Fantasy Fiction Suspense

"JUST GET OUT! OUT OF MY HOUSE, OUT OF MY LIFE, AND OUT OF MY FUTURE!" I yelled, tears streaming down my cheeks. Who I thought was the love of my life walked out, holding my ex-best friend's hand in his. I slammed the door behind them and ran to my room, yanking all of the pictures hung on my wall that contained Rick or Sally in it. I smashed them on the floor, destroying the memories to push away the hurt of betrayal, yelling threats.

"You jerk!" A picture of us at our first date, smashed on the floor. "You stupid idiot!" Our first trip together. "You cheater!" Us eating ice cream together. "I loved you!... And you!" I picked up a picture of me and Sally from the 5th grade, arms wrapped around each other, chocolate circling our lips. "You threw away a lifetime of friendship! I trusted you!" I smashed it against the floor, watching as the glass shattered into a million pieces.

I grabbed the souvenirs from when we all went to Disneyland together... apparently the moment when they fell in love. I grabbed Mickey Mouse snow globes, stuffed animals, souvenir hats... then walked to the kitchen (being careful not to step on any broken glass) and dumped them all in the trash.

I stood in front of the trashcan, hot tears streaming down my face. I fingered my wrist where my heart-shaped birthmark laid, the only thing I have from my mother. Rick would always rub his fingers over it, talking about how I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever laid his hands on...

Apparently that was a lie too.

I grabbed a broom and began sweeping up the broken glass in my room. It was sort of a humbling moment.

I need a vacation, I thought. Just some me time. There's supposed to be a carnival about 4 hours away from here... maybe I can go there.

I don't usually get mad, but when I do, it's hard and fast. I dumped the broken glass in the trash and returned to my room. I grabbed a pillow and shoved my face into it, not caring about my makeup.

My foot brushed against something, and I looked up to find the picture of all of us together at Disneyland. I picked it up as the memories and the pain came flooding back. I had known Sally since 1st grade, and Rick was my boyfriend for 2 years... funny how a summer at an amusement park can change all of that. I glanced at the picture again, then got up and threw it in the trash when I noticed Rick's fingers peaking around Sally's butt.


I walked into the hotel room, my black luggage in hand, examining the place I would be staying for the next few days. The room was okay, considering how many bad reviews this place had, but it was the cheapest option. There were two beds separated by a small nightstand, a decent-sized TV, a large bathtub, and even a mini-fridge. They said they were short on rooms, so this was the only one they had available. I didn't mind: more space for me. I placed my luggage next to the bed closest to the window.

I gazed out of the window at the carnival. I could see various families and children and...


I quickly closed the curtain. I couldn't do this forever, avoid anything that brought back memories of... him... but for now, I didn't care.

I heard a door creak open. I turned around to find a young woman standing in the doorway, holding a small luggage.

"Wrong room," I said, pretending that a loose thread on the curtain was the most interesting thing in the world. "This is Room 105."

The woman merely nodded and walked into the room.

"Hey, did you hear me?" I said, looking up from my fidgeting. "You're in the wrong room."

The woman shook her head. Her face was shadowed by a large hat, so I couldn't see her face. She continued to step into the room.

"Hey, stop it!" I shouted as the woman closed the door. "I'll call security!" I didn't really know how, but there must be something here I can use.

"So..." the woman whispered. "You're the one."

"What?" I said. "What are you talking about?" I bumped my back into the wall, my heart beating faster and faster.

The woman smiled and removed her hat, revealing her large green eyes and pale skin.

"We have to share rooms," she said, placing her hat on the unclaimed bed. "Didn't they tell you?" She smiled, as if she hadn't even said her previous statement. What did she mean by 'You're the one'? Why is she acting so normal now?"

"N-no," I mumbled. "They didn't tell me. Who are you anyway?"

She placed her luggage next to the bed and pushed back a strand of black hair, revealing her abnormally pointed ears.

"The name's Raya."

"Oh," I said. "I'm Olivia. Make yourself comfortable, I guess..."

She nodded and smiled, sitting down on the bed and staring at door.

"Did you get plastic surgery?" I blurted out. Raya whipped her head around, confusion etched on her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mumbled, my face burning. "I just thought... with the ears..."

"Oh!" she said. "That's not plastic surgery. They're real."

"Oh," I said. "They look nice, kind of makes you look like an elf."

Raya suddenly looked angry. Her pale fake turned pink, then red, and her green eyes seemed to darken.

"What did you say?" she whispered.

"I-I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to offend you. I just said you kind of looked like an elf... you know, with the ears and all."

Raya stood up.

"Oh, I can't do this," she whispered. "I can't stay in the same room and act like you're a normal person. Not when you're..." she inhaled sharply. "I might as well drop the act."

"... what are you talking about?" I asked, my heart beginning to race.

Raya lifted her hand towards the door as a small light emerged from it. Vines erupted from the floor and wrapped themselves around the door, locking us in. I looked towards the window behind me and found vines wrapped around it as well.

"We Ethras do not appreciate being compared to elves," she said, walking closer to me.

"Those horrid creatures... but they aren't as horrid as you."

"Stop it," I said, my voice rising. "Stop it or I'll scream."

I opened my mouth to do so when Raya launched herself forward at a speed no human was capable of and locked her hand on my throat, blocking my air supply.

"Do you know who I am?" she asked, her green eyes suddenly turning red.

"I... no..." I gasped, grasping at my throat.

"Well, maybe this will remind you..." she whispered. She pulled out a necklace from underneath her shirt: a golden chain with a pendant in the middle with a symbol I didn't recognize.

I stared at the pendant as my vision blurred and my mind became fuzzy.

"Do you remember now?!" she shouted. "I'm not the helpless little girl I was all those years ago. You killed my mother! I watched you drain the life from her, you Learlex! That's all you creatures ever do, drain the life out of others for sheer fun." She pierced her fingers deeper into my throat. I could barely hear the words she was saying. My heart was racing, my lungs burning...

"I... don't know.... what... you're... talking..."

"Silence!" she screamed. "I will take back the lives you stole from my mother and my entire tribe. Say goodbye, you Learlex."

She grabbed my wrist and wrenched it forward, then stopped. Her grip loosened on my throat as she stared at my wrist, the place I had my birthmark.

She dropped me to the ground, and I clasped my throat, gasping in sweet, sweet air.

"You're.... you're not a Learlex," she whispered.

"You're the Missing Daughter."

March 05, 2021 16:25

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ooh that ending. It needs an explanation XD great job with everything as usual :) I like...everything really XD L.W.


tysmmm lol- i was planning to make a series with this but have been procrastinating XD. I was planning that there were other species on another planet, and that one of them were basically soul suckers and the "elf-like" ones hated them because they wipeed out entire tribes. The soul sucker desguise themselves as humans, however. Themissing daughter is anothee species that was said to be long dead, except fro one who escaped and lived as a human.


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wow. great story!! This was a unique take on the prompt and very creative!! the beginning was very interesting and hooked me on for the rest of the story. amazing job Abbieeeeeeeeeee!!!


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hey, nice meeting you! We have a lot in common (I think). I'm the same age, I used to like purple (now it's rainbow), I also wrote a short story about Halloween but I don't celebrate it like you, I like reading and writing, and I also used to be a shy, quite bookworm (except I don't know if I've changed XD). I'd love to get to know you more and read your stories, but I kinda gotta go to school now. -Lone Wolf


It's nice to meet you too! We have a lot in common lol twinsies XD I'd love to know you more as well and I'll try and read more of your stories! (teachers are hovering over me rn wahhhh)


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13:48 Mar 09, 2021

Fantastic story, Abigail! This typically wouldn't be the first thing that would come to mind when reading the prompt, and that makes it so much better! It's creative and it stands out. I love how you described Olivia's feelings, I mean not that you specifically wrote what Olivia was feeling at the moment but more of what the reader would take away from how she reacted (does that make sense?), it's pretty amazing, lol can I go smash a giant snow globe on Rick? The birthmark foreshadow-y thingy was a good call, it was enjoyable to read :) ...


tysm for the feedback!!!!!! Lol I need as much as I can get XD. Yes I usually take a simple prompt and just go crazy lolllll heres a snowglobe, lets go together >;) hee hee


01:54 Mar 10, 2021

yasssssssss, lol i love crazy stories~ lol yasss, >;D ooh olivia would now be royalty-ish? so then she could really dump a giant snow globe over his head :b


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Nainika Gupta
14:54 Mar 08, 2021

Hey Abby! (can I call you that?) This was a really interesting story, and I loved the way the plot went! I can't wait to see if you continue this, or just leave it, both would be good...but I feel like I'd need a part 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or...you get it XD There were a few things I would write differently..or edit :) Don't hate me, loll - this is just to make you a better writer (I saw your bio) ❤️ 1) "JUST GET OUT! OUT OF MY HOUSE, OUT OF MY LIFE, AND OUT OF MY FUTURE!" (most of the time, nothing is COMPLETELY capitalized, its just referenc...


tysm im new to writing lol XD I use elipses quite a bit the wrong way simply because im trying not to overuse commas. tysm for the feedback! ill edit later when i have time thx for reading all my stories ;)


Nainika Gupta
15:36 Mar 08, 2021

Of course!! Ahah I understand that :) And yeah!! :)


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Cam Croz
17:20 Mar 05, 2021

Nice! I can see this being like a novel or series or something! Its an amazing idea for a story!!! (lol I suck at plots haha) - Some feedback: this particular plot is awesome! but rushed into a short story makes it seem too sped up and hurried. If the main character took their time to get to the major plot points, while things are poited out (giving small hints to what is going to happen) such as having the birthmark thought in the story before this strange lady sees it, or a serires of odd things happening while shes making her way to this...


Thank you so much and no I like the constructive criticism! I have a problem going too fast in my short stories, so I definitely understand where you're coming from! I don't think it's rude at all, helps me improve my stories :) YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO AND I LOVE THE FEEDBACK


Cam Croz
17:27 Mar 05, 2021

np Thank you for enjoying my feedback instead of legit attacking me lmao XD


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