A Rowing Pit Offers Hours of Sit-up Sleeping

Submitted into Contest #271 in response to: A chance encounter brings together two old friends who have changed in surprising or strange ways.... view prompt

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Fantasy Funny Adventure

They don't tell you in rowing school that you sleep where you row. No! They let you believe you'll have a quadruple bunk or at least a wooden floor to sleep on. Surely, a ship in Selwyn's navy affords that much comfort? But no. The rowing pit offers hours of sit-up sleeping, no room to stretch out, and splinters to rollover sleepers - like Flimlet.


"Curse that cursed belt," Flimlet mumbled to himself loud enough for Lady Nimmo to hear.


Lady Nimmo lay against her husband, unable to sleep. The belt wasn't the only thing she'd like to curse right now. Flimlet's tossing and turning was almost as insufferable as the bench she sat on. Her husband slept soundly, his years as a pirate acclimating him to insufferable conditions, which made her angry for some reason.


The magical tree stumps slept like the dead. Since they slept standing, the pit was like a Hilton Inn to them.


Under normal conditions, Jor and Tim slept with one eye open, drifting from sleep to awake throughout the night.


Lady Nimmo opened her eyes and beheld a peaceful sea through the oar hole beside her. The moonlight reflected off the still water, calming her frazzled nerves. Her thoughts floated to Oakaford. She remembered when she carved him with no other thought than finding a healing hobby. She smiled, thinking of Oakaford's surprised face when he realized he could talk and walk - things he could never have done as a tree. She was no less surprised. Since then, Oakaford has held a special place in her heart. The picture of that cursed belt on him made her shiver. How could her kind-hearted stumper become evil? What kind of magic did that belt have? With these thoughts racing around, she fell asleep without knowing it.


Suddenly, pounding drums and shouting men filled the night. The pit master yelled out, "Row! Row! Row! Our lives depend on it. Now, row!" The entire pit of rowers rowed in synchronized movement to the beat of the drum.


Lady Nimmo could not catch a glimpse through the oar hole.


Arrow, her husband, had a better angle. "There's at least two ships. They're too close for us to outrun," he said between strokes. "We're in for a fight."


"Fine with me," Flimlet said. "Let's see how they like fighting a sleep-deprived dwarf. I'm angry enough to wrestle a grundle barr."


"If they're pirates, they won't ram us. They'll attempt to take our ship as a prize," Arrow said. "When they hook us, we'll feel a jolt. That's when we fight."


Everyone rowed furiously to the beat of the drum. The pit master shouted, encouraging his rowers to give everything they had. However, despite all their efforts, they felt the jolt. The pirates hooked them.


Lady Nimmo's party grabbed their weapons and stood. The pit master yelled, "We're not fighters! You all sit down!"


"Master, we're not who you think we are," Arrow said. "This is Lady Nimmo, and we are fighters. Let us up so we can help."


Confused to discover Lady Nimmo was one of his oar men, along with short trees, an elf, and a dwarf. However, he allowed them.


When the party arrived on deck, they saw a massive battle. Arrow sought out Captain Wington and found him near the central archer tower, where he fought two pirates.


The party rushed through the mayhem to join him. They arrived and quickly dispatched the two pirates - Flimlet doing all the work. Apparently, pirates don't want to fight a sleep-deprived dwarf who is angry enough to wrestle grundle barrs.


"By Xer-Bane! How did you all get here!" Captain Wington shouted.


"Let's first figure out how to get these guys off your ship, and then we can chat over a beer mug," Flimlet said. He picked up a pirate fighting one of Wington's men and threw him overboard.


"Well, yes. That does seem more needed at the moment."


Wington's sailors rallied around Lady Nimmo's party. They pushed the pirates from bow to stern until superior numbers stopped them. A spontaneous respite took place as each side regrouped and rested.


"Captain!" A lieutenant said. 


"Yes," Captain Wington and Arrow said simultaneously. They both looked at each other. The lieutenant's perplexed expression caused both captains to laugh.


"My apologies, Captain Wington," Arrow said. "Old habit."


"Not at all. Perfectly understandable," Captain Wington said. He then nodded to his lieutenant.


"Yes, sir," the lieutenant cleared his throat, "I believe their leader is boarding."


They all turned to see a skinny man in a purple coat with crisscrossed leather belts over his shoulders. The belts held over a dozen throwing knives. The pirates gave way as he walked to the frontline.


"This is something I didn't bargain for – fighting tree stumps, a dwarf, an elf. Why are you messing with my acquisition of this beauty of a ship?"


Arrow couldn't believe his eyes - Thin John in the flesh. He hadn't seen him since the Wheat War. He hadn't changed a bit.


"Because you already have enough ships, you greedy pirate!" Arrow shouted.


"That's Captain Thin John..." Thin John stopped in mid-sentence. "By the Spirit of the Sea, if it ain't Captain Arrow James." Thin John motioned for his men to stand down. "I figured a dragon would have eaten you by now. I can hardly believe my eyes. It's been a lifetime." He looked Arrow up and down, stopping at his leg. "Well, I'll be tied to a mast. You're finally a real pirate."


"He was already a real pirate," Lady Nimmo said. She didn't like the wispy man. Of course, it could have something to do with the fact he was trying to kill them only a few moments ago.


Arrow instinctively moved in front of Lady Nimmo.


"Who's this feisty girl?" Thin John said.


Several things happened at once. Flimlet raised his axe. Tim raised his bow with an arrow fixed. The stumpers surrounded Lady Nimmo with drawn swords. Jor and Captain Arrow took a few steps closer.


"Watch what you say. She's my wife and Duchess of Jorton," Arrow said.


Thin John's hand rested on his sword in his sheath. He wisely decided to leave it alone.


"Pardon me. I did not know. My mistake." Thin John removed his hand from his sword, "I'm not used to being in the presence of respectable ladies. And I would never have believed you were the marrying type."


"I'm a fortunate man, but perhaps we could swap stories over a beer instead of a battlefield." Arrow sensed trouble. Thin John wasn't the friend he remembered.


Thin John lowered his head with a shake and took a few steps behind his men, "I would like that, my old friend. However, I can't. You see, I've swapped locks of hair with a dark-looking elf. In exchange for gold, I must capture or destroy this fine ship. And you know a hair swap can't be undone." Thin John pulled his sword. "I'm really sorry, but a pirate has to do what a pirate has to do."


Thin John ordered his pirates to charge as soon as he stopped talking. 


Tim released his arrow, missing Thin John but hitting a pirate. Flimlet charged, ducked under one pirate, and lifted him off his feet, throwing him into the sea. Then his axe went to work cutting sword blades in two and helping pirates rethink their career choices. 


Jor, who is usually quiet, began to change. His eyes and sword glowed red. The charging pirates turned white and called an audible to charge anywhere but near the red-eyed freak. However, Jor had no trouble chasing them down.


Ash-rim, temporary captain of the stumpers, deftly wielded his sword, disarming and maiming as he pushed the horde back. The rest of the stumpers and Captain Arrow formed a ring around Lady Nimmo as she shot arrow after arrow into the pirates.


Unfortunately, Captain Wington's sailors had little experience fighting and proved to be more in the way than help. The tide of battle went from favorable to desperate. Captain Wington, seeing that his unexpected guest would have fought to the death, raised a white flag.


Jor ordered the party to stand down. After all, Captain Wington was in command.


"Now see here. There's no need for all these gloomy faces," Thin John raised his hat and placed it over his heart. "You've earned my respect. Well, you guys earned my respect." He pointed to Lady Nimmo's party. "You sailors need a lot of help, but I'll treat you with the same respect for their sake."


"What do you intend to do?" Arrow asked.


"There's a tiny island nearby. I know, I know. It's such a cliche. But I need you off this ship, and I decided not to throw you into the sea, so we must indulge in a pirate's fallback."


The three ships anchored in a small harbor of the island. The oar men of the White Tsunami were allowed to stay – pirate nor sailor wanted that job. However, Thin John forced the rest of the crew and Lady Nimmo's party to swim ashore.


Just before Captain Arrow jumped into the water, Thin John pulled him aside and softly spoke. "Sorry, my old friend."


"Friend? You dare call me that?"


"I'd feel the same if I were in your boots. But everything is not what it seems."


"What do you mean? You're marooning us. Possible to our deaths. And you have the nerve to say it's not what it looks like."


"I have my reasons. Right now, gold is the only answer I know. I would not have exchanged locks of hair had I known you were on board. I hope you believe me."


"What I believe doesn't matter. If we meet again, it will be with steel."


"I understand."


The ships rowed out of the harbor, abandoning the defeated crew to fight for their survival. It proved helpful to have woodsmen. The island hosted an abundance of trees. Soon, they built a fire, made thatched covers, and found tree melons for dinner. The first night didn't go as bad as they feared.


However, Lady Nimmo and the party ate with mixed feelings. How could they rescue Oakaford now? Lammerous must be miles ahead. Their best hope was to arrive in Mavtor before the shadow elves. They ate their melons with gratitude, but hope began to die within them.


October 12, 2024 02:57

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16 comments

McKade Kerr
14:55 Oct 27, 2024

Wow, things are getting intense! This was a great story! And as always, the humor was spot on! My favorite line: “Apparently, pirates don't want to fight a sleep-deprived dwarf who is angry enough to wrestle grundle barrs.” 😂😂😂

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Daniel Rogers
02:47 Oct 29, 2024

Thanks. I have to admit, I agree with the pirates 😂

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Jess Norton
15:35 Oct 16, 2024

Hi Daniel! Great story! Loved the line, “If we meet again, it will be with steel.”

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Daniel Rogers
00:36 Oct 17, 2024

Thank you. Arrow is no pushover 😀👍

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Heather Rogers
16:10 Oct 13, 2024

You never fail to take me through a wide range of emotions. I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Bob. 😘

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Daniel Rogers
21:31 Oct 13, 2024

Well..."If you like to waltz with tomatoes, up and down the grocery aisle." 😘🤣

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Marty B
05:23 Oct 13, 2024

Ive never heard of 'swapped locks of hair with a dark-looking elf.' as a way to seal a bargain?

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Daniel Rogers
16:04 Oct 13, 2024

It's an age-old tradition in Wanowyn. Especially, with pirates. 🤣

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Mary Bendickson
00:57 Oct 13, 2024

Fought their way into a corner-- er, island.

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Daniel Rogers
01:11 Oct 13, 2024

I'd be very concerned if they didn't have Lady Nimmo

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Mary Bendickson
01:16 Oct 13, 2024

She'll think of something...til next prompt.

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04:52 Oct 12, 2024

Thwarted again! How will they get out of this pickled stumper? Are Captain Arrow and Lady Nimmo stumped or will a solution come soon. I hope so!

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Daniel Rogers
12:40 Oct 12, 2024

Me too 😂

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Daniel Rogers
01:17 Oct 13, 2024

THIS IS FOR ANYONE Could someone explain to me how to hashtag my story. Our Reedsy leader keeps saying "don't forget to hashtag," but I don't know how. Please help

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McKade Kerr
14:58 Oct 27, 2024

I don’t know if this is correct, but I think they mean hashtaging it when you post it on social media, not when you post it on Reedsy. 🤷‍♂️ That’s just my guess though. I’m not sure what the hashtag would even be though 😂

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Daniel Rogers
02:45 Oct 29, 2024

Thanks. I don't know much about hash tagging, so I think I'll stay away from it for now. #🤣

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