24 comments

Drama Fantasy

A rush of chilliness came through Meiko’s body, as she slowly opened her eyes. The sky was bright with the moon, the swift rows of street lamps around the dark surrounding area added to the light. The original cold feeling she felt in her lungs started to transform into a comforting warmth, contradicting her dark and cool surroundings. She looked downwards, surprised to see her feet levitating off the ground, the light from the moon twinkling through her seemingly transparent body. 

Meiko felt that rush of cold again, as she ran, her feet bouncing off of the air, causing her to go higher and higher into the sky. She shivered, feeling a sudden shift not only in temperature but in her emotions, her mind once calm and collected now trembling with fear. She shouted, but no one was there to hear her. Not a person in sight. 

She stared down at her callused hands, watching them glow. At this point, Meiko was farther up in the sky, waiting and running, trying desperately to find if not answers then a purpose for where to go next. As she ran, her memories started to flood back, like a shimmering, pouring waterfall.

She remembered falling, and nothing more. Just falling and falling, from somewhere unattainable. She remembered grabbing at the sky, reaching for anything she could hang onto, anything that could save her. She remembered reaching for her past, for the comfort of her home and her family, but also reaching for the future, something she could hold in her hands, something to grip onto, but always just a step ahead of her. She remembered the fall, but she couldn’t remember the crash, just the moment before it, the immense panic going through her veins, the dread and fear of the fall. 

Meiko remembered moments before she fell, but not exactly how. She remembered the sky, the moon shining desperately through the gloominess, the gleaming stars and the darkness between them. She remembered the earthiness below her, and the stars above. 

And then she remembered a man, pushing her. She couldn’t make out his face from her memory, but she remembered his deep voice, like that of the wind on a winter day. She would always remember his voice, the voice that killed her. 

For that had to be it, right?, Meiko thought, trying to remember his face. There was just no other explanation. Of course, it wasn’t something that she knew for sure, but no one truly did, no matter what everyone thought. Each person has their own envision of the afterlife, and this must be hers. 

“Hello, Mei,” a deep voice said, a chilling voice with an edge as sharp as a blade. Meiko gasped, and then started to cry. It was his voice. The voice of her killer. 

Tears dripping from her eyes fell down through the sky, pattering onto the street below her. As Meiko looked down, she could now see more figures of mist and light, like her own hands and reflection. The people looked calm, like she was when she first awakened. Nothing like how she felt now, her arms shaking wildly, each breath a little bit quicker than the last. 

Meiko wouldn’t dare turn around, the fear coursing through her veins echoing through her entire body. A faint breeze came by, ruffling up her long hair slightly, but also traveling through her stomach. She didn’t want to see his face, the face of the man who had ended her life. But somewhere inside her mind, she knew that she needed to face him at some point. 

Still, the fear coursed through her, and the wind kept her motionless, though she was still floating in the sky. Meiko didn’t turn around, didn’t give the man the satisfaction of seeing her fear all over her face. She didn’t want him to win, no matter what it was that he had done. 

“Who are you,” she asked, still static. “And why did you kill me.”

The man laughed. Meiko could almost see his cool smile through his heavy voice. “I did not kill you, necessarily. I just..gave you a little shove in the right direction. So you’d end up here.”

“Here?” Meiko asked, now feeling anger along with her chilly panic. “And you dodged my question. Who are you?”

The man let out a little chuckle again, a laugh worth a thousand words. “Who I am does not matter. But where you are does.” He paused here, carefully enunciating his words. “I believe you would call this place Yomi.”

Yomi. The land of the dead. Meiko knew it well. It was not like the typical heaven or hell, not a place to aspire to go to or to be afraid of. It was simply where the dead roamed, where spirits could converse. A murky, yet fascinating existence. Like life, but dead.

“Why bring me here?” she asked, relaxing her shoulders. Meiko could calm herself slightly now. She knew where she was. She knew how she got there. That was at least half of the answers. 

But not enough. 

“Because,” the man said, his voice faltering slightly. “Because you belong here. This is where you’re supposed to be.” 

Meiko’s fear started to dissolve slightly, as she remembered the old legends about yomi. She realized that she had the upper hand now. That she could twist the tale in her favor. 

“I’m not stuck here, though,” she countered, giving herself a sly smile. “I haven’t eaten the fruit of the hearth yet. For the moment, this is temporary.”

The man let out another laugh, this time more of a villainous cackle. “That’s true,” he said. “The fruit of the hearth is what keeps souls in the underworld. But it is a long journey out, and there is no point, really. Your soul is stuck. You belong here.”

You belong here. He kept saying that. As if she had a choice. As if he hadn’t pushed her. 

“You keep saying that,” Meiko said, her fear returning.

“Because it’s true,” the man replied, his voice going deeper than it had before. “Because you are meant for this world, not the world you were born into. Because you need to be here. It’s where you’re meant to be.”

Meiko looked down again at the glowing figures below her. Others who belonged here, and others who didn’t. People who needed to be here, and people who had chosen to. People who had eaten the fruit of the hearth, but not necessarily by choice. Not while this man was forcing them to eat it. 

“Stop it,” Meiko said, the anger she had felt earlier coursing through her once again. “I don’t need to eat the fruit. I don’t need to.”

“I’m aware,” the man said, his voice reflecting a coy grin. “But it may just be the right choice.”

The right choice. Meiko knew those words. For so long, she had been focused on what might be the right choice. Maybe ending her existence was it. Maybe she was ready for this. 

Meiko felt the fear in her spirit, in her soul. She felt anger and fear and more anger, anger at the man, for not presenting her with a choice, anger at herself, for wondering if he was right, and anger with the world, for reasons she wasn't sure she could explain. She just felt anger and fear, fear and anger, two worlds in her mind, contradicting each other.

“No,” Meiko said, feeling ready to scream from the offset emotions she felt. That fear and that anger combining in her mind. In her spirit. “No! I will not eat the fruit.”

The man sighed, and though she still had her back to him, Meiko could almost see his smile again, a reflective gaze. Disappointed, but still coy. He still had the power. 

“As you wish,” he said, his voice faltering ever so slightly. “As you wish. But remember, Mei, you do not belong in that world.”

And suddenly, Meiko was falling again. Falling, falling, falling, from somewhere unattainable, until she reached the end. Or not the end, just moments before it, the moment of fear in her eyes, the moment of panic before the fall.

And then she was gently rocked down onto the streets, until she found herself lying down in the middle of a crowded city. Meiko slowly opened her eyes again, revealing the city of Hiroshima she grew up in, her home. That place that was so unreachable, just like her future. Her future that was now in her arms, a future she could finally hold in her visible hands. Her very own future that was now fully in her grasp. 

Meiko got up off of the street, clenching her jaw, still terrified of what she might find in that future, but excited that she still had it. She looked up at the skies above, watching the sun rise as a new day began.

(Author's note: this is vaguely based off of Japanese legends. I'm not Japanese, I just did my research. If there are any problems with this story, if it's found offensive or anything like that, I will take it down. Thank you)

September 14, 2020 18:01

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

24 comments

02:36 Sep 15, 2020

You did a really good job with this! I like how you based it off a legend. I enjoyed how the story itself only spanned a short period of time yet it explained so much and in such vivid detail. Great job!

Reply

Maya W.
12:28 Sep 15, 2020

Thanks so much! Would you mind checking out some of my other stories?

Reply

13:25 Sep 15, 2020

Of course not! I'll be sure to check out a couple more :)

Reply

Maya W.
13:39 Sep 15, 2020

Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Evelyn ⭐️
19:43 Sep 14, 2020

It's cool you did research for this one!! As usual it's an amazing story. I also really enjoyed the beginning. Actually and the end! So good job!!

Reply

Maya W.
20:04 Sep 14, 2020

Thanks so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ariadne .
02:47 Oct 02, 2020

I applaud you for your research! I feel it adds a whole layer to a story when the author goes and mixes different cultures to it. It makes it a lot more refreshing. Hats off to you for that! I found one error here: “Who are you,” she asked, still static. “And why did you kill me.” There should be question marks here instead of a comma and period. Other than that, fabulous work again! I upvoted all the comments in this story, too! I hope it helps. The downvoters are ruthless. ~Ria

Reply

Maya W.
12:52 Oct 02, 2020

Thanks so much! I really enjoy researching for stories, so as long as these aren't found and posted on tumblr or something, it's a win-win situation. And thanks again for your upvotes :)

Reply

Ariadne .
17:19 Oct 02, 2020

Oh, that would be horrible! Not a problem, anytime! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
04:54 Sep 23, 2020

This was such a unique way to tell a story, especially from the point of view of another culture, since I tend to not do that. I’m also glad you did research about it, since you made sure to educate yourself before writing about a culture or issue—more people need to do that, especially considering what’s currently happening right now! Anyway that’s getting a bit heavy, but what I mean to say is that it was a wonderful, wonderful story, very interesting how you had the concept of temptation there! Keep writing, and well done!

Reply

Maya W.
12:38 Sep 23, 2020

Thanks so much! I really enjoy researching other cultures and trying to tell my own versions of their stories, but I know that people don’t often appreciate it, so I wanted to make it clear that I’m not of that culture.

Reply

16:20 Sep 23, 2020

Yeah that definitely makes sense!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Bianka Nova
13:22 Sep 21, 2020

Thanks for doing the research and providing us with a peak into Japanese mythology. That was really interesting, and you manage to keep the reader on the edge, by making them wonder who's the man who "killed" her, what would her decision be, etc. What I'd point out is something similar to what someone else had already commented on - repetitions. You have some of those in the beginning as well (moon, stars, dark(ness)...). Try coming up with alternative ways to describe the scene, or shorten those paragraphs a bit, so that you won't need the...

Reply

Maya W.
15:48 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you so much! Yeah, I'm currently writing a story for this week's prompts and trying really hard not to make any repetition mistakes (I already spotted a few)! Thanks again for reading!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Kathryn D
22:37 Sep 17, 2020

This was amazingly unique!

Reply

Maya W.
22:38 Sep 17, 2020

Thanks so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Jade Young
04:10 Sep 17, 2020

This story is unique and your writing style is amazing. The beginning felt very poetic, and then you transported me into another world filled with Japanese lore. I kept wondering whether or not she was going to eat the fruit. You kept me on the edge of my seat. Keep up the great writing😉

Reply

Maya W.
12:18 Sep 17, 2020

Thanks so much!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Maggie Deese
02:09 Sep 17, 2020

This is beautiful, Maya! Truly, and completely beautiful. Your writing style is nothing short of stunning and had me enthralled from the very beginning. You explained Meiko's surroundings perfectly, creating vivid imagery in my mind. The only thing I would suggest, if anything, would be to make use of synonyms. I spotted the word 'remember' so many times and, to give it a bit of contrast, you could use 'recall' or 'recollect'. Just a thought! Overall, this was an utterly stunning story!

Reply

Maya W.
02:30 Sep 17, 2020

Thanks so much! I’ll be sure to do that next time!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Yolanda Wu
06:08 Sep 15, 2020

Wow, I love that this story is based off of Japanese legends. The writing, as usual is absolutely stunning, and the story was intriguing, filled with mystery and suspense. You did such a good job at keeping me wondering and I was clutching onto every word. Well-written and amazing!

Reply

Maya W.
12:28 Sep 15, 2020

Thanks so much! I promise I'll get to your stories soon, I've been really busy.

Reply

Yolanda Wu
23:45 Sep 15, 2020

That's totally understandable, hope you have a nice day. :)

Reply

Maya W.
01:54 Sep 16, 2020

Thanks :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
RBE | We made a writing app for you (photo) | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.