columns and large doors and latin engraved proudly on its forehead with little cherubs on each sides.

Instead of answering, Desi took a deep breath, fixed up her coat and climbed the stairs. When Felix tried to follow she put a hand up and shook her head. The heels of her platform boots clicked with each stair and all he could do was stare at her rippling brown coat as she creaked open the massive doors and disappeared into the building.

The lights weren't even on, though.

Felix frowned even deeper. Was the library even open at such late hours?

A few minutes later Desi trotted down the stairs with a piece of paper in her hand.

When the light finally hit her face, she didn't look very pleased.

"Um, what just happened?" he asked.

"I returned a library book."

He blinked a few times.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I returned a book that I had been borrowing, from the library."

"Was that- was that the goal?"

Desi blinked.

"Yes." She answered.

"Then why were we assaulted more than once, by bad guys?"

"Well, figuring that out is our next goal."

"Well," Felix was exasperated, "what's that piece of paper in your hand, then?"

Desi scowled and twiddled the paper around her fingers.

"It's a bill for the late fee." she murmured.

Felix furrowed his brows.

What had he gotten himself into?

April 30, 2021 10:31

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