The Locked Door

Written in response to: Write a story titled ‘The Locked Door.’... view prompt

120 comments

Horror Sad Thriller

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Creaking slowly in the middle of the night was mom's door to her old bedroom. In the year 2021; she died on her closet floor, leaving no clues leading up to her death. Thus, investigators assumed it was a suicide. Every night mom's door opens, but I'm used to it by now... I feel like it's just for me, as if I'm supposed to go in when she unlocks the door. At night I hear her whisper, yet I can't make it out because it sounds scratchy, like when you are on the phone and the service is bad.

I don't sleep at night because I wait for mom to open the door. I go in and sit where she died. No one knows this because no one believes that mom is still around. They don't believe me. No, they call me mental and desperate. When I go beyond the locked door; her words are clear, and I can even feel my mom's loving embrace. We sit together and talk, my life feels normal again... but just as we are enjoying each other's company; the glee I feel takes a nightmarish turn as her eyes turn black as I watch her bleed out.


I then wake up in my bed as if nothing has happened, but it does not feel like a dream, and I know it can't be.

I cannot open the door during the day because it is locked, and I don't want to bust it down because that would defile my mother's place of demise. I don't know how the door got locked. I have an older sister named Madison. I've asked her about the mysterious door before, but she doesn't know either. She moved in with her boyfriend back in 2019. Just a year afterwards, Dad and mom divorced, so it was just mom and I at home.


However, I'm 18 now and all alone with mom who I only see at night. I wish I could be with her during the day too, but the locked door. I can often hear her during the day, but not everything I can make out. When I can understand what is being said, it is not always good. I have heard things such as, "Kill her like you did me", but who is "her", and I didn't kill anyone at least I think I didn't? The worry and confusion deepen but I cannot leave my mother behind.

I told my best friend Grace about everything that has been happening and without a pause she declared, "You need to talk to someone about all of this paranormal stuff immediately!". I agreed so she found me a therapist, her name was Randy Lindsey Stine. She told me I have hallucinations and memory loss. Hallucinations are when you see something from your head, but you think they are real like how I see my mom... but she is real! I know she has to be she opens the door at night to let me in.


It is November 20th, 2023, at 3:01am and I don't hear the door opening instead I hear the sounds of mom crying and talking to herself she spoke out softly to me, "It has been too long, it is time to tell her what happened".

What "happened" and what has "been too long"? I lay in bed and think about what I just heard so hard my brain feels like it's going to explode.

Moments later the door opens slowly slower than usual. I go in and sit the same spot I do every night. This time feels different. It is eerie. Then suddenly, I don't see mom's beautiful blue eyes; instead, I see dark red eyes deeper than a black hole and sharp white teeth! I try to run out but The Locked Door! She bites my shoulder one inch away from my neck. Then in a burst of fear I wake up, checking all over my body but she, or it, left nothing except for the memory.


All day I think about everything that has happened. That thing in my closet and Mom crying. I still can't understand anything, so I decide to just take a shower. As I step out of the shower, I dry off but before I go to wrap myself in it, I realize my blood is all over the towel. Coming out of my arm is the nastiest red I've ever seen. I wash the blood off of my arm and revel teeth marks. "They weren't there this morning" I thought to myself. This means I was right... I don't have hallucinations, and this is all real. I do see, feel, and hear her.

The next day I decided to share this with someone who might actually understand so I decided to go and visit Madison and Abram. They welcomed me in, but I know we all felt awkward because we have not spoken to each other since mom's death. Abram went to take their dog outside. I knew this was the perfect time to talk to Madison in private about mom and everything else that has been going on.


"I would like to talk to you" I asked.

she agreed "okay".

I said, "promise me you will not think I am crazy".

She promised, "I promise. just don't say anything ridiculous".

I took a breath and told her, "At night moms door opens and I can go in and see her". "Oh, shut up Ariana yeah right"! she yelled.

I frowned, "I'm not lying I do, and I can hear her talk to me both day and night".

She said calmly, "look Ari I miss mom too, but you don't see me talking to air, do you"? I answered, "Fine if you don't believe me than come over and spend the night".

She agreed, "okay but I'm bringing my boyfriend".

I replied, "okay that's fine".

At 9:00pm I went home bringing Madison and Abram with me. We did not tell Abram about why they were really spending the night. We just let him fall asleep.

At 2:59am the door squeaked open Madison says, "oh my god did it just open after like 2 years of being locked"? I say, "yes it does every night". We both walked in but then Madison did something I've never done and regret seeing. She turned on the lights it looked like something you would only see in a nightmare. There was blood leaking from the walls, the bedroom window was completely shattered, and some shards put in the wall, moms old bed looked like a dog got in. As terrified as we both are we sit in the closet with the lights on but mom doesn't appear but there is a mirror sitting in front of us "I've never seen this" I said. she says, "because you don't turn on the lights".

I look closer and there is a note with bloody fingerprints all over.


It says, dear Ariana it is time you know how I really died it was not suicide. Every night you come in here and you think your talking to me but you're talking into this mirror, this mirror holds a demon in it they call Kaizlee, by now she has possessed you every night she lures you in here and grab's your hand and tries to get you to get more people in here to kill like you did me at 3:30am the night I died you got me to come in the closet and murdered me the only way to leave you this note was to take a life.

A life? I turn around in horror after I see Madison with her eyes black and wide open, I start to cry and scream as she stars to bleed out. Now everyone knows our house as (the house with The Locked Door!)




January 24, 2022 07:15

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120 comments

14:38 Jan 27, 2022

Quite a tale! English teacher stuff: Only use semicolons to connect two independence clauses (or complete sentences.) Also cut out wordiness! Change this: In the year 2021; she died on her closet floor, leaving no clues leading up to her death. To this: In 2021, she was found on her closet floor with no clues to how she died. All this backstory should come earlier in the exposition: I have an older sister named Madison. I've asked her about the mysterious door before, but she doesn't know either. She moved in with her boyfriend back i...

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Shaylynn Skinner
21:11 Jan 27, 2022

That was really good. I'll try and correct everything you just pointed out! TYSM.

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Shaylynn Skinner
21:34 Jan 27, 2022

I tried my best, to correct most of it how does it sound now?

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Zelda C. Thorne
15:31 Jan 25, 2022

Ooooooo cool ending. I liked the story. I think you did a good job of getting inside the character's head. Some critique for you (I hope you find it constructive) : "I would like to talk to you" I said. she said "okay".... - This whole paragraph was difficult to read because usually new dialogue starts on a new line, rather than being continuous. Something to look up, maybe? "I can hear her during the day but not everything I can make out but when I can make out something it is not always good such as kill her like you did me but who is...

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Shaylynn Skinner
02:19 Jan 26, 2022

Thank you for reading and I will definitely work on that! Thanks for pointing that out.=) I am going to go back and fix that tysm! Rachel

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Shaylynn Skinner
08:27 Jan 26, 2022

I have corrected it, does it sound better? Anything else I need to fix? Rachel

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Zelda C. Thorne
08:41 Jan 26, 2022

Hey! It does sound better and I've followed you 🙂 Thanks for giving mine another read, much appreciated. Keep reading and keep writing!

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Shaylynn Skinner
08:43 Jan 26, 2022

Thank you so much for the follow and critics. It was a lot easier to edit, when I read it out loud thanks again!

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Zelda C. Thorne
08:44 Jan 26, 2022

Your bio is not boring! I think it's fantastic that you're on here, writing stories and asking for feedback. I also like Spanish btw. Go you!

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Shaylynn Skinner
08:49 Jan 26, 2022

Thanks! XD Not everyone is interested in those things LOL.=)

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Moon Lion
06:26 Feb 01, 2022

Super gripping and very relatable, which sounds weird because of some of the paranormal/supernatural elements but honestly the feeling that the person you lost is still here was very well conveyed.

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Shaylynn Skinner
16:43 Feb 01, 2022

Thank you!!!! =)

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09:34 Jan 26, 2022

I seriously enjoyed this. The story was good and pacing really nice. Good job you did there!

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Shaylynn Skinner
09:38 Jan 26, 2022

Oh, wow thank you! I have an interest into scary things I guess LOL. I really enjoyed writing it, this is the only genre I really like honestly. I see you are going to be in contest #130 as well, may the best author win. =)

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09:44 Jan 26, 2022

No, I think my story is far from being winning material. I still have some things to work on. So you don't really have to worry about me haha.

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Shaylynn Skinner
09:51 Jan 26, 2022

XD you never know I just saw that an 80-year-old won contest #127. Can't stop laughing now that you say that!

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Boutat Driss
11:39 Jan 25, 2022

well done!

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Shaylynn Skinner
11:52 Jan 25, 2022

Thank you very much, did you enjoy it? Boutat

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Boutat Driss
12:34 Jan 25, 2022

for sure yes

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Boutat Driss
12:35 Jan 25, 2022

please read my story : Enigmatic heritage.

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Shaylynn Skinner
02:21 Jan 26, 2022

Of course, I will! Boutat

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Shaylynn Skinner
06:45 Jan 25, 2022

This was my very first story on reedsy. I would love to hear any tips and or advice!

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Emerald Lace
15:34 Jan 30, 2022

You've gotten so much amazing feedback so I am just going to tell you that I enjoyed the story and the twist at the end. Horror is one of the genre's I write and this has the makings of a wonderfully scary tale. For your first story here, it's fabulous. Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more by you.

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Shaylynn Skinner
01:47 Jan 31, 2022

Thank you soooo much, I love how nice the feedback is on here and your story was really good as well!

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Hannah Barrett
01:42 Jan 30, 2022

Wow, Shaylynn! You did R.L. Stine proud with this one. Nice work!

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Shaylynn Skinner
01:43 Jan 31, 2022

Thank you so much, and I am a big fan of his! Thanks again.

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Corey Melin
19:06 Jan 29, 2022

Quite suspenseful that kept you reading to find out what happens at the end. I definitely see one who could hit the best seller list in the future. For me Stephen King is the mighty horror writer. Keep up the superb imagination.

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Shaylynn Skinner
01:42 Jan 31, 2022

Thank you so much you too!

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Miles Gatling
08:55 Jan 28, 2022

Loved the cannibal ghost.

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Shaylynn Skinner
15:19 Jan 28, 2022

Thank you!

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21:15 Jan 27, 2022

Your story is great, Shaylynn. Not to mention but your willingness to accept criticism at such a young age is a testament to your character. Keep writing, continue to tell stories and watch how you find your voice. Onwards and upwards!

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Shaylynn Skinner
21:20 Jan 27, 2022

THANK YOU!! I am glad you enjoyed. =)

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Gip Roberts
21:13 Jan 27, 2022

I like the idea you went with for this prompt. Being all alone in a house and hearing a voice coming from behind a locked door at 3 AM every night would be scary for sure, but you intensified it by adding an emotional layer with the backstory of the tragedy with Ariana's mother. Keep the stories coming, you're off to a good start with this one.

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Shaylynn Skinner
21:17 Jan 27, 2022

Thank you I wanted the readers heart to skip a beat, when they read XD. I hope it worked LOL!

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Sarah Kreiger
16:45 Jan 27, 2022

Really good for your first story on Reedsy! Welcome by the way :) I read your story a a day ago or two and forgot to leave a comment, so rude of me. So here I am now, reading your story again because I liked it. Keep writing and doing awesome!

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Shaylynn Skinner
20:59 Jan 27, 2022

Thank you so much, the people are so kind on here! LOVE your story by the way!

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Sarah Kreiger
22:34 Jan 27, 2022

Thank you! ^-^

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Shaylynn Skinner
23:47 Jan 27, 2022

you are welcome! =)

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:45 Jan 27, 2022

I liked the rush of the story and how well-developed it was. I did find one error, it's probably not an error but it stuck out to me. This sentence, "I try to run out but The Locked Door!" I don't really understand the sentence. Did you mean the door locked?? But otherwise this was a good read!!

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Shaylynn Skinner
21:08 Jan 27, 2022

No, I did not mean the door locked. It was to put the meaning of the title in the book. Do you get it now? Thank you for your feedback great question btw. Love your shout out too! TYSM

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:53 Jan 28, 2022

Yep I get it now, it kind of confused me for a second :) No problem lmk when another one of your story comes out!! You're welcome <333

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Shaylynn Skinner
15:24 Jan 28, 2022

Thank you so much for reading and everything, it was all very nice of you. Thanks again!

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Cookie Carla🍪
15:02 Jan 31, 2022

:) <33

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Kathleen `Woods
09:41 Jan 26, 2022

To confirm the bias in effect, I don't prefer first person perspective, and I used an E-reader meaning that I listened rather than traditionally read your work. I may have also had trouble connecting to your characters well enough to be sad or surprised. The rest I hope are less specific to me as a commentator. This was closer to a synopsis than what I'd call narrated, but the pieces together aren't bad. The overall concept is great, the characters are present if not extensively developed in text, and the attention to numbered dates and...

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Shaylynn Skinner
09:48 Jan 26, 2022

I see what you are saying thanks ig for the feedback. Btw they are sad throughout LOL! I'm guessing you did not like it and I don't know what you mean by (bias). Why were you so mean about it though?

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Kathleen `Woods
10:38 Jan 26, 2022

I might've presented this wrongly, I didn't mean any offense, but it's not about liking it or not. I was trying to deconstruct the pieces that are actually there, and what I got from it overall, and then farther, how I've dealt with similar problems in my own work. I'm sorry for how this came off. Are there any issues that you take from your work that are on higher priority? I'd be a rather large hypocrite if I told you to do any less than disregard my original comment if you feel it won't serve your development.

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Shaylynn Skinner
10:46 Jan 26, 2022

I understand but you realize, I am way younger than you right? I might not have everything perfect, but I am only in middle school. Did you read my Bio? I am not going to disregard your original comment, because I care about what they say. You have great critics, but you could have said them nicer.

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Kathleen `Woods
12:45 Jan 26, 2022

Honestly fair. Just as a pointer, what would've made it nicer?

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Shaylynn Skinner
12:51 Jan 26, 2022

Hello, I am Kathleen I have been writing for a while now, so I do have some critiques that I am going to share with you, Blah Blah Blah...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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Shaylynn Skinner
20:16 Jan 26, 2022

I just re read everything and I see what you're saying now. You were not rude I just read it wrong I am very sorry. My bad :|

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18:00 Nov 23, 2022

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Alkaa Sharma
14:26 Mar 10, 2022

OMG......i have goosebumps....it's terrific ....all the best 🎉🎉

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Nicole Of 2022
00:44 Apr 09, 2022

TYSM!!

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Susannah Meghans
16:22 Feb 26, 2022

I like the twist ending!!!

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Nicole Of 2022
00:45 Apr 09, 2022

I REALLY LOVED WRITING IT!!

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Lilliane Wei
22:11 Feb 09, 2022

Hi Shaylynn! Sorry it took me so long to read this, I've been super busy lately. I think this is a pretty great story, though some of the grammar and punctuation (especially around dialogue) could be edited to make it flow better. Best, Olivia

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Nicole Of 2022
00:46 Apr 09, 2022

TYSM!! No worries!!

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J Sagar
09:58 Feb 06, 2022

That twist at the end was really unexpected. Great job!

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Nicole Of 2022
19:09 Feb 07, 2022

Thank you. I really wanted a creepy twist!

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