81 comments

Fantasy Science Fiction

           I will tell you now that in this world, there is no love. But because there is no love, there is also no pain. In this world, the moon sits in the sky during mornings and the sun shines in the night. In this world, you are not walking away with your blonde ringlets and cold, clear eyes. In this world, I do not love you because, in this world, you do not exist.

           I am now walking in this world to the usual coffee shop we go to. The moonlight is bright enough to light my way there without the help of streetlights. It is white and full this morning and looks like the pearls that sit between your lips when you smile. This world is meant for remembering, but I cannot remember the rest of your face only your smile. 

           When I arrive at the coffee shop in this world, the shop says 'Closed'. I enter. Everything is closed in this world, but you can always enter. Isn’t that right, darling? I order your usual drink but the cup comes to me empty. I leave.

           Usually, when we leave the shop you hold a donut in your dainty hands. You marvel at the smooth, sugary glaze before sinking your moons into its flesh. You finished the donut, but you left me its hole. In this world, you are not here. There is no sweetness and there is no glaze. There is no hole. Again, I try to think about your face, but it comes to me as blurs. This world is meant for remembering, but why can I not remember?

           It is interesting how it is not difficult to sleep at night when the sun is glaring down at me. The last nights before you left were the worst. I tossed and turned in the darkness left by your shadow. But in this world, the sun warms me and I drift into a peaceful slumber. In this world, there is no darkness and there is no shadow. But why can I no longer sleep in this world?

           In this world, the day you left was the day that the sun rose in the west at night and set in the east in the morning. I wish to live in this world forever, but yet, I cannot. I cannot remember, and there is pain. The hole is still there. The moon and your shadow still keep me up at night. But I will tell you now that what is the same between our home and this world is that there is no love. I created this world because you wanted to live in it. But in this world, your shadow no longer walks here. 

           When I open my eyes, it is dark outside, but I try to think of you again, but it hurts. You no longer exist. I look around but I am unsure of where I am. It is a laboratory of sorts but I remember falling asleep in my room. My arms are bound and so are my legs. My head is held still by some sort of contraption from the glimpse I caught of it in the dark of the windows near me. I look at the window again.

           "You are awake," says a disembodied voice.

           I do not see any figure in the room with me from the window’s reflection.

           "Who are you?" I ask.

           "You do not remember my voice?" questions the voice.

           It sounds like a woman. The voice seems to surround me and come from every corner of the room. My eyes wander but to no avail. The voice sounds a little like you, but I know it is not you.

           "No," I answer. Should I?

           "Good." Her voice suggests that she is smiling.

           Her last word hangs in the air until it is replaced with something sliding open, causing a gust of wind that raises goosebumps on my exposed ankles. I shiver involuntarily. I hear footsteps from behind me and feel myself stiffen. They stop by my head where my line of sight does not reach, but I can see their reflection behind mine on the window. I stare hard at the woman in a white coat. She is tiny with clear eyes and golden ringlets that cascade from the top of her head. She fixes the angle of the smart-looking glasses that are perched on top of her slightly upturned nose.

           "Who are you?" I ask again.

           "You should know," she says.

           She sounds amused.

           "Do you know where you are?" she then asks.

           I open my mouth, but no words come out. Where am I? I purse my lips.

           "This world," I finally answer, but I know my answer sounds ridiculous.

           She confirms my fears by chuckling.

           "Not exactly."

           I thought she found this situation amusing but when I see her eyes, there is sadness. She sighs.

           "Do you remember one of the last things you thought about before you woke up?" she tries again.

           I think. Suddenly, I remember, and at the same time, my restraints loosen and fall. Every time I enter the world I created for her, I forget everything else for a while when I first return.

           "Emily," I say.

           A small smile appears on her lips. "Nice to have you back."

           My sister waits for me to rise, but I do not.

           "I created this world," I whisper and turn my head to the side to look out the window.

           "Yes, with your mind," she says.

           "With my mind…" I repeat quietly.

           "For her," she finishes.

           "For her," I repeat, "but it does not exist…"

           All the memories come to me at once. Tyra returns to my mind but still, her face is missing. I can still only recall her eyes and smile. There were five of us that left on the ships to the New World. Mother had separated us to raise the chances of us arriving safely. Her and Tyra's ship crashed into a star that was not detected by her ship's sensors until it was too late; the pilots were careless. Father had to leave first because of his work. His ship survived but upon its arrival, he was missing. Our ship was damaged as well, but we were lucky. There were injuries, some minor some severe, but all of us are alive. My sister and I were of the less fortunate who suffered severe injuries. Brain trauma they called it. I still cannot properly recall the image of our youngest sister, Tyra. Neither can Emily. Our Mother and Father are also a blur but at least with Tyra, I still remember her smile and her eyes. But why can I not put her whole image together? I am beginning to mix her up with Emily but I know they do not look alike.

           They told us that technology was the answer to everything but why couldn’t it help me remember Tyra? They told me to try to recreate her with my mind; I couldn’t. I created this world to try to remember you. This world that you wanted to live in because of all that you had suffered because of something you truly loved—our home. But instead, this world is slowly stripping me of my memories of you in my attempt to recreate you. In this world, there is no love and no pain, but there is also no you. You wanted to live in a world different from our home; one where the sun sets in the east and rises in the west, but where we are now, there is no sun and there is no moon, and there is no you. We're still far from our destination but we know that once we arrive, Emily and I and everyone aboard this ship, the sun will not rise in the east and set in the west there. There will be no sun at all. But there may be a moon or many moons that will resemble the pearls hidden behind your lips, and the clouds may part like your lips and reveal the moon like your smile then maybe I will remember you better. But until then, I will always hold onto your smile and this world you wanted to live in where the sun rises in the east at night and sets in the west by day.

April 27, 2020 06:06

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81 comments

Pranathi G
16:28 May 02, 2020

Nice story! Can you read my story and give me feedback? It's called "THE TIME HAS COME." It's for the same contest. Thank you!

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Ai Jiang
06:25 May 03, 2020

Hi Pranathi, Thank you for the comment and for sure I’ll take a look!

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21:28 May 01, 2020

Ai I enjoyed reading your story. I loved the imagery you used to scribe how the world worked. I thoroughly enjoyed how everything was the opposite of what you would think. You do a great job with getting the characters emotions across, I was able to feel the emptiness that the narrator was feeling. I would love to know more about where they were going and what happened that made them leave? Also I'm very curious as to what happened to their dad. I want to know why he went missing. Overall I think you did a really great job with this ...

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Ai Jiang
23:45 May 01, 2020

Hi Stephanie, Thank you for your comments! I was debating on making this story longer but I decided to leave the ending more ambiguous, but perhaps I will come back to it and develop it into a longer piece. The original intention was that Earth was destroyed so they must travel to a new planet or New World as they call it, but that plan fell apart so they must live aboard a space station until they find a suitable home (this would be later in the story but perhaps I will add it in at the end for clarity!). Also, I'm glad you enjoyed my s...

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Ananya M
20:24 May 01, 2020

I loved this story! Great job :)

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Ai Jiang
23:46 May 01, 2020

Thank you!:)

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Harken Void
11:36 May 01, 2020

Hi Ai. I read your story and I realy liked the concept you were going with (everything felt like it was in reverse - in a good way -; the coffe shop closed yet she entered, the cup coming empty). I also loved how you showed us that the world was created by her mind and that in reality she was traveling on a spaceship (makes you wonder why? what happened to Earth? What year is this, etc.) Very cool! I must say thoguh, that the ending felt kind of too soon and vague. As a reader I'd like to know the answers to the above questions.

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Ai Jiang
19:31 May 01, 2020

Hi Harken, Thank you so much for the comment and suggestion! I’ll be sure to keep that in mind when writing future stories. Sometimes I leave my endings quite vague so that the readers can interrupt the situation going on but I should clarify some things so that there is a better sense of the idea I’m trying to get across! Thank you again for the comment!

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Harken Void
20:57 May 01, 2020

Glad to help :) Good luck in your future endeavours!

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Ai Jiang
23:28 May 01, 2020

Thank you! You as well :)

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Zinnia Hansen
05:01 Nov 20, 2020

This story managed to be abstract and concrete at the same time. It felt like it was made of intricate, but binary patterns, if that makes any sense? Beautiful and original, I love your style.

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Ai Jiang
20:31 Nov 26, 2020

Thank you so much for your kind words!

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Andrew Krey
17:22 Sep 24, 2020

Hi Ai, I love this story. It's such a great take on the prompt, and the world you create is amazing. Some of the contrasts you use, are excellently observed. I especially liked how the light and warmth of the sun at night made it easier to sleep! I also really liked this line: "In this world, there is no love and no pain, but there is also no you." I hope the feedback was helpful. Happy writing.

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Ai Jiang
16:58 Sep 26, 2020

Thank you so much for the feedback!

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Andrew Krey
00:15 Sep 27, 2020

You're welcome :)

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S. Closson
05:00 Sep 23, 2020

I just finished reading your stories and they are delightful. You are a fantastic writer, and your schooling certainly shows in your work. I look forward to reading your future stories!

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Ai Jiang
16:59 Sep 26, 2020

Thank you so much! I hope they don’t disappoint :)

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11:38 Jul 30, 2020

Incredible! It flows like prose and evokes such gut reaction of nostalgia and longing; I feel as though this experience speaks universally to the feeling of loss and yearning to return to those days. As I read, I knew the beginning part was sort of a dreamscape, but did she actually create a whole world or was it only in her mind? And where are Emily and the narrator speaking from when she wakes? But as a teacher once told me, "A good story leaves you with more questions than answers." So, well done!

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Ai Jiang
21:03 Aug 27, 2020

Hi Jordan, Sorry for the delay in response! Yes, it was created using my mind through a sort of virtual reality technology and does not actually exist. When the narrator wakes, he's on a spaceship with his sister Emily! Thank you so much again!

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Charles Stucker
16:04 Jul 28, 2020

"But in this world, the sun warms me and I drift into a peaceful slumber. In this world, there is no darkness and there is no shadow. But why can I no longer sleep in this world?" This confused me. Peaceful slumber but cannot sleep? I've read enough of your work to see how you experiment with styles. This one begins by evoking a sort of macabre fantasy feel, but ends with soft science fiction. It's a tough transition and causes the end to feel like a lot of remote recitation of history. You have enough words, you could have written the l...

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Ai Jiang
21:05 Aug 27, 2020

Hi Charles, Thank you so much for your comment! I also agree that my transition and ending could use a little work, to say the least. Actually, when I was writing this, I only noticed the genre tag with the prompt halfway through this story and that's why there was a sudden transition.

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Great work! In your story, it said, "The shop says 'Closed'. I enter," and "You finished the donut, but you left me its hole." I thought that was very creative and clever. I loved it! ^^

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Ai Jiang
23:28 May 01, 2020

Thank you! :)

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No problem at all! 😊

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05:12 May 05, 2022

So interesting, ideally the context has more it takes for whoever is interested to find the best out of this, I loved the idea in the story

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Neala S
19:35 Feb 09, 2021

This story is so descriptive but so vague at the same time. It's very mysterious, and you are an incredible author! :)

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